posted September 05, 2012 08:57 AM              

I tried taking an acting class and that only calls for you to be yourself even more so it gave quite a rush but i haven't taken any more classes & i still haven't found much relief elsewhere.

Is this something that will go away? I'm thinking i need to retire to a large suburban home and spend my time laying by the pool and doing things only like shopping and going to the gym.

posted September 05, 2012 09:05 AM            

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Passion, Lust, Desire. Check out my journal

posted September 05, 2012 09:21 AM              

quote:

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Originally posted by Ami Anne:
Wow
Sun conj SN. I never met anyone with that. Could you please elaborate more on it, if you care to.

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It's exact. 14 degrees in Virgo. In my Fifth House... My creative side is overdeveloped. To the point of my testing at an advanced level in writing and reading but testing remedial when it comes to mathematics.

I feel as if i can't hide much.

I've tried going places wearing masks and it only calls for more attention. I had a cough once and used the opportunity to wear a hospital mask to not get anyone sick and since i wouldn't be easily identified, i went out only to have the entire venue freak out because of it.

It's VERY easy to receive attention.. Too easy and to better focus, over the years i've developed this thing to become oblivious to my surroundings so unless i'm talking to the person or engaging in an activity, nothing else exists but me and where i'm going or what i'm doing.

One photographer that i knew was a drama major.. I was invited to their house for Christmas dinner and the dinner turned to somehow be about me.. What i was wearing, what i would say.. I chucked it to them being jealous though later they said that they felt it was always about me... I concur. Even when i try not to make it about me or am just going about my business it becomes about me.

A friend in high school used to tell me that the world did not revolve around me... Til i found out it was just coming from a place where she felt it wasn't revolving around HER.

Regardless, i turn to my spiritually and beacause i have so much energy at my disposal, i've gotten into VERY deep states of trance VERY quickly and have experienced what one may call odd experiences with the other side since a very, very, young age.

So, i'm wondering if maybe just checking into a resort would be the route to go.. Because my daily life somehow seems as if i need a full staff to just to cover all of the things going on.

posted September 05, 2012 10:18 PM            

Yes, I agree. My SN conj. Sun Aries in 1st house widely at 5 degree though.

But it's noticeable. I feel exhausted and empty each time talking too much about myself. The hardest part is not sharing or concession... (all about libra/7th), the problem is "The art of balancing" (about win/win, 50/50)because I got Pluto conj. 7th, me either being too selfish, or pandering too much. Either one will cause my anger and frustration about relationship.
So, I guess "not being me" temporarily, and trying to really fit in other's mind is great for me.

anyway, psychology/counselling theory helps my a lot.

posted January 24, 2022 04:44 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by C1ND3R:
..I can only describe it as feeling like an ostrich wanting to stick your head in the sand til the coast is clear..

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yesss. awkward AF in the spotlight. feels like there is a spotlight even when there is no spotlight. whenever i get too much attention, i want to hide. all the people ive known to put the spotlight on me have been libra suns and i wanted to stab them. wore shades all the time until i met someone who wore/wears shades all the time.. however he has cancer sun conjunct north node.

posted January 24, 2022 06:53 AM            

The tricky part is that my North Node is in Leo ruled by this Sun. So it's kind of looped. On top of that, the Nodes are direct.

Still haven't figured out what it means.

posted January 24, 2022 06:15 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by AlmaRegulus:

I do relate to a strong desire to be not myself.

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posted January 24, 2022 08:03 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Sauerkraut:
oh that is tricky, Alma. what houses are your nodes hitting?

had thought it was mostly a neptune thing, but reading the comments here makes more sense. like being afraid to shine and hiding behind clouds.

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Yes totally!

I was also tripping at some point about the notion of NON-ME that some artist mentioned.

My North Node is in the 9th in Leo

South Node, Sun (within 5*), Mars, Mercury in the 3rd in Aqua

And the South Node trines Moon the ruler of the 9th (with the North Node), Saturn the ruler of the 3rd (with the South Nod) and Jupiter symbolic ruler of the 9th (with the North Node)

On top of that the stellium trined by South Node is in 11th, the house of Aqua where is the South Node