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Author
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Topic: Aries, should I point out a lie?
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Georgefield
Newflake Posts: 19
From: boston
Registered: Apr 2011
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posted September 19, 2012 03:36 PM
  
Hi everyone,I have a question about aries libra people. I would like to know if it would anger people with heavy aries and libra if someone points out some little lie they make. Here is the story. I have a business partner with sun in aries, moon in libra. He is a very very good partner, always finishing his job beautifully and asthetically. Things done and finished by him are all clear and nice for the eyes. I have no complaint about that. But lately I found out that he sometimes would postpone some works and make up some lies as excuses. I understand he is very busy, but I don't want him to think that he can fool me easily with those lies. He could have told me straight that he is busy and would like to postpone the works, I would have completely understood and accepted it. He didn't, he tried to make me believe it is not because of his personal reasons that the jobs can't be done. He lied many times, and I always chose to take his lies without saying anything as long as it is not hurting business. But this month, I noticed that he lied many times, and I was convinced that he took me as a fool, so I just said "are you sure? I was told otherwise. Please let me know if the situation changes." He sounded a bit shocked. I seriously don't want this to affect the partnership, but I also want him to know I am not stupid. I believe he is a very capable and reliable partner and it's hard to find a better partner than him. He never says no and always can complete things that others might not be able to do, and I really appreciate everything he has done. Right now I kind of feel bad about checking with others and letting him know I might be doubting his words. How would you aries or libra feel if someone finds out and points out a lie you make? Any feedbacks would be appreciate. IP: Logged |
lalalinda
Moderator Posts: 2574
From: nevada
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted September 19, 2012 03:49 PM
Hi Georgefield! Welcome to LL  ------------------
"For all those who believe, expect a miracle.”
Linda Goodman 1925-1995 IP: Logged |
vickymadness
Knowflake Posts: 711
From: Minnesota
Registered: Jan 2012
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posted September 19, 2012 04:21 PM
Well I won't feel comfortable around you anymore.
We hold our capabilities very dear to our hearts and we believe in each tiny thing we do , it's part of our passion and self-motivation ...Trust me, I'm 100% sure he feels bad about it. Because I try to give my best in everything I do and when I don't I torture myself and I can't get over it till it's done perfectly... the only satisfaction I get is when I see my own work done perfectly and ON TIME ... so if you want him to stop lying, I think a direct confrontation won't do any good, it's a total backfire ... here's something, surprise him , tell him how punctual he is and that you appreciate his work because it's always right on time. We don't like to let people down, so high chances he 'll work on himself to keep that good image - you made up - about him Use the reverse mechanism , it works perfectly on us  , like if you want the work to be done fast, tell him take your time, he'll want to show you how fast and effective he is and will get it done fast. That will be my reaction , I'm not sure about him. IP: Logged |
hannaramaa
Knowflake Posts: 2431
From:
Registered: Nov 2011
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posted September 19, 2012 06:05 PM
I'm an Aries (Sun, Venus, and mercury in Aries.) and most of the time I find Libras to be fulllllll of BS. I mean, I need knee-high boots to be around them most of the time. Sun or moon. Libras are very fond of "glossing" over things, being indirect (the opposite of what an Aries would do) and be soft, gentle. It comes off as a lie but to them they're trying to treat everyone with kid gloves for some reason. The only way I can seem to get my point across to a Libra is indirectly. If you confront them directly like "Why are you lying to me?" it will make them extremely uncomfortable, even if it's true. I don't really understand why that is yet but am working on it. As an Aries I wouldn't stand for it the first time. But I've worked with Libras before. I had a problem with one who would slack off by taking extra long and excessive amounts of time exchanging our hanger racks (it's easy, you just have to roll the full hanger rack to the back room, and bring out an empty one. It shouldn't take more than seven minutes, if that.) So one day while him and I were working and he was back there chit-chatting, I said "Are you done with the hanger racks yet ______? It's been awhile and there's a line of people out of the que." over our headset. In my head, that's letting everyone know a) he's not up here doing his job, and b) our manager can take note of that. It got my point across that I was not about to be his patsy without me having to directly say "You take forever putting the hanger rack up." IP: Logged |
hannaramaa
Knowflake Posts: 2431
From:
Registered: Nov 2011
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posted September 19, 2012 06:05 PM
quote:
Originally posted by vickymadness:
Use the reverse mechanism , it works perfectly on us , like if you want the work to be done fast, tell him take your time, he'll want to show you how fast and effective he is and will get it done fast.That will be my reaction , I'm not sure about him.
IP: Logged |
Georgefield
Newflake Posts: 19
From: boston
Registered: Apr 2011
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posted September 19, 2012 11:50 PM
Thanks for the replies!I always say to him that I appreciate him very much and that he does a great job, but I gradually found out he lies more and more. He seems to know that he does a great job and he can't be replaced, so he would just do things whenever he pleases??? He just did it again yesterday. He first made a lie for not being able to complete the job, and later promised he will do it but in the end postponed it again just by disapearing for a day. So now what? Am I just going to accept he does a good job when he likes, but he would choose when to do it and make up lies?
I noticed he is very quick in making up lies though. It seems to come to him naturally. That ability is also not what everyone has. He is very diplomatic, but often gives me that "I was fooled again" feeling. Now I don't even know if he was being lazy or he has other personal business. It troubles me because I have my schedule, but his unsteady work pattern make me have to postpone my schedule and I don't like surprises or lies. IP: Logged |
hannaramaa
Knowflake Posts: 2431
From:
Registered: Nov 2011
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posted September 19, 2012 11:55 PM
quote:
Originally posted by Georgefield:
Thanks for the replies!I always say to him that I appreciate him very much and that he does a great job, but I gradually found out he lies more and more. He seems to know that he does a great job and he can't be replaced, so he would just do things whenever he pleases??? He just did it again yesterday. He first made a lie for not being able to complete the job, and later promised he will do it but in the end postponed it again just by disapearing for a day. So now what? Am I just going to accept he does a good job when he likes, but he would choose when to do it and make up lies?
I noticed he is very quick in making up lies though. It seems to come to him naturally. That ability is also not what everyone has. He is very diplomatic, but often gives me that "I was fooled again" feeling. Now I don't even know if he was being lazy or he has other personal business. It troubles me because I have my schedule, but his unsteady work pattern make me have to postpone my schedule and I don't like surprises or lies.
Ugh, whatever. Yes you obviously value his work but he's obviously taking advantage of that! That's a no-no in the world of Aries! I would sit him down (assuming you're his superior) and explain that while you appreciate his quality of work, interpersonal relationships are also important in the work field and that you're willing to train someone who is honest and ethical vs. keep him without being able to trust him. You are too busy for such trivial matters and it's a waste of your time as well as his, because obviously if he is lying he's not happy there. IP: Logged |
Georgefield
Newflake Posts: 19
From: boston
Registered: Apr 2011
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posted September 20, 2012 12:38 AM
Thanks hannaramaa for the advice.I just spoke to him on the phone, and it turned out that he just finished the work in the end before deadline and was bringing it over. He did fulfill his promise in the end. I thought about sitting him down and having a talk with him, but I believe he doesn't want to disappoint me. I know he works hard. His creativity and astheticity are innate, which I do appreciate very much. When he said on the phone that it turned out that the supplier delievered one extra part that was lacking (It's funny that he really assumed I was an idiot.) and he was able to finish it, I was all satisfied, although the lies he made are too far fetched. Every now and then he would give me some far fetched stories, but he always manages to deliver things on time whenever I tell him it is urgent. I'm actually a very critical person, and my instructions are usually complicated and not everyone can follow completely without making a single mistake. He does it surprisingly well though, and he appears to be humble whenever I speak to him face to face. He only made one tiny mistake once and quickly offered repair method. I guess we really can't ask someone to be 100% perfect... IP: Logged |
vickymadness
Knowflake Posts: 711
From: Minnesota
Registered: Jan 2012
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posted September 20, 2012 01:36 PM
^ There got to be a reason behind his procrastination, I would say it's the lack of passion or NOT relating to the work he's doing. It's very important for us to inject our passion and trademark in the work we do ... for me, if I'm not passionate about the thing I do I will drop the whole thing, wait till I'm emotionally, mentally and physically connected to the work ( which is why I sometimes procrastinate), or deliver it with bad quality and feel terribly bad about it later on ... So my advice, don't confront him about the lies ... tell him that you don't see the spark in his eyes anymore or ask him whether he needs an annual vacation to "RE-GENERATE" his energy ...watch his reaction! IP: Logged |
vickymadness
Knowflake Posts: 711
From: Minnesota
Registered: Jan 2012
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posted September 20, 2012 01:38 PM
quote:
Originally posted by hannaramaa:
because obviously if he is lying he's not happy there.
Truue!
too bad we connect feelings to work -_- IP: Logged |
stillatlarge
Knowflake Posts: 267
From: TX
Registered: Nov 2010
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posted September 21, 2012 10:56 AM
My experience with Aries' are they are a lot like Scorpio's in that they WILL take advantage and think you're stupid if you let them and they will play you to the hilt. I gave my lunch money to a charming Aries for a year in the 6th grade. LOL. That is so embarrassing but at least I got that lesson out of the way at a young age with lunch money instead of my paycheck or something more substantial like a lot of people. My older brother who I loathe is one too and he is the same way. He's laughing about it, I'm sure. He knows exactly what he's doing. IP: Logged | |
Lindaland
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