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Author Topic:   Toxic relationship with my mom- any chance of healing?
Luminosity
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Posts: 57
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Registered: Nov 2011

posted October 07, 2012 11:02 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Luminosity     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Hey guys, I'm posting the composite chart for my mother and I as well as our synastry chart. As of now I have no relationship with her at all and I am wondering if somewhere down the line...many years from now...when she's on her deathbed...we could potentially have some sort of reconcilliation.

I had to sever my ties with her early on in my life because she is a very damaged person and it was hurting me a lot. Early on in my life we were the BEST of friends...it was only as I started to grow up that I realized something was very, very wrong. I have to admit that I still miss that bond that I had with her but I know it will never be the same.

Any advice or thoughts would be appreciated. What aspects indicate an unhealthy relationship and what ones point to potential forgiveness/understanding? I realize that it may not be worth the trouble though as she is very resistant to admitting the truth.

Thank you guys!



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11nahyt
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Posts: 1055
From: the future
Registered: Feb 2012

posted October 08, 2012 01:08 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for 11nahyt     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Edit

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Luminosity
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posted October 08, 2012 10:46 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Luminosity     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Any thoughts would be appreciated

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sweet-scorpion
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Posts: 1580
From: PA, USA
Registered: Apr 2012

posted October 09, 2012 12:19 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for sweet-scorpion     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
So sorry to hear this. My prayers are with you. I have natal Moon-Chiron conjunct and I have felt such similar things to you... like at first, Mom is your BFF but suddenly growing up you realize-wait, not everyone has this kind of mom, something is not right, and maybe things are not right between us after all. But the path to healing for your self is acknowledging you aren't in control of her, and you didn't know any better growing up that it was a flawed relationship. But despite the flaws, in my opinion I am sure that some kind of love does exist between you and your mother... even with me and my mother there is some sense of love past the distortions and weirdness.

You've got Chiron sextile Moon in your natal which shows potential ability to heal through interactions with your mother... when you are able to come to clarity and inner peace about both of your emotional issues. You weren't destined to forever be apart and wounded.

I can see some red flags for difficulties between you 2 though - like her Uranus right on your IC, showing upheaval, chaos, sudden shocks and thrills growing up in the home... not always in a good way either. Sudden tumult and chaos but probably a mom who seemed hip, cool and original - until she threw everything out of whack and off its axis, yeah? Also, her Pluto in your 4th is a major sign of intense and oft unwelcome transitions in the home... always feeling like sudden dramatic transformations will occur. Like those sudden revelations you got, severing ties, etc. Pluto is a feral tiger, cloaked in darkness but with a softer and more sensitive heart who is not going to play nice in the home. Pluto here shows in your heart you maybe thought Mom was a threat to you or something was not quite right with the whole thing...

A hazy and unclear and perhaps submerging, muddled-emotional relationship is shown through the tight Neptune-Sun conjunction in the synastry too. You might always feels like you are very deep feeling about your thoughts/emotions to your mom but can't quite put your finger on how you are truly feeling deep down, or how she is... something is foggy and unclear. And the more you search for answers in a tangible way and try to apply concrete values to your relationship, like having those normal mother-daughter outings etc., the worse it probably gets right? This is this aspect in action. Unfortunately Neptune turns the tides and can cause wavering feelings and confusions. It's quite difficult but can lead to enlightenment and potential spiritual growth for both parties. Her Saturn is also loosely but still conjunct your Sun which could definitely mean Mom is seen as almost a responsibility or necessary burden to you... right? Like maybe when you were younger, you felt like you needed to make your mom better, make her happier, try to 'fix' the relationship? You were the light that always tried to make the critical unhappy, and potentially cruel side of her go away. But sometimes it gets to feel like a burden being someone's ray of sunshine when they are constantly dragging you down.

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Luminosity
Knowflake

Posts: 57
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Registered: Nov 2011

posted August 19, 2013 11:19 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Luminosity     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Hi Sweet Scorpion, thank you for your reply, I just saw this, I don't come on here that much anymore. It's nice to know that perhaps some resolution can be reached in the future. Everything that you described was pretty spot on.

Thanks again
Luminosity

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slowpoke
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Posts: 546
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Registered: Nov 2009

posted August 21, 2013 01:26 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for slowpoke     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
There may be an easier way to read and understand complicated Synastry pie chart aspects. Pie chart aspects can also be produced onto a basic Synastry Aspect Chart, a color coded chart. Review the sample chart at your leisure. It may help you gain even more insight than you currently have.
http://risingpeople.wix.com/synastry-aspecting

http://risingpeople.wix.com/synastry-aspecting#!in-the-closet-astro-tools/c1s43

Slowpoke

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anonymidarkness
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Registered: Aug 2012

posted August 21, 2013 01:29 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for anonymidarkness     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
^ Isn't this spamming?

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Lioness
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Registered: Mar 2010

posted August 21, 2013 01:56 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Lioness     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I have recently discovered that healing your wounds, is more internal, it's about understanding what you are feeling, how it's effecting you, and how to accept the feelings so you can release the feelings, releasing it is about not carrying it with you, it weighs you down..
When you carry it, you bring it into all of your life, work, home, relationships etc..

Expecting waiting for your mother to come to you and make amends could take a life time.. Or it may never come..
Healing your self and your conscious is a way to accept what happen, and not carry it with you..

I met a man, that works on this... He's great.... I lost 10 lbs just from heaviness on my chest..

He's in the Los Angeles area, I could see if he does Skype work, or knows someone in your area..
If you like

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