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Author Topic:   Saturn contacts in Synastry....
Gabby
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posted October 15, 2012 11:28 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Gabby     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
IF you would, please tell your experiences with Saturn in synastry...
The guy im interested in has his saturn conjunct my psyche(3 degree), sq my moon(1 degree), opposed my neptune(7 degree), trine my venus(1 degree), trine my pluto(6 degree, to far?) sextile my jupiter(2 degree) sextile my chiron(6 degree,to far?)

My saturn trine his sun(3 degree),sq his venus(3 degree), sq his mars(6 degree),trine his neptune(2 degrees),sextile his pluto(1 degree)sextile his Ascendant(3 degrees)

After reading this, im wondering, how hard will this really be with all this saturn contact?
Altho, i know for myself, im looking for some limits that i dont seem to be able to give myself right now...i feel i want and need some grounding and focus...just dont know if this is the way to get it?


"SATRUN CONTACTS IN SYNASTRY"


If you want a relationship to last, you need to have Saturn contacts.

Saturn is the planet of responsibility, hard work, reality, dedication and time. A relationship can’t survive if the people in it don’t feel a sense of responsibility for one another. Any meaningful relationship requires work and effort, and a mutual sense of obligation binds people together.

Relationships that last have to pass a reality test. Summer romances don’t need Saturn contacts, flings don’t need Saturn contacts, but if you want lasting love, you want Saturn contacts. Saturn contacts form enduring bonds.

The negative side to Saturn contacts is that they can feel like a burden. They can be like a heavy weight resting on your shoulders.

If you are the Saturn person in the aspect connection then you may limit or restrict the other person in some way, or that person will feel like you do. The other person in the relationship may feel inhibited around you.

At worst, Saturn contacts are just depressing. When responsibility and duty overtake pleasure and fun a relationship loses its appeal.

Ready or not, Saturn makes you grow up. Saturn ages whatever it touches. The planets that Saturn contacts get a lesson in maturity.

If you don’t want to grow up, you might reject Saturn’s energy. You may resist responsibility and maturity and feel that people are holding you back. You may resist forming lasting connections with people.

Sun-Saturn
The Sun person learns to be a more mature version of who he is. He comes into his own.

Moon-Saturn
The Moon person gains emotional maturity and no longer gives in to child-like emotional displays.

Mercury-Saturn
The Mercury person learns to communicate like an adult.

Venus-Saturn
The Venus person learns what it’s like to be in a mature relationship.

Mars-Saturn
The Mars person learns to act like an adult.

Jupiter-Saturn
The Jupiter person learns about realistic optimism and expectations.

Saturn-Saturn
These two Saturns learn about shared responsibility and equal dedication.

Uranus-Saturn
The Uranus person learns to temper the urge for freedom with the need to establish ties.

Neptune-Saturn
The Neptune person learns the limits of illusion, fantasy and idealism.

Pluto-Saturn
The Pluto person learns about the limits of power struggles in a relationship.

Read more: http://astrofix.net/2010/07/16/saturn-contacts-in-synastry/#ixzz29QY0KZiD

*****THIS IS INTERESTING, SHE IS DISCUSSING HER PERSONAL EXPERIENCE WITH DIFFERENT SATURN ASPECTS!******

Sun-Saturn in Synastry
My first ex boyfriend and I had strong Saturn aspects in our synastry chart. It made total sense, given the fact that Saturn was transiting my 7th house at the time. More specifically, my Saturn was conjunct his Sun in Scorpio. My most recent ex had his Sun in Aquarius square my Saturn in Scorpio. Incidentally, he had Saturn transiting his 7th house when we were together.

Sun-Saturn aspects in synastry
are apparently very common aspects to find in the synastry charts of married couples and long-term partners. Indeed, my relationships with those two lasted quite a few years, but it wasn't without difficulty.

As the Saturn person, I felt both insecure and committed to each of them. Each one of them brought out many of my insecurities. Just by being themselves and expressing their individuality, my fears of rejection and getting hurt surfaced. In response, I criticized them and judged them harshly. I wanted to dominate them, control them, and stomp on their fun. I didn't want them to "grow", because I was too afraid they would grow apart from me.

Another reason I was so critical of these two guys was because I genuinely thought their ideas, feelings, and beliefs were incredibly stupid. Sounds harsh, I know, but some of their opinions and beliefs simply ****** me off. Instead of calmly voicing my own opinions, I insulted theirs. This, in turn, discouraged them greatly, but I felt I was doing them a favor. When I look back, I know I was a bit too harsh with them, but I felt (and STILL feel) they were childish and needed a good reality check.

The Sun-Saturn energy in synastry is much like the energy between a parent and child. In those two relationships, I felt that I was scolding my misbehaving children.

I was already into astrology when I met the Aquarius guy, so I knew this energy would manifest in our relationship somehow. I tried my best to keep my Saturnian energy in check, but when it came down to it, I simply couldn't help but criticize him. Trust me- I tried.


Moon-Saturn aspects in Synastry
I recently came out of a relationship that had a Moon-Saturn opposition double-whammy. By "double-whammy", I mean his Moon opposed my Saturn and his Saturn opposed my Moon. How does this aspect play out between two people, you may ask? Let me tell you.

The way it manifested in my relationship was through major emotional distancing. Him and I would do anything to avoid talking about our feelings. Even when problems arose which made either one of us feel angry, annoyed, jealous, or frustrated, we would not, and COULD not, voice our feelings to one another. I felt that if I told him how I felt, he would reject me, and he felt the same way. Even though I knew he had true feelings for me, self-doubt and fear of rejection would take over, and I'd end up keeping my feelings to myself. The same went for affection; affection did not flow easily between us due to deep-seated fears of rejection, which was ultimately frustrating for both parties. Also, neither of us ever felt we could express our playful, romantic sides around one another; I felt he would not approve of any kind of childishness from me, so I kept my mouth shut.

On the positive side, this relationship is particular was my longest. I think one of the things that made us last so long was the desire to find out what the other person felt. The emotional distancing both frustrated and intrigued me. I wanted to know what was in his heart, and he was dying to know how I felt. We both hung in there, hoping that one day, one of us would say how we truly felt about one another. After a while, we learned to express our feelings to one another, but only in small segments. We were both careful to never uncover "too much" about the way we felt.

Venus-Saturn in Synastry
My longest relationship featured a tight Saturn square Venus aspect in synastry, wherein I was the Venus person.

This is often known as the "unrequited love" aspect. Why? Saturn represents blockages and restrictions, which can manifest in many forms. Sometimes, the blockages come from external forces. Saturn rules tradition, so couples with this synastry aspect sometimes face opposition from either person's family. In my case, I was of a different cultural background than my partner. His parents were very traditional and strict, and would have never have approved of our union. Other external restrictions can include a mismatch in terms of age, social status, cultural background, or distance. Either way, there's usually something in the way of you being together.

Another way in which this manifested was through a withdrawal of affection. I never felt quite comfortable cuddling him, telling him I loved him, or making baby talk with him due to my fear that he would reject that kind of behavior. I censored my feelings of affection for him, and he did the same. He acted somewhat "fatherly" towards me, and I didn't want to risk his disapproval. Though he never explicitly told me he didn't want me to go out and have fun with my friends, he would often try to interfere with my plans if he knew I was going out.

Mars-Saturn in Synastry
This is a very negative aspect to share with someone in synastry.

With this aspect, it seems that no matter what the Mars person does, the Saturn person is bothered. Nothing is ever "good enough" for Saturn. The Saturn person usually sees the Mars person as childish and irresponsible. The Mars person's energy is the sort that makes the Saturn person very uncomfortable. More specifically, the Mars person's self-confidence and assertiveness brings out Saturn's insecurities, and in response, the Saturn person attempts to restrict and limit the Mars person's actions by telling Mars what to do. Saturn may resort to constantly tearing the Mars person down through criticism and psychological abuse.

It is common for Mars to feel Saturn is condescending and treats Mars like a child. Mars may become angry with this and lash out at the Saturn person. The cycle of criticism and conflict can soon become a vicious cycle. This aspect lends itself to verbally abusive relationships, and can even escalate into physical aggression.

Since Mars is the planet of sex and physical energy, this aspect can also manifest into sexual problems for the couple. Saturn may find the sex disappointed, and Mars may sense this, and lose their sexual confidence. This is an aspect often found in the synastry charts of sexless marriages.

For more synatry articles
http://astrolady.wix.com/astrolady

------------------
Gabby

quote:
"Leo Saturn in 10th house, im a professional goofball, working for smiles!"

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Gabby
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posted October 16, 2012 12:52 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Gabby     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I personally like saturn because it keeps me on my toes! I'm learning and growing, trying to keep the other saturn persons thoughts in perspective...maybe they have a point?
When its my saturn it forces me to stop and think about my partner...his needs...and realize i need to love him in the way he needs, not my way...his way! I feel it gives me the chance to rise to the challenge, am i loving enough to mind of matter...love someone as they need so they are inspired to grow in love, not fade away because of being in love with me!

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Doux Rêve
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posted October 16, 2012 07:22 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Doux Rêve     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Everything's about Saturn lately.


I don't like Saturn very much, to be honest.
Maybe that's because my natal Saturn is very afflicted and I have tons of insecurities, so when it gets activated in synastry it's like the other person knows exactly how to push my buttons and make me go nuts.

It IS binding though, very!
Times and times again I've seen people being stuck - be it emotionally or mentally, whatever - on someone whose planets touch their Saturn and it's hard to let go. They often say that even when the other person has been away for years, they still cross their mind from time to time, and I can relate to that.

It's quite mysterious, because there seems to be an invisible tie holding one person to the other *but* at the same time, it's seldom a fulfilling connection. More like a prison, wanting to break free so bad but you can't, no matter how hard you try. You're locked. And the thing is, it's all in your head.. Like a psychological blockage or something. Karma, maybe?


*But* this is how *I* have experienced it. People with easy Saturn aspects may not find it so restricting/heavy/binding.

I definitely think that hard Saturn aspects in synastry are a great challenge, especially for young or immature people, or just unexperienced folks. Cause usually self-confidence comes with experience/time, and when you're young you have all these crippling issues related to self-worth and stuff, so Saturn connections are a pain in the a$$ cause they really do make you feel sooo vulnerable and defenceless and maybe even kinda fearful.


It can bring a strong sense of responsibility - granted, but it can also take away the vitality, the fun and the romance of the relationship.
And that usually happens after some time, because initially it lies dormant and you don't really sense it. It's only when you really become close to the other person and start caring that the negative effects set in.


And that girl's post is really accurate, imo.
I think she nailed it.

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Gabby
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posted October 16, 2012 11:26 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Gabby     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Doux Rêve:
Everything's about Saturn lately.


I don't like Saturn very much, to be honest.
Maybe that's because my natal Saturn is very afflicted and I have tons of insecurities, so when it gets activated in synastry it's like the other person knows exactly how to push my buttons and make me go nuts.

It IS binding though, very!
Times and times again I've seen people being stuck - be it emotionally or mentally, whatever - on someone whose planets touch their Saturn and it's hard to let go. They often say that even when the other person has been away for years, they still cross their mind from time to time, and I can relate to that.

It's quite mysterious, because there seems to be an invisible tie holding one person to the other *but* at the same time, it's seldom a fulfilling connection. More like a prison, wanting to break free so bad but you can't, no matter how hard you try. You're locked. And the thing is, it's all in your head.. Like a psychological blockage or something. Karma, maybe?


*But* this is how *I* have experienced it. People with easy Saturn aspects may not find it so restricting/heavy/binding.

I definitely think that hard Saturn aspects in synastry are a great challenge, especially for young or immature people, or just unexperienced folks. Cause usually self-confidence comes with experience/time, and when you're young you have all these crippling issues related to self-worth and stuff, so Saturn connections are a pain in the a$$ cause they really do make you feel sooo vulnerable and defenceless and maybe even kinda fearful.


It can bring a strong sense of responsibility - granted, but it can also take away the vitality, the fun and the romance of the relationship.
And that usually happens after some time, because initially it lies dormant and you don't really sense it. It's only when you really become close to the other person and start caring that the negative effects set in.


And that girl's post is really accurate, imo.
I think she nailed it.


I agree with you about saturn, esp laying dorment at first...i still love it tho! I guess i love the challenge, and i've been learning and want to continue to learn how to tell saturn, hey please deal with in respect...im not perfect but im stil not that bad, if you dont squash me, ill let you keep me!
Just got to stand up to the little beast and prove your way, even tho its not there way is still ok! I think the huge challenge of saturn is learning to respect yourself and teaching saturn perfectionism and control isnt required to be amazing!

Thank you for your response, i do agree with you! I also feel the girl nailed saturn...ouch! LOL

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Dreaming111
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posted October 16, 2012 11:56 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Dreaming111     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Loved your links and this thread.
Thanks for sharing.

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Gabby
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posted October 16, 2012 11:23 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Gabby     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Dreaming111:
Loved your links and this thread.
Thanks for sharing.

TY, Dreaming!!!

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RedScorp
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posted October 17, 2012 12:41 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for RedScorp     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
The first relationship that comes to mind is an old friend. Basically, she was my first real friend when my family moved to the city I'm living in. We got along so well and we were great, honestly great. We've always sort of had a mutual crush on one another. Hell, I think I could even marry her...

But, before this summer, I think she...outgrew me. We haven't talked much nor do I know what she's doing these days and I'm honestly mad at her. The only time she tried to contact me was when I sent her a letter saying I was letting her go. She's rather young, any ways! I'll just give her time and maybe she'll come around after settling down. Aries people any ways,

She has a 6 degree Cancer Moon trine my Scorpio Venus and Pisces S-turn (so it's kinda like a grand trine).

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alove4edd
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posted October 28, 2012 12:13 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for alove4edd     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I have my Saturn 0.57 orb square to her Venus...difficult you name it: Distance, family, social norms... We also have her saturn conjc. my sun, and sextile my uranus. My saturn also conjc. her uranus and neptune. also is trine her mercury

------------------
Sun-Pisces
Moon-Gemini
Venus-Aquarius
Mars-Capricorn

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Got Gemini??
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posted October 28, 2012 01:04 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Got Gemini??     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Here's a HUGE thread in Soul Unions about Saturn in Synastry
http://www.linda-goodman.com/ubb/Forum10/HTML/000809.html

:-)

I'll add my reply here in a little bit.

------------------
Gemini Sun
Libra Moon
Gemini Mercury
Cancer Venus
Virgo Mars
Virgo Asc

And yes, I'm a guy!

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starmoon
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posted October 28, 2012 02:20 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for starmoon     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
[QUOTE]Originally posted by Gabby:
[Venus-Saturn in Synastry
My longest relationship featured a tight Saturn square Venus aspect in synastry, wherein I was the Venus person.

This is often known as the "unrequited love" aspect. Why? Saturn represents blockages and restrictions, which can manifest in many forms. Sometimes, the blockages come from external forces. Saturn rules tradition, so couples with this synastry aspect sometimes face opposition from either person's family. In my case, I was of a different cultural background than my partner. His parents were very traditional and strict, and would have never have approved of our union. Other external restrictions can include a mismatch in terms of age, social status, cultural background, or distance. Either way, there's usually something in the way of you being together.

Another way in which this manifested was through a withdrawal of affection. I never felt quite comfortable cuddling him, telling him I loved him, or making baby talk with him due to my fear that he would reject that kind of behavior. I censored my feelings of affection for him, and he did the same. He acted somewhat "fatherly" towards me, and I didn't want to risk his disapproval. Though he never explicitly told me he didn't want me to go out and have fun with my friends, he would often try to interfere with my plans if he knew I was going out.>>>


this is exactly how i feel! it is a perfect summation. we have venus square saturn at 3 degrees and i am venus. there is a 10 year age gap - i am younger - and we are culturally very different (i'm american and he's middle eastern). it's so restricting for me at times, like i cannot really be myself without feeling his displeasure, whether real or imagined. he is like a dad at times giving me orders and making me feel mature. we are so romantic and drawn to each other (venus-pluto both ways), but yet there is 'something' stopping us from moving completely forward with long-term. we've been together almost 2 years and neither one of us has even come close to saying 'love.' imo we will eventually not make it because he probably sees me as too 'young' despite being in my 30s.

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midnight sun
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posted October 28, 2012 02:52 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for midnight sun     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I had venus sq saturn with my leo ex
he was the first one to say the L word
I couldn't say it back it took a while
one time he asked me to be lovely like how I used to be!!!
Displaying affection was hard! I'm usually flirty(aries sun5th,libra moon11) but with him it was weird.
He definitely felt the restriction.
To make it worse my saturn falls in his 12th house. I discoverd whole lot of really privite things without trying too! I just came across and bomb!
Oh my lord,lots of insecurties and pain.
Before you know it,I was the enemy in his mirror.
He knew and got ****** off! I wanted to help him love him be there for him and tell him what a wounderful person he is.
I tried but he became cold indifferent "didn't care" like he told me. In the end, he started being emotionally abusive and I had to break it off.
It's his battle to fight not mine.

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blugrey
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posted October 28, 2012 10:59 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for blugrey     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
-

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Gabby
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posted October 28, 2012 11:16 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Gabby     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by midnight sun:
I had venus sq saturn with my leo ex
he was the first one to say the L word
I couldn't say it back it took a while
one time he asked me to be lovely like how I used to be!!!
Displaying affection was hard! I'm usually flirty(aries sun5th,libra moon11) but with him it was weird.
He definitely felt the restriction.
To make it worse my saturn falls in his 12th house. I discoverd whole lot of really privite things without trying too! I just came across and bomb!
Oh my lord,lots of insecurties and pain.
Before you know it,I was the enemy in his mirror.
He knew and got ****** off! I wanted to help him love him be there for him and tell him what a wounderful person he is.
I tried but he became cold indifferent "didn't care" like he told me. In the end, he started being emotionally abusive and I had to break it off.
It's his battle to fight not mine.

WOW! That sounds terrible!

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Gabby
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posted October 28, 2012 11:18 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Gabby     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by blugrey:
Double Whammy Saturn-Venus opposition. Double Whammy Saturn-Moon conjunction.

It can be somewhat distant at times - or at least, we have more "fun" if we give each other more space. But for the first time in my life I feel like I've met "the One" and every time I see him everything melts away and I can just relax and he feels like "home". I love being with him. I feel more connected and intimate than ever and I literally never felt in my bones that I could be with someone forever like this. Sometimes it does get a little too serious, but if we just meet friends and get out, it passes quite easily.


Awe, thats sweet!!

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curiouswoman
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posted October 31, 2012 12:34 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for curiouswoman     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Midnight sun...were you venus or saturn with your leo ex?

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Gabby
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posted October 31, 2012 12:39 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Gabby     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by RedScorp:
The first relationship that comes to mind is an old friend. Basically, she was my first real friend when my family moved to the city I'm living in. We got along so well and we were great, honestly great. We've always sort of had a mutual crush on one another. Hell, I think I could even marry her...

But, before this summer, I think she...outgrew me. We haven't talked much nor do I know what she's doing these days and I'm honestly mad at her. The only time she tried to contact me was when I sent her a letter saying I was letting her go. She's rather young, any ways! I'll just give her time and maybe she'll come around after settling down. Aries people any ways,

She has a 6 degree Cancer Moon trine my Scorpio Venus and Pisces S-turn (so it's kinda like a grand trine).


I bet you guys will rekindle your friendship...its funny how distance does make you temporarily think your moving on from someone, but then those old feelings come back to haunt you...there is just 'those relationships' that stay with you no matter how sure you are that they are over!

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Alma Sun
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posted January 03, 2014 09:52 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Alma Sun     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Gabby:
I personally like saturn because it keeps me on my toes! I'm learning and growing, trying to keep the other saturn persons thoughts in perspective...maybe they have a point?

When its my saturn it forces me to stop and think about my partner...his needs...and realize i need to love him in the way he needs, not my way...his way! I feel it gives me the chance to rise to the challenge, am i loving enough to mind of matter...love someone as they need so they are inspired to grow in love, not fade away because of being in love with me!

You nailed it

I'm Saturn and I'm experiencing what you described in the 2nd paragraph. I'm currently torn between being there for him & loving him the way he needs... and the desire to break free and run away. Feeling exhausted, lol

My Saturn/Venus/Merc conjuncts his ASC

------------------
"When I get sad, I stop being sad and be awesome instead." — Barney Stinson

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Gabby
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posted January 03, 2014 12:32 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Gabby     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
It's so hard but in the end what you learn is how to love genuinely! It's like you grow up through the relationship, I guess it's learning to love an adult like a mother loves her child, it's unconditional love and rather than just thinking about yourself, you think about them as an equally important person!

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jjj
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posted January 03, 2014 03:26 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for jjj     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I have had Venus (me) square Saturn (him) and Sun-Saturn DW (conj and opposition - I was Saturn in the conjunction) with 2 ex boyfriends. In both cases I felt restricted by them and couldnt express my feelings freely.

Now I have Saturn-Sun DW (conjunction - he is Saturn, and sextile) and Moon (him) square Saturn (me) with someone. I dont feel restricted, but we dont express feelings for each other (it is a forbidden bond anyway). His attitude for me has changed. He was very flirty at the beginning, now he likes to nag and critisize and pushes me away (we see very seldom). He tries to belittle and despise me. It might be saturn's jealousy of the Sun person. Our bond is deep, although we dont see often.

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ChildofVenus
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posted July 05, 2016 02:35 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for ChildofVenus     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
But how much Saturn is needed for a relationship to be long lasting?

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Randall
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posted July 05, 2016 11:49 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Randall     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Moving to Interpersonal Astrology.

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