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Author
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Topic: Help with pisces boy who asked to be on a 'break'...
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valentina19
Newflake Posts: 7
From:
Registered: Oct 2012
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posted October 23, 2012 06:26 PM
  
i am a pisces girl who needs help with my pisces boy. we have been together for about 7 months. the first 6 months were perfect. he wanted to see me all the time we were together every day. it was exactly how i wanted it to be. we never talked about us being together or 'what we were' it just seemed okay to go along with it and let it be what it would be. i never pressured him just let him be. he does not like to deal with any kind of problems. he went through something bad when he was a teenager and i think the way he dealt with that was to block it out and now that's how he deals with everything. he has never really opened up to me about anything serious. he is not a good communicator at all and hides behind jokes. i never really told him that i loved him except when he would say it to me which was usually when he was drunk and i would say it back. (i have a bit of a fear of saying i love you) but it was obvious by my actions and his that we loved eachother.
that was until a few weeks ago when he started not seeing me as much. he said he was just busy with work and that his feelings hadn't changed. but i freaked out and asked him about it and he completely shut down and just said i don't want to argue i don't want to fight. i said i was upset and it was hurting me every day thinking he didn't care about me anymore. i said if you don't want it to be serious just tell me. and he said he would have told me if he didn't. he pretty much ran out the car to get away from the discussion. he msgd me after and i asked him if we were okay and he said yes but the next day he pretty much broke up over msgs with me saying that i deserve better and he didn't want to keep making me upset by not seeing me and going out with his friends. he said he still wanted to be friends (he said this repeatedly) and that we just need a break from eachother because things were so full on so fast since the beginning. i was like a break or a break up?? he said a break and then see how we go whether we break up or not. i said okay i'll give you space and told him to take a few weeks to figure out what he want and let me know when he figures it out and he said thanks.
i assumed that was it, no contact so i didnt msg but he msged goodnight that night. the following days he kept msging good morning msgs, 'hope you had a good day at work' msgs and 'good night sweet dreams' type msgs. then he msgd me Saturday like 'are you going out??' and then later rang me up drunk at night to come see him and come over. i went and he just kept holding my hand and putting his arm around me. i slept at his house and we hung out all day together which was really nice and like nothing ever happened though a tiny bit awkward because we didn't talk about anything that had happened. his family didn't seem to know at all about our 'breakup'. later that week the same thing happened of him calling up after drinking and i saw him a few nights and stayed with him the next day at his house. we still never talked about our break or break up or our problems.
he still continues to send msgs, goodnight msgs and morning msgs and sometimes others. but he's keeping me at arms length and only seems to see me when he's drunk and then he gives in and tells me to come over.
i want him back and to make him realise i accept him for who he is and love him no matter what, i'm not trying to change him i just want us to be able to communicate better. i love the person he is and he has always treated me well. i would love for him to be able to open up with me somewhat but his way of dealing with anything bad in LIFE not just in relationships is to avoid it and pretend it's okay. he also likes to escape by drinking.
do you think he still loves/cares about me or are all the msgs just out of habit? how should i play this being on a break if i want to get him back? would LOVE some insight...
thanks xIP: Logged |
lalalinda
Moderator Posts: 2656
From: nevada
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted October 23, 2012 08:28 PM
Hello Valentina19! Welcome to LL  ------------------
"For all those who believe, expect a miracle.”
Linda Goodman 1925-1995 IP: Logged |
starfairy
Knowflake Posts: 88
From: los angeles, california, USA
Registered: Jul 2010
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posted October 23, 2012 11:00 PM
Check his transits. Also, Pisces are known for being pretty elusive. " Pisces is the natural ruler of the 12th house, and is ruled by the planet Neptune. Piscean energy is dreamy, mysterious, private, and secretive. Pisceans often have escapist tendencies, and require alone time to recharge their buttons. Like Aquas, they live in their own world. Unlike Aquas, however, Pisces live in a dream world. They can often be found daydreaming about their hopes and dreams for the future. Pisceans are incredibly compassionate and sensitive people who find the real world a harsh, cold place. This is why they tend to escape to their private dream world quite often; negative energy affects them greatly, so they need a break from life every so often to recharge their batteries.. At the same time, their desire to escape the everyday world can land them in difficult situations.
Pisces is a mutable sign, which indicates they are changeable. Pisceans are chameleon-like, and can adapt to new situations, people, and places very easily. This changeable energy can cause difficulties in their personal relationships.
A Piscean’s vision of the perfect relationship is often unrealistic and based on fantasy. It is difficult for them to find a partner who lives up to their ideals. Real relationships take work; they involve compromise, conflict, and responsibility, which are things Pisceans tend to dislike. For this reason, they tend to be attracted to unattainable (i.e. “taken”) partners and unrequited love situations. In these situations, Pisceans won’t have to face the “realities” of relationships, and they can continue fantasizing about and idealizing the unattainable person. In addition, Pisceans are notoriously indecisive and tend to have a roaming eye, which can make choosing a partner even more difficult for them. People involved with Pisceans in a relationship often complain that their Piscean lovers tend to disappear for days, weeks, and even months. When a Pisces disappears, he is escaping reality. Perhaps the relationship has gotten too “real” for him. Perhaps you two got into a fight, and the negativity pushed him away temporarily. Some Pisceans have several relationships going on at once (they’re mutable, remember?), so they may disappear to cater to their other lovers. Most likely, however, he just needs space and alone time to recharge his batteries."
http://astrolady.wix.com/astrolady#!pisces-the-disappearing-man/c1qjn IP: Logged |
valentina19
Newflake Posts: 7
From:
Registered: Oct 2012
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posted October 24, 2012 12:51 AM
I guess the best thing to do is give him space. But then I'm afraid of giving him too much space because sometimes I don't msg and he's like 'i thought i would get a msg' and it's like he's mad at me. But yet he doesn't ask to see me. He is the most confusing person on this earth!IP: Logged |
starfairy
Knowflake Posts: 88
From: los angeles, california, USA
Registered: Jul 2010
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posted October 24, 2012 01:36 AM
what signs are his other planets? Moon? Venus? IP: Logged |
anonymidarkness
Knowflake Posts: 283
From:
Registered: Aug 2012
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posted October 24, 2012 02:44 AM
giNeptune has been transiting pisces,I think it is draining pisces placements,I have my sun,mercury,venus,saturn in pisces and sometimes it feels like I have no energy at all.Just give him some time off,maybe he is dealing with some internal problems,but if he does not respond for a long time confront him in an indirect manner.IP: Logged |
valentina19
Newflake Posts: 7
From:
Registered: Oct 2012
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posted October 24, 2012 03:59 AM
i just googled an astrology chart and it came up with...moon is in leo
mercury in pisces
venus in pisces
mars in gemini
jupiter in gemini
saturn in capricorn
uranus in capricorn
neptune in capricorn
pluto in scorpio not sure what that tells u?
IP: Logged |
valentina19
Newflake Posts: 7
From:
Registered: Oct 2012
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posted October 24, 2012 04:13 AM
anonymidarkness - it's been 2 weeks now, i've been giving him his space not asking him to see him just responding to his msgs which he continues to send. how long do you think i should give him before bringing it up...like saying 'are we still on this break?'IP: Logged |
maira
Knowflake Posts: 1027
From:
Registered: Jun 2009
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posted October 24, 2012 06:29 AM
I don't have much time: disappear and don't contact him for three weeks, but only if you have it in you. Gauge the situation, at some point his messages should point consistently in the direction of resuming the relationship - you can resume contact at that point. Otherwise, call him in three weeks and say you needed some time too, or that you were upset - anything goes, really.IP: Logged |
valentina19
Newflake Posts: 7
From:
Registered: Oct 2012
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posted October 24, 2012 07:40 PM
i tried not contacting him but he keeps contacting me and gets upset when i don't msg him. i got a msg this morning like 'good morning to u too' and then like 'why didn't u msg me'. i don't understand how he can sit there waiting for msgs from me, getting upset when he doesn't get them, yet doesn't ask to see me and wants to be on this so called 'break'.
IP: Logged |
quinnlycanastro
Knowflake Posts: 227
From:
Registered: Jul 2012
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posted October 24, 2012 07:50 PM
Just tell him you're only gonna message him like you would do if he was your boyfriend if he actually is your boyfriend. Ask him to clarify if you're on a break because if you are then you don't want daily contact.... It sounds like he's pulling your strings... That's unacceptable <3 IP: Logged |
valentina19
Newflake Posts: 7
From:
Registered: Oct 2012
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posted October 24, 2012 08:36 PM
i'm so scared to do that i don't want to lose him and am scared that will just push him away even moreIP: Logged |
Dreamy_AriesGirl
Knowflake Posts: 214
From:
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted October 25, 2012 08:16 AM
Don't be afraid of losing him.
If it happens, then it will be to your benefit... I understand your pain, because i went through something very similar. Although he was a Scorpio, but with him i learned that if a guy do not want to see me, then its better to move on. Because for whatever reasons, he cant give you what you need and deserve. I also waited and gave space for that scorpio guy only to realize that he was just playing with me... I dont say its the case with you too, but its always better to clear a situation like that.yes, it hurts a lot to let go of someone you have deep feelings for, but eventually your life gets better. Its been one year that i havent spoke with that guy, and sadly or not, its better without him.  IP: Logged |
valentina19
Newflake Posts: 7
From:
Registered: Oct 2012
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posted October 25, 2012 07:21 PM
i know you're right. if he doesn't want to be with me it's better to face it now than later. in my heart i feel like he still loves me and there's a chance to make it work so i have to give it a little bit more time but i know the time will come when i can't handle it anymore and i will just say to him yes or no you just have to decide. i can't just go along with this msging me all the time but not seeing me. he needs to choose what's important to him in life and whether he wants to be free and go out with his friends or whether he wants me to be a part of his life.
IP: Logged |
Lindaland
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