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Author
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Topic: Scorpio man completely iced me out...
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Tiara
Knowflake Posts: 29
From:
Registered: Nov 2012
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posted November 22, 2012 01:30 AM
  
Thanks Linda...(-: I believe in miracles! IP: Logged |
Tiara
Knowflake Posts: 29
From:
Registered: Nov 2012
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posted November 22, 2012 01:42 AM
I have finally managed to listened to the song he has posted and it seems like a hidden message to me. "The content actually says I will never leave you and I will be back as I love you but for now I have to leave you and i will be back..."
I have a feeling that this is his way to ask me for time...IP: Logged |
zimzo
Newflake Posts: 11
From: wellington , new zealand
Registered: Sep 2011
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posted November 22, 2012 01:45 AM
hi im a scorpio man and if a girl dont txt me then i will just stop texting them... and if they never txt then its over for me ..IP: Logged |
Tiara
Knowflake Posts: 29
From:
Registered: Nov 2012
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posted November 22, 2012 02:03 AM
Hi Zimzo, does this also apply in a situation when you ask for space though? I had a feeling that even though he is asking for space it still makes him happy to hear from me however where is the line to be drawn though? He's ignoring me totally at this point. I dont doubt his love for me at all, but he is super overwhelmed and afraid of many things. IP: Logged |
zimzo
Newflake Posts: 11
From: wellington , new zealand
Registered: Sep 2011
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posted November 22, 2012 02:14 AM
just make sure he knows you still care, and still txt him because if you dont he might think you dont care to much for him anymore..
could be alittle dif for me since i have a pisces moon ...IP: Logged |
Tiara
Knowflake Posts: 29
From:
Registered: Nov 2012
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posted November 22, 2012 02:18 AM
I think he is similar to u. He needs to know that I care. Otherwise he'd easily assume I have moved on. He is super sensitive. At the moment it's very chwllenging for me, but I m sure this will make us stronger and somehow its happening for a reason...IP: Logged |
Haplesschild*
Knowflake Posts: 64
From:
Registered: Nov 2012
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posted November 22, 2012 02:32 AM
He's alittle passive aggressive? Issues aside, you don't deserve to be cut off like that. What kind of marriage would that be? Communication is so important, he's being really selfish.IP: Logged |
Tiara
Knowflake Posts: 29
From:
Registered: Nov 2012
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posted November 22, 2012 02:44 AM
I know, it is pretty selfish and very hurtful. I am used to him needing space and when we live together I don't mind it at all as I also need my space to be creative. However now that we aren't in the same apartment it's super tuff. He has depressive traits which he is working on though. At this point I really don't know anymore, I miss him so much and I just want to do the right thing for us and for me to be at peace. IP: Logged |
Haplesschild*
Knowflake Posts: 64
From:
Registered: Nov 2012
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posted November 22, 2012 02:54 AM
I have seriously dated 5 Scorpio influenced guys before ( dunno why, I don't have any Scorpio in my chart besides Pluto) and I do find them emotional and can be up and down sometimes. BUT it's all about consistency, if they go MIA and aren't stable, you give them three chances, and if three chances are gone, you then need to reevaluate the relationship, You don't deserve this and I think it's all about respect, if he respects you he shouldn't do this. IP: Logged |
Tiara
Knowflake Posts: 29
From:
Registered: Nov 2012
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posted November 22, 2012 03:23 AM
It's true,,,they are very emotional which has many good sides to it however can be very destructive as well...they just like pain too much for so e reason...this is the first time this happens so I am definitely going to give it another chance as I genuinely love him and I belief that such bond we have should not be given up on so easily but it's ally up to him now. I hear that they usually reappear after these disappearing acts so now it's all about finding my own sanity and let things happen....IP: Logged |
Astra
Knowflake Posts: 435
From:
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted November 22, 2012 03:35 AM
quote:
Originally posted by Tiara:
I am not sure if my reply has been posted...Anyway, I agree with you guys that I need to speak up. It's just so difficult though as he's not giving me the chance at all. He is blocking all forms of communication at this point. I thing also stepping back for me would be a good idea and just let him be, and once he returns which he will if he loves me like he says I can communicate all these things to him...I have definitely learn for the future though and like you guys said there are two people in this and his current behaviour is not acceptable. Unfortunately I have been very understanding and comforting towards him in the last weeks as I didn't want o be a burden additional to his issues he has been having but at this point I feel disrespected....yes, and the cold feet part is true. He communicated this to me but promised me to work on it. Is it a good idea to totally let it be for now and withdraw from him as well?
You should not feel like a burden. It's quite alarming that he is shutting you out already. He is your fiance! He should be able to tell you anything! When choosing a spouse, it is crucial that you pay attention to the way in which they deal with problems and the stress of life. He apparently responds by shutting you out. You will face many challenges later on as a married couple, and I doubt you want to feel as if you are fighting these battles alone. He is supposed to be your partner in life. You both should be able to work together and confide in each other. He may just be very nervous about getting married seeing as how it is a huge step, and this is perfectly normal. I know some people prefer to have time to themselves when dealing with a problem, which is fine, but he should at least let you know what's bothering him before going into hermit-mode. You need to tell him directly and in private that his shutting you out completely is really hurting you. Tell him that you do not like being kept in the dark. Remind him that you are engaged to each other and need to be able to communicate when there is a problem. Ask him if he's nervous about getting married, and reassure him that being nervous is perfectly normal and okay. If he is nervous about marriage, ask him to tell you about his concerns. Maybe he's afraid about losing his independence. If that's the case, work on a compromise. For example, he can have a guy's night out once or twice a week. I hope things work out. To sum up, tell him that shutting you out is not okay seeing as how communication is the key to any successful relationship. If he still refuses to communicate after you have this little talk with him, then you may need to reconsider being married to him. Poor communication is a recipe for failure. IP: Logged |
Tiara
Knowflake Posts: 29
From:
Registered: Nov 2012
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posted November 22, 2012 04:08 AM
Thanks Astra, this makes total sense. We spoke about it and he told me the reasons why he is scared and these include his first failed marriage, the company he recently launched and other things that are lingering in his mind. He is responsible for his kids and his financial issues are really getting to him lately. I showed understanding and I told him we will be able to get through this together. This was the last conversation before he shut me off....I have a feeling that it needs time but everything u guys said was correct. It's not good to completely shut off the one you love. He is going away for a few days. I am thinking to let him be and when he gets back to me I will mention all my concerns...At this point it may not archive anything good if I push him to speak and open up to me...IP: Logged |
4lifephrases
Knowflake Posts: 161
From: Auckland, New Zealand
Registered: Nov 2010
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posted November 23, 2012 07:08 PM
SO all this people who are going how can Scopio shut you off and how you can tolerate it. Two words for them : F*** O** Sorry but it sounds bit stupid and naive. Talking everyday is intense and it had to be balanced with less talking. Scorpios need to balance that but they are really bad at that as well. Part of the relationship yes where you communicate but part of it is that you love people and give them space and let them be individuals too. The reason Scorpio doesn't let you in when he has problems is because he doesn't want you to feel the hurt. It is easier for Scorpio to just deal with it without all panic created. Some people are very well capable of talking of their problems. Scorpions are clearly not. If I have committed someone to do something
"like I would help you in business" or "get married to you" and in anyways I can't do something for them. I rather wouldn't see them and ignore them until I have all the answers and solutions. By dealing with the same person focus would be on problem and not solution. It would remind us inadequacy in our self. If you really want to feel close try to solve problems with him. Give great ideas and do not focus on problem but positive things as Scorpions need that all the time. IP: Logged |
Haplesschild*
Knowflake Posts: 64
From:
Registered: Nov 2012
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posted November 23, 2012 07:42 PM
UM there's a difference btwn wanting space and flat out acting like they're dead. If he wanted space the CONSIDERATE thing to do is say 'hey, everything is full on right now, I would like some space to do my own thing for a few days/week, just letting you know' and I'm sure the OP would be perfectly fine with it. It's not that he's not talking that to her, it's the fact he didn't even have the decency to tell her beforehand and now is completely ignoring her, that is slack. I've dated three scorpio moons, one Scorpio rising, one mars, one sun before (5 serious ones, one more casually) and some went MIA sometimes, however the ones that were considerate all were consistent with contact, they didn't just disappear. IP: Logged |
StacyLewis
Knowflake Posts: 106
From:
Registered: Oct 2012
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posted November 24, 2012 12:15 AM
Honestly? Don't bother.Don't contact him again at all. If he suddenly decides to reappear, whether you choose to continue things or not is up to you. But if you want my advice on how to handle it? Just keep going and don't look back. He's probably doing it to mess with your head, or because he takes you for granted. If he suddenly pops back up again and you're all gung-ho about it, he'll think he can always treat you that way and doesn't have to respect you or treat you properly. Wherever he is right now, I'd let him stay there. IP: Logged |
Tiara
Knowflake Posts: 29
From:
Registered: Nov 2012
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posted November 24, 2012 01:50 AM
I must say that he did say he needed space, but he said we'd still see each other and speak, not that he would completely shut me off.
I am sincerely trying to concentrate on the Love we have and I am also trying to see this as just a phase for him to rejuvenate, etc as he clearly needs it however at the same time I feel disrespected as like you guys said a simple explanation would do. It's difficult to find the balance in this situation as I miss him a lot but reading a lot about Scorpios I start to believe that these behavioral traits are "normal", so I am trying to remain calm.
IP: Logged |
Tiara
Knowflake Posts: 29
From:
Registered: Nov 2012
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posted November 24, 2012 01:57 AM
4Lifephrases: What you have written sounds so much like him. What would you suggest me to do at this point? I mean would it be better to let him be totally and wait till he returns or contact him in the meantime to show him that I care?IP: Logged |
Haplesschild*
Knowflake Posts: 64
From:
Registered: Nov 2012
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posted November 24, 2012 02:28 AM
Don't have your life hang in limbo for any guy, especially one that treats you like this. If you reward bad treatment with more giving and love not only will he lose respect, he'll learn that no matter what he does, you'll still be there to shower him with love.  We show people how to treat us, you should stop trying to get in touch with him. You need to demand respect otherwise this behavior continues. I mean I think he knows you care, you don't Need to reinforce that, especially when he's ignoring you. IP: Logged |
lilithpluto
Knowflake Posts: 1523
From: pluto
Registered: Dec 2011
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posted November 24, 2012 02:37 AM
quote:
Originally posted by Doux Rêve:
I'm so tired of people who can't behave properly. Like, you're a human being, dammit. Not a toy to take for granted.
Agree!!! IP: Logged |
lilithpluto
Knowflake Posts: 1523
From: pluto
Registered: Dec 2011
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posted November 24, 2012 02:44 AM
quote:
Originally posted by Tiara:
I think he is similar to u. He needs to know that I care. Otherwise he'd easily assume I have moved on. He is super sensitive. At the moment it's very chwllenging for me, but I m sure this will make us stronger and somehow its happening for a reason...
It is just strange that you are caring so much that you take his sensitivity int0 your considerations but he does not take your confusion and sensitivity into his consideration... its kinda lopsided...... Where is his caring and putting in some efforts to make this work? Come on, he needs to show to you tht he too values the relationship and you... Honest.. you can't read his mind as much as he can't read yours... n yo are tryingso hard to prove you are always there.. what is he doing to assure you he is still with you? He needs to be more mature than this.. IP: Logged |
Haplesschild*
Knowflake Posts: 64
From:
Registered: Nov 2012
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posted November 24, 2012 02:54 AM
It's obvious he is partially doing his to see how much power he has over you...I mean he disappears and you're ready to welcome him back with open arms...?IP: Logged |
Tiara
Knowflake Posts: 29
From:
Registered: Nov 2012
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posted November 24, 2012 05:16 AM
It's true. I am really not saying that his behavior is right in any way and I won't welcome him back like nothing has happened. I will definitely have a conversation with him about this to make sure it won't happen again or next time we have to communicate better. I haven't contacted him since days now and I guess it is the way forward even though it is so damn hard... IP: Logged |
Lindaland
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