posted December 18, 2012 11:30 AM            

When you are in a relationship, your expectations can be ridiculously high, especially in regards to your partner’s honesty, fidelity and loyalty—your own faithfulness may be a little more questionable. Quite often, your dark side emerges sometime into the partnership (although partnership is not often a word associated with Venus-Pluto). Be careful not to let the power games ruin what is actually a good thing. The crappy stuff you see and obsess over is more than likely coming from within you, not him.

And when it is over? Regardless of whether it was unrequited lust, a single night of guilt-ridden passion or a long-term relationship, letting go is something that does not come easily to you—even when you are in pain. In some cases, it is the pain that reminds you that you feel, and the pain which you find yourself coming back for again and again.

posted December 18, 2012 11:36 AM            

"However, with Pluto, it’s a good idea to detach before acting on anything that seems like a threat. In my experience, reacting from one’s Pluto can lead to overkill and unintended consequences. It’s veddy veddy useful to remember that Pluto is like Plutonium, destructive and radioactive, and one can very well suffer much more from the fall-out. The best use of Pluto, ime, is to detach and escape a situation instead of duking it out. In a relationship, if someone chooses the other person, s/he didn’t really value you much to begin with, did s/he? So, why defend that crappy relationship through jealous outbursts to begin with?"

posted December 18, 2012 11:55 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by lilithpluto:
I have problems letting go but once i let go, they meant nothing more than a stranger. All or nothing. How pluto-nic is that!!

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posted December 18, 2012 01:26 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by sand:
“Pluto doesn’t “destroy” a relationship, but attempts to destroy what threatens the relationship’s survival. This is why jealousy is one of the prime indicators of a Plutonian relationship.”

"However, with Pluto, it’s a good idea to detach before acting on anything that seems like a threat. In my experience, reacting from one’s Pluto can lead to overkill and unintended consequences. It’s veddy veddy useful to remember that Pluto is like Plutonium, destructive and radioactive, and one can very well suffer much more from the fall-out. The best use of Pluto, ime, is to detach and escape a situation instead of duking it out. In a relationship, if someone chooses the other person, s/he didn’t really value you much to begin with, did s/he? So, why defend that crappy relationship through jealous outbursts to begin with?"

"I think at heart, Venus Pluto has a problem finding a balance between one’s needs and the other’s. With that configuration, I’d imagine that this would be even more emphasized. You might go from being utterly selfish, to making too many sacrifices for the sake of the relationship. The power plays often come in because one partner makes these demands in order that the other prove their love. Eventually, you come to a healthy place where you realize that this is inappropriate and unhealthy. You learn to walk away from that. With an opposition, I imagine you’d need to find a balance… "

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Bolded : disagreeing
Italics : only if Scorpionic/Pluto energy is not as prominent natally

posted December 18, 2012 01:40 PM            

quote:

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When you are in a relationship, your expectations can be ridiculously
high, especially in regards to your partner’s honesty,fidelity and loyalty—
your own faithfulness may be a little more questionable.

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posted December 18, 2012 02:30 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by sand:
Been thinking about this in particular. The Pluto is on my asc. So it is tied in with ego/self.

"It doesn’t matter whether what you want is free to come to you or whether it belongs to someone else—you can’t help craving it. You manipulate and play games until you get what you want—but have you really? Love and power become confused to the extent that your biggest fear may be in letting yourself be equal to another; only self-confidence will allow you to completely trust another."

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posted December 18, 2012 07:46 PM            

Relationships bring out all my insecurities.

posted December 18, 2012 09:09 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by AriesKat:
My issues come from people saying they want to date me and then after sometime and me agreeing they change their minds. SO then im left wondering wtf went wrong, what did I do wrong. so when I do get into something new my paranoia sets in because I start thinking when is this person going to change their minds thats where the manipulation comes in because I dont want to get played again so I attempt to control the situation and every aspect of it, it never works. I have no problem making people feel secure but I myself never felt secure with men.

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posted December 18, 2012 09:59 PM            

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Originally posted by VenusDiSirius:

Not ego,Sun is the ego.

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Uhuh!

If you have the Sun opposite Mars as a natal aspect:
You’re one of those people who thrive on deadlines and competition. The more pressure there is to perform, the more you like it and the better you do. You like opponents. They give you something to push off from, something to compare yourself to and compete against.
Even in the closest relationships, you don’t mind arguing and fighting; it makes you feel alive. As difficult as it may be for your partners, for you the road to intimacy is paved with quarrels. You’re not one to fear that a relationship is over just because you’ve had an argument — far from it! You enjoy the fight, but not nearly as much as you enjoy kissing and making up. And once the fight is over, it’s over. You don’t drag through the same territory again and again.
This need for engagement and competition makes you a natural for one-on-one sports, all types of athletic events, martial arts, or any other activity where your body is as engaged as your mind. You tend to prefer things that are simple and straightforward and can’t be bothered to try to keep up with convoluted or confusing people. You know where you stand on matters and can hold your ground.

The Astrologer (http://s.tt/16f0u)

Natal Sun opposite Mars. Frida Kahlo (01′ personified the struggle with Mars. She was passionate, sexual, dramatic and spent her life in physical pain. Filled with a radiant and explosive fury, her paintings showed a symbolic realism. Her art was her outlet and depicted in often gory and graphic detail her tumultuous life. The sexual aspect of Mars also played strongly. Both her and her husband had many affairs, and her lesbian relationships were accepted by her husband but he was jealous of the men in her life. The sexual nature of this aspect is again seen in the life of Judy Garland (07′ . Her father (Sun) was bisexual and died traumatically when she was 13. Judy herself was married five times. The battle between authority figures (Sun) and her desires (Mars) resulted in escapism through drugs from studio executives and managers, the boyfriends and gay husbands. This opposition even showed in her drug habits, swinging between uppers and downers.

posted December 19, 2012 01:09 AM            

I have no desire to control someone and I become resentful if they try to control me.

If someone betrays me, then I do become obsessed with revenge (nothing physically harmful of course), but even this desire isn't quite as intense as it used to be.

posted December 19, 2012 02:44 AM            

When someone is taken, I back off instinctively even if I'm attracted to that person although I have never been attracted to someone who is taken.

When I am with someone, it has to be IT or not at all. It's either that for me or not at all. I can't be friends with someone then start dating him.Doesn't work for me.

That being said. When I'm with somebody I can get a little bit obssessed, a little bit possessive and a little bit jealous. LOL I want to know everything about that person. I think of him ALL THE TIME, every waking and sleeping moments. It's like every cell of my body is consumed with him.... I no longer have control of my emotions because they because too raw and I know the intensity of it scares and confuses the other person. Yeah lots of painful feelings come on the surface, feelings of inadequacy, fear of losing, fear of not doing the right thing...bleh...I become a little messed up inside.

The funny thing is it when it's all over. there is no going back for me. I don't feel A THING for that person.

BUT NOW, it's different, with time I've been able to control it, to control the intensity, the imagined hurt that used to make me spiral uncontrollably into a dark place, the tendency to obssess about the other person is still there though, lurking...but I have a good hold on it...mostly because I have learned to deal with my insecurities

My obssesiveness, however isn't about destroying the relationship.It's more to do with MY insecurities that make me go nuts...and blaming the other person for not understanding me when I couldn't understand myself..