posted December 24, 2012 11:59 AM            

I have a trine from Saturn to Mercury and even though the aspect isn't harsh, I feel it can make me awkward and inhibited at times when I express myself. Also, academically it makes me feel like I am never good enough and can't do the right thing. My Saturn also squares my ASC and I have always felt that I'm cold and unattractive despite being asked to model and being told I'm pretty. I've always felt like a Loser with a capital L in so many areas.

posted December 24, 2012 01:20 PM            

I have Mercury squaring Saturn. I have felt stupid all my life despite being told I'm very smart, or very witty. That feeling has never gone away. One time when I needed tutoring in 5th grade for fractions, I remember my dad shaking her (the tutor's) hand and saying "Make my kid smart." That stung! -_- I make a lot of mistakes at work even though I'm new and beat myself up for it. I can't help it...I think of people I've met who are just four years older than me and graduated with PhD's in Geochemistry, or can have a conversation about anything because they retain information a lot better. It just makes me feel slow.

posted December 25, 2012 12:39 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by sweet-scorpion:
Anybody else have this a lot concerning work/academics/personal life?

I have a trine from Saturn to Mercury and even though the aspect isn't harsh, I feel it can make me awkward and inhibited at times when I express myself. Also, academically it makes me feel like I am never good enough and can't do the right thing. My Saturn also squares my ASC and I have always felt that I'm cold and unattractive despite being asked to model and being told I'm pretty. I've always felt like a Loser with a capital L in so many areas.

Anyone else get this with Saturn-Mercury and/or -ASC? Can you come up with any other ideas that make you feel like you can never do a good job or succeed?

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No, almost never and I have Mercury sextile Saturn. Pretty much the only times I feel like I don't stack up (and it's very rare that I feel that way) is when someone else tells me I don't,and even then there's always a point almost immediately when I realize that's stupid and that life isn't a race or a competition. Then I immediately snap out of it and dismiss those comments.

I think the problem is more that in general society has a misguided idea of what 'success' is, and then a lot of times people bust their a55e5 trying to live up to that and beat themselves up for it when they feel like they haven't, and project that expectation onto other people, too.

posted December 25, 2012 01:47 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by sweet-scorpion:
Anybody else have this a lot concerning work/academics/personal life?

I have a trine from Saturn to Mercury and even though the aspect isn't harsh, I feel it can make me awkward and inhibited at times when I express myself. Also, academically it makes me feel like I am never good enough and can't do the right thing. My Saturn also squares my ASC and I have always felt that I'm cold and unattractive despite being asked to model and being told I'm pretty. I've always felt like a Loser with a capital L in so many areas.

Anyone else get this with Saturn-Mercury and/or -ASC? Can you come up with any other ideas that make you feel like you can never do a good job or succeed?

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I have :

Saturn Conjunction Sun
Saturn Conjunction Mercury
Saturn Conjunction Venus
Saturn Square Uranus
Saturn Trine Neptune
Saturn Sextile Pluto
Saturn Square Chiron

Ascendant Capricorn.

Crappy childhood.Due to my insecurities I used to feel like the ugly duckling next to my school friends. Everybody had BFs except me. If a guy was interested in me I will give him the cold treatment,it was my way of hiding my awkwardness and incredibility that a guy was actually interested in me, plus I didn't want to have 'love-issues' like my friends had because already the issues at home between dad and mum were a lot to handle since I felt I had to be the responsible one, but at the same time I would secretly envy their playfulness, the happiness they exude whenever they are going out on dates, I wanted to be that care free but couldn't.

NOW am a different woman. Still carry some of my insecurities around but am different.

Academically, I was good, still am. I have a post graduate degree btw in a scientific field.Pretty good at science.Used to participate in debates at national level too.Very at ease now discussing my opinions during board meetings. All am saying, hang in there, things ultimately will work out for you. Saturn is all about endurance, perseverance, iron-clad determination, hard work,consistency in your actions, will power, honesty in whatever you are doing.Lead a life of principle and you will be rewarded

posted December 25, 2012 02:16 AM            

Always grinding and no matter how much knowledge is acquired, or physical appearance improved or job landed it never quite seems "perfect" enough.

posted December 25, 2012 11:16 PM            

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Originally posted by StarlightSmileSupreme:
I have Mercury inconjunct Saturn and have never been proficient in math no matter how hard I try. I also have low self confidence. Saturn makes a lot of aspects in my chart but isn't that strong by house or placement.

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posted December 25, 2012 11:17 PM            

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Originally posted by Kerosene:
I use to feel that way, with school work.
Omg I was so terrible at school, I hated studying and I could concentrate to save my life.
I use to feel so useless too.
I'm good at one thing and thats all I want to do, and thats art and design!
Op once you find your purpose, you won't even care about your imperfections.

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Thank you for sharing + your encouraging words Kerosone

I also have Mercury square Mars and my mind wanders easily. Sometimes bursts of brilliance, other times too scattered to get 1 simple thing done. Studying hurts sometimes.

posted December 25, 2012 11:19 PM            

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Originally posted by Padre35:

Have Venus opposing Saturn and that is a good description for the feelings.

Always grinding and no matter how much knowledge is acquired, or physical appearance improved or job landed it never quite seems "perfect" enough.

This time of year also heightens those feelings if one is single or unhappy etc.

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posted December 25, 2012 11:22 PM            

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Originally posted by sand:
not a failure but i'm never happy with success, which is strange since my moon is in tenth and therefore i should be happy with awards and stuff..

if i ever won anything i had this ritual where i'd go out to sea and throw it away. leodrama perhaps lol! but i don't know many who do that though i read about this director though he escapes my memory for now..

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posted December 25, 2012 11:25 PM            

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Originally posted by hannaramaa:
I hate Saturn when I feel like this. It's so unfair we can't appreciate ourselves how other people appreciate us.

I have Mercury squaring Saturn. I have felt stupid all my life despite being told I'm very smart, or very witty. That feeling has never gone away. One time when I needed tutoring in 5th grade for fractions, I remember my dad shaking her (the tutor's) hand and saying "Make my kid smart." That stung! -_- I make a lot of mistakes at work even though I'm new and beat myself up for it. I can't help it...I think of people I've met who are just four years older than me and graduated with PhD's in Geochemistry, or can have a conversation about anything because they retain information a lot better. It just makes me feel slow.

Sorry for the whining, it's just my intelligence has always been a sore spot for me for some reason.

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Wow - that first part struck a chord with me. It sums up so much of my life. I can never see what other people see in me. I always feel I see the opposite of what others see - they say beautiful, I cry inside and say, Ugly. They say successful, I say, Not good enough by far, so much more work must be done. Do you ever feel like for yourself, there's this horrible invisible bar held so high, that seems to come out of nowhere for your standards? I just automatically have extremely high and crippling standards for myself...

A Saturnine person's popular quote throughout life/what people tell them all the time = 'stop being so hard on yourself...'

YEAH RIGHT! I wish.

posted December 25, 2012 11:37 PM            

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Originally posted by sweet-scorpion:
Wow - that first part struck a chord with me. It sums up so much of my life. I can never see what other people see in me. I always feel I see the opposite of what others see - they say beautiful, I cry inside and say, Ugly. They say successful, I say, Not good enough by far, so much more work must be done. Do you ever feel like for yourself, there's this horrible invisible bar held so high, that seems to come out of nowhere for your standards? I just automatically have extremely high and crippling standards for myself...

A Saturnine person's popular quote throughout life/what people tell them all the time = 'stop being so hard on yourself...'

YEAH RIGHT! I wish.

The part about your dad is so sad. I'm so sorry that happened to you. Nobody in my family ever said I was dumb, but that I always had too low of confidence, that I was too shy, insecure, etc. ADD too. Whatever... No, you aren't whining. I'm the same way, my intellect is a sore spot too. I have an un-aspected singleton Sun in the Air sign Libra and always feel I have to throw my intelligence in somebody's face since my own self-worth and -respect is so nonexistent about how smart I am.

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No need to be sorry! It happened, it was a minor thing in life and nothing I harbor. I just remember it.

posted December 25, 2012 11:57 PM            

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Originally posted by sweet-scorpion:
I'm sorry you're dealing with this too. I have Venus trine Saturn and I also feel that my love is too intense or awkward [Scorp Venus] and especially that I cannot love myself and I am ugly. Saturn squaring my ASC makes it worse. Since Venus is conjunct my Chart Ruler also.

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Well thanks!

All I can say is eventually one does find a sense of peace in all of this.

posted December 26, 2012 12:20 AM            

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Originally posted by hannaramaa:
No need to be sorry! It happened, it was a minor thing in life and nothing I harbor. I just remember it.

I think hard Saturn aspects swing though. Do you ever feel superior and extra-critical of people? Wondering if this is due to Saturn or something else in my chart. I'll either feel dumb and awkward, or see myself as serious & superior, but rarely equal to others.

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Ah, ok I'm extremely sensitive to people so something like that would haunt me... lol. I'm sorry. I'm glad it didn't upset you too much though.

posted December 26, 2012 12:22 AM            

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Originally posted by sweet-scorpion:
Ah, ok I'm extremely sensitive to people so something like that would haunt me... lol. I'm sorry. I'm glad it didn't upset you too much though.

I really agree with you there as well. I definitely have that superiority complex that's been pointed out to me by numerous people and counselors... how I act like I am so 'above' others intellectually and with my standpoint on life. Doesn't help my Merc is Scorpio, very fixed and stubborn... but as you said, I NEVER have felt equal to others. Saturn aspect can make me feel naturally smarter than others but not in a humble way, more like 'don't bother talking, I know more, it won't help'.

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posted December 26, 2012 12:44 AM            

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Originally posted by anonymidarkness:
I think you have to follow the rules when saturn is strong in the birthchart,you have to work hard,there is no other option.You cant get through the obstacles by jupiterian luck or mercurian tricks.For example:I have never passed in exams by cheating,I have never been caught while cheating,I can invent all sort of tricks to cheat but when the result comes out whenever I cheat I always fail.Everyone get away with it except me.I find it quite karmic.In the end saturn always kicks your arse,you get what you deserve.

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posted December 26, 2012 01:43 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by sweet-scorpion:
Ah, ok I'm extremely sensitive to people so something like that would haunt me... lol. I'm sorry. I'm glad it didn't upset you too much though.

I really agree with you there as well. I definitely have that superiority complex that's been pointed out to me by numerous people and counselors... how I act like I am so 'above' others intellectually and with my standpoint on life. Doesn't help my Merc is Scorpio, very fixed and stubborn... but as you said, I NEVER have felt equal to others. Saturn aspect can make me feel naturally smarter than others but not in a humble way, more like 'don't bother talking, I know more, it won't help'.

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Same here, not on the equality part rather more all of that Scorpio (and Uranus squaring Mercury) means generally out think or think of something they have not thought of before.

Math, especially financial math, lots of problems, a real achilles heel for me.

Someone mentioned feeling drained after doing that work and it is a good way to describe the feeling.