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Author Topic:   Cancer man in need of womens advice..
Seeing Stars 7.21
Knowflake

Posts: 187
From:
Registered: Apr 2009

posted December 28, 2012 05:37 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Seeing Stars 7.21     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
This is going to be a little lengthy...

Ok so Im in love with a Libra Woman. We have been in a relationship for just over a year now. in mid november she moved back to LA, California. Where she knows people and has a career setup. We had met while she was back living in NY where she is originally from. For financial reasons it was decided i wouldnt move with her right away. we have been keeping in touch with eachother since she has been there mostly through texts sending eachother picture messages telling eachother we love one another and so forth. on Dec. 8th she texted me a message saying she hoped I was doing good. this sounded so banal and insincere to me like I was an acquaintence instead of her bf so I just replied thank you and she replied "lol" after that I didnt speak or txt her for a week and a half and neither did she. December 18: I went to txt her and she didnt respond after almost a day which isnt normal so DEC. 19: I checked her Facebook to find she has deleted me as a friend.. I freaked out and started txting her to see what was going on and why she wasnt getting back to me or talking with me. I started blowing up her phone with calls hoping she would answer and she replies with one text "if you dont stop calling I'm Changing my number bye" I am crushed I do not know what is happening and I have been going absolutley insane and freaking out trying to figure out what happened. I stopped blowing up her phone but send her regular texts trying to see what happened and explain I love her. now she is not getting back to me whatsoever.. so I made it even simpler and just said if you dont want anything to do with me just tell me and that will be it. I dont want to be strung along any more then you want me bothering you. but she still doesnt reply at all.. i know she still has her phone because occasionally I'll still call just to make sure cause I will here it ring and then she will forward it to her voicemail. one week went by and I send her messages to her phone talking like I normally would telling her about whatever and also saying goodnight and that I love her. I have not messaged her since the 26th.. Im thinking to myself that maybe she just needs space to think or whatever i guess you women need which I dont think as a man I'll ever understand (sorry) Im just hoping she will come around.. the main thing that is killing me is understanding why she is doing this.. because I refuse to believe that she is the type of person that can just do a 180 and sever all ties with me and move on.. this woman cried 2 times the last day we said goodbye in mid november, and cried again heavy when we walked out to my car so I could leave I rememeber turning around and then driving by her and she made me stop so she could give me kisses nd whatnot all the while she was crying.. lol kinda cliche like a movie I guess.. but I held back my tears for the most part trying to be a strong man. and I always told her everything would be alright. I drove away and she just stood there outside I could see her in my rearview mirror, it was sad.. moral of the story I refuse to believe she is the woman that just turns completely unemotional and decides to stop loving me.. with that said I dont understand why she is doing this and I am hoping some of you could shed some light on what is going on. When I originally freaked out I wanted to drive to CA and see wtf was going on, but I dont have her address . I was going so crazy and being so insecure (typical cancer man I know) I even was calling private investigators in LA to see if they could find her. I have relaxed a little bit and gained my faith back and am trusting she still feels for me.. but I trully dont know anything for sure. theres one more thing I have to mention.. as per why she might be doing this idk. but it just so happens that I did a bad thing and in late novemeber and early december I sent emails to girls online looking to hook-up I know this is incredibly sleezy but I never ended up doing anything with anybody.. God as my witness I have never cheated on my gf. thought about it? yes.. but never went through with anything. I know it was childish but I guess it was just my way of coping with being scared I would never be with her again. now if she so happened to go in my email and see the sent messages of me replying to the girls looking to hookup then I can see why she would do the 180.. but the thing is I dont know if she did. i check my recent activity and yahoo is so messed up it will say someone has logged on from CA,US but when I check the ip adress it comes back a city on the northeastern side where I live.. so I really dont know. and honestly I hope she found the emails because then atleast I would know something... if any of you women could please help a man whose heart is aching so badly please give me some sort of advice as im sure you can understand her just a little better then I do..

I never checked mine and hers synastry until just recently and I was pleasently surprised. I dont check these days simply because I dont want to bring astro into my relationships .. I like to be the judge on wether they work or not. and im not lurking or new or anything i use to be on the forum a ton a few years back just have been on vaction I guess.. lol

any insight on whats happening here and if she will get back in touch with me will be greatly appreciated. god bless!

here is our synastry but please if you have anything negative to say about the synastry please just hold it.. I dont like hearing bad things about synastry. me and this girl mesh quite well together. the only thing that she brought to my attention that i never looked into before is that we both assume things without being clear with eachother. another thing I should mention. her birth time is not accurate and I put noon down so I am unaware of her ascendent or house placements.


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happyaskings
Newflake

Posts: 8
From: Dallas, TX, USA
Registered: Dec 2012

posted December 28, 2012 05:51 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for happyaskings     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
My first thought was that perhaps she took the last text you sent the wrong way or she might have found someone else. Then reading that you were looking to hookup with other women online, there is a BIG possibility that she got into your email and found out and that would do it for me.
If I were you I would just give her space and some time and see if anything goes from there. Blowing up her phone is not going to help at all, but giving her time to think and miss you might.

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charlie
Knowflake

Posts: 169
From: los angeles, ca, USA
Registered: Jun 2012

posted December 28, 2012 06:27 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for charlie     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Been there and done that. With a Libra. That just disappeared. That's how I got into astrology because I had no clue what was happening but apparently, vanishing is pretty common among Libra's and from what I've understood most come back after a while.

Libra dude I was into came back after ONE YEAR but by then I had moved way along.

One of my best friends is a Libra and he sends me the most cryptic txts sometimes too. And when I respond I get a "lol" in return. I have figured out he does this to test the waters when he has something on his mind.

I know it hurts a lot (I'm a Cancer too) but my advice to you is to not txt or call her again. Ever. You'll get through it and when you are you'll be able to see her bs for what it's worth!

Oh. I'll take this excellent opportunity to AGAIN state my strong dislike for anything Virgo!!!!! And I'll never stop.

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Seeing Stars 7.21
Knowflake

Posts: 187
From:
Registered: Apr 2009

posted December 28, 2012 06:28 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Seeing Stars 7.21     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
in a matter of a few weeks she found someone else after being in love with me for a year? and what text are you referring to? the one where i simply said thank you" ?

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Seeing Stars 7.21
Knowflake

Posts: 187
From:
Registered: Apr 2009

posted December 28, 2012 06:34 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Seeing Stars 7.21     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
charlie. but I dont see her as a person who would just disappear.. we've been together for over a year and our feelings are very much involved. if she is just disappearing then I would have to conclude she has some major personality disorder to which I have been completely unaware. which doesnt seem to fit shes a pretty level headed woman. she doesnt have alot of bs about her.

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charlie
Knowflake

Posts: 169
From: los angeles, ca, USA
Registered: Jun 2012

posted December 28, 2012 06:38 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for charlie     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Seeing Stars 7.21:
charlie. but I dont see her as a person who would just disappear.. we've been together for over a year and our feelings are very much involved. if she is just disappearing then I would have to conclude she has some major personality disorder to which I have been completely unaware. which doesnt seem to fit shes a pretty level headed woman. she doesnt have alot of bs about her.

This may be so but I'm just saying that I've read A LOT about Libra's....not saying that she's the vanishing type at all but her behavior is rather....ummm....****** .

It's so easy for us to cling to unresolved issues! Especially when a significant other is involved.
There are SO many questions and no answers but the clinging is what hurts, not the letting go and drifting off with the tide for a while.

Go to DXPnet.com and read posts on Libra board. Might help somewhat.

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Geeky
Knowflake

Posts: 99
From: Portland, OR
Registered: Dec 2012

posted December 29, 2012 06:18 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Geeky     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I suspect she has moved on. She texted, "if you dont stop calling I'm Changing my number bye"... what part of that is unclear?

Yes, it was sudden and abrupt, but maybe her new relationship got very serious very fast and she just doesn't want a long, drawn out thing.

She left, you didn't follow. Sometimes, a lady runs off to see if you'll chase her. It's a childish way to ascertain her importance to you but it was probably why she moved on.

Out of sight, out of mind.

I'm not being hard on you to be mean. I am telling you from experience. Some of us just like to rip the band-aid off to suffer less...

------------------
"Most people would rather be sheep and have company than stand out on their own with antlers on."
— Tori Amos

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Geeky
Knowflake

Posts: 99
From: Portland, OR
Registered: Dec 2012

posted December 29, 2012 06:22 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Geeky     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Also, I think your synastry is not that great.

You said to "hold it" but this *is* an astrology forum and if you didn't want a comment on synastry, why post the chart?

------------------
"Most people would rather be sheep and have company than stand out on their own with antlers on."
— Tori Amos

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Haplesschild*
Knowflake

Posts: 278
From:
Registered: Nov 2012

posted December 29, 2012 06:25 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Haplesschild*     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Okay she sounds immature and a huge coward (ironic considering she's 11 years older than you and in her 30's). Cutting you off with no explanation?

Move on, she's not worth it.

She probably met somebody else and doesn't want to deal with you getting upset so she chose the lame way out (deleting you) and hoping you'd get the hint. =(

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Geeky
Knowflake

Posts: 99
From: Portland, OR
Registered: Dec 2012

posted December 29, 2012 07:04 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Geeky     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Haplesschild*:
Okay she sounds immature and a huge coward (ironic considering she's 11 years older than you and in her 30's). Cutting you off with no explanation?

Move on, she's not worth it.

She probably met somebody else and doesn't want to deal with you getting upset so she chose the lame way out (deleting you) and hoping you'd get the hint. =(


She is Venus in Scorpio so I can *get* why she just vanished. We burn hot but lose interest quick if things don't feel right.

It's not really a lame way out, it's a less painful way out. It works for some of us (like me), but others (like you & the OP perhaps) need closure and a long, drawn out process.

Also, we don't know what led up to this. Things may have seemed fantastic to him but maybe for her, not so much. Her texts seem cold... like she was sick of him. None of us know why.

But I agree. Not worth his time to try to think about "why" and the "what ifs".

------------------
"Most people would rather be sheep and have company than stand out on their own with antlers on."
— Tori Amos

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Geeky
Knowflake

Posts: 99
From: Portland, OR
Registered: Dec 2012

posted December 29, 2012 07:35 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Geeky     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Seeing Stars 7.21:
because I refuse to believe that she is the type of person that can just do a 180 and sever all ties with me and move on.. this woman cried 2 times the last day we said goodbye in mid november, and cried again heavy when we walked out to my car so I could leave I rememeber turning around and then driving by her and she made me stop so she could give me kisses nd whatnot all the while she was crying.. lol kinda cliche like a movie I guess.. but I held back my tears for the most part trying to be a strong man. and I always told her everything would be alright. I drove away and she just stood there outside I could see her in my rearview mirror, it was sad.. moral of the story I refuse to believe she is the woman that just turns completely unemotional and decides to stop loving me..

This is the problem right here. You are refusing to believe that should could be emotional a few weeks ago and then turn unemotional a few weeks later.

But a few weeks is a lifetime for a Scorpio Venus in love. She stood there and cried because you let her go. In that moment, she knew it was over. She just didn't have the heart to end it sooner. She was probably holding out hope (like those stupid movies) that you would magically appear on her doorstep. Or that you would stand there and beg her not to leave. But you didn't, and it's likely the feelings faded very quickly for her.

Add in a potential new person and like I said, out of sight, out of mind.

That's how we operate. My bestie is a Libra with Venus in Scorpio and she is just like me in that respect. We will be devoted and hang on for dear life if we think the feelings are truly mutual. But going to bed alone at night is lonely and we hate that... so ultimately, who wins is who is there.

It DOES NOT mean you did anything wrong so don't go over this in your head too much.

------------------
"Most people would rather be sheep and have company than stand out on their own with antlers on."
— Tori Amos

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Randall
Webmaster

Posts: 24218
From: Saturn next to Charmainec
Registered: Apr 2009

posted December 29, 2012 07:56 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Randall     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Personal requests go in Personal Readings. Moving there.

------------------
"Fall down 100 times, get up 101...this is success." --ME

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