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Author Topic:   Friend help
charlie
Knowflake

Posts: 195
From: los angeles, ca, USA
Registered: Jun 2012

posted January 01, 2013 01:54 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for charlie     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Would you "disown" a friend forever, a friend you've known for many years and know you can count on should a bad thing happen, if he/she always came with derogatory remarks regarding African/American or African people?

Wait! Ummm...Astrology.....hmmm.....he has mars in Cancer. I know 5 males w Mars in Cancer. They are all bitter and condescending.

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sand
Knowflake

Posts: 8659
From:
Registered: May 2011

posted January 01, 2013 02:01 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for sand     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
no.

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lalalinda
Moderator

Posts: 2839
From: nevada
Registered: Apr 2009

posted January 01, 2013 02:20 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for lalalinda     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I wouldn't disown them
but I'd let them know that I find talk like that offensive.

If they are a good friend, they'll curb it
otherwise they don't really think enough of you to try.

------------------

"For all those who believe, expect a miracle.”
Linda Goodman 1925-1995

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Lazyscarecrow
Knowflake

Posts: 969
From: Silent Hill
Registered: Aug 2011

posted January 01, 2013 02:20 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Lazyscarecrow     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Yes, but that may be because I am of African descent.

As far as the Cancer sign... it's a little odd that I have known a handful of Cancers who are a bit prejudiced, or either "elitist" about their social/racial group. Then again, I know Cancers who disown their group.

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charlie
Knowflake

Posts: 195
From: los angeles, ca, USA
Registered: Jun 2012

posted January 01, 2013 02:30 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for charlie     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Lazyscarecrow:
Yes, but that may be because I am of African descent.

As far as the Cancer sign... it's a little odd that I have known a handful of Cancers who are a bit prejudiced, or either "elitist" about their social/racial group. Then again, I know Cancers who disown their group.


It's true. They CAN be very elitist and snobby!!

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ail221
Knowflake

Posts: 2542
From: Mary Margaret Blanchard's home
Registered: Feb 2012

posted January 01, 2013 02:34 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for ail221     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
In the past I have directly confronted them as soon as they say it. There were occasions when I have taken both the low brow approach : While in hs, I punched my one of best friend's brother in the face for it, I was young and impulsive. On another occasion I handled it more vocally and directly asked another friend why did she say that especially when even her bf at the time and now (fiance) was from that ethnic background and she was a bit taken back it. I didn't speak to her for awhile because of it we were from a very tight knit group of friends, so it was more awkward for her than me when I didn't interact with her, she realized she was wrong I suppose.

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StacyLewis
Knowflake

Posts: 323
From:
Registered: Oct 2012

posted January 01, 2013 05:23 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for StacyLewis     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Everybody has biases and is racist, prejudiced and bigoted in one way or another, just to varying degrees.

So I'm like, "If you wanna clear them out...you might as well get rid of the rest of your friends too, and you might have a hard time with yourself, as well."

Truthfully, for that reason no, I wouldn't throw them over for that unless they joined a hate group or became really extremist about it, and started acting on their beliefs.

On the Mars in Cancer thing. I have that placement, and I'm not elitist at all. But I have very definite standards in terms of what I will or won't do and the treatment I feel is or isn't acceptable from other people. That's not elitist; that's knowing your worth and having dignity and self-respect, and I attribute that more to my Leo placements (sun, mercury and NN) than to my Mars. I do understand though that a lot of people aren't really very good at reading other people and can interpret other people's self-confidence and respect as arrogance or elitism, and somehow find it personally threatening for whatever reasons, maybe their own insecurity and lack of genuine self-esteem.

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violet7887
Knowflake

Posts: 1328
From: a thousand years of solitude
Registered: Jul 2011

posted January 01, 2013 09:25 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for violet7887     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
okay first off, I do not think a persons racist views have anything to do with astrology. It is the way they are raised. It is very very sadning that someone with an opinion like that did not have a sensible person influencing them and did not get a chance at better view or way.

Secondly, there is NOTHING more that disgusts and saddens me more than differences that we build between each other. It saddens me so much that people can not understand each other. They let negativity get in the way.

“All ideologies are idiotic, whether religious or political, for it is conceptual thinking, the conceptual word, which has so unfortunately divided man.”

¯ Jiddu Krishnamurti

^a wise quote from a wise man.


Although, i have seen it very less to begin with where im from, each and every time i have encountered any form or racism I cant help but question the person making the idiotic remarks. And they never do have an answer that makes the slightest of sense to me. I am usually very saddened by their lack of knowledge and wish they would get a chance to expland their minds and hearts just a little.

Now, regarding your friend, if it bothers you, stand up for what you believe or be true at least to yourself. Share your view on it with them and try and teach them something they lack in the name of humanity. Depending on their reaction, it is really up to you to decide how much the subject really bothers you. The point is, they should KNOW their thoughts are negative by being told.

Oh and pertaining to my first point, I am mars in cancer.

------------------
The love you seek, you will find within.

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dadevi
Knowflake

Posts: 70
From:
Registered: Aug 2012

posted January 01, 2013 09:29 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for dadevi     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
People I know who are prejudiced against other ethnic/religious groups are kept on a special "your just an aquaintance" list. Narrow-mindedness is contagious and I refuse to let that kind of crap rub off on me, let alone tolerate it.

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StacyLewis
Knowflake

Posts: 323
From:
Registered: Oct 2012

posted January 01, 2013 11:43 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for StacyLewis     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
*facepalm* Give me a break. Everybody has at least some stereotypical views or biases of prejudices. Just because you aren't riding around with a hooded sheet over your head, doesn't mean you're totally without them.

It's a continuum with varying levels of severity and everyone holds preconceived notions. The human brain is hardwired to try and make the work less for itself by searching for patterns or trying to categorize and group things and experiences - and that tendency extends to people.

I think anyone who says otherwise, is either lying or just not entirely self-aware. Hell, even in astrology people prejudge and form notions about people and their nature and motivations, based on their chart, and you see people stereotype aspects and signs here all the time.

Like...let's be totally honest here and get it all out on the table.

So I don't believe in stringing people up for what is a fundamental, universal human trait. I view it as hypocritical as well because I'm fully aware that I do it too. I don't believe it's a real issue or should cause the rupture of a friendship as long as it's not off the deep end - and by that I mean, if you see your friend join an extremist group and start strapping bombs to themselves...you might wanna stop hanging out with them, and start calling the police.

That aside, it's also laughable and silly to me too that people's biases always rub off on one another. How many of us know people we are close to who we disagree with intensely on various issues and that doesn't change over time.

Maybe in the case of a child or a teenager where they're particularly susceptible and impressionable in that way, but most adults think what they're going to think and don't pick up biases or prejudices they didn't have before, from one another like a virus.

I'm African-American, by the way.

In short? No, I don't think that if your friend Becky tells you from time to time that she 'doesn't like coloreds', that's grounds to end the friendship if she's good to you and you have good times together. I think it's silly and short-sighted, honestly.

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