posted January 22, 2013 01:10 PM            

Me: sun in Scorpio, Sag ascendant, moon in Cancer, Mercury & Venus in Scorpio, Mars in Aquarius, Jupiter in Pisces, Saturn & Uranus Sag, Neptune Capricorn & Pluto Scorp. I'm very new to all of this and still trying to get my head around it, so apologies if it's too much/ little info.

He is: Pisces sun, not sure of TOB but prob Aries moon, Mercury Aqua, Venus & Mars Cap, Jupiter Cancer, Saturn, Uranus & Neptune Cap, Pluto Scorp.

I am 26 and he is 23 next month and I would say that I am far more grounded, organised and mature.

We instantly hit it off - everything from same taste in music, films, attitude towards life etc. We both work long hours and so could go for a few days without seeing each other, but when we did we would chat for hours about life, death and everything in between. He often recommended films, books and music that I might like and seemed very observant as to my interests.

Looking back, I think I fell for him nearly straight away, although I don't think I really acknowledged it for a couple of months. I had a good idea that he felt the same way, from the way that he would treat me subtly differently to everyone else through to changes in his body language. All really subtle.

He is generally a very interesting mix of "I am who I am" confidence and chattiness combined with quite harsh self-criticism and a moderate degree of shyness that I think he just braves. He is very disorganised and sometimes his behaviour comes across as flaky and verging on rude - such as arranging for us all (whole household) to go to the cinema and then not turning up himself with no explanation until he turned up a couple of days later and said that he was really sorry but he'd gone away to visit friends for the weekend. He really is a genuinely nice guy though and seems to almost torture himself, as he is so eager to please but then does something like that and obviously feels really bad about it. I just try to avoid doing things like texting him as he doesn't reply (this is not particular to me but to all our housemates) and then agonises over it/ beats himself up about it and I don't want to make him feel awkward. He sometimes disappears for a few days at a time without a word but again I accept that as being his character.

When I realised how I felt, I decided to be a little more proactive in spending more time together and as a result we went for lunch on a couple of occasions and to a gig. We get on so easily and conversation flows.

I recently took things a step further. We had had a long evening's conversation and he'd opened up about having been anorexic in the past and other things that I felt privileged that he'd told me. I felt like I had the potential to help him see how great he is, so I went to his room, told him that I thought he was great and that I really liked him. I also said that I didn't want it to be marred by him feeling awkward or obliged to say something in return to save my feelings, rather something that he could just enjoy, so I said that I didn't expect him to say anything in return but I just thought that the world might be a happier place if people said more of the positive things that they thought and left pretty quickly.

He disappeared for a couple of days to visit some friends the next day (related or not I don't know) and then got back yesterday and said that he wanted a chat. What he had to say was that he thought I was an amazing person, many compliments etc, said that he had realised how gorgeous I was a couple of months ago when we went for a meal and he was so glad I'd said something. But then he said that he had a really bad track record with girlfriends and had been really hurt in the past (he's been single for two years, I have for three) by someone who didn't feel the same way as he did and he just didn't feel like he could commit at the moment. Cue more profuse compliments which made me think he was probably trying to soften the blow. He was also very self-critical - saying that he was rubbish with his feelings and couldn't deal with them and was afraid of falling to deep and getting hurt or feeling trapped (which I think are the two types of relationships he's been in so far).

I was a little taken aback as that wasn't really what I was suggesting, as I too think it feels to early to get into a relationship - it is what I hope for in the future, but I feel like I need to get to know him better first. I really just wanted to boost his ego and let him know that I would be interested in getting to know him better and potentially being more than friends. He said that he would like to get to know me better and he would like to spend some more time with me.
To be honest, I think at this stage I would be better just giving him a few days space and I have a strong prediction that he might be awol for a few days to recover.

I suppose what I would like some opinions on is whether this is likely to lead somewhere or whether I should just cut all ties emotionally (though still be friends)? I don't know whether I'm being let down gently or not. It was a really good conversation as we were both completely open and said what we thought, but I still feel as though I do't know how to interpret it.

I can feel it starting to unbalance my little bubble and my feelings feel very vulnerable. I'm well aware that he needs loads of time and space but I would find that much easier if I had some perspective as to where things might go. Outwardly I try to be the picture of easygoing, friendly, non-demanding charm and I have been so very careful not to come across 'too interested' but I'm having to work increasingly hard to pull it off. I feel like there is a huge potential to scare him off which makes me feel very helpless.

As I said, I have spent the last three years happily single and focusing on my career and in that time I've never felt this way about anyone - I have been a veritable island. In fact I don't think I have ever felt this way, not even towards my past Leo partner of six years and I thought I really loved him at the time.