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Author
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Topic: Not sure how to formulate this question so keep reading
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charlie
Knowflake Posts: 283
From: los angeles, ca, USA
Registered: Jun 2012
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posted January 28, 2013 09:04 PM
  
Gonna try and keep it PG...In my entire adult life I have ONLY, let me repeat, ONLY, been interested in guys where there has been an INSTANT sexual attraction. Now that I know my chart, and theirs, ALL of these moments, infatuations, relationships etc has involved the sign Scorpio somehow. I have IC, NN, Uranus in Scorpio and Pluto sq Sun and Moon and 99% of men I've been with has had a Scorpio Moon or stelliums in 8H. All of these ordeals have been just that, ordeals. They've been painful and Karmic. Now that I am a grown-up I'd like to start a relationship the other way around, as friends and then slowly move towards something more but it is SO hard for me to look at a man that I am not instantly attracted to , on a sexual level, and view him as something more!! Subconsciously I will friend-zone him and once there, he ain't gonna be anything else... I have just recently met THE sweetest Cap Sun/Cap Moon and he is SO nice but I can't help but wondering WHY those initial "sparks" I am so used to, are not there. My Pluto is wanting to DEVOUR something.... Can I be re-programmed somehow? Does this even make sense?? IP: Logged |
pirate7
Newflake Posts: 17
From: rio de janeiro
Registered: May 2011
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posted January 28, 2013 09:12 PM
My dear, love sometimes isn't explanable even by astrology...But well, if you REALLY want an astrological explanation, could be a planet on your progressed chart that changed. IP: Logged |
AstroNewb69
Knowflake Posts: 136
From: Ft worth TX USA
Registered: Jun 2012
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posted January 28, 2013 09:13 PM
I'm just sitting here thinking about how you mentioned "now that I'm older I want it the other way around" lol. I'm younger and want it THAT way.. I guess I'm damned until I'm older if that's everyone's mindset (which I'm sure it really isn't EVERYONE'S, is it?)------------------
Cancer Sun
Gemini Moon
Saggitarius ASC IP: Logged |
hikoro
Knowflake Posts: 243
From:
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted January 28, 2013 09:33 PM
not sure if this is astro related.
im young and i want it that way tooo....
building things slowly, getting to know each other, taking your time and then...making love. not the typical, lust-induced sex, and then, getting to know each other. been there, done that, dont care anymore. so yes...i think, maybe, as a society, some folks are just fed up with the fast and furious-instant gratification notions in dating. i know i am.
hard part is, letting the pressure slide, as in, not caring that everybody else around you is rushing.... i will still follow my own beat.
and, finding someone who is willing to take his time with you. i also want to add, as someone with plenty of scorpio action in the natal...
i think that there is a part of us that sees sex as a means to control....either the relationship or the direction of it. maybe, there is a point of going past that and seeing sex as something transcendental and sacred and not...as a means to an end. ???? IP: Logged |
Haplesschild*
Knowflake Posts: 612
From:
Registered: Nov 2012
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posted January 28, 2013 10:11 PM
Lust fades, a connection only builds and gets deeper. I'm a Virgo, 23 and I've never dated anyone based on lust so it's probably not an age thing? People can mature though, but it really depends on what you are able to prioritise (fantastic convo and comfort or instant physical attraction). For me, II gotta click with them, find them intelligent and interesting-it could be because I'm a Virgo and my Libra planets all want mental stimulation. Hot sex, and hot guys do not keep my attention. Superficial attraction based relationships are a waste of my time.IP: Logged |
Kerosene
Knowflake Posts: 468
From: Mercury
Registered: Dec 2012
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posted January 28, 2013 10:22 PM
I think a lot of people are like that op.. if I'm not initially attracted to someone I will friend zone them so hard before they even get any ideas. I know what I want.I don't think theres anything wrong with that, I think its annoying when friends start to have romantic feelings. Its actually very irritating because I'm not like that. I don't want to be friends with my lovers, I want raw pasion. I have plenty of friends. Usually companionship will happen over time like married couple which is the natural course of a relationship. IP: Logged |
Haplesschild*
Knowflake Posts: 612
From:
Registered: Nov 2012
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posted January 28, 2013 10:32 PM
^ I think the best relationships have a strong foundation of friendship. I mean they aren't just there for sex or for you to stare at them24/7 right? You need to get along, have lots to talk about etc? Besides, passion changes after a while, there's got to be more than that for a relationship to last imo. IP: Logged |
Kerosene
Knowflake Posts: 468
From: Mercury
Registered: Dec 2012
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posted January 28, 2013 10:47 PM
^
If the person and I don't talk or have nothing in common it wouldn't really be a relationship, thats just a fling..
I know exactly what I want, and were not even talking about looks.
I just can't start a relationship with my friends, the thought just sickens me.. Thats not how I'm programed. Thats like starting a relationship with a family member.
Passion does change and thats why I don't believe in marriage.IP: Logged |
hikoro
Knowflake Posts: 243
From:
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted January 28, 2013 11:18 PM
quote:
Originally posted by Haplesschild*:
^ I think the best relationships have a strong foundation of friendship.
i agree.
and i wonder if op is not feeling the sparks because op has not jumped the cappy yet...lol
as in, if op had gone with the lust first...those sparks would have soon followed. if that is the pattern that op is used to then the other way around may prove to be a challenge. add to that that plutonic/scorpionic people can be gluttons for punishment in relationships.
painful relationships....yay
healthy and good relationships...nay. IP: Logged |
Odette
Knowflake Posts: 1276
From:
Registered: May 2012
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posted January 28, 2013 11:37 PM
quote:
SO hard for me to look at a man that I am not instantly attracted to , on a sexual level, and view him as something more!! Subconsciously I will friend-zone him and once there, he ain't gonna be anything else...
WoW that is the exact opposite of me. I am usually not attracted at all sexually unless they go through a friend zone.. otherwise they just seem like some random good looking stranger, who I could care less about.
I only start to care once I know them.. I guess knowing people turns me on.. Strangers definitely do not turn me on - no matter how attractive they seem.
I've never actually been instantly attracted. It takes me some time.
The only thing I feel instantly is maybe curiosity and the potential of 'something' happening later on. I see sexual attraction as a Mars domain. Mine is in Capricorn and conjunct Neptune. Capricorn is known for taking their time with basically everything... so it makes sense.
I am wondering whether you have a more impetuous Mars sign like an Aries Mars... or maybe a Mars/Uranus aspect? IP: Logged |
Odette
Knowflake Posts: 1276
From:
Registered: May 2012
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posted January 28, 2013 11:43 PM
quote:
I think its annoying when friends start to have romantic feelings. Its actually very irritating because I'm not like that. I don't want to be friends with my lovers, I want raw pasion. I have plenty of friends. Usually companionship will happen over time like married couple which is the natural course of a relationship.
I think you'll find those raw passionate things don't always take such a natural course to companionship or a long-term relationship. It's actually rare. It's much more common for people to meet - get close emotionally/intellectually first... and then end up in a long term rel. How many married couples do you know with a story like The Notebook?
Seriously? Like 1 in 300 000? This is a very "fairytale"-ish desire... in my opinion. That's not to say you can't have passionate flings - if this is something you want!
Just don't have the expectation that they will turn into something long term. IP: Logged |
Kerosene
Knowflake Posts: 468
From: Mercury
Registered: Dec 2012
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posted January 28, 2013 11:57 PM
^ Maybe in the west, I've lived china for a 2 years and majority of the couples (especially the older ones) had arranged marriages. They didn't even have passion or romance but companionship can and does form.
Besides I don't need to to be with someone exactly like me, that would just get too predictable and unstimulating for me.
Yeah and usually these relationship don't last long, but thats just life. I don't need life buddy lol IP: Logged |
Haplesschild*
Knowflake Posts: 612
From:
Registered: Nov 2012
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posted January 29, 2013 02:56 AM
quote:
Originally posted by Odette:
WoW that is the exact opposite of me.I am usually not attracted at all sexually unless they go through a friend zone.. otherwise they just seem like some random good looking stranger, who I could care less about.
I only start to care once I know them.. I guess knowing people turns me on.. Strangers definitely do not turn me on - no matter how attractive they seem.
I've never actually been instantly attracted. It takes me some time.
The only thing I feel instantly is maybe curiosity and the potential of 'something' happening later on. I see sexual attraction as a Mars domain. Mine is in Capricorn and conjunct Neptune. Capricorn is known for taking their time with basically everything... so it makes sense.
I am wondering whether you have a more impetuous Mars sign like an Aries Mars... or maybe a Mars/Uranus aspect?
Yes, that's exactly like me. I think good looking people are a dime a dozen, and getting with a hot guy isn't hard, but finding a guy with brains and a good heart who has mad chemistry with me (connection, not 'lust' chemistry) is what I want. IP: Logged |
Lindaland
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