posted April 01, 2013 01:51 PM            

I've always had this idea, that I could never be truely happy unless I had the financial security I felt I needed. Meaning... I could never love, or be loved until I felt secure.

I came about this idea, while dating an Aqua years ago. I became ill, racked up many doctor bills, became unhappy because I couldn't pay for school and that at the same time. I truely believe that the relationship failed due in part to my state of mind involving finances.

After that, I had a string of failed relationships and heavy alcohol/drug abuse. I was not a happy person. On top of that, I had started my lunar return with my moon entering Cancer in the 12 house.

During the past two years, I've always said I would never get married nor have children of my own (using the excuse that I hate babies and am against marriage). However, as I'm beginning to get back on my feet (sorting out financial problems and putting down the bottle), I've began to wonder if not wanting kids and to get married was just a lie I told myself?

The other day, without even realizing it... I told my s/o that I saw kids and marriage in my future. So I wonder... Given my moon (Leo) in the 2nd house, and my Venus (Scorpio) in the 5th, could that be my only issue with children and marriage? Without financial stability, a way to support my family, I have no desire to pursue a relationship or more?

And how likely is it, that my moon returning to its natal position is helping me realize this? Is the woman who is stepping into my life taking a risk, or is she entering it at just the right time?

I don't mean to rant, and I realize this is my first post here, I'm just having a rough time attempting to make sense of the jumbled mess in my head.

-DS

posted April 01, 2013 02:12 PM            

So I guess It was more of a question of, does financial insecurity become a catalyst in my destroying of relationships?

posted April 01, 2013 02:17 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by DZScorp:
Well, marriage and kids definitely aren't in my future for a few years...

So I guess It was more of a question of, does financial insecurity become a catalyst in my destroying of relationships?

Let's put it this way. If I was a hobo, and I found a lady hobo to start a relationship with, would I ruin the relationship because I was a hobo?

---

posted April 01, 2013 03:31 PM            

Your Moon is in your 2nd house, so you derive emotional security from financial security. If you do not feel emotionally secure, this can certainly affect your well-being and relationships with others. It's like your emotional security is dictated by your financial security.

posted April 06, 2013 07:02 AM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by Randall:
Welcome!

---

Thanks Randall!

quote:

---

Originally posted by starfairy:
I think it makes sense that you are so concerned with material security..

Your Moon is in your 2nd house, so you derive emotional security from financial security. If you do not feel emotionally secure, this can certainly affect your well-being and relationships with others. It's like your emotional security is dictated by your financial security.

Lunar Returns represent a time of emotional maturation. When I went through mine, I broke up with my ex. The fact that someone new is entering your life right now is pretty significant! Check the rest of your transits! (Transiting Saturn in your 5th? Is it conjunct your VEnus?)

---

I actually don't know how to tell what houses the transiting planets are in =/

However, we were born only 7 days apart (both us have 2nd house moons). So, she's going through her Lunar return also.

We actually did some research last night. We met on an Astology forum (where I was before here). We both joined around the same time (progressed Moon entering 12th house), and made contact with one another (moon 0 degrees in a new sign, hers Libra, mine Cancer... and ours Mars 0 degrees Pisces).

Looking at our Progressed Composite, The moon was in the 12th house when we first joined the site, and we first contacted when it moved into the 1st house. Jupiter was in the 7th house, and Sun, Merc, Venus, and Pluto were all Scorp in the 3rd house.

It was a WTF moment. Both digging deep within ourselves to find some type of understanding during a critical point in our lives. But looking at the progressed composite, it just made since that we found a partner on an astrology forum while learning about ourselves.

We've now known each other for two years, have gotten extremely close with in the past 6 months, and we are coming together from across country to meet for the first time at the end of may.

It's just kind of weird how events line up I suppose.

posted April 06, 2013 09:47 AM            

That said, I believe finances are the biggest relationship killers (though alcohol is probably a contender, but then alcohol problems and financial difficulties often go hand in hand), so that's not unusual. Of course there's a difference between drowning in debt and being poor but stable...at least for some (like me). Others have got to have all the toys, so different strokes for different folks.

In any case, be advised the children are EXPENSIVE. They make everything more expensive, your bills can like double per child (especially if you insist on eating healthy, and if you don't you may find other expenses crop up anyway as a result, and then it's paying more for vacation, admission or babysitters, etc), plus medical (some mandatory, and it's not uncommon for them to hurt themselves or get especially sick), continually buying new clothes (at the very least replacing the ones they outgrow, and the older they get the more likely they're going to demand more expensive items, and may suffer at socially if you impose frugality on them which can add other expenses as well dealing with the results of that). Then there's gifts, rentals to keep them entertained (yeah, just try to tell them to entertain themselves, that's always good for a chuckle...and might generate more expenses in breakage, medical, ripped clothes, etc, in addition to frayed nerves). And gods help your bank account if they get into sports, especially multiple sports. Instruments for band and many other things can also rack up the bills, as can pets children demand. And accidents (and outright mischief) can also get expensive. And I could go on. Oh, and kids have a habit of ruining and breaking things which your 2H Leo moon would likely not take well (in addition to the expense of that as well). And none of that counts saving up for college or trade school (though you can be cheap and demand they earn their own grants with achievements, community service, and/or military, and I see nothing wrong with that myself which is why I'm not counting it, but many will judge you harshly for doing this). This is all in ADDITION to the normal expenses and emergencies of life.

On the plus side you can often get tax credits for them, but unfortunately it's not uncommon for parents to lose it all trying to make up for all they've spent already (barely making a dent in the debt), and I've heard enough share about how spouses got ridiculous about it (my favorite was a husband who spent the entire tax refund, and then some, on monster tires for his truck when they were already drowning in debt, and to make it even better he had to sell the truck with the monster tires less than a year later to deal with the crushing debt).