Author
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Topic: scorpios
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Scorpiobri11987 Newflake Posts: 23 From: Washington, DC, USA Registered: Mar 2012
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posted April 08, 2013 09:55 PM
I am an exceptional person. I don’t say this because I think I am better than anyone. I say this because I feel that I have the ability to view people’s souls. To see the inside of them, to see what they truly are… the good inside. Do I believe that there are bad people in the world? Absolutely. Do I see that people are born bad? No. I see that the events in someone’s life can influence them in a way that makes it to where the choices they make reflect how they fell about themselves. I see that other people have an impact on how we view ourselves. I look at myself and see the influence that others play on my self-image, something as simple as a compliment, or something as detrimental as an insult and how much of an impact it can make on me. I am only human. I say I am exceptional because I have been blessed/cursed with feelings. Feeling good, feeling bad, and feeling intense. It is my blessing, it is my curse. I sit in my room and pass my time coping with the realities of my own world, sometimes wishing for an escape from that reality. When I drink I get an escape, I can feel numb. When I am high, I can escape, I can think of things in such a detached manner it feels as though I am floating above myself and that it doesn’t matter for that moment. When I am having sex, I can escape but only briefly, because I have been blessed with feeling someone from the inside while in coitus. It becomes a dangerous situation in which I can separate myself and leave my own world, but I get caught in the world of the other person and what they are feeling or what they are not feeling even if for that moment. When I listen to music, I feel it with all of my being. Like I am in the music and it is the music that without words can describe what I am feeling in any given moment. The riff of a guitar, the notes of a flute, the shrill pitch in a singer’s voice, and I am carried away but all at one time made to remember and to realize the world that I am living in. I feel. I am because I feel. Others will never truly understand to the extent that I feel No extreme highs, no extreme lows, just too much feeling all together. No one to understand the feelings. Swimming alone in the pond. Flying alone in the sky, walking alone in the woods. The only one. I feel so alone. Why are my feelings so intense, and so attached? Why must I suffer this existence and torture myself with this. The passion and intensity are too much. AM I really the only one?IP: Logged |
Florett Knowflake Posts: 56 From: Netherlands Registered: May 2012
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posted April 09, 2013 02:39 PM
Hi,Your story touched me. It is very brave to bring out so much of yourself. Like a triple water I'm very sensitive to impressions. I look at the world in a way how to be in control while shielding off myself. Afraid to be touched. I’ve noticed that I am able to absorb feelings, even thoughts. This is expressed in a friendly relation with animals. These natural beings are honest friends. Sure I try to use such sensitivity and intensity for my benefit. For that reason I can enjoy beautiful music and the beautiful things that life gives me. To answer your question, I would say: You're not the only one! -- Scorpio sun, Scorpio ascendant, Pisces moon IP: Logged |
Scorpiobri11987 Newflake Posts: 23 From: Washington, DC, USA Registered: Mar 2012
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posted April 09, 2013 03:10 PM
Thank you for reading this. I believe that too often times others try to hide how they feel and deny it, when I am not able to do such things, and this in itself has outcasted me amongst others. I am a scorpio sun in the 8th house, cancer moon in 4th house with venus in the 8th house and pluto in scorpio. How do you deal with the feelings?IP: Logged |
Florett Knowflake Posts: 56 From: Netherlands Registered: May 2012
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posted April 09, 2013 05:12 PM
A while ago I read the following:"To you, Scorpio, I give a very difficult task. You will have the ability to know the minds of men, but I do not permit you to speak about what you learn. Many times, you will be pained by what you see and, in your pain, will turn away from Me. You will forget that it is not I but the perversion of My Idea that is causing you pain. You will see so much of man that you will come to know him as an animal and wrestle so much with his animal instincts in yourself, that you will lose your way. But, when you finally come back to me, Scorpio, I have for you the supreme gift of Purpose." ...And Scorpio stepped back into place. " I recognize the outcasting aspect and people’s remarks feelings as well, but in my experience a little bit of humor often takes a bit of that pain away …
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Maelstrom Knowflake Posts: 397 From: Small, much fought over European island Registered: Oct 2012
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posted April 10, 2013 06:10 AM
quote: Originally posted by Florett: A while ago I read the following:"To you, Scorpio, I give a very difficult task. You will have the ability to know the minds of men, but I do not permit you to speak about what you learn. Many times, you will be pained by what you see and, in your pain, will turn away from Me. You will forget that it is not I but the perversion of My Idea that is causing you pain. You will see so much of man that you will come to know him as an animal and wrestle so much with his animal instincts in yourself, that you will lose your way. But, when you finally come back to me, Scorpio, I have for you the supreme gift of Purpose." ...And Scorpio stepped back into place. " I recognize the outcasting aspect and people’s remarks feelings as well, but in my experience a little bit of humor often takes a bit of that pain away …
That is beautiful, Florett...where did you find this passage? IP: Logged |
its_aqua Knowflake Posts: 322 From: Mars Registered: Nov 2012
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posted April 10, 2013 07:00 AM
quote: Originally posted by Florett: Hi,Your story touched me. It is very brave to bring out so much of yourself. Like a triple water I'm very sensitive to impressions. I look at the world in a way how to be in control while shielding off myself. Afraid to be touched. I’ve noticed that I am able to absorb feelings, even thoughts. This is expressed in a friendly relation with animals. These natural beings are honest friends. Sure I try to use such sensitivity and intensity for my benefit. For that reason I can enjoy beautiful music and the beautiful things that life gives me. To answer your question, I would say: You're not the only one! -- Scorpio sun, Scorpio ascendant, Pisces moon
I love animals and children so much. Their purity and innocence make me calm and make me see the beauty of this world Scorpio/Plutonian influences can be very hard, I have Sun in Aqua in the 8th house, exactly quintile my Pluto in Scorpio, my Pluto makes aspects to almost every planet in my chart. I feel like I carry an intense burden that I can't express/reveal. I agree with you that there are bad people, but circumstances made them bad (I dont believe this though for anyone who hurts children/animals) Drinking and getting high makes me feel numb too. It's so weird that all my breezy/airy planets are touched by Pluto. It's like I'm in a constant inner battle. IP: Logged |
Florett Knowflake Posts: 56 From: Netherlands Registered: May 2012
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posted April 10, 2013 12:56 PM
quote: Originally posted by Maelstrom: That is beautiful, Florett...where did you find this passage?
The whole story you can find here ... http://www.linda-goodman.com/ubb/Forum7/HTML/006342.html IP: Logged |
crabbypatty Knowflake Posts: 732 From: Registered: Apr 2009
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posted April 10, 2013 10:07 PM
Scorpiobri...you are soooooo not alone. I too am a Scorpio with a Cancer moon. Most of my childhood and young adulthood was spent suffering from at least a low grade depression, stemming from feelings of not belonging, feelings of low self esteem, dismay at the general state of the world, hopelessness, you name it I felt it. Life got better when I got busy helping othrrs...even in my own small way. Feeling people like us need to escape on a daily basis ..and always will. But the key to fulfillment...I think...is to help those in need...in between periods of escape. I now feel like the rest of my life is slated for somethimg bigger than me. Hope you find something that captures your soul and gives it the kick in the butt I am talking about.IP: Logged |
Scorpiobri11987 Newflake Posts: 23 From: Washington, DC, USA Registered: Mar 2012
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posted April 10, 2013 11:31 PM
Thank you...I think I am not so much in my feelings when I am able to keep myself busy. I just have these moments though, and it just really gets to me sometimes, because it is like the reality of everything just comes crashing in at one time. When I am able to take it little by little and have little escapes here and there throught the day it is better, even if it just means going and sititng somewhere and smoking a cigarette and looking around for 20 minutes. I really need more alone time than anyone I know.IP: Logged | |