Posts: 45
From: The Water World
Registered: May 2011

posted April 09, 2013 09:40 PM            

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Ok, so it's my mother. Her Sun (and Mercury, same degree) are opposite Pluto (by 2 degrees). She is soooome kind of controlling. She has to have everything exactly her way, and she will freak out if it doesn't go as she plans. Her Pluto is in Leo, so this makes her feel the need to let everyone see this side of her. Then her Sun/Mercury are in Aquarius, so she's crazy stubborn on top of things. Not to mention her Mars in Aries in the 1st, and her progressed sun in Aries.

I was thinking about trying to talk to her about this. She believes in the validity of astrology, and takes a real interest when I talk about it, although she doesn't know much about it. What do you guys think would be the best way to go about talking to her about this? How do I tell her that she can't just freak out on people and expect them not to freak out on her and/or leave her life? This is stressing me out as I have to live with her. I'm a 27 degree Pisces sun/mercury, so I'm super sensitive. Although my Mars is in Aquarius and Progressed sun is in Aries, so I fight back when needed, but I'm still very easily shaken by explosive personalities.

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Posts: 121
From:
Registered: Mar 2013

posted April 09, 2013 10:44 PM            

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Don't.

Just nod patiently and then go off and do what you wanna do, anyway. Trying to lecture her or argue with her will just lead to a bunch of hostility and an awkward situation anyway.

That's pretty much the way to handle all control freaks. Nod patiently, then turn right around and do what you originally planned on doing anyway, unless they're armed, then it's a good idea to do exactly what they say.

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Posts: 45
From: The Water World
Registered: May 2011

posted April 09, 2013 10:51 PM            

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Oy. You're right. But I mean, this kind of behavior really burns me up inside. I am a champion of equality and when she starts treating others (including myself) unfairly, I feel the need to stand up to the injustice. I guess I have a bit of a temper myself... I can only take so much of it. :/

But yeah, you're right. I need to just let her do what she feels she needs to do and soon enough I'll be out of this situation. I just see her digging her own isolated hole to live in... she acts like that and then wonders why no one sticks around in her life, only making her feel the need to hold on to what she hasn't lost even more.

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Posts: 115
From: Atlanta. Georgia, United States
Registered: Jan 2013

posted April 09, 2013 10:53 PM            

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My mom is like this except that's it's her mars in Pisces opposite her Pluto in Virgo. She is Aries Sun/Moon as well. She absolutely squashes my ideas through guilt tripping, teasing, and just sheer force. When she doesn't get her way, she boils over and goes off on a tangent about how I'm too independent and no one cares what she thinks yet, she overrides my opinion/freedom of expression any way she can.
i handle her behavior by simply ignoring her. It usually shuts her up. =P

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Posts: 998
From:
Registered: Aug 2012

posted April 09, 2013 11:16 PM            

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Your mars may annoy her pluto. I have an aqua mars as well and my rebel attitude usually annoys people with leo placements. I have got sun square pluto and speaking from my own experience you should stand up for yourself. The more you ignore her the more she will try to control you. Defeat her in her own game if you can. Just show her that you respect yourself. I think she can sense that you are easily shaken by explosive personalities. When she is in good mood generate a chart and interpretations for her, don’t tell her anything, just let her read them. She may realise it on her own after reading Sun opp. pluto description. That would be the best way to try to make her correct her attitude.

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Posts: 205
From:
Registered: Mar 2013

posted April 09, 2013 11:57 PM            

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You can't change anyone but yourself! Getting others to try to change to make you happy never works for long.

The only thing that will get someone to change their own behavior is when they realize that it's not working for them anymore. Sometimes when you change, that gets their attention, but only IF your change is TRUE and not just a way to try and manipulate another person.

So what can you do to make yourself happier that doesn't require your mom to change? Put your energy there. Does it mean graduatings sooner? Getting a second job? Sharing an apartment with a friend?

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Posts: 45
From: The Water World
Registered: May 2011

posted April 10, 2013 05:43 AM            

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Yeah there is no changing her. I went in there and told her that I knew why she freaked out on me today. The Sun and Mars current transit through Aries is conjunct both of our progressed Sun (1 degree). I'd never even realized that we both have the same exact degree of a progressed Sun. o_O Not to mention her progressed Sun is right on top of her natal Mars in Aries. SO yeah, I told her all of that, and I could tell she was still bitter that I stood up to her earlier, so that was all I said. I rattled it off really quickly and that was that. I think this tension will always exist between us. I'm just going to have to deal with it for the most part, just ignore her. When she gets really bad, I'll stand up for myself. There is really no fixing this. :/

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