Registered: Apr 2013
posted April 14, 2013 12:17 PM
I'm experiencing a really difficult relationship (of sorts) with a guy who's married. I'm in a long term relationship too, though I've been struggling with my partner this past year (and I've discussed this topic with him in a "broad brush strokes" sort of way so at least it's out in the open...). Nothing physical has occurred between me and the married guy, but I'm obsessed with him and have fantasies about having sex with him, um, a lot (my moon is in Pisces and his Neptune is conjunct my 12th house sun..AND his venus (which is opposite neptune natally) is conjunct my 5th house mars in aries (opposite uranus natally). Oddly enough, I think his Saturn in opposition to mine is a big part of the draw. He has a good job in a career field that I gave up in order to pursue other interests, and I feel like I haven't lived up to my potential as I approach the midlife crisis point of 40...Being around him reminds me of that, but not in an entirely bad way, because it also motivates me to try harder. The best strategy I've found to deal with all these energies is to write about it, which is also the field I'm trying to break into. Each time we're around each other is completely different and sometimes bizarre. We have limited ability to communicate verbally, so we onbly communicate through body language, gestures, and actions, which are subject to varying interpretations. It's almost like we're scared of each other (I kind of am....I feel really strong emotions and don't want to do anything irreparable).
With his neptune conjucting my sun, I can't form a stable opinion of him...he morphs between two people from my past, one who was a sleazebag who really hurt me, and an ex-boyfriend who I hurt...and then sometimes I idealize him too, even though he is acting questionable behind his wife's back.
So I've worked out a half-fictitious story plot and I'm wondering if it might actually reflect his inner conflicts based on his chart. I know this is highly speculative, but I was just curious about what you guys (who know more about astrology) thought. In real life, his wife died at a young age from a chronic illness. I saw him speak at a 10 yr memorial function and oddly, he did not refer to her by name or mention that she had been his wife. It struck me as really weird, and I couldn't figure out if he was still really wounded from it and was trying to distance himself emotionally b/c he didn't want to show that side of himself (his moon is square his mars). In my story, it turns out that he was having an affair and the wife found out about it just prior to her diagnosis. He never forgave himself because he felt responsible for her illness (Saturn), which, now years later, causes him to seek out women, flirt with them, and break it off suddenly to prove his devotion to his deceased wife. What do you guys think? Do you see any other trends that would reflect a hidden side, other conflicts, etc? I also thought that he saw me as some sort of manifestation of his deceased wife because in the beginning, he wouldn't pay any attention to me when we were around each other, but when I was getting ready to leave he'd come after me or make an effort to say thing ("goodbye" issues). I looked up her birthday and she turned out to be an Aries. I'm not very Aries at all but my mars is in Aries and I'm very Aries in the context that we see each other, so there might be a little something karmic here too. Here are the links to his chart and our synastry