posted May 15, 2013 11:33 AM            

But for the last three or so days I have been SO tired, almost felt like it did when I had quite severe iron defenciy (Mars-Neptune is symbolic of this btw and I have the natal conjunction).
I couldn´t keep my eyes open, and everything felt like slowed down, sluggish, almost like in those dreams I sometimes have that feel more like astral travel than surreal dreams.

anyway, on top of that I felt like I have been crying a lot. Yes, I saw "The Notebook" for the first time in my life, but that was not it. Or not just it. (if at all, I cried inside most of it though)
But despite me unable to remember my dreams, my sleep was not relaxed. I slept enough last night, but was so exhausted this morning.

It is not just physical, emotional stuff keeps being dragged up. I am not even really conscious about WHAT sort of stuff. Bits here and bits there. But it feels like my subconsciousness has been busy "purging" a lot away.

At the same time I felt never more certain about my personal path, about what needs to be done, what needs to change, and that the decisions I made half a year ago was the absolute right one.

And this morning I was waking up obviously having had an astrological realization in my sleep.

Tr Neptune is on 5 Pisces, Tr Venus was on 5 Gemini.
Both were targeting my natal Mars on 5 Sagittarius in my 12th house.

however, this is not all. my natal Mars is the focal point of a Thor`s Hammer in my chart of:

Chiron on 20 aries square Vertex/ Eros/Sun/Moon-mp on 21 Cancer, and both sesisquare Mars on 5 Sag.

Of course it means that the Tr Venus was on the empty leg, the near midpoint of that natal square to my Chiron.

Oh btw Chiron in my 4th house, Vertex in 8th, Mars in 12th.

posted May 15, 2013 01:00 PM            

I had that one a few years ago, worst experience of my life! But it also squared Pluto, so that magnified things. It was awful, I was extremely apathetic and depressed and had to take medication for it. Gosh, a nightmare.

I hope it'll be easier for you, though!

posted May 15, 2013 03:42 PM            

But no choice there, I should get on good terms with that energy, as it stays with me for 2 years, and then it will square my ASC and Neptune and NN, while Saturn will transit over my Mars, ASC, Neptune, NN.

As a matter of fact I dread the Saturn-transit even more. Cause in my memory the worst transits I ever experienced were squares and oppositions of Saturn to my Sag-stellium and Moon.

posted May 15, 2013 03:47 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by anonymidarkness:
I’ve read that natal Mars-Neptune may attract stalkers, transit mars-neptune activates it I think so be careful. Neptune transits are really tiresome, transit neptune has been conjuncting my sun, mercury, saturn and venus and I don’t have a clue about where my life is going.

---

Never heard that about Neptune and stalkers. Though it makes sense with the greater-than-life-images assosicated with Neptune.
I do think however ther needs to be some sort of Pluto or Uranus or even Mars transit as well, for it to become nasty.

However I noticed that lately I am receiving more attention, especially of men, than I have done in the years before. Not at all stalkerish, but it was just noteable.

posted May 15, 2013 04:15 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by Doux Rêve:
Aww, good luck, Ceri!

I had that one a few years ago, worst experience of my life! But it also squared Pluto, so that magnified things. It was awful, I was extremely apathetic and depressed and had to take medication for it. Gosh, a nightmare.

I hope it'll be easier for you, though!

Hang in there, and get a lot of sleep and rest, it will help.

---

I am sorry to hear that.

If I may ask, what awful did happen under this Neptune-transit?

Well as I said a lot of internal stuff going on, but I also must say that there are periods I feel extremely well, very carefree even.

I checked when I had tr Neptune squaring my Pluto (it was on my natal Venus as well at that time): my beloved great grandmother died and thus we stopped visiting the town she had been living and where I have always felt very much at home. Many happy childhood memories. Actually for some reason I have been led to that town again in the recent months. lol

I also remember that over the course of two years I was having a very intense dream life, curiously during that time there was one dream which contained the explosion of the planet Neptune. Very vivid dream, it has been 25 years ago, and I can still recall that dream as if it had been yesterday. I did not know anything about planets or astrology back then, but actually THIS kind of started my interest in astrology. Maybe a tiny bit before that.

I`m not remembering much of the two years before that, but in 1988, when Tr Neptune was squaring my Pluto (and conjunct my Venus) for the last time, I fell in love for the first time. Well, I was infatuated, like REALLY infatuated, I was 13 years old.
Not requited, not easy. Major blow ups because of an betrayal by a so-called friend; Loud arguments (which are not my cup of tea usually) plus I got my revenge in a way I am ashamed of. Been dabbling in astrology and also in the occult a little too much, okay much too much during that year and the one leading to it (oh yes NOW I remember, no wonder I forgot!) and I used my "skills" to scare the crap out of her. And yes I did it deliberately and I experienced a very odd startling satisfaction from it.
Actually that was the last straw to let the occult sink into oblivion again; the other straw was that I suddenly noticed with other friends, how much power or control I suddenly had. Power of persuasion. They would have believed ANYTHING I said, and I certainly didn`t want to have this kind of power over anyone. It scared me. It scared me also to sense or know things about people I had never even seen (automatic writing). Also some dark experiences there, that haunted me for quite a time, and scared me as well.
It made me quite certain tha there are things you should not be playing around with. So I stopped.

AT the time I was always having my first real Deja Vu. Or actually at one point during a trip, and on a gathering with other youths, suddenly the world around me seemed to slow down, or time did, and it was like I was viewing everything like in slowmotion, through a veil. And actually I was speaking the dialogues of others simultaneously as they happened. It just lasted a few minutes, but definitely a moment to remember. lol

posted May 15, 2013 06:15 PM            

When I had tNeptune squaring my Mars (and a bit before that, Pluto), it also trined my Venus and Jupiter, and I fell in love with someone, crazily in love. It was more like infatuation actually, but that was the main reason for my psychological struggles at the time. I don't know why exactly, but that person triggered all kinds of self-destructive impulses in me, I think it was a kind of purging of psychological cr@p that had accumulated over the years, especially related to my parents and childhood traumas.

So what happened is that a lot of unconscious stuff came up to the surface, things I had a hard time dealing with. Mars rules my 12th house - self-undoing, hidden things. It was confusing: at times I felt completely lost and desperate (square to Pluto/Mars), and at other times, I felt bliss and love (trine to Venus/Jupiter). It was a very up and down period, and that was the time I thought I had Borderline PD (that was later "confirmed" by a psychiatrist) - I was extremely moody and self-destructive.
Apathy and depression lead me to self-harm and eating disorders, anxiety and suicidal thoughts, dissociative symptoms, and so on. I was a mess, so I was advised to take medication - antidepressants first, and then neuroleptics. It really wasn't pretty. I remember I had really bad side effects at first because the prescripted dose was too much for me (headaches, nauseous sensations, nervousness, extreme fatigue, etc). So I was like a walking zombie, no joke. I thought I'd never get better, everything seemed so dark and doomed.

It's tricky to remember now that it's over, I can't even believe all that happened to me, to be honest. Seems like it was so long ago.

But yes, to sum it up: psychological difficulties were the main theme at that time, and they seemed to be popping out of nowhere (12th house).

I'm so glad it's over, really!

posted May 19, 2013 04:05 PM            

We just learned that my maternal uncle had a stroke. It`s still too early to say how much damage is being done and if he will get well totally again. But at least he is conscious and of course treated in hospital now.

Mars is in my 12th house and is the traditional ruler of my 12th house. And 12th house is the derivative house for siblings of the mother (3rd house from 10th house, if the 10th house is associated with the mother, which it is in my case).

However I am quite optimistic that he`s going to be okay again. After all he was still able to call my parents and was totally conscious and coherent all the time my brother was speaking to him (while my parents and the help was on their way).
he even was joking.

though it turned out aftr a first examination that this was already the 2nd stroke, and he must have had a bigger one some years ago. Though he wasn´t aware of that.