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Author Topic:   is there an aspect that would cause a person to feel guilt & obligation constantly?
bluegreyeyes
Knowflake

Posts: 157
From: NC
Registered: May 2009

posted May 28, 2013 02:17 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for bluegreyeyes     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I feel like I am constantly living my life out of guilt b/c of obligations.

The story:
My parents are much older (mom 44 when i was born, father 47) and I am the youngest & only daughter. Being Irish Catholic, my 3 older brothers (who were all married at the time) encouraged me to move from New York City to North Carolina to help with my mother's failing health. She has been very ill for 3 years and her memory is fading fast. My father (who remains active & spry for his age, thank gosh) is now in a position of taking care of her which is very frustrating and new for him - total role reversal: I had to teach him to do laundry, cook & clean when I moved in with them.

It's been 3 years, I'm now 30, and I feel enormous guilt when thinking about moving out and living my own life. Mostly I feel bad for leaving my father without someone to vent and talk to. Also, my dog has become used to being around people at all hours while I'm at work so I feel guilty about her being alone if I were to move out. Lastly, the youngest brother (7 yrs older than me) divorced a few years ago and moved here - I can't imagine leaving him to "deal" with my parents since he has a short fuse, kind of irresponsible post divorce and has little patience for my mother's bad memory and father's chatty personality. I tend to be the "mediator".

Another thing, my 2nd oldest brother passed away suddenly 2 years ago, his children live with his ex-wife (their mother). She has always been extremely irresponsible, selfish, bad with money, tends to hang out with rough characters and has a history of drugs alcohol. I was the only person to call social services and a private investigator when she went off the grid and disconnected her phones/changed her address. Ultimately, nothing I could do b/c she hadn't broken any laws but... still, it keeps me awake at night.

I used to be the most outgoing social person, and since moving down here I've been drained and focused on my families needs. I'm 30, I want to get married and have my own family but I'm not exactly a big catch on dates: most of my spare time is spent on domestic responsibilities, I live with my parents and I work - I'm not all that "fun" anymore. I know I need my own place and to get back to focusing on me but it's hard to imagine blowing off all my "responsibilities" and I fear that something bad will happen if I'm not around to make sure things run smoothly.

I constantly feel guilt over everything - it's just my natural instinct and I wish I could shake it. I wonder if there's an aspect that explains it?

I'm Aqua sun, Gem Moon & Aries Rising.

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Aqua Sun
Gem Moon
Aries RIsing

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lalalinda
Moderator

Posts: 3155
From: nevada
Registered: Apr 2009

posted May 28, 2013 02:54 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for lalalinda     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Interesting post bluegrayeyes!

It sounds like Saturn is being activated.
First look at your Saturn aspects in the Natal. What transiting Planets are activating them?

Next What is going on with the South Node?
anything with the 4th house?
How about any Capricorn planets?
Where is the Progressed Moon. (Cap?)

and last but not least, how far is T. Uranus from your Ascendant?

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"For all those who believe, expect a miracle.”
Linda Goodman 1925-1995

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starmoon
Knowflake

Posts: 557
From:
Registered: Sep 2011

posted May 28, 2013 03:02 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for starmoon     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
there wouldn't be one aspect, it'd be something (likely) in your own chart that is making you feel such obligation towards your family - perhaps a packed 4th or 6th house, a weak mars, 12th house stuff, etc. it's best to post your chart.

go to www.astro.com and create a natal chart for yourself. Save the image you see from astro.com and upload it on a site like photobucket.com Copy the code that has "[IMG]" and paste it into your post.

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mockingbird
Knowflake

Posts: 1627
From:
Registered: Dec 2011

posted May 28, 2013 03:38 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for mockingbird     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Look at your entire chart (the astroclick feature on astro.com's useful), but especially Saturn.

I know someone with the following:

Saturn in the Fourth House 4th hs
Mercury Square Saturn
Saturn Square Uranus
Moon Trine Saturn
Saturn Trine Neptune
Sun Sextile Saturn
Jupiter Sextile Saturn
Saturn Sextile Pluto

And he's very much driven by feelings of guilt and obligation, though perhaps not as destructively as some because of the sextiles and trines.

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depth
Knowflake

Posts: 568
From:
Registered: Mar 2010

posted May 28, 2013 03:59 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for depth     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I might have asked my parents to move with me as a solution cause I doubt I would've left them and gone. I would never live apart from my parents (even after marriage), unless circumstances don't permit. There is a sense of obligation but at the same time, there's deep attachment.

Saturn in the 1st
Uranus rules my first and sits in the 12th in Capricorn
Saturn square Pluto
Saturn sextile Mars

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