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Author
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Topic: Scorpio venus man with no energy for sex is it over?
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nyfaerie
Newflake Posts: 5
From: ny, ny usa
Registered: Jun 2012
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posted June 25, 2013 04:40 PM
  
My sag sun but mar&venus in scorpio boyfriend of 3 yrs & I are on a break because after 3 yrs of weekly sex. The reason is that we havent been having sex the last 2 months after we hit that 3 yr mark and I (sag sun/mars capricorn venus) was unhappy. He doesn't want to break up, just a break which I let him know would be a breakup if either of us went elsewhere physically. He has intimacy issues, and now is helping me financially since I lost my job and working 7 days a week. I know he feels like he is failing me by not being turned on. Is this something we can fix? Or is his body subconsciously directing him away from me? Any input appreciated? Including if any scorpio venuses out there might know what i could do to respark things.IP: Logged |
Doux Rêve
Moderator Posts: 3863
From:
Registered: Dec 2010
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posted June 25, 2013 06:08 PM
Venus and Mars in Scorpio, not wanting sex?
Man. That sounds bad.Maybe he's facing personal issues right now.
And maybe he's just way too tired, if he works so much. Wait it out and see how it goes. Hopefully things will go back to "normal". IP: Logged |
Randall
Webmaster Posts: 29269
From: Saturn next to Charmainec
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted June 25, 2013 06:42 PM
Welcome!IP: Logged |
Geeky
Knowflake Posts: 362
From:
Registered: Dec 2012
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posted June 25, 2013 07:46 PM
Being tired and feeling the stress of so much obligation is probably what it is. I have Venus in Scorpio (female) and I am sexually needy. If we go more than 2-3 days without sex, I get grumpy. However, I will back off if I am super stressed with a heavy workload or if I'm sick.The other alternative is not good. My current partner has never dealt with this but the past ones have (the ones that ended up with a breakup). If I fall out of love or if I'm mad/resentful at my partner, or if I lose trust for any reason, the sex & intimacy (kissing, etc.) gets completely shut down. When I was young (not as mature either), I did not break up with a person right away because of guilt or attachment, but the sex was shut down on the hopes that he would leave. I started acting mean too. How's he acting towards you otherwise? IP: Logged |
Orange
Knowflake Posts: 681
From: Georgia
Registered: May 2009
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posted June 25, 2013 08:21 PM
he works 7 days in a week to support you because you are unemployed and you complain that you dont have enough sex? How dare youIP: Logged |
CatMote
Knowflake Posts: 215
From: New Britain, CT, United States
Registered: Apr 2013
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posted June 25, 2013 08:26 PM
quote:
Originally posted by Orange:
he works 7 days in a week to support you because you are unemployed and you complain that you dont have enough sex? How dare you
whoa whoa, i dont think the purpose of the question was to complain. i think the purpose of the question was so things can get rekindled.
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Sun Aries Moon Pisces
Mars Pisces Venus Pisces
Mercury Aries Jupiter in Virgo
Saturn in Aquarius Pluto in Scorpio
Neptune and Uranus in Capricorn
Ascendant Libra IP: Logged |
MsPrism
Knowflake Posts: 56
From:
Registered: Jun 2013
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posted June 25, 2013 08:53 PM
quote:
Originally posted by Geeky:
Being tired and feeling the stress of so much obligation is probably what it is. I have Venus in Scorpio (female) and I am sexually needy. If we go more than 2-3 days without sex, I get grumpy. However, I will back off if I am super stressed with a heavy workload or if I'm sick.The other alternative is not good. My current partner has never dealt with this but the past ones have (the ones that ended up with a breakup). If I fall out of love or if I'm mad/resentful at my partner, or if I lose trust for any reason, the sex & intimacy (kissing, etc.) gets completely shut down. When I was young (not as mature either), I did not break up with a person right away because of guilt or attachment, but the sex was shut down on the hopes that he would leave. I started acting mean too. How's he acting towards you otherwise?
I'm gonna second this. I've experienced it first hand with a partner.
He was trying to figure out a problem at work and every hour he couldn't fix the problem 100,000 dollars was lost because thousands of workers couldn't work without the problem fixed. It took a few days for the problem to be resolved. Talk about pressure! No erection, no thought of sex, no physical intimacy, nothing. He was as confused about it as I was. Stress does odd things to the body. I'll also say that I pull away when things aren't working with a partner, I can't have sex with them, I can't kiss them, etcetera. It's stress and/or relationship issues and only discussion with your partner will present you with the truth.
IP: Logged |
nyfaerie
Newflake Posts: 5
From: ny, ny usa
Registered: Jun 2012
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posted June 25, 2013 09:07 PM
I am absolutely not complaining- the work shift happened before i lost my job- that didnt happen til this past friday. He changed his schedule not for me but to take a class because he wants to make more money. I really love him and it seems to bother him as much as me that something is off here. I want to help him and us and bring him the joy and release our sex life used to offer us both.
I am one of the only people he trusts and he offered to free me to go find someone better than him which I said no to.
IP: Logged |
nyfaerie
Newflake Posts: 5
From: ny, ny usa
Registered: Jun 2012
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posted June 25, 2013 09:08 PM
Thank you all for the input- is there anything i can do to help the stress in any way for those of you who have experienced this?IP: Logged |
Venusian Moon
Knowflake Posts: 683
From: Nyc
Registered: Feb 2013
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posted June 26, 2013 12:02 AM
Hes working 7 days a week. Hes exhausted. No energy.IP: Logged |
Venusian Moon
Knowflake Posts: 683
From: Nyc
Registered: Feb 2013
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posted June 26, 2013 12:03 AM
quote:
Originally posted by nyfaerie:
I am absolutely not complaining- the work shift happened before i lost my job- that didnt happen til this past friday. He changed his schedule not for me but to take a class because he wants to make more money. I really love him and it seems to bother him as much as me that something is off here. I want to help him and us and bring him the joy and release our sex life used to offer us both.
I am one of the only people he trusts and he offered to free me to go find someone better than him which I said no to.
Sneak a horny goat weed herb in his drink. He wont know  IP: Logged |
11nahyt
Knowflake Posts: 792
From: the future
Registered: Feb 2012
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posted June 26, 2013 12:59 AM
Instead of trying to have penetrating sex, try giving him an awesome BJ. Be into it. And show that your not doing it just to please him, but because you love doing it cause it pleases you too. Having actual sex, while being as stressed out as he is, just sounds like hell lol. A BJ is less strenuous, and he doesn't really have to do anything but enjoy it. I know when I'm stressed out real bad, I don't wanna engage in anything physical,nor emotional. id want to shut everyone out, and not speak or see anyone until I've solved my problems..So try to dial back on the "I'm so frustrated that you won't sex me" thing. Cause its going to make it worst. He doesn't need any extra pressure right now.... Try wearing something sexy, but subtle around the house. visually tease him. What's odd to me, is that he'd want a break from the relationship, but he's still willing to work to maintain you financially, AND himself.IP: Logged |
Venusian Moon
Knowflake Posts: 683
From: Nyc
Registered: Feb 2013
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posted June 26, 2013 01:05 AM
Maybe he wants a break because shes pressuring him sexually? Or maybe hes annoyed that he has to support her but at the same time hes being a bit of a martyr.
Why dont u get a job and take the stress off him?
IP: Logged |
happyaskings
Knowflake Posts: 309
From:
Registered: Dec 2012
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posted June 26, 2013 01:56 AM
Didn't she say she lost her job a week ago? She's probably looking calm down people! Stop being Judgy Judys. IP: Logged |
Venusian Moon
Knowflake Posts: 683
From: Nyc
Registered: Feb 2013
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posted June 26, 2013 02:12 AM
quote:
Originally posted by happyaskings:
Didn't she say she lost her job a week ago? She's probably looking calm down people! Stop being Judgy Judys.
I like judge judy. Shes a ***** . IP: Logged |
Kerosene
Knowflake Posts: 2678
From: Mercury
Registered: Dec 2012
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posted June 26, 2013 02:22 AM
How old is he?
As a male I can say we get can in the mood pretty easily.
Especially if we have a partner
I can't understand why he's suddenly hesitant if you guys use to be at it like rabbits.Males still get horned up even if were tired, he would probably even suggest oral sex or you can be on top if he's physically tired etc. Sex helps relief stress after all. He could have some type of medical problem, maybe severe depression or... maybe erectile dysfunction... idk You should have an in depth conversation with him, and whats troubling him. IP: Logged |
Swift Freeze
Knowflake Posts: 324
From: One World
Registered: Nov 2009
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posted June 26, 2013 08:05 AM
As everyone else said, you need to talk it out with him. Maybe you need to re-assure him that you still feel the same way about him, physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually etc. There can be a great deal of pressure, you've been together 3 years, that is a fairly long relationship. Maybe you should try your hardest to get to a place, where you can grab him for an hour, cuddle up together somewhere private and tell him, this whole hour is for you, for me to listen to you, no judgements, no nothing, just to listen. If you do try this, you can always do the same, grab him for an hour, and you talk and he listens.
The other option is to close your eyes, imagine him and take matters into your own hands, and if he should 'accidentally' walk in on you and still has no energy, then you should try the talking route.
When it comes down to it, only he knows the reasons, it would be better if he;
1) knew what they were.
2) Was able to talk about them with you.
3) You could then both try and resolve any problems.
4) Decide where you should both go from there.
It could be as simple as he is too tired from working 7 days. Maybe he feels he should be doing a better job of providing for you and so doesn't feel as "man" as he should. There is a huge range of potential reasons, but only he knows for certain. I wish you the best of luck. ------------------
Learn lots. Don't judge. Laugh for no reason. Be nice. Seek Happiness. Follow your dreams. IP: Logged |
psytaurus
Knowflake Posts: 164
From:
Registered: Aug 2011
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posted June 26, 2013 02:02 PM
IME, he's done with your relationship (at least for now anyway). When the attraction fades away there really isn't much you can do to get it back. In fact I would say there are only two options left in that case: settle/look for that spark again. Guess what most people chose to do.This
quote:
he offered to free me to go find someone better than him which I said no to.
would worry me because it seems that he's passive-aggressively trying to break-up with you without making himself look like the bad guy & hurting your feelings in the process.
If I were you I would look into what happened 2 months ago that had made him change his behavior and see if I could do anything to repair things.
Good luck!
IP: Logged |
Geeky
Knowflake Posts: 362
From:
Registered: Dec 2012
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posted June 26, 2013 08:29 PM
quote:
Originally posted by psytaurus:
IME, he's done with your relationship (at least for now anyway). When the attraction fades away there really isn't much you can do to get it back. In fact I would say there are only two options left in that case: settle/look for that spark again. Guess what most people chose to do.This
[QUOTE]he offered to free me to go find someone better than him which I said no to.
would worry me because it seems that he's passive-aggressively trying to break-up with you without making himself look like the bad guy & hurting your feelings in the process.
If I were you I would look into what happened 2 months ago that had made him change his behavior and see if I could do anything to repair things.
Good luck![/QUOTE] Good catch! Yes, this is very PA behavior. I agree. ------------------
IP: Logged |
MsPrism
Knowflake Posts: 56
From:
Registered: Jun 2013
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posted June 27, 2013 02:53 AM
quote:
Originally posted by nyfaerie:
Thank you all for the input- is there anything i can do to help the stress in any way for those of you who have experienced this?
The only thing I could do for my partner is to massage him, talk to him sweetly, be very attentive by making sure he's not hungry or thirsty. I didn't talk about sex or desiring sex, I didn't sigh or act upset about it. I didn't bring up work at all. I made him take a bath and kept the house really serene, etc. etc. I just tried to understand his moods and then help.
You may know what makes him comfortable already and you can take that knowledge and run with it. If you don't, ask him and then try to fulfill those needs to the best of your abilities. I hope this helped! 
IP: Logged |
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