Lindaland
  Astrology 2.0
  help with this confusing aquarius guy!

Post New Topic  Post A Reply
profile | register | preferences | faq

UBBFriend: Email This Page to Someone! next newest topic | next oldest topic
Author Topic:   help with this confusing aquarius guy!
confused_libra
Newflake

Posts: 6
From:
Registered: Jul 2013

posted July 05, 2013 02:43 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for confused_libra     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
So i was dating this aqua man for about a year (it was long distance and unofficial) and then he started dating another girl and lied to me about it. so, i ultimately told him how i felt and how hurt i was and he was confused but we stopped talking for about 6 months.

all of a sudden, the other day, he adds me on facebook. i didn't respond to his friend request and so he sent me a message. he acted like nothing had happened and simply said "hey what's up i lost your number". i was caught off guard and immediately brought up the past and he then said he was sorry and he is different now and he wants to try to be friends again. this was about a week ago. i eventually agreed and said we can be friends again and move on from the past. i gave him my number too.

my question is, i haven't heard from him since then. is he going to contact me again or what? this just all seems so random to me. i'm so confused because all of a sudden my feelings for him came rushing back even though i had thought i'd moved on and i was totally fine with never speaking to or seeing him again. we have a very long history that goes back far before we even got romantically involved if that plays any part in this.

thank you for any advice and for taking the time to read this

IP: Logged

sweet-scorpion
Knowflake

Posts: 1540
From: PA, USA
Registered: Apr 2012

posted July 05, 2013 02:51 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for sweet-scorpion     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Hi, and welcome to the community!

Would you like to post a synastry if possible between the two of you? It does require a birth time usually but maybe it's possible, or you could just use 12 PM for him if you really wanted to do a synastry and we'd ignore house placements.

As for regular advice... beyond astrology. I think that the circumstances surrounding the relationship were hazy. Too vague, and he didn't know how to be honest with you and maturely let you go when he knew that he should have. I can't see why he was confused - he wanted the best of both worlds, or wanted to live a lie while having his cake and eating it too, and there's nothing to be confused about there - in why you'd be upset. You did the right thing by not talking to him anymore. He seems very transient, meaning, all over the place. This kind of person is difficult and I had a friend like this and for sensitive people, it's very hurtful...so I'd save yourself the pain of waiting for a transient person who can't get his act together and look ahead, not back.

I'm a Libra too, and I know that relationships can be very difficult to break. But you need to do this for yourself, since it seems like he's playing with your heart and not thinking about you, only himself.

IP: Logged

hannaramaa
Knowflake

Posts: 4860
From:
Registered: Nov 2011

posted July 05, 2013 02:54 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for hannaramaa     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Aquarius and Sagittarius tend to operate the same. I'm no expert on either but I tend to be able to read Aquariuses like a book, and I'm an Aries so I deal with a lot of Sags.

Aquarius likes a woman who sticks to her principles. He told you he is different, then I would tell him that's nice he thinks so and I'd agree when I see it. Someone can't just tell you they're different and not follow through! I hate that.

How long has it been since you exchanged numbers? If he said he wants to be friends again, he may not be acting as fast because he meant it - just friends. They take their friendships seriously but there's no rush in them because friends stay around longer than romantic interests.

Maybe? Idk.

IP: Logged

foxxyxo
Knowflake

Posts: 255
From:
Registered: May 2012

posted July 05, 2013 03:05 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for foxxyxo     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
wow funny you posted this cause i just had a very similiar situation happen with an aquarius guy and all i can really say is its not working period because of the long distance....after awhile it just gets sad cause you want to be with that person but can't so its almost better to keep the distance in communication in case something does happen and someone gets hurt...his not there and vice versa so trust issues are going to come up....his just doing it to protect himself from being hurt....whats meant to be will be and will always find a way

IP: Logged

confused_libra
Newflake

Posts: 6
From:
Registered: Jul 2013

posted July 05, 2013 03:06 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for confused_libra     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by sweet-scorpion:
Hi, and welcome to the community!

Would you like to post a synastry if possible between the two of you? It does require a birth time usually but maybe it's possible, or you could just use 12 PM for him if you really wanted to do a synastry and we'd ignore house placements.

As for regular advice... beyond astrology. I think that the circumstances surrounding the relationship were hazy. Too vague, and he didn't know how to be honest with you and maturely let you go when he knew that he should have. I can't see why he was confused - he wanted the best of both worlds, or wanted to live a lie while having his cake and eating it too, and there's nothing to be confused about there - in why you'd be upset. You did the right thing by not talking to him anymore. He seems very transient, meaning, all over the place. This kind of person is difficult and I had a friend like this and for sensitive people, it's very hurtful...so I'd save yourself the pain of waiting for a transient person who can't get his act together and look ahead, not back.

I'm a Libra too, and I know that relationships can be very difficult to break. But you need to do this for yourself, since it seems like he's playing with your heart and not thinking about you, only himself.


Thank you for the reply! Honestly I don't know what a synastry is lol. I'm kind of new to astrology. But, what I do know is his birthdate is feb 11 1992 i believe somewhere around detroit, MI. mine is september 24 1992 at 6:12am in royal oak, MI. I don't know his birth time.

I definitely appreciate your insight, you are right on a number of things. Our relationship was very vague and hazy. And yes he is very transient. I left out many details of the story as I didn't want to make my post too long. I never really knew what he thought because we would talk about everything except our feelings for each other. That was a mistake on both our parts. He did tell me he loved me once, but this was very early on and so i responded with "you don't have to say that" because i wasn't sure i felt the same at the time. Anyway, our relationship was basically a rollercoaster for me. constant ups and downs from my perspective at least.

Thanks so much for your reply though, I appreciate you helping me figure this out. If you need any more details, i don't mind telling them at all, I just don't want to ramble on when it isn't necessary lol.

IP: Logged

confused_libra
Newflake

Posts: 6
From:
Registered: Jul 2013

posted July 05, 2013 03:09 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for confused_libra     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by hannaramaa:
Aquarius and Sagittarius tend to operate the same. I'm no expert on either but I tend to be able to read Aquariuses like a book, and I'm an Aries so I deal with a lot of Sags.

Aquarius likes a woman who sticks to her principles. He told you he is different, then I would tell him that's nice he thinks so and I'd agree when I see it. Someone can't just tell you they're different and not follow through! I hate that.

How long has it been since you exchanged numbers? If he said he wants to be friends again, he may not be acting as fast because he meant it - just friends. They take their friendships seriously but there's no rush in them because friends stay around longer than romantic interests.

Maybe? Idk.


Thanks for your reply I appreciate it. Yeah, I gave him my number on Tuesday and haven't heard from him. I'm totally fine with being just friends with him, we were just friends for a long time before i ever thought of him as anything more. He pursued me a few different times over the years and it took 5 years before I gave in because I just couldn't think of him that way. so who knows what goes through his head, lol.

But I agree, from what I am seeing right now he has not changed at all since we were last friends!

IP: Logged

confused_libra
Newflake

Posts: 6
From:
Registered: Jul 2013

posted July 05, 2013 03:11 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for confused_libra     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by foxxyxo:
wow funny you posted this cause i just had a very similiar situation happen with an aquarius guy and all i can really say is its not working period because of the long distance....after awhile it just gets sad cause you want to be with that person but can't so its almost better to keep the distance in communication in case something does happen and someone gets hurt...his not there and vice versa so trust issues are going to come up....his just doing it to protect himself from being hurt....whats meant to be will be and will always find a way

Yeah, girl i feel you. It sucks. But, it was actually not too hard for me to move on and i was completely happy with not talking or seeing him again until he randomly started talking to me again :\. It truly is a rollercoaster. If you need to talk I'm here

IP: Logged

sweet-scorpion
Knowflake

Posts: 1540
From: PA, USA
Registered: Apr 2012

posted July 05, 2013 03:13 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for sweet-scorpion     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by confused_libra:
Thank you for the reply! Honestly I don't know what a synastry is lol. I'm kind of new to astrology. But, what I do know is his birthdate is feb 11 1992 i believe somewhere around detroit, MI. mine is september 24 1992 at 6:12am in royal oak, MI. I don't know his birth time.

I definitely appreciate your insight, you are right on a number of things. Our relationship was very vague and hazy. And yes he is very transient. I left out many details of the story as I didn't want to make my post too long. I never really knew what he thought because we would talk about everything except our feelings for each other. That was a mistake on both our parts. He did tell me he loved me once, but this was very early on and so i responded with "you don't have to say that" because i wasn't sure i felt the same at the time. Anyway, our relationship was basically a rollercoaster for me. constant ups and downs from my perspective at least.

Thanks so much for your reply though, I appreciate you helping me figure this out. If you need any more details, i don't mind telling them at all, I just don't want to ramble on when it isn't necessary lol.


You're welcome hun. Sorry if I was being confusing with the synastry thing, lol... I didn't know if you were really into that sort of thing w/ astro yet or not. :')

I can try to figure out some sort of chart for you two anyway, even though the birth time isn't available right now.

Thank you for opening up to me and revealing the other parts of the story. I'm an Air sign, and Mercury-Saturn so I tend to write LONG messages. It's oK... feel free to write posts as long as you please. Yes, you're right about the avoidance of feelings being a mistake. I feel that if you even felt the need deep down to discuss your feelings and make them concrete, is a red flag... since maybe you felt at that time that the nature of the relationship and his feelings in particular were too unclear so as a Libra tends to do, you wanted to verbally discuss his feelings to make things more clear and concrete. But maybe you hesitated out of anxiety?

It's oK. We all make mistakes. I feel like him saying ILU early on was also a warning sign if in your heart, you felt it was too soon and inappropriate. I've had rollercoaster relationships before and they're mentally exhausting. That's why I recommended you to just continue forward and not humor a spiritually undeveloped person by playing along with his waiting games.

IP: Logged

sweet-scorpion
Knowflake

Posts: 1540
From: PA, USA
Registered: Apr 2012

posted July 05, 2013 03:15 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for sweet-scorpion     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
EDIT; oops, sorry... my bad... I read the date as 22 September for your birthday and I was like, Is she a Virgo or something? LOL... It's my adult ADD/ADHD. I can't read numbers clearly. Or maybe it's Mercury being retrograde.

I'm gonna make the charts right now for you two.

IP: Logged

confused_libra
Newflake

Posts: 6
From:
Registered: Jul 2013

posted July 05, 2013 03:30 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for confused_libra     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by sweet-scorpion:
You're welcome hun. Sorry if I was being confusing with the synastry thing, lol... I didn't know if you were really into that sort of thing w/ astro yet or not. :')

I can try to figure out some sort of chart for you two anyway, even though the birth time isn't available right now.

Thank you for opening up to me and revealing the other parts of the story. I'm an Air sign, and Mercury-Saturn so I tend to write LONG messages. It's oK... feel free to write posts as long as you please. Yes, you're right about the avoidance of feelings being a mistake. I feel that if you even felt the need deep down to discuss your feelings and make them concrete, is a red flag... since maybe you felt at that time that the nature of the relationship and his feelings in particular were too unclear so as a Libra tends to do, you wanted to verbally discuss his feelings to make things more clear and concrete. But maybe you hesitated out of anxiety?

It's oK. We all make mistakes. I feel like him saying ILU early on was also a warning sign if in your heart, you felt it was too soon and inappropriate. I've had rollercoaster relationships before and they're mentally exhausting. That's why I recommended you to just continue forward and not humor a spiritually undeveloped person by playing along with his waiting games.


aww, you seem so sweet! thanks so much for making a chart yes you're right, i did want to verbally discuss the feelings between us but everything i'd read about aquarians told me not to because they don't like discussing feelings and all that. so i figured i would ruin what we had and i should just go with the flow. funny thing is, i think i ended up ruining what we had by not verbalizing my feelings and it could've saved me a lot of drama and pain! yeah, i probably shouldn't get involved with him again. my brain and heart just say two different things so it's tough but i know i can do it. just the thought of seeing him again is exhilarating and i don't know why but who knows what will happen with him and his confusing ways lol.

IP: Logged

sweet-scorpion
Knowflake

Posts: 1540
From: PA, USA
Registered: Apr 2012

posted July 05, 2013 03:48 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for sweet-scorpion     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
So I did a synastry with his planets on the outside of yours. I'll post the images below of him on the outside, so his planets affecting you.

I can briefly summarize some issues. First off, your Venus in Leo is too warm, fun loving, adventurous and forthright for his extremely detached, Mercurial nature. It's not good that his Mercury and Sun are so tightly conjunct, it's combust. It means that he's very logical but can't be the emotional, fiery lover that you need him to be and can't meet your love needs. It means his way of seeing love isn't on the same wavelength as your vision of love. The Venus-Merc opposition is likely why you began to feel uncomfortable and hesitant in your love expression and began to question if you should talk about your feelings [his Aqua influence]; and likely why he said hollow 'ILU's as if that would be emotional and intense enough for you [your Leo influence].

This is an almost exact opposition and it's extremely difficult, or it was, for you two. You're too hot, he's too cold, it's an uneven sharing of energies. Something felt 'off'.... like he was raining on your parade, he became aware of it and couldn't do much to make it better. Maybe the way you expressed love to him seemed too 'immature', not sure.

He was probably very talkative, cool, calculated and intellectual kind of guy, so don't fall for his tricks. I'm not surprised he used technology in the way of FB to play with your heart or try to again since social media is quite Aquarian.

His Moon in Taurus also squares off your Venus in Leo and this makes things complex too, since it shows that emotionally, he was perhaps uncomfortable with the 'demands' you placed on him in a relationship. You likely wanted passion and fun, and perhaps it felt like he was more content to be at home or doing something casual.

His Pluto squares your Venus, making you susceptible to feeling controlled by him or thinking about him long after the relationship is over, but this is also a generational planet. Watch out for this with many different guys born around this man's time.

His Mars in Capricorn directly makes an exact conjunction to your natal Saturn and this makes me wonder if he wanted to become intimate or take things on too quickly and you resisted time after time. In synastry, Saturn is like glue though. Obviously this is what the long distance thing was all about. The two of you tried to stick it out but it was likely either you not wanting sex or the idea that intimacy was just impossible for the distance between you two that made things difficult. It was almost like the idea of waiting out for each other to meet up again kept you two together, but it also wore you both down. It's a maturity and responsibility aspect. Or who knows, maybe it was even him saying it was the wrong time to have sex or not wanting to be intimate, but it wore on you two. This is my best insight.

Although his natal two planets are in Capricorn, his Mars and Venus are still considered conjunct meaning he has a healthy sexual appetite at times and this is likely why it was difficult for him to continue on with the weariness of Mars-Saturn.

Your Mercury in Libra squares off on his Mars in Capricorn and this likely created tension. You wanted desperately to communicate your ideas about love and relationships and you felt restricted by the way he acted about the entire topic. Maybe the way he acted in general made you nervous, unsure and indecisive. It still seems to be right now. Yet because his Sun-Merc conjunction sextiles your Mercury, you had a way out of feeling uncomfortable by being able to communicate but just not about the core subjects close to your heart.

Your Pluto trines his Moon meaning that you probably were slightly emotionally possessive of him or the other way around; it can even go both ways. Likely you were most angry that he betrayed you by even considering being with another girl. It probably would've drove you to vengeance if he had flirted with another girl around you, or it could have been that way for him.

His Saturn in Aquarius squares off on your Uranus which likely could mean he's very by the book with things, not counting all his Cap planets, and you're willing to be a little more experimental, and this bothered him.

Your Aries Mars makes a square to his Mars which means you wanted him to be more outgoing, and he was annoyed at how you were much more unstructured and forthright versus always slow and steady in your approaches to things. You wanted the green light and he gave the red light. He probably criticized your approaches too often and maybe even called you childish, you called him a kill joy, and quarreling took place too often. Could be a potential mood killer, and with Mars conjunct Saturn to boot this shows that you two likely aren't extremely sexually compatible.

His Venus is widely conjunct your Saturn and this is also another 'stuck on you like glue' aspect and presents problems. Such aspects can indicate things in the long term and serious relationships but more often than not, an already negative synastry with this in it shows two people dragging it out far longer than they should have and things just taking a turn for the worse longer down the road, from one or both people feeling too responsible in the relationship, or the passion just not being there. For you two, it was likely fluctuating sexuality and the LDR issue, most definitely!

Your Venus makes a quincunx to his Venus which basically means two planets are incompatible and do not work together. This shows that your love nature was far too bombastic, outgoing and warm for him, he may have even see it as immature or outlandish, and it tired him to live up to those expectations since they just weren't like him.

I can almost picture the archetypes for you two as a sporty, talkative, and fiery girl who likes dancing and socializing trying to win over the heart of a cool, intellectual scientist type who just can't let loose, let go, and commit to one thing at a time...kinda like the nutty professor but with playboy tendencies? lol.

Finally, your Moon makes zero contacts to his personal or gen. planets and this isn't good. This makes things even more unbalanced because you'll likely feel like you're emotionally neglected and he just doesn't get your deeper feelings.

:-/ Sorry if this sounded negative, I just wanted to be direct and honest.

IP: Logged

sweet-scorpion
Knowflake

Posts: 1540
From: PA, USA
Registered: Apr 2012

posted July 05, 2013 03:50 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for sweet-scorpion     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by confused_libra:
aww, you seem so sweet! thanks so much for making a chart yes you're right, i did want to verbally discuss the feelings between us but everything i'd read about aquarians told me not to because they don't like discussing feelings and all that. so i figured i would ruin what we had and i should just go with the flow. funny thing is, i think i ended up ruining what we had by not verbalizing my feelings and it could've saved me a lot of drama and pain! yeah, i probably shouldn't get involved with him again. my brain and heart just say two different things so it's tough but i know i can do it. just the thought of seeing him again is exhilarating and i don't know why but who knows what will happen with him and his confusing ways lol.

Thank you! And you're welcome. I had some extra time on my hands so it's no problem. I wouldn't blame yourself or think that you single handedly ruined anything...judging by the synastry I just did it seems that you two were just not extremely compatible and he was an intimidating guy to you, making it feel like it was hard to naturally talk and be open like he'd get impatient or think you were childish.

Some of the Pluto connections, and the Saturn stuff will likely make you want to be around him more but I'd resist it and move on.

IP: Logged

confused_libra
Newflake

Posts: 6
From:
Registered: Jul 2013

posted July 07, 2013 04:10 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for confused_libra     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by sweet-scorpion:
Thank you! And you're welcome. I had some extra time on my hands so it's no problem. I wouldn't blame yourself or think that you single handedly ruined anything...judging by the synastry I just did it seems that you two were just not extremely compatible and he was an intimidating guy to you, making it feel like it was hard to naturally talk and be open like he'd get impatient or think you were childish.

Some of the Pluto connections, and the Saturn stuff will likely make you want to be around him more but I'd resist it and move on.


Thank you so much! Sorry it has taken me a few days to get back to you, i think the site was down? But I think the synastry was pretty accurate besides a few things. I don't think he is a "by the book" type of guy... seems the opposite? Idk. Who knows anymore lol. But it's okay that it seemed a bit negative, I don't mind at all. It was just interesting to read.

He asked me to hang out yesterday. I agreed but the plans were tentative and of course I never heard from him after that lol. I wasn't expecting to hear from him though. Normally I would've called to see if he still wanted to hang out and he would say yes but this time I didn't call or text or anything. Things have changed, the tables have turned in a way.

IP: Logged

All times are Eastern Standard Time

next newest topic | next oldest topic

Administrative Options: Close Topic | Archive/Move | Delete Topic
Post New Topic  Post A Reply
Hop to:

Contact Us | Linda-Goodman.com

Copyright 2000-2013

Powered by Infopop www.infopop.com © 2000
Ultimate Bulletin Board 5.46a