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Author Topic:   Has anyone ever noticed love stelliums aren't very sexual?
RunAroundScreaming
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posted July 07, 2013 03:54 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for RunAroundScreaming     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
It seems like with love stelliums, I am fine being just friends with the person. Actually, if dating is not possible I WANT to be just friends with them, and it isn't a huge deal. I've also noticed that being true for other people with love stellium crushes (they end up being friends with them even if they don't date for whatever reason).

A lot of times, also, it doesn't feel sexual at all. Like with other guys I have a crush no with no love stellium (or no sun conjunct venus) I will kinda think of them in a sexual way and admire them for their body and possibly be kind of perverted. Haha. But that doesn't happen with love stellium crushes...I will just feel this tremendous feeling of affection and a little bit of lust. That is why sometimes I will have a crush on them and not feel any sexual feelings, and then feel confused as to whether I only like them as a friend or not!! So confusing. With certain love stellium people the physical attraction is stronger though, i think probably due to the presence of pluto or venus-mars in synastry.

It seems to me that love stelliums with the opposite sex sway strongly towards a very affectionate friendship, and usually not a crush. OR if it is a crush, it's both a very affectionate friendship and romantic at the same time.

I think what this all means is that love is based on friendship, and also that it has little to do with sexual feelings, but is affectionate instead. I've always had the gut feeling that sex is just a perversion of what is supposed to be expressing your affection for someone. Because if you think about it, you can still do similar things to someone who is unable to have sex because they're limbless or something by being very affectionate.


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Leocassandra
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posted July 07, 2013 03:58 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Leocassandra     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
synastry or composite?

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RunAroundScreaming
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posted July 07, 2013 04:01 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for RunAroundScreaming     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
A love stellium is the sun being conjunct venus and mercury in the composite. But I would also include composite sun conjunct venus in this as well.

^__^

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Hera
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posted July 07, 2013 04:03 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Hera     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Well I wouldn't put it precisely like that. I also don't agree that sex is a perversion (wtf??).

IMO and IME, the love you feel outgrows possession and jealousy, you simply want the best for them even if it's not with you. You always have their best interest at heart. That is true love, in my opinion. It does not deny sexual feelings tho.

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RunAroundScreaming
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posted July 07, 2013 04:07 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for RunAroundScreaming     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I meant that sex is supposed to be affection, not lust


quote:
the love you feel outgrows possession and jealousy, you simply want the best for them even if it's not with you. You always have their best interest at heart. That is true love, in my opinion.

YES. agreed
Yeah thats true...maybe that is why you can/want to stay friends

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Ceridwen
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posted July 07, 2013 04:09 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Ceridwen     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Hera:
Well I wouldn't put it precisely like that. I also don't agree that sex is a perversion (wtf??).

IMO and IME, the love you feel outgrows possession and jealousy, you simply want the best for them even if it's not with you. You always have their best interest at heart. That is true love, in my opinion. It does not deny sexual feelings tho.


totally agree.

For me sex is a beautiful way to express affections, even though it is not the only way.


The love stellium might lean towards the described way though. I guess for sexual interest Mars or Pluto might come into play, too.

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Ceridwen
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posted July 07, 2013 04:09 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Ceridwen     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by RunAroundScreaming:
I meant that sex is supposed to be affection, not lust

Why not both?

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RunAroundScreaming
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posted July 07, 2013 04:11 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for RunAroundScreaming     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Ceridwen:
Why not both?


Because being viewed with lust makes u feel like a sexual object? Lust doesn't care about ur satisfaction, it cares about that person's own satisfaction. And you feel that, you feel like you're being neglected or something, or used.

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I'm so cappy
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posted July 07, 2013 04:13 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for I'm so cappy     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I think you're exaggerating. There has to be at least a little lust to initiate intercourse.

If it was all about affection, hugs would be enough. Maybe I don't know much about relationships but it always seemed to me that seeing the person you love and who loves you being aroused by you must feel very flattering
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Hera
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posted July 07, 2013 04:23 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Hera     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Ceridwen:
Why not both?

They can totally coexist! I don't know why we feel like we have to choose.

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Doux Rêve
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posted July 07, 2013 04:25 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Doux Rêve     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I think RAS is talking about the kind of love that feels "elevated" - agape.

It doesn't mean you cannot feel lust and love but yeah.. They are different things.

Sorry if I'm being wrong, RAS! lol.

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YoursTrulyAlways
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posted July 07, 2013 04:26 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for YoursTrulyAlways     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Doesn't work for the other gender. For red blooded regular males, it's sexual 100% of the time for any reason or no reason at all. Hahaha. I'm joking. But there usually isn't love from me absent the element of some lust.

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Hera
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posted July 07, 2013 04:28 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Hera     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I understand RAS's pov. I even agree with it! lol But I think the way she phrased it gives the wrong message to people reading this.

Sex is not bad.
Lust is not bad.

(though some discrimination should be used with both methinks but it's your choice)

You can have elevated love and lust with the same person, hopefully even at the same time.

Or at least this Mars trine Neptune can! hehe

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RunAroundScreaming
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posted July 07, 2013 04:34 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for RunAroundScreaming     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Doux Rêve:
I think RAS is talking about the kind of love that feels "elevated" - agape.

It doesn't mean you cannot feel lust and love but yeah.. They are different things.

Sorry if I'm being wrong, RAS! lol.


Yes you are right.
I just feel like when there is a sun conjunct venus aspect the sexual thoughts are based on affection and much less on lust than when it is not present. Like someone said, you put their feelings first. Without that aspect, it's like I just want what I want and it will be more wham bam and not affectionate, does that make sense?

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Leocassandra
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posted July 07, 2013 04:35 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Leocassandra     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I would agree. Maybe if love stelium would be in opposition or square to Pluto...

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Doux Rêve
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posted July 07, 2013 04:37 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Doux Rêve     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I can see what you mean, RAS.

But I think it's different for men and women - from experience.

I usually have affectionate feelings for someone if we have the Sun/Venus conjunction in composite but it doesn't always feel that way to them..

Maybe the synastry is more telling in that case.

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britterfly
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posted July 07, 2013 04:50 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for britterfly     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
isn't a composite about how the relationship plays out in the world?

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RunAroundScreaming
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posted July 07, 2013 04:55 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for RunAroundScreaming     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by britterfly:
isn't a composite about how the relationship plays out in the world?

a composite describes the relationship (both people will feel it) while the synastry describes how the people affect each other individually, the different roles they play separately in the relationship


for example, if my sun opposes your uranus, I play the role of the sun in the relationship (neg aspect--so the neg qualities of leo..demanding bossy self-centered) while the other person plays out the neg qualities of Uranus or aquarius...rebelling against restrictions or conventions, wanting freedom to come and go as they please, being too distant, being too impersonal.

But the composite is felt by both parties...it does not describe the separate roles two people play.
It can be felt right away for sure. I think it is a myth that the composite can only be felt later on.

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Textbook
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posted July 07, 2013 05:04 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Textbook     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by RunAroundScreaming:
a composite describes the relationship (both people will feel it) while the synastry describes how the people affect each other individually, the different roles they play separately in the relationship


for example, if my sun opposes your uranus, I play the role of the sun in the relationship (neg aspect--so the neg qualities of leo..demanding bossy self-centered) while the other person plays out the neg qualities of Uranus or aquarius...rebelling against restrictions or conventions, wanting freedom to come and go as they please, being too distant, being too impersonal.

But the composite is felt by both parties...it does not describe the separate roles two people play.
It can be felt right away for sure. I think it is a myth that the composite can only be felt later on.


To be fair to her, I've heard the same thing - everything from that the composite indicates how the relationship will work out in the end, to how other people will perceive your relationship (whether it's true or not), etc

The "sex is a perversion" thing kinda threw me too. I was like "a perversion is Mr Hands having sex with a horse". If sex is a perversion, then we're all the products of a perverted act - you included. I will say this though, that I think humanity has kinda perverted sex, which isn't to say that sex itself is a perverse or dirty act. I think a lot of people don't give the sexual act and their bodies in a sexual context, the respect that they should.

Where love stellium are concerned - I think it just makes two people just really, really fond of each other; they just genuinely like one another automatically on some fundamental level. Whether or not the relationship will be romantic, sexual or platonic I think is dependent on other factors in the synastry. I can't speak for him, but with my first love I have the love stellium and I was actually physically attracted to him yes, in addition to just really appreciating him as a person. I don't think the two have to be mutually exclusive. I think it's entirely possible to feel genuine, pure and deep love for a person, and find yourself intensely sexually attracted to them also, and honestly I wouldn't want to be with someone I felt only one or the other, for.

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RunAroundScreaming
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posted July 07, 2013 05:20 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for RunAroundScreaming     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
ok yes, i agree with what everyone has said so far

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mockingbird
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posted July 07, 2013 05:20 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for mockingbird     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I'd agree, if I'm just speaking from personal experience.

My husband and I have a tight cSun/cVenus conj in the 4th, and we're first and foremost really great friends.
We just *like* and mutually respect one another, you know?

On my end, that part would remain even if something happened that made sex impossible for him.

Our sexuality can be found in some other aspects ^_^

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Please excuse all outrageous typos and confusing auto-corrects.

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RunAroundScreaming
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posted July 07, 2013 08:02 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for RunAroundScreaming     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote

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