posted July 26, 2013 06:08 AM            

Me:
Moon 26'29'' Aquarius(12th house)

My moms planets in my 12th:
Saturn 25'36'' Aquarius
Sun 25'43'' Aquarius
Mars 26'06'' Aquarius
Chiron 13'18'' Pisces
Moon 18'28'' Pisces

My dad's planets in my 12th:
Mercury 16'19'' Aquarius
Chiron 0'12'' Pisces
Venus 21'01'' Pisces

posted July 26, 2013 08:14 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by elixir:
Alright..how does it feel? Confusing? Feeling like someone is messing with your head? Do you feel like its a karmic thing?

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Karmic? If past lives are real, you could say I didn't do much in my past life to merit a nurturing parent. She has said many times she does not know how to nurture.

It was confusing. She would try to be nicer when someone called her on it but it wouldn't last. So, every once in a while I saw a nicer parent for a bit then she would go back to her true self non nurturing/cold/absent.

Let's just say I didn't have typical experiences others take for granted - family gathering around the table every night for dinner, for one. When my mom cooked it was rarely and stuff like Chef Boy Ardee and it was burned because she would put it in a pan on the stove and turn the heat all the way on high and let it sit there without stirring. Then she would get angry, yell, proclaim what a lousy cook she is, and feel sorry for herself the rest of the evening. There was always a lot of emotionalism over everything, large and small. It was constant. Frightening, sometimes. The only time I saw families eating dinner together were at neighbor's houses or an Aunt and Uncle's. I did spend a lot of time at neighbor's houses but they got tired of me always being there.

posted July 27, 2013 07:54 AM            

She went through a short phase where she was overly religious. My father's Catholic, mom Baptist, and when they were together, we went to mass every now and then. My dad wasn't that religious. When they split up, she started going to these Baptist churches with really loud preachers yelling at people. That was really scary since I was only four. If I complained it was too loud, she grew indignant.

One time we did go to counseling where the therapist said she expected too much out of me at too young an age. She had a long list of things she wanted done every day when I got home, she was still at work. The only time she ever listened was to a therapist for some reason, everybody else knew nothing. She knew everything and was therefore always correct, and you had to have a college education and be certified in a field to possibly know what you were talking about. Someone simply reacting was never convincing.

So, pretty much, having a parent with lots of planets/asteroids, sun and moon in their child's twelfth house, in my experience, has been similar to not having parents in the traditional sense. They aren't around, and when they are, it's not typical like what others have in their families. There can also be antipathy, my favorite twelfth house word. This sort of atmosphere can exist in this type of synastry - extreme emphasis on the twelfth house. It's like a general air of enmity that weighs heavily, permeates everything.

posted July 27, 2013 07:29 PM            

My mom and dad are both aqua suns. My parents had 10 kids and I was the 5th one. I don't feel that the reason I was neglected by her is only because there were so many of us. She just has her head in the clouds and she has religious OCD. She thinks the root of all our problems with her is us disrespecting her(4th commandment). Also now there are only 3 kids at home. One is 18 and the other 2 are 11. She emotionally neglects the 11 year olds too and a couple years ago they were actually talking about suicide because she makes their lives miserable.Everytime I go over there they ask me to cook them dinner because she just buys them box dinners or something and expects them to eat it. She cooks dinner for them but not often enough.

It took me a lot of self-help books and developing an interest in psychology and astrology to release a lot of this conditioning. I am in a much better place then I was a few years ago and have healed a lot but still have a lot more work to do. I have blocked out a lot.

Its just such a confusing dynamic with both of them in my 12th house, its like I space out and can't put it into words...

posted July 27, 2013 09:23 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by elixir:
Sorry I was posting on my kindle and my messages were going to the wrong threads...weird.

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quote:

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My mom and dad are both aqua suns. My parents had 10 kids and I was the 5th one. I don't feel that the reason I was neglected by her is only because there were so many of us. She just has her head in the clouds and she has religious OCD. She thinks the root of all our problems with her is us disrespecting her(4th commandment). Also now there are only 3 kids at home. One is 18 and the other 2 are 11. She emotionally neglects the 11 year olds too and a couple years ago they were actually talking about suicide because she makes their lives miserable. Everytime I go over there they ask me to cook them dinner because she just buys them box dinners or something and expects them to eat it. She cooks dinner for them but not often enough.

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You are nice to help out from time to time!

Your natal moon is in the twelfth house...when you have something in twelve and they as well, perhaps you feel even more of a void? I seem to. Extreme twelfth house emphasis takes the parent's attention away from the kids for some reason. It can be anything from illness to work, even extreme religious beliefs, also religious cults, maybe, where parents are devout members.

I had to find substitutes who managed what my mother wasn't able to provide, somewhat, which might be another twelfth house matter since it rules orphans who are raised by people other than their parents. Even though I am not, technically, an orphan, pseudo foster parents are the same idea, sort of. Did your older brothers and sisters help raise you? If I had some, I am sure they would have taken the place of neighbors and helped my mom raise me. I just didn't happen to have any and most of my mom's family lived hundreds of miles away. The two who lived nearer had as little interest in raising kids as her.

quote:

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It took me a lot of self-help books and developing an interest in psychology and astrology to release a lot of this conditioning. I am in a much better place then I was a few years ago and have healed a lot but still have a lot more work to do. I have blocked out a lot.

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quote:

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Its just such a confusing dynamic with both of them in my 12th house, its like I space out and can't put it into words...

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quote:

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I wanted to ask you what has helped you?

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Does your mom involve herself in a lot of charity work, focus on that more than her close family at times? This is more what twelfth house is good at or does. Helps outsiders/strangers. My mom did this sorta thing. Focus on outsiders, ignore the family.

posted July 28, 2013 01:19 AM            

I don't mind helping out but its the reason why I have to do it. Its like im enabling her.

[Your natal moon is in the twelfth house...when you have something in twelve and they as well, perhaps you feel even more of a void? I seem to. Extreme twelfth house emphasis takes the parent's attention away from the kids for some reason. It can be anything from illness to work, even extreme religious beliefs, also religious cults, maybe, where parents are devout members.

I had to find substitutes who managed what my mother wasn't able to provide, somewhat, which might be another twelfth house matter since it rules orphans who are raised by people other than their parents. Even though I am not, technically, an orphan, pseudo foster parents are the same idea, sort of. Did your older brothers and sisters help raise you? If I had some, I am sure they would have taken the place of neighbors and helped my mom raise me. I just didn't happen to have any and most of my mom's family lived hundreds of miles away. The two who lived nearer had as little interest in raising kids as her.]

No I raised myself mostly. They did help me with some things but I was teased a lot and treated bad by my siblings too. I'm not that close to them. I was raising the younger kids too. I was responsible for them and my mom made me and my sisters cook and clean a lot. I was forced to do even more work because I always did the best job. Its sort of sick and twisted. Yeah it does feel "void." When I try to match my vibration to everyone else then it feels void, but if I allow myself to fly high then I realize they have to come to my level if they want to relate to me. I am learning that now.

[Does your mom involve herself in a lot of charity work, focus on that more than her close family at times? This is more what twelfth house is good at or does. Helps outsiders/strangers. My mom did this sorta thing. Focus on outsiders, ignore the family.]

posted July 28, 2013 11:27 PM            

with 12th house it is a bit tricky I believe. The way I have experienced it, it is connections that are karmic. Not only karmic though, it can also be a sort of link to people you feel more connected with, even subconsiously. The expereinces or realtionships with this house can be either frustrating or really easy flowing. There is also something spiritual about connections in this house. For me it is the most mysterious house, you never know what will come along with this house.

posted July 29, 2013 06:08 PM            

The relationship will improve as long as I stay away from her and not let it bother me as soon as she starts pushing my buttons. She doesn't like it when I am withdrawn. I am too mysterious for her. I only consider her my biological mother, not much more than that.My dad is just not involved and never has been much, although he likes to give me advice. I just mostly tune him out now..Its still confusing. I am 23 and Moved back in with her after college. I only moved out last january but i live 15 minutes away so there is lots of drama because my 18 year old brother is always complaining about their arguments and wants to spend the night....

quote:

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Originally posted by StarlightSmileSupreme:
So...you don't see your relationship with them ever improving? How long have you lived away from them?
I will never have a deep emotional connection with my mother and I accept it. I am just past the point I am upset by it everyday and the only thing that's helped is distance and time, nothing else, really, except some Cognitive Behavioral Therapy I tried myself (without seeing anyone) - training my mind not to think about traumatic memories. This helps a lot. My mom is stuck in the past, enjoys reminiscing about her childhood. I never talk about mine unless it's my favorite television shows.

I understand about enabling, it easier for her to not pay attention when you come over and cook even though it's gracious of you.

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posted July 29, 2013 06:12 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by starrystratosphere:
my father has his stellium in my 12th. we have a very good understanding of one another.

with 12th house it is a bit tricky I believe. The way I have experienced it, it is connections that are karmic. Not only karmic though, it can also be a sort of link to people you feel more connected with, even subconsiously. The expereinces or realtionships with this house can be either frustrating or really easy flowing. There is also something spiritual about connections in this house. For me it is the most mysterious house, you never know what will come along with this house.

So, I think parents falling in your 12th is a part of your karma. It can be positive or negative.

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posted July 29, 2013 11:46 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by StarlightSmileSupreme:
You must have had to give up a lot because of all this, Elixir. These situations are always roughest on the kids
I am sure you have plenty of great karma stored! Just try to be optimistic about the future. The past can become a terrible trap, taking your energy and drive, robbing you of future happiness. Don't let it! You have a lot to offer the world! You need to take some time to heal from your childhood, then you will see. You will feel better. Find whatever makes you happy in life, focus on that when you feel blue.

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