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Author
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Topic: Losing my oldest girl
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Cynnared
Knowflake Posts: 1032
From:
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted August 06, 2013 03:16 PM
  
The past few months have been hellish and things have been very rough at home with my oldest girl acting up. She hurts her little sister and has been downright horrible. Today she DEMANDED and stated that she refuses to live with me any more and that she would prefer to live with her dad - even though she is not happy with him either - she is deeply disturbed that her parents are not together and tries to guilt trip me over this. But I stand strong on this decision.I am not sure if it is the transits that are happening right now. Yesterday's new moon was around 14 Leo and my IC is at 14 Leo. I have Uranus in Libra at 11.27 in the 5th.....reflecting children. Sun in Aries at 13.15 and Mars in Capricorn at 13.15 are stressed to the max and the Cancer planets are not helping......a hurricanes seems to be sweeping through my life. IP: Logged |
its_aqua
Knowflake Posts: 598
From: Mars
Registered: Nov 2012
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posted August 06, 2013 04:32 PM
The description of your daughter's behaviour reminds me of myself when I was 15 and I actually did leave my mother to live with my father just because he would let me do anything I wanted, go out as often as I liked. But overall living with him was difficult as well. I then returned home,then go again to my dad's, then back home,then again(!!) to my dads and then back home for good. (All these lasted for like 6 years)
Now Im planning on living on my own.
My mother has a Capricorn Sun, Libra Mars and she has too Uranus in 5th.
You should post your daughters chart, I suggest trying to get closer to her without being judgemental, and maybe giving her a little more freedom?
How old is she?IP: Logged |
hippichick
Moderator Posts: 2884
From:
Registered: May 2009
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posted August 06, 2013 04:51 PM
O, hon....let her GO!I am choosing to walk away from my youngest (21) who just cant find her own way. They will be OK, they will find a way or else. We as parents cant let them drag us down to the depths of despair as I have let my youngest do so, so much. WE have lives too! And it hurts, to let them go, but for us and them....we must  IP: Logged |
Faith
Moderator Posts: 5306
From:
Registered: Jul 2011
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posted August 06, 2013 05:14 PM
^ I think sometimes it's the only way. I know I put my parents through quite a bit of turmoil, but I was very stubborn and needed them to give way. They didn't like some of my choices and blamed themselves for not stopping me. That's just what parents do. But I know it was my fault. I was extremely determined and really was going to do what I set my mind to, regardless. That's how kids are sometimes even when it hurts us (the parents). Too bad this culture blames the parents for everything. I believe my time is coming; one of my children is bound to horrify me with his or her choices, but I need to learn to just see their need for independence and let go. As hippichick said. Hope things turn out okay for you in the long run, Cynnarad. 
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Cynnared
Knowflake Posts: 1032
From:
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted August 06, 2013 07:11 PM
June 12, 2002 Calgary, Canada
11 AMI might as well put my data down too....April 3, 1971 9 am Calgary. Her father July 29, 1972 Regina SK 8 am The thing is that the going from home to home I don't think would be a good things for overall stability. I would like for her to stay and work through stuff but many interventions in the past have failed in regards to issues. It doesn't help my spouse having a "children are to be seen and not heard attitude" and he believes there should be 100% compliance. She resents him and then gets disrespectful and he becomes a child again shoving the disrespect back to her. I am caught in the middle. IP: Logged |
quinnlycanastro
Knowflake Posts: 496
From:
Registered: Jul 2012
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posted August 10, 2013 08:04 PM
Hang on, she's 11 years old? She needs to be told..........Transits or not, she needs boundaries that are rock solid. Tell her how it is, see if your ex will back you up. Think BOOTCAMP! Reward the good behaviour, but it might be an idea to have a list of five [?] minimum expectations you have of her or she loses privileges like tv, phone or whatever. You need to get tough. IP: Logged |
cappy1277
Moderator Posts: 1659
From: philadelphia,pa
Registered: Jul 2009
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posted August 10, 2013 09:57 PM
quote:
Originally posted by quinnlycanastro:
Hang on, she's 11 years old? She needs to be told..........Transits or not, she needs boundaries that are rock solid. Tell her how it is, see if your ex will back you up. Think BOOTCAMP! Reward the good behaviour, but it might be an idea to have a list of five [?] minimum expectations you have of her or she loses privileges like tv, phone or whatever. You need to get tough.
I was thinking the same thing...I thought maybe cynnared was speaking of an older child....but 11?? Time to lay down the law. My kids don't get choices unless they are paying bills and even then it is still my house...my house, my rules. I have 2 adult children and three teenagers. No matter what they go through, they may hate my guts and curse the ground I walk on, they don't get the choice to choose who parents them. They are stuck with me....this is where children lose their critical thinking abilities. They can't be led to believe that they have choices....no way. They want it their way, they need to pay their way. IP: Logged |
popcorn
Knowflake Posts: 3214
From:
Registered: Aug 2009
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posted August 11, 2013 05:22 AM
She is too young to have a choice. When she is 15 she is old enough.IP: Logged |
AscTaurus
Knowflake Posts: 638
From: Pretoria, Gauteng,South Africa
Registered: May 2009
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posted August 11, 2013 06:33 AM
Sun Gemini 21.33 Ascendant Leo 25.58
Moon Cancer 12.37 II Virgo 15.26
Mercury Gemini 1.59 III Libra 10.56
Venus Cancer 27.30 IV Scorpio 14.18
Mars Cancer 9.59 V Sagittarius 23.08
Jupiter Cancer 18.59 VI Capricorn 28.07
Saturn Gemini 18.53 VII Aquarius 25.58
Uranus Aquarius 28.48 R VIII Pisces 15.26
Neptune Aquarius 10.46 R IX Aries 10.56
Pluto Sagittarius 16.05 R Midheaven Taurus 14.18
Lilith Aries 2.52 XI Gemini 23.08
Asc node Gemini 17.55 XII Cancer 28.07 Natal Saturn conjunct Sun bottles up a lot of what is going on inside in an effort to deal with challenges in an "adult way". Pluto opposition Sun can idetinfy a person who doesn't want to look into the whole picture(Sagittarius Pluto) and is satisfied with their own view(Sun in Gemini). So if she sees you as the "enemy" , you may remain the "enemy" even if this is not the case at all. Mercury conjuncts Sun-by sign can infuse dexterity and mental prowess. This is a great placement because it means that she can express(Mercury) what is going on inside(Sun). The current Uranus/Pluto transits could be reacting with her natal Cancer placements(especially the moon)- making it seem like her immediate environment has become clausterphobic and "everyone" is in her face all the time. Transiting Neptune in Pisces is squaring her Sun sign(by sign) and could be causing issues related to identity and belonging. Neptune always infuses self-doubt and confusion-it can be very frustrating. Internally, she may be trying to figure out who she is in relation to people her age(Gemini). Given that her home is not like others, she could be "internalizing" that a bit more. Unfortunately also, the transit of Neptune in Pisces squaring her Sun(by sign) could mean that , at this time, she may be searching for answers from an idealized person(in this case, her father). Alternatively, it could also suggest that she may be in need of some spiritual direction or a "centred" place within which she can releasemuch of her anxieties. I think she could use some therapy to start off. The Saturn conjunction and Pluto opposition to her Natal Sun suggests someone who is all "wired" up and does need to view a "other" perspective. Get her in therapy with a female figure(Venus in Cancer) who is maternal and caring. Sun-Merury conjunction(in Gemini) means that she is likely to talk and perhaps even feel that talking is therapeutic (Mercury-Pluto opposition by sign). I think it's a phase. IP: Logged |
Lindaland
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