posted August 17, 2013 09:31 AM            

Thank you very much for allowing me a place where I can learn about life in such an honest way.

This brings me to my next question which is about core values.

I ask it to understand my childhood and also people I meet in life.

I always wanted to have strong values. I don't say this to brag but it was very important to me to be a person of good character.

I thought that would define me and make me special in a way that I liked. I think this is healthy ego.

------------------
Passion, Lust, Desire. Check out my journal

posted August 17, 2013 09:37 AM            

This was an assault on all I wanted to be and I grew to give up my dreams of being someone with a good character because I thought it was stupid, dumb, for ignorant people etc

However, now that I am getting more detachment from my past, I see that I want to be the person who I dreamed of in my past.

That is my self definition.

I think that good, stable core values can be seen in the chart, to a degree.

I think that Aquarius Sun and Moon makes his values based on the situation. This has a name and I can't remember it.

It is experience based values or something like this.

It may be inner locus of control vs outer locus of control.

I think the "disloyal Moons" will shift with the winds, too.

I think a cardinal ASC may stay strong in the face of adversity.

I see Cap Sun and Moon having strong values.

Any thoughts?

------------------
Passion, Lust, Desire. Check out my journal

posted August 17, 2013 09:51 AM            

I'm aspire to be a good person too, but I don't have a fixed set of values, it depends on my moods and circumstances. I guess that being a good person means that sometimes one have to be "better" than one's selfish wants and just do the right thing. Having a strong core values help.

I could try to be more fixed, but deep down I want to remain changable and capricious.

Once I took the aglinment test that Pixie Jane mentioned,(thanks Pixie Jane it's a great test) and my result was chaotic good.
http://easydamus.com/alignment.html

posted August 17, 2013 10:24 AM            

quote:

---

"There is no right or wrong. Just thinking makes it so"

---

You know, the truth is the good and evil might be only an earthly concept. We perceive something that harms as bad and something that's beneficial as good and that's totally understandable. But maybe on the other side there is no right or wrong, maybe there's just experience. Anyway...

I don't know if I am one but at least I try to be a good and fair person. I try not to hurt others. But my priority is to be true to myself and if that happens to hurt someone's feelings/disappoint them then sorry, but I can't please everyone on this planet.

The older I get the more I'm determined to stick to my values even if that means going against social expectations. I won't go back into religion even though I'm pressured to it. I'm ready to keep my virginity for the next x years, call me a weirdo if you want. I won't go the marriage-house-children... route even if that equals dealing with narow-minded people's judgemental and idiotic comments for the rest of my life.

I want to live my life the way I want it. Hopefully I won't hurt many people and I will help a couple of them in the process.

Does that make any sense?

posted August 17, 2013 10:37 AM            

This is what I mean and I am not dissing you but this is what screwed me up.

In my opinion, a person needs a core set of right and wrong values to be a healthy person. If not, you are an unhealthy mush.

This is not directed at YOU. Please, know that but at the subject at hand.

I am trying to heal my co-dependency and it is a serious issue with me to try to heal, so that is why I bring up these subjects.

To me, I admire the people like Randall, Odette and others who have a clear sense of right and wrong and will stand up for it.

To me, mooshy, mooshy values is what got me in this emotionally sick spot and I think the way out is the core values.

A person needs a place to which they will not go, no matter what other people are doing. This is core values. That gives life a stability.

Without it, you blow in the wind.

This is what happened to me, trying to role model myself after a mother who had changing values to situations.

Again, Cappy, this is not personal to you

------------------
Passion, Lust, Desire. Check out my journal

posted August 17, 2013 10:42 AM            

I can't remember her Moon.

When I told her the things my mother had done to me, she stopped talking to her sister.

That is core values, to me.

Other people make everything wishy washy and situation specific.

That is the word I was looking for. They change their values based on situations, not on core beliefs, values and morals.

Look at a man like Schindler. I don't know his chart but he would be a person who did not have situational ethics. THAT is the word I was looking for this whole time------situational ethics.

I guess my point of this thread is that *I* don't think you can be an emotionally healthy person with situational ethics.

------------------
Passion, Lust, Desire. Check out my journal

posted August 17, 2013 11:08 AM            

Abuse if definitely wrong in my world and I wouldn't have to be the victim to distance myself from the abuser.

I just did the test and it turns out I'm "true neutral". Hmm, I'm not sure how I feel about it

posted August 17, 2013 11:14 AM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by Ami Anne:
I grew up with a mother who would scream, "There is no right or wrong. Just thinking makes it so"

This was an assault on all I wanted to be and I grew to give up my dreams of being someone with a good character because I thought it was stupid, dumb, for ignorant people etc

However, now that I am getting more detachment from my past, I see that I want to be the person who I dreamed of in my past.

That is my self definition.

I think that good, stable core values can be seen in the chart, to a degree.

I think that Aquarius Sun and Moon makes his values based on the situation. This has a name and I can't remember it.

It is experience based values or something like this.

It may be inner locus of control vs outer locus of control.

I think the "disloyal Moons" will shift with the winds, too.

I think a cardinal ASC may stay strong in the face of adversity.

I see Cap Sun and Moon having strong values.

Any thoughts?

---

posted August 17, 2013 11:18 AM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by Ami Anne:
Look at a man like Schindler. I don't know his chart but he would be a person who did not have situational ethics. THAT is the word I was looking for this whole time------situational ethics.

I guess my point of this thread is that *I* don't think you can be an emotionally healthy person with situational ethics.

---

posted August 17, 2013 11:23 AM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by I'm so cappy:
Btw, doesn't my Capricorn Sun make you like me at least just a little, Ami?

---

I like you a lot, Cappy. This discussion is not personal to anyone. It is my trying to find answers that work for me

------------------
Passion, Lust, Desire. Check out my journal

posted August 17, 2013 11:24 AM            

------------------
Passion, Lust, Desire. Check out my journal

posted August 17, 2013 11:30 AM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by Ami Anne:
I like you a lot, Cappy. This discussion is not personal to anyone. It is my trying to find answers that work for me

---

I actually like you too, I can forgive you dissing my Moon Libra is understanding after all ^^

posted August 17, 2013 11:33 AM            

My childhood struggle was against my Pisces Moon - but I've grown up and now rely on my Taurus Sun/Venus/Mars as well as my emotional maturity to dictate my core values that I express through the way I live my life.

posted August 17, 2013 11:37 AM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by SDragon:
Core values are like a muscle, the more you use them the easier it gets. The less you use them, atrophy will kick in.

My childhood struggle was against my Pisces Moon - but I've grown up and now rely on my Taurus Sun/Venus/Mars as well as my emotional maturity to dictate my core values that I express through the way I live my life.

Fixed signs don't have a monopoly on core values - it just means that as you go through life, you tend to stick to what you believe in - whether truly right or wrong.

---

Well said, Friend.

------------------
Passion, Lust, Desire. Check out my journal

posted August 17, 2013 11:37 AM            

------------------
Passion, Lust, Desire. Check out my journal

posted August 17, 2013 12:03 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by SDragon:
Maybe the term core values is too loose a definition? Maybe we need to articulate more? What constitutes core values?

Honesty? Integrity? Compassion? Service? Love? Hard Work? Loyalty? Respect? Gratitude? Responsibility?

---

I know what it means, in my mind. Randall would exemplify it. If you watch how he deals on here, he does it by core values of right and wrong.

These are set values and not situational ethics. They would be the same today as tomorrow.

That is what I mean and I use Randall as an example because we know him.

There are some public figures who were like this and are like this but I don't want to get into a political discussion.

------------------
Passion, Lust, Desire. Check out my journal

posted August 17, 2013 12:13 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by Ami Anne:
I grew up with a mother who would scream, "There is no right or wrong. Just thinking makes it so"

---

Ami, this qoute is what I go by. The way I see life is, that I will never know the true point of view of those who do the most evilest things and those who sacrifice themselves for another person's happiness.

I live in an in between. Being an Aquarius sun with a Gemini moon, it makes sense. I hold to my own values, never push it on someone else and accept others until they push me. I am loyal and disloyal at the same time. I will stick up for my friends and fight for them, but if they hurt me in anyway when I have done only good, then it is best for them not to be in my life anymore.

As a child growing up, I believed people deserved second chances. That all must be forgiven. I was a child of god when I was young, but I found a path that better suited my eccentric nature.

I know what is right and wrong because of society and because I understand what it means for others to be in pain. I refuse to turn away from someone getting hurt. I fear I may not want to be friends again with a friend I have known for a long time because she hurt me, by saying something out of line. I tried to explain to her that she had to let go of this guy, and I kept telling her every single reason why. The logical reasons, the emotional ones and then she insulted me.

Now, I am faced with the dilemma of whether it is right for me to forgive her, or move on.

posted August 17, 2013 12:20 PM            

Reconciliation is a whole other thing. You can have one w/out the other.

I felt I was supposed to cut all contact with my mother and did so about 5 months ago. I sought God and felt Him strongly lead me to do this and keep leading me to stay this way.

In the time since I broke contact, I am beginning to forgive because I see how she was flawed. HOWEVER, I may never talk to her again and she may die.

This is very, very, very hard but forgiveness and reconciliation are two separate things

------------------
Passion, Lust, Desire. Check out my journal

posted August 17, 2013 12:31 PM            

Lies, I can relate to your post too.

posted August 18, 2013 12:38 AM            

making a decision that is heavily based on morals on whim or the "easier" path is emotionally unhealthy because it denies the formation of your own morals and character, but sometimes it's understandable, though not really excusable. the problem with having strong core values is that quite often, people use the morality of their own beliefs to defend their decisions without considering others.
balance is key.

posted August 18, 2013 07:24 AM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by socialgraffiti:
hi there ,

just to add my two cents to this post (not counting for inflation :P), I believe that core values are important, but there's also a fine line between having a stable base and becoming dogmatic. or, in other words, you must look at the context of a situation in order to place judgement properly, but that probably was the point you were making.

making a decision that is heavily based on morals on whim or the "easier" path is emotionally unhealthy because it denies the formation of your own morals and character, but sometimes it's understandable, though not really excusable. the problem with having strong core values is that quite often, people use the morality of their own beliefs to defend their decisions without considering others.
balance is key.

---

I hear you. You WOULD be from Uranus

------------------
Passion, Lust, Desire. Check out my journal