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Author Topic:   Crazy situation with Aquarius Man
confused_libra
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posted August 17, 2013 11:12 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for confused_libra     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
asdfda

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birdy
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posted August 17, 2013 11:20 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for birdy     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Just be honest with him. I know it sounds simple but that was my feeling.

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confused_libra
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posted August 17, 2013 11:21 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for confused_libra     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by birdy:
Just be honest with him. I know it sounds simple but that was my feeling.

Thanks but i feel like i was honest with him the other night. i'm trying to read his thoughts.

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birdy
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posted August 17, 2013 11:23 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for birdy     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Do you know what you want? Tell him clearly.

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confused_libra
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posted August 17, 2013 11:27 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for confused_libra     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by birdy:
Do you know what you want? Tell him clearly.

I want him. Not right now, but at some point when we live within a reasonable distance of each other.

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Jkitty
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posted August 17, 2013 11:43 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Jkitty     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
A person can't be any more honest with you than they have the courage to be with themselves.

He admitted to you that HE's confused, so it will be impossible for him to be clear with you until he knows what he wants. I don't think that telling him what YOU want will help this at all; it would just put pressure on him and he's confused enough already.

You're both young. You're in college. You're meeting new people, learning new things, exploring and discovering what you want and what's important to each of you. It's also a time to get your priorities straight. You can't rush this process for him (or for yourself).

It sounds like he just needs time to grow up. So enjoy your opportunities while getting your education. Position yourself to have a good life and be able to support yourself, because gone are the days when women could rely on guys to do that. Keep in touch with him as a CASUAL friend and maybe, just MAYBE, he'll decide that you're the one he wants. But don't be surprised if you meet other guys in your classes and on campus and one of them ends up being closer to your ideal. Happens all the time.

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StarlightSmileSupreme
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posted August 17, 2013 11:50 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for StarlightSmileSupreme     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
The problem is, you're thinking too much. Live in the moment, feel good. If you love the guy, let go and be happy when you are with him. Does he make you happy? This is the question you should be asking. If you don't feel happy with him, then you do not love him.
Love means willing to let go of the past, start new without the baggage.

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confused_libra
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posted August 17, 2013 11:53 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for confused_libra     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Jkitty:
A person can't be any more honest with you than they have the courage to be with themselves.

He admitted to you that HE's confused, so it will be impossible for him to be clear with you until he knows what he wants. I don't think that telling him what YOU want will help this at all; it would just put pressure on him and he's confused enough already.

You're both young. You're in college. You're meeting new people, learning new things, exploring and discovering what you want and what's important to each of you. It's also a time to get your priorities straight. You can't rush this process for him (or for yourself).

It sounds like he just needs time to grow up. So enjoy your opportunities while getting your education. Position yourself to have a good life and be able to support yourself, because gone are the days when women could rely on guys to do that. Keep in touch with him as a CASUAL friend and maybe, just MAYBE, he'll decide that you're the one he wants. But don't be surprised if you meet other guys in your classes and on campus and one of them ends up being closer to your ideal. Happens all the time.


Thank you for your reply! I was kind of planning on doing this, just didn't know for sure what the best course of action would be. I often get anxiety that I'll never see him or talk to him again... but considering the rollercoaster I have been riding with him the past few years, I feel like I shouldn't have that anxiety anymore. yet it persists. but anyways, you're right, he really does need to grow up. i feel like he has grown up a bit and matured over the past year. but i guess it's not enough. sigh. i just want to know how he feels but i guess he doesn't even know. strange how he still doesn't trust me after all this time :\

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confused_libra
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posted August 17, 2013 11:55 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for confused_libra     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by StarlightSmileSupreme:
The problem is, you're thinking too much. Live in the moment, feel good. If you love the guy, let go and be happy when you are with him. Does he make you happy? This is the question you should be asking. If you don't feel happy with him, then you do not love him.
Love means willing to let go of the past, start new without the baggage.

Thanks for the reply and i know you're right, i do completely over-think and over-analyze. he makes me happy when i'm with him for the most part. but i did let go of the past and was willing to start over. he's the one who is letting something that happened 7 years ago keep him from completely trusting me. :\ i don't know. i feel that i've proven myself since then to be a good person.

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StarlightSmileSupreme
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posted August 18, 2013 12:01 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for StarlightSmileSupreme     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by confused_libra:
Thanks for the reply and i know you're right, i do completely over-think and over-analyze. he makes me happy when i'm with him for the most part. but i did let go of the past and was willing to start over. he's the one who is letting something that happened 7 years ago keep him from completely trusting me. :\ i don't know. i feel that i've proven myself since then to be a good person.

I understand what you mean. Sometimes, it helps to not talk about stuff. Talking can lead to arguments. My advice is to enjoy your time together, not necessarily talking about anything or just talk about a mutual interest, movies. Keep it light.
It's the lesson of every Libra. If we want peace and love, we need to find it within ourselves and that often means being in the moment and keeping silent or just superficial. It's a good idea, in your relationships, to not go searching for the stuff that will lead to a disagreement or profound revelation that means a wall goes up between you and another. You will get much further, as a Libra.

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confused_libra
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posted August 18, 2013 12:05 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for confused_libra     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by StarlightSmileSupreme:
[QUOTE]Originally posted by confused_libra:
[b] Thanks for the reply and i know you're right, i do completely over-think and over-analyze. he makes me happy when i'm with him for the most part. but i did let go of the past and was willing to start over. he's the one who is letting something that happened 7 years ago keep him from completely trusting me. :\ i don't know. i feel that i've proven myself since then to be a good person.


I understand what you mean. Sometimes, it helps to not talk about stuff. Talking can lead to arguments. My advice is to enjoy your time together, not necessarily talking about anything or just talk about a mutual interest, movies. Keep it light.
It's the lesson of every Libra. If we want peace and love, we need to find it within ourselves and that often means being in the moment and keeping silent or just superficial. It's a good idea, in your relationships, to not go searching for the stuff that will lead to a disagreement or profound revelation that means a wall goes up between you and another. You will get much further, as a Libra.[/B][/QUOTE]

Thanks And that's usually what i do. This is the only time I brought up the past - but I had to do it. I couldn't let myself sleep with him again and then regret it in the morning and feel confused and wondering what we are. I feel like if you can't talk about how you really feel or about problems in a relationship, how can you have a meaningful relationship with someone? what's the point even? you know?

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StarlightSmileSupreme
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posted August 18, 2013 12:14 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for StarlightSmileSupreme     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
So, he doesn't want to date? I am a bit confused because it sounds like you two were having a good night, it was like a date. What are you expecting from him? Is it you wish you were closer, as in not so distant, is that what's in the way, or is it the past? Remember, you cannot change that, don't let it haunt you because it will eat away at your relationship with him.
Or, do you just want to go out yet not have anything sexual? If that's the case, I wouldn't go to his room or anything like that. Just make an excuse and tell him you have to be up early the next day and go.


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confused_libra
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posted August 18, 2013 12:22 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for confused_libra     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by StarlightSmileSupreme:
So, he doesn't want to date? I am a bit confused because it sounds like you two were having a good night, it was like a date. What are you expecting from him? Is it you wish you were closer, as in not so distant, is that what's in the way, or is it the past? Remember, you cannot change that, don't let it haunt you because it will eat away at your relationship with him.
Or, do you just want to go out yet not have anything sexual? If that's the case, I wouldn't go to his room or anything like that. Just make an excuse and tell him you have to be up early the next day and go.


haha, you sound just as confused as me! We were exclusive at one point 2 years ago. it ended because we weren't mature enough to handle a long distance relationship and rarely saw each other. yet, we ended up still being friends and the lines were blurred because whenever we hung out after that we would act like we were in a relationship but it was only when we saw each other. there was a lot of miscommunication and we liked each other but it was complicated.

then, me and him didn't talk for 6 months after he hurt me when he started dating someone new and neglected to tell me. I never expected to see him again but back in june he got in contact and said he wants to be friends again. So, I agreed. We hung out a lot this summer and it was always just as friends and he didn't try anything sexual until the other night.

so yes, my feelings for him never went away. the other night was great and made me realize i do want more with him (i think) sometime in the future. it's just hard because we only see each other when we are both home from college and i never know when i'll see him again. I can forgive the past and learn to trust him again. I'm just wondering if he can ever get over the past when I hurt him way back in high school. I had convinced myself he wasn't a very good person but now i think otherwise and i don't know i guess i'm just confused as to how he feels for me. sorry this is so complicated! but thanks for helping me out and giving advice, I really appreciate it

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StarlightSmileSupreme
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posted August 18, 2013 12:27 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for StarlightSmileSupreme     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Anytime! I truly hope this works out for you and him. It just sounds like, the culprit is, too much distance geographically. Maybe he feels all alone, maybe you do, too? It will test your relationship. Since time has passed before and you two got in contact, it will, most likely, happen again. Just wait until you finish school. What are your plans? His? School has just started :S
You have the whole school year to be apart. It won't be easy for either of you. Just try to hold on :/

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confused_libra
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posted August 18, 2013 12:31 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for confused_libra     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by StarlightSmileSupreme:
Anytime! I truly hope this works out for you and him. It just sounds like, the culprit is, too much distance geographically. Maybe he feels all alone, maybe you do, too? It will test your relationship. Since time has passed before and you two got in contact, it will, most likely, happen again. Just wait until you finish schools. What are your plans? His? School has just started :S
You have the whole school year to be apart. It won't be easy for either of you. Just try to hold on :/

Thank you we don't really talk when we're both at school. i've just never had such strong feelings for someone and it's hard for me to imagine feeling this way for anyone else. he's not a very emotional person (i blame it on the fact that he's an aquarius.. lol)

I'm graduating this Spring and planning on law school next year. he is not graduating until spring of 2015 though. and who knows where he will go from there.. haha. it's just annoying that i'm in this situation again because i had moved on in many ways from him and was fine with never seeing him or talking to him again. it's just strange how things happen.

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StarlightSmileSupreme
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posted August 18, 2013 12:35 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for StarlightSmileSupreme     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by confused_libra:
Thank you we don't really talk when we're both at school. i've just never had such strong feelings for someone and it's hard for me to imagine feeling this way for anyone else. he's not a very emotional person (i blame it on the fact that he's an aquarius.. lol)

I'm graduating this Spring and planning on law school next year. he is not graduating until spring of 2015 though. and who knows where he will go from there.. haha. it's just annoying that i'm in this situation again because i had moved on in many ways from him and was fine with never seeing him or talking to him again. it's just strange how things happen.



I understand you feel like this. Let me ask you, have you tried to find friends at your college, socialized there? You might find some new friends that will take your mind off all the distance. It can be really lonely when you know just one person and they are so far away. If you are not officially with him, you could maybe date others at your college?

Venus will be near your sun soon, so...time to get out there and work it, girl, lol. Find some fun friends to hang out with.

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confused_libra
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posted August 18, 2013 12:37 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for confused_libra     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by StarlightSmileSupreme:
[QUOTE]Originally posted by confused_libra:
[b] Thank you we don't really talk when we're both at school. i've just never had such strong feelings for someone and it's hard for me to imagine feeling this way for anyone else. he's not a very emotional person (i blame it on the fact that he's an aquarius.. lol)

I'm graduating this Spring and planning on law school next year. he is not graduating until spring of 2015 though. and who knows where he will go from there.. haha. it's just annoying that i'm in this situation again because i had moved on in many ways from him and was fine with never seeing him or talking to him again. it's just strange how things happen.



I understand you feel like this. Let me ask you, have you tried to find friends at your college, socialized there? You might find some new friends that will take your mind off all the distance. It can be really lonely when you know just one person and they are so far away. If you are not officially with him, you could maybe date others at your college? [/B][/QUOTE]

Oh yeah, I have a lot of friends at school. haha. I'm not dependent on him for a social life... he's just like a drug to me. I've also had other men who have been interested, but i just never feel the same towards them

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StarlightSmileSupreme
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posted August 18, 2013 12:39 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for StarlightSmileSupreme     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by confused_libra:
Oh yeah, I have a lot of friends at school. haha. I'm not dependent on him for a social life... he's just like a drug to me. I've also had other men who have been interested, but i just never feel the same towards them

Well, option B is just waiting but that's going to be a while before both of you are in the same town unless you transfer to where he is.

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confused_libra
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posted August 18, 2013 12:40 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for confused_libra     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by StarlightSmileSupreme:
[QUOTE]Originally posted by confused_libra:
[b] Oh yeah, I have a lot of friends at school. haha. I'm not dependent on him for a social life... he's just like a drug to me. I've also had other men who have been interested, but i just never feel the same towards them


Well, option B is just waiting but that's going to be a while before both of you are in the same town unless you transfer to where he is. [/B][/QUOTE]

Yeah, i would never transfer for a guy, I feel like that'd be a little pathetic lol. especially for someone who i'm not even sure there's a future with

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StarlightSmileSupreme
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posted August 18, 2013 12:43 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for StarlightSmileSupreme     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
There's not much left to do then. Now I feel hopeless and confused right along with you.

Just give it some time and hope for the best. Whatever will be will be is what I tell myself. Fate is the ultimate decider.

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confused_libra
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posted August 18, 2013 12:48 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for confused_libra     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by StarlightSmileSupreme:
There's not much left to do then. Now I feel hopeless and confused right along with you.

Just give it some time and hope for the best. Whatever will be will be is what I tell myself. Fate is the ultimate decider.


Haha, thanks. Sorry for confusing you. I know it's complicated. you're right. Although i don't necessarily know how i feel about fate, things will work out in the end because i know i'll be fine without him because i was fine before when i thought i'd lost him forever. Again, I really appreciate you taking the time to help me and offer insight

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StarlightSmileSupreme
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posted August 18, 2013 12:49 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for StarlightSmileSupreme     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by confused_libra:
Haha, thanks. Sorry for confusing you. I know it's complicated. you're right. Although i don't necessarily know how i feel about fate, things will work out in the end because i know i'll be fine without him because i was fine before when i thought i'd lost him forever. Again, I really appreciate you taking the time to help me and offer insight


You seem so sweet, you deserve someone who will put you on a pedestal, so keep that in mind and good luck with your Aqua!

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confused_libra
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posted August 18, 2013 12:58 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for confused_libra     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by StarlightSmileSupreme:
You seem so sweet, you deserve someone who will put you on a pedestal, so keep that in mind and good luck with your Aqua!

Aw, thank you you're very sweet yourself!

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confused_libra
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posted August 18, 2013 01:29 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for confused_libra     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
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