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Author
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Topic: Capricorn Man Question
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Steph314
Newflake Posts: 13
From: CT, YSA
Registered: Feb 2013
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posted August 29, 2013 03:49 PM
  
I am a Pisces that has been with a Cap since June 17th. I know their traits and he even admits that it is him to a tee. We met online, actually went to school together, both divorced twice and we are 58. He has done all the pursuing. I am definitely into his world. His home, family, life in general. We have always been on the same page and have a really good time together. No sex yet, a lot of cuddling and a few French kisses here and there.Going to Cape Cod in October together. But something is still irking me a tiny, tiny bit. 3 weeks into this he said "I'm just not falling in love". Of course I controlled all emotions and said "I thought we agreed it takes time". So he said, "I usually know by now". So we leave and he said "now you'll still keep texting me like we do every day". I managed to get out a little "sure". Then he says "Oh, why does anything have to change". So I figured back to the world of dating sites, yuck! Fast forward to the end of July and one day he wrote that he felt we were disconnecting. I told him I did not want to. He said "Do you really need to be in a relationship" I said no, but if I am devoting myself and time to one person, eventually I hope that is the outcome in the end".A couple of days later, I wrote him and he said "I really thought we could be friends, but I don't see that happening now". as hard as it was I stepped away with no drama. A week later I get a text "It's silly to let a friendship go to waste, do you want to talk." And we have been inseparable since then. His 27yr old son moved in with him a couple of weeks ago, told me the other night that his father really likes me a lot and he has never really seen him with a steady girl. Going to his place tonight and he has me meeting more family on Sunday.
Yes things are good, but I am still cautious in my actions of affection. I guess we are getting there!
Thanks to all!IP: Logged |
Libcap
Knowflake Posts: 63
From: NYC
Registered: Aug 2013
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posted August 29, 2013 04:11 PM
AWESOME! Good for you. It was a little weird his statement about not being in love yet but I like that you stayed true to yourself and wouldn't compromise what you wanted. I guess a little distance and helped him see. I think Capricorn men are like that they're so stagnant earth they need a little earthquake from time to time. Maybe a bit resistant to change. I'm a Libra Sun and my Moon is Capricorn AND my whole chart seems to be all in Capricorn. Ive been with mostly only Capricorn men in relationships and they seem to be very stable but weird when things start becoming official. They're just very rocky on the inside and they dont want to admit it. You're sooooo great, I'm very happy for you. Best wishes love. Muah. IP: Logged |
YoursTrulyAlways
Knowflake Posts: 6008
From:
Registered: Oct 2011
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posted August 29, 2013 04:32 PM
This is a very Capricorn man with Pisces ASC who lives in your neighborhood and is approximately in the same age group (early 1960s). Ask your questions and I'll be glad to help if my insights can be helpful.IP: Logged |
Randall
Webmaster Posts: 32825
From: Saturn next to Charmainec
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted August 29, 2013 08:07 PM
Welcome!IP: Logged |
Steph314
Newflake Posts: 13
From: CT, YSA
Registered: Feb 2013
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posted August 29, 2013 11:39 PM
Thank you a so much for your replies!
StephanieIP: Logged |
YoursTrulyAlways
Knowflake Posts: 6008
From:
Registered: Oct 2011
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posted August 30, 2013 08:25 AM
It seems to me that he has adopted a go-slow strategy since he has had two marriages and presumably is dedicated to his family obligations because his adult son is moving back in with him. I suggest giving it a bit more time and playing along. IP: Logged |
Steph314
Newflake Posts: 13
From: CT, YSA
Registered: Feb 2013
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posted August 30, 2013 10:43 AM
I know Capricorn men are not thrilled about public displays of affection, but I find mine really loosening up in this area as recent as last night. I am a total novice when it comes to Astrology, but have relied on characteristics of signs a lot. Amazing! I have met his Mom, his son loves me and I have been invited this Sunday to go with his Mom and sister to visit another sister. Obviously you can see the insecure Pisces coming through, but I would take a stab and say that this is going well. And it is so true about their sense of humor, totally crazy! I have never laughed so much in my life! Thank you all for your kind words and encouragement! StephIP: Logged |
YoursTrulyAlways
Knowflake Posts: 6008
From:
Registered: Oct 2011
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posted August 30, 2013 11:15 AM
Well, the no-PDA thing is a stereotype that is generally true but not all the time. It is good that you have his family's acceptance because that is always good. IP: Logged |
Steph314
Newflake Posts: 13
From: CT, YSA
Registered: Feb 2013
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posted August 30, 2013 12:26 PM
I can see him slowly coming around with the PDA business and I have been very suttle about it all along. It's quite amazing to watch the transformation occur. Of course I know there are other aspects of the sign involved but unfortunately I only know his birthdate at this point. I guess I was concerned, being an Italian Pisces to top it off and an absolute romantic about my next steps in that particular area.IP: Logged |
AcousticGod
Knowflake Posts: 7817
From: Pleasanton, CA
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted August 30, 2013 01:07 PM
I'm also a Capricorn (40 year old one). I don't think PDAs are really that far out of line for us. It could have just been hesitation for fear of leading you on or something.I do like what LibCap said. It's true that sometimes Capricorns sit like cats in someone else's adoration all the while not knowing exactly what we think about the other person. I've been in that position. As soon as that affection left, I chased it. Sometimes you don't know what you've got until it leaves. Other things that might factor into it are where he thinks you are in relation to him. Part of our affection may have to do with whether we see you fitting into our world. If there is a question about that, it can hinder things from moving very quickly. You don't have to be a trophy wife, but you may have to be someone he can trust in any situation, and in front of any audience. Your values have to align with his to a pretty good degree. Have fun at Cape Cod. It's so pretty there. IP: Logged |
Steph314
Newflake Posts: 13
From: CT, YSA
Registered: Feb 2013
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posted August 30, 2013 02:56 PM
Thanks so much for the insight! The little "sexy moves" are starting to come into play now the past couple of weeks via text messages that I get daily and in person. He is a social worker with a private practice also, typicl workaholic  and lives about 40 minutes from me, but I have no issues driing to him. Was just there last night and he went into his room to change and I was in the living room, he calls me to come in and see something and he is standing there with jeans down around ankles showing me his undies, so I flashed him the new bra the "girls" were wearing and that was that. No big rush, I would rather things happen naturally. But I laughed my ass off! He's like a big kid.IP: Logged |
AcousticGod
Knowflake Posts: 7817
From: Pleasanton, CA
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted August 30, 2013 03:35 PM
Sounds right.  IP: Logged |
Steph314
Newflake Posts: 13
From: CT, YSA
Registered: Feb 2013
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posted August 30, 2013 03:45 PM
And I appreciate what was said about "fitting in" his life. Let's put it this way, since his 27yr old son moved in with his girlfriend 3 weeks ago, I have helped them move things in the condo, cooked, cleaned and treated them to dinner too. And I got a nice compliment, "you have a good heart". Example, this morning I get his text, and a few others through the day, then bingo he calls me around 2pm and talks for about a half hour. But I do tease him and say he is the most fickle man I eer knew. Things can change from day to night in a matter of an hour oor less. Is that a trait?IP: Logged |
Steph314
Newflake Posts: 13
From: CT, YSA
Registered: Feb 2013
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posted September 02, 2013 08:21 AM
Weekend Update: met my Cap's family yesterday and all went fantastic. I must add he is pre-occupied with the fact that his 27 yr old son and "maybe" pregnant girlfriend moved into his condo. The place has turned into a dump, no respect for his furniture and this is not helping his mood. I spent the night for the first time and no sex still which is fine, and it went as I thought it would just cuddling and the same this morning. I made breakfast and I am sitting here typing now as the kids took off, he's in a mood because there truly is a lot of clean-up to do....is this a normal pattern for a Cap when they are upset? He is lashing out a tiny bit at me, but I am certainly not taking it personally. Just need my dose of reassurance for the day!IP: Logged |
YoursTrulyAlways
Knowflake Posts: 6008
From:
Registered: Oct 2011
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posted September 02, 2013 12:32 PM
It's normal. He's upset. Wouldn't you be?Is he a Christian/Catholic? To me, I sense he is holding off for religious reasons. I didn't touch my wife until after the wedding. IP: Logged |
lalalinda
Moderator Posts: 3365
From: nevada
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted September 02, 2013 01:58 PM
Hello Steph314! Welcome to LL  ------------------
"For all those who believe, expect a miracle.”
Linda Goodman 1925-1995 IP: Logged |
Steph314
Newflake Posts: 13
From: CT, YSA
Registered: Feb 2013
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posted September 02, 2013 03:43 PM
Oh believe me, he is upset. But he has thanked me throughout the day for helping him. We just got up from laying down for a nap and again it was a lot of closeness and snuggling. I am not worried right now about the lack of real intimacy. I just want to know that I am headed on the right track. I don't want to be the first one to initiate any sort of sexual advance. Am I right?IP: Logged |
YoursTrulyAlways
Knowflake Posts: 6008
From:
Registered: Oct 2011
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posted September 03, 2013 10:57 AM
Why not?IP: Logged |
Steph314
Newflake Posts: 13
From: CT, YSA
Registered: Feb 2013
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posted September 03, 2013 01:28 PM
I don't initiate itimacy because I thought Caps were the ones to do that. But I did get a lovely compliment yesterday from him. I met his whole family on Sunday and yesterday he told me that he asked the sister whose house we visited what she thought about me and she told him "I like her a lot and she is a good person to build your life with". From that moment on until I left his house, my hand was being held,he kept telling me how he could not of accomplished what he needed to without me there (still trying to get the son and girlfriend settled, we busted our tails! Got the best bunch of kissess and hugs when I left.
For the man who wasn't "in love" after 3 weeks, to me this is a bunch of giant steps in my book!IP: Logged |
AcousticGod
Knowflake Posts: 7817
From: Pleasanton, CA
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted September 03, 2013 07:26 PM
I don't think he's holding off for religious reasons. He's been divorced twice. quote:
I made breakfast and I am sitting here typing now as the kids took off, he's in a mood because there truly is a lot of clean-up to do....is this a normal pattern for a Cap when they are upset? He is lashing out a tiny bit at me, but I am certainly not taking it personally. Just need my dose of reassurance for the day!
It may be normal for him. Try to keep taking it in stride. quote:
I don't want to be the first one to initiate any sort of sexual advance. Am I right?
Hard to say. He shouldn't have any trouble initiating, but who knows. I don't know how you measure up to his previous loves. If you're significantly different from them, he may not trust himself to know how to proceed. If he doesn't know what he can get away with, he'll be conservative and keep feeling things out. You're both feminine Sun signs, and when two feminine signs are together it can be difficult to deal with things in an overt way. In fact, if ever one of you is more overt, the other will take it as an invitation to be more overt as well. That's why masculine and feminine work so well together: the masculine encourages the feminine to be more overt, while the feminine encourages the masculine to be more sensitive. When it's only feminine, there's less direct communication, and you have to kind of divine where the other person's head is at. quote:
I met his whole family on Sunday and yesterday he told me that he asked the sister whose house we visited what she thought about me and she told him "I like her a lot and she is a good person to build your life with".
This may indicate that he doesn't fully trust his own judgment. He needed some confirmation from the family that you are a positive person for him to invite into his life. quote:
From that moment on until I left his house, my hand was being held,he kept telling me how he could not of accomplished what he needed to without me there (still trying to get the son and girlfriend settled, we busted our tails!
I don't know about him, but I love feeling like my romantic partner will work with me as a team. I interpret that as a very good sign. IP: Logged |
Steph314
Newflake Posts: 13
From: CT, YSA
Registered: Feb 2013
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posted September 03, 2013 08:00 PM
Thanks to all for such wonderful advice! You are all so kind! I don't know specifics but his birthday is January 10 mine is March 14. I know I was born at 11:25pm.
Of course my workaholic Cap is burning the midnight oil tonight. He works here in my town, but lives about 40 minutes away.
As far as his marriages married the 1st time at 48, lasted a year. The 2nd one happened 5 yrs ago, divorced 4 yrs. he left that one as he says his life was chaotic, she brought him to financial ruin and she saw no problem hanging with her ex. And he said he loved her. But couldn't deal. He has dated a couple chicks before me but his son says I am the longest so far. Hope so!
IP: Logged |
Steph314
Newflake Posts: 13
From: CT, YSA
Registered: Feb 2013
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posted September 04, 2013 05:39 PM
So I am trying to be a good Pisces girl right now. The usual texting went on today and I just asked what time he was done with patients tomorrow night. He said 7pm but since his son has the car, his platonic friend Mary, who I have met, is driving him home so they can go to dinner. She even went on vacation with him last year. I do believe him because Mary was holding hands with a guy when I met her. They have worked together in social work for a few years. On Saturday night his is going to see a Broadway play with a nurse from work (which he told me about last month) and I don't have a problem with that. So why is the green eye monster trying to break loose. When he first told me about Mary, he made the comment that if anyone has a problem with her as his friend can forget about it. When we had our rough patch a while ago, he had dinner with her and it was no big deal. Someone please calm me down!! IP: Logged |
AcousticGod
Knowflake Posts: 7817
From: Pleasanton, CA
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted September 06, 2013 01:38 PM
He does sound overly defensive of her, but it may just be that they're really old, really good friends. They may have really good rapport that wouldn't lead to any sort of romantic involvement. That can happen. There's a reason he's with you and not her, but there's also probably a reason to keep her around. We Capricorns often only take on a few really good friends.IP: Logged |
Steph314
Newflake Posts: 13
From: CT, YSA
Registered: Feb 2013
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posted September 06, 2013 03:45 PM
A good friend from work she is. I got the call from him at 9:47pm gnat he was home. And I am actually waiting for him to get home right now. Yeah, I thought of what you said about how I am the one with him. Like I said I met the lady and she was with another guy. I read somewhere that they want to make sure you are liked by their family and I had that validated last weekend. My family still worries about the crack about not being in love after 3 weeks, I chalk it up to that just maybe there was an attraction, but not wanting to fail a 3rd time, it was a defense mechanism. I only care about the present not the past. I truly appreciate your insight!IP: Logged |
Steph314
Newflake Posts: 13
From: CT, YSA
Registered: Feb 2013
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posted September 29, 2013 04:24 PM
Still with my Capricorn man and no physical intimacy yet. Hints towards it. Slept in the same bed again last night. A lot of snuggling and he even said he doesn't know what his life would be like if I wasn't in it. No I love you yet, although last week ge cracked one of his goofy wisecracks and as I was smiling and shaking my head he said well that's the reason you love me isn't it? So I said its one of the reasons. I guess we are getting there, but that annoying Pisces insecurity gets through every once in a while! IP: Logged |
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