posted September 03, 2013 05:09 PM            

Very idealistic, very spiritual connection to begin with, alot of fantasy involved. We dated for 6months (but not officially girlfriend or boyfriend) However when reality hit it was sobering , eventually he saw me as "not good enough" or himself as not good enough, because of his high expectations. Even though we are not together i have a feeling he sometimes thinks about me, our spiritual connection is amazing but unfortunately has no place for reality.

We will always view eachother idealistically as the romance that never was. I still remember when we agreed to seperate and not see eachother again, because he told me he was bad for me (that was the true reality behind neptune's illusion) I knew of his past relationships (cheating, scorpio stinging (He has mars and mercury in scorp all in the 11th house – also ruled by scorpio)) not to mention his behaviour, he just loves women and the variety. (Sag ascendant + badly aspected venus/Uranus aspects) Aries moon + lilith, making him impulsive to these attractions. The last time we saw eachother was like something out of a movie, we where at the trainstation (because he lives further away from me) I was waiting for my train home, and we said goodbye as usual – nothing fancy, he left. However, I found out my train had been delayed for an hour and told him this by text. That would be an hour I would never forget. He phoned me, concerned, and he agreed to wait with me for my train. (He even cancelled his plans for the night just to stay with me) I met with him again and we both sat on the steps outside. I told him how I appreciate who he is as a person (even the bad side )

I could actually see in his eyes he was going to cry, but he didn’t. He said to me “But I’m bad for you.” I knew this was also true, there was no denying neptune’s disillusionment. But I also suspected this was because he thought he wasn’t good enough for me? He referred to me as a queen behind my back, referencing song lyrics on facebook , lyrics about him being a victim in love (and I just knew they were aimed towards our situation – even though he did not admit this). I told him what my view was on relationships, and how it would be alright if we were not together, I had a slight lump in my throat because I felt saddened that our love for eachother could not be in the physical world. “It’s so sad, because I want to love you and make you happy. It makes me sad that we can’t be together.” He says. I could feel that he was feeling the same, but we came to a mature and mutual agreement that we would not take the relationship further into commitment territory. He told me “You’ll always be beautiful to me. You have no reason to feel bad” I could feel the sadness, but a beautiful kind of sadness. We both stood up and walked back to the station, for the very last time we embraced warmly and I felt his hand touch my neck as we went to kiss eachother passionately. I could literally feel his soul melding with my own. I asked him “Will we ever see eachother again?” he replied “Maybe in another time. But now we should remain friends.” He still embraced me. My train was coming, I didn’t want to leave his arms or spiritual presence. I sat on the train, looking at him from the window, as he was looking at me too. The sadness was too much, but I didn’t cry. Finally the train started to move and we drifted apart from eachother, I spent the whole journey thinking of him and looking into the sunset, reflecting of how great our times where together, but also a sense of liberation from neptune’s disillusion (we both saw big flaws in eachother, but it didn’t end up bad and messy, we both mutually agreed to not invest into a relationship, I am glad we didn’t, the amount of manipulation that would occur would be destructive) We talked afterwards for a week, keeping our boundaries, but he has slowly drifted away now that Neptune has done its work. Even though we will speak casually on occasion, it isn’t as intense. I will always have a special place in my heart for him, even though reality is almost non existent between us both. I still think of our goodbye as an idealistic goodbye, lovers that never where but could have been, he was my dream man, but unfortunately was not meant to be.