posted October 08, 2013 07:24 PM            

I think the notion that trines and sextiles are too weak to be really felt is a silly stereotype in astrology. I can certainly feel them!

I don't think soft aspects are 'weak' anymore then a think hard aspects are always 'bad'. They are just different styles of energy...

Soft aspects (as in trines and sextiles) are a smooth flow of energy that happens so naturally that they don't require that much effort to get the ball rolling. Events seem to slide by with ease. Soft aspects promote contentment with the current order of things because everything is working well (If it ain't broke don't fix it). Soft aspects are about being happy with the status quo, agreement and harmony with others, and the joy of everything going 'right'. Soft aspect promote stability. A good amount of them is said to be good for lasting relationships, because we are usually pleased with what we have with soft aspects. Lets faces it, in some areas of life we want consistency, and to be able to trust that a certain level of agreement and support will always be there between us and a partner. However, it's also true that too many soft aspects are said to promote a stagnant feeling, as if we're always sticking to the same routines.

In synastry, soft aspects give us sense of natural flow with another person, as if we’re tuned into the same frequency of understanding, and want the same things. There’s a tendency to agree with the partner where soft aspects are concerned, and to develop established ways of doing things together which are subject to little change. Soft aspects promote friendship and liking between people. These aspects have a way of generating sweet ’warm fuzzies’ where you feel as if you just want to hug the other person because they ’get’ you, and make life easier for you in certain ways. Soft aspects in synastry promote helpfulness between partners, and like a relief form the stress and misery in other areas of life.

Hard aspects (as in squares and oppositions that is, conjunctions are a little different) are more dynamic then soft aspects because they are about two different forces confronting in some way. With hard aspects we are forced to exert effort, and make changes. There's no choice but to react and take action. Hard aspects can indicate challenges, and problems to be overcome, but they also provide excitement and activity. The impetus for change, and the feeling that we really need to 'work' on an issue comes from hard aspects. Hard aspects show where and how we're going to disagree with others, and be forced to compromise, and make changes within a relationship. The good thing about hard aspects is that they can inspire growth. The bad thing about hard aspects is that they require hard work, and too many of them can be exhausting.

In synastry, hard aspects add a dramatic, dynamic quality to the relationship, where there’ll be periodic upheavals, changes, and rearrangements to the way things are. Excitement, activity and crises are common where hard aspects are concerned, and hard synastry gives partners the feeling that they have to work hard together to get through the craziness in their lives. Hard aspects can go one of two ways in relationships. Sometimes they can lead to resentment because the other person tends to create problems for us, and make us go out of our way in order to ‘fix’ what’s wrong. In these cases, hard aspects can end up creating aversions between people where they can’t be bothered dealing with the other person’s ‘drama’. On the other hand, sometimes hard aspects generate the feeling between partners that they’ve been through, ‘so much’ together, and are willing to do whatever it takes to preserve their relationship. In these cases, hard aspects can create passionate devotion, that has an almost desperate quality…

This is one of the major differences between hard and soft aspects: Soft aspects make us really like the other person, and have positive friendly feelings for them. Hard aspects can make us either love or hate (sometimes both) the other person with passionate intensity, and whatever the case may be our feelings about that person will be extreme. Hard aspects can inspire and invigorate us, or irritate us to no end. I think a lot of how this manifests depends on the people involved, what they like, and their maturity levels.

Conjunctions are in a league of their own. They are like a fusion of energy busting forth together, and they're about having a spontaneous feeling of identification with another, like we've found a kindred spirit. Conjunctions make us feel as if were one with another with regard to whatever planets are conjunct in synastry. They're intense and the vibe they have changes depending on the planets involved.

The general recommendation for synastry is a majority of soft aspects with a few hard aspects thrown in there for 'spice'. However, the proportions of soft aspects vs hard aspects needed in synastry for each person will very. Some people actually crave the struggle and invigoration of plenty of squares and opps, and few soft aspects. Whereas others enjoy the sweet harmony, and contentment of many soft aspects, with few hard aspects.

Soft aspects promote security, while hard aspects generate excitement. What each person wants and can handle depends on their natal chart and personal taste. A pretty good guide of what each person expects is shown by their own natal chart. A person with lots of hard aspects in the natal chart would have a higher tolerance for hard aspects in synastry overall. A person with a lot of soft aspects in the natal chart would have less of a tolerance of hard aspects overall. What is considered 'good' synastry changes somewhat for each individual.

Then of course, that planets involved in aspects matter too. Some people might be perfectly fine with someone squaring their Venus with Uranus, but shiver at the thought of a Venus/Saturn square because they love freedom and hate to be controlled. Others might be fine with squares or opps to Mars because they like to physically challenge themselves, while a square to their Mercury might drive them up the wall because their physically minded and can be bothered arguing all the time. Different people will have their own unique little preferences about where and how they like to be aspected. Exploring these is particularly interesting.

So in conclusion, soft aspects are not weak, they just promote consistency. But if someone were addicted to excitement, drama, and regular drastic changes in their lives, they might not think soft aspects provide enough oohhmph. If, on the other hand, someone prefers 'drama-free' peace and security, and find endless amounts of issues to tackle exhausting, then the smooth flow of soft aspects are for them.

Okay, now I have some questions for everybody. What type of synastry do you like and how do you think this relates to the rest of your chart? Are there certain hard aspects you can not stand? Or certain hard aspects that you don’t mind or actually love? What about soft aspects, do you consider them dull? Or do you need certain kinds of soft aspects to be present in order to like a synastry?

Do you have any Synastry ‘must haves’? Or any synastry ‘must not haves’?

posted October 08, 2013 07:35 PM            

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Soft aspects promote security, while hard aspects generate excitement

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^The core of the topic thread.
In truth, all aspects are harmonising aspects, just in different ways!

posted October 09, 2013 03:53 AM            

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LotisWhite: What type of synastry do you like and how do you think this relates to the rest of your chart?

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Invigorating.

Natally I have Venus (H1-8 ruler) sq Mars(H7 ruler), Venus trine Pluto(H2 ruler), Uranus(H5 ruler) trines Sun and conjuncts Saturn.

quote:

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Are there certain hard aspects you can not stand?

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Squares to my Mars, mostly Cancer positions. Squares to my Sun (H11 ruler).

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Or certain hard aspects that you don’t mind or actually love?

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Oppostions to my Venus,Mars,Uranus,Sun...! Squares to Mercury : brilliant. Really, I love them all. My CR is Venus,on MC, and I think the reason I like oppositions is because of their Venusian - relating quality. Also, I don't have oppositions natally. Oppostions bring out the Libran in me.

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What about soft aspects, do you consider them dull?

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Not dull; I've experienced more sextiles than trines,when I think back on it...! I can take the energy/devotion/relationship for granted though,like I am a little whimsy lady, and they'll tend to all my wishes just because I am irresistible and sweet.

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Or do you need certain kinds of soft aspects to be present in order to like a synastry?

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Yes, I need, either to Sun or Moon, my Chart Ruler- essential compatibility, in my opinion. Harmony between my Sun, Mars or Jupiter and their = planets that form your attitude about what kind of life you want and how you go about it to achieve it. I wouldn't mind conjunctions or oppositions.

quote:

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Do you have any Synastry ‘must haves’? Or any synastry
‘must not haves’?

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Must haves - his Sun conj my Moon = Dream. his Venus in Sag trine my Mars in Aries = Dream. his Sun - my Venus = perfect. His Venus,Sun - my Asc = hot.

posted October 09, 2013 05:47 AM            

I haven't got squares in my chart, and I usually find oppositions easier to deal with then squares. I have oppositions in my chart and on some deep level I just understand that energy better and know how to work it. I can handle oppositions in synastry quite well.

Although, I do believe that a square or two is necessary for me in synastry probably for this reason. I don’t have square energy in my chart and so I need it in synastry. My tolerance for squares is limited to about three, any more then that and they get overwhelming. I can handle many soft aspects however, and I just love them.

There are certain hard aspects that I just can’t stand. Squares and oppositions to my Chiron, especially from harsh planets like Mars or Saturn really do seem to hurt me one way or another. These people tend to make me feel unaccepted or rejected somehow. I’d prefer to avoid this.

I have Pluto in the 11th house and squares to my Pluto are really frightening for me, and tend to bring me drama and trouble in social groups. I’ve noticed this with both transits and synastry. Another big avoid for me.

I can’t handle uncompensated for hard aspects to Chiron and Pluto. By uncompensated, I mean if there’s hard aspects to these placements but no soft aspects to make up for it. I can’t handle uncompensated hard aspects to my Moon either. I’ve got a sensitive Cancer Moon that needs a soft place to anchor itself to.

One type of hard aspect that I really do love is Venus oppositions…. To pretty much everything except my Saturn. I might make the other person feel rejected without meaning too, with this aspect. I have an enormous love for Venus conjunctions as well. Just love them.

Any conjunctions involving the four love planets... Sun, Moon, Venus, and Mars, tend to be wonderful. Especially in yin/yang pairs.

I’ve noticed that squares between the love planets have a kind of desperate, romantically frustrating quality to them that can be very moving. But for the long-term I don’t think I could handle an aspect like this if it weren’t compensated for by other soft aspects to the same planets in my chart.

Oppositions involving these planets don't seem as bad to me as squares, and in some cases are actually quite lovely, except for Mars Opp Moon.

I’m one of those people that really, really loves soft aspects, and I don’t consider them dull. I especially love Venus/Mars trines (and conjunctions), and Moon/Moon trines. My 7th house ruler is Mercury, and Mercury trines and sextiles tend to put me in a positive, affectionate mood, similar to Venus trines and sextiles. Needless to say, I love these aspects.

posted October 09, 2013 07:55 AM            

Personally i love 4th harmonic aspects for attention, and the 3rd (and 6th) harmonic aspects for comfort and ease.

I usually don`t pay attention to big orbs; but given my reaction to a certain gentleman I might be inclined to pay the trine of my Venus to his Mars-Jupiter-conjunction a bit more attention, even though it is 4-5 degrees wide. though maybe I am just missing the real trigger of that chemistry I feel. lol

I also pay attention to "closed circuits".
If a square or opposition interconnects with trines/ sextiles, that might be a nice mix.

Other than that I strive on square-energy. lol Well, not in every case, just for the sexual planets and Jupiter.

posted October 09, 2013 09:29 AM            

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posted October 09, 2013 02:49 PM            

I've noticed the squares are worse. I can't stand square relationships at all. When I look back, I notice the signs I tended to really like were trine or sextiles to my sun and my sun is all trines and sextiles to all the planets in my chart.

posted October 09, 2013 05:29 PM            

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Originally posted by Taineberry:
In my chart I dont have any trines between the planets and only one sextile. Personally, soft aspects between planets in synastry dont really interest me much and I wonder if this is because that type of energy is unfamiliar to me. I tend to go for lots of squares, oppositions, inconjuncts, conjunctions which dominate my natal chart.

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Originally posted by Lily:
I have all trines and sextiles and that's what I like in Synastry . I've noticed that I really dislike square and oppositions stuff. I don't have the energy for all the conflict with squares and opps. I just don't see the point of fighting with them bc I know it'll never last anyway. I will just get quiet and tune them out and that's the beginning of the end. I won't stay with someone I have to fight with all the time or "keep in line." I HATE relationships where there's always bickering over dumb stuff or where I need to constantly fight for every little thing. I'd prefer less fighting but really big fights less frequently that are actually purposeful, like over something important and that can be resolved, instead of little fights all the time over nothing, that will never be resolved because they're over nothing. That just spells a lifetime of misery to me and I don't want that.

I've noticed the squares are worse. I can't stand square relationships at all. When I look back, I notice the signs I tended to really like were trine or sextiles to my sun and my sun is all trines and sextiles to all the planets in my chart.

I think if your chart is stressed, especially sun moon or Venus, you'll need cray relationships that are kinda unstable, you won't be happy with a relationship that's full of easy energy and vice versa for someone with those planets in easy aspect to each other in the natal.

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posted October 09, 2013 06:15 PM            

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Originally posted by Ceridwen:

I also pay attention to "closed circuits".
If a square or opposition interconnects with trines/ sextiles, that might be a nice mix.

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Yes. In my chart I've got a Venus/Jupiter opposition that's harmonized by a Saturn sextile/trine to both ends of the opposition. And I quite like hard/soft 'closed circuit' aspect configurations in synastry too.

This needs some proper astrological terminology. I referred to them as compensated for hard aspects in my OP, but yeah it needs a more official term.

Ceri, it's interesting that you mention your Moon quincunx in relation to needing mixed aspect closed circuits.

It's the same for me. I've got Venus quincunx Moon, and I like having soft aspects to both Venus and the Moon in synastry, that in turn make hard aspects to Venus and the Moon.

Example: My Moon is 29 Cancer and is trined by a planet at 29 Pisces... My Venus is 29 Sag and is sextiled by a planet at 29 Libra....

However, in my chart the Pisces planet will also square my Sag Venus, and the Libra planet will square my Cancer Moon.

These types of synastry configurations happen when people with natal quincunxes, semi-sextiles, and squares in their charts, at the same degrees, meet up with each other. Each person will compensate for the other person's quincunx, semi-sextile or square.

posted October 09, 2013 11:36 PM            

I've also notice I need to be the Pluto person in synastry.
Unless it's a double whammy.. Then I'm all over it, like flies on honey..
If the guy is Pluto, and my Pluto isn't really hitting one of his personal planets, I don't really like him..

Now here's the biggie, all this above goes out the door in the composite...
Having hard Saturn in composite is ok, but not in synastry.
If Pluto is aspected I'm good. .

posted October 10, 2013 07:23 AM            

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Originally posted by Lotis White:

I like this type of scenario in connection with my Moon/Venus quincunx. The quincunx is such an awkward, 'tip toeing' aspect that I like when the energy from it is released by a flowing aspect, and a direct confronting aspect.

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Yes, same here.

My quinkunx is also exact (Moon on 17 Aqua and Saturn on 17 Cancer, and actually I have Juno on 17 Pisces, which might figure in).

I suspect this is one of the deeper reasons I am so heavily drawn to Saturnian energy (though it is not easy at the same time). not just cappy in another`s chart, but 10th house placements and especially a natal or synastric aspect of Saturn to Sun or Moon specifically.
This doesn`t happen with my Venus though. I can`t really remember ever having had someones Saturn aspecting my Venus or Mars and me feeling affected (my Venus and Mars like Jupiter or Pluto).

Anyway, going back in time, I guess it starts w ith my parents, who both make a closed circuit with my Moon-Saturn-quinkunx.

Dad:
° Venus-Jupiter on 14-12 Aquarius
° Pluto on 17 Leo
° Neptune on 17 Libra
° Saturn and ASC on 18 Virgo (!) - this is the important one btw. lol

Mum:
° Venus-Mars on 18 and 14 Virgo
° Uranus on 14 Cancer

it doesn`t stop there, as my best friend has

° Sun on 18 Virgo
° Moon on 16 Aries
(we make a lot of Yods with each other, luckily our Moons are nicely sextile each other)

another friend of mine:

° Sun-Saturn-MC on 15-14 Aquarius
° Mars on 14 Leo
° Neptune on 15 Scorpio
but also
° ASC on 15 Cancer
° Jupiter on 16 Pisces

My first crush ever had his Sun on 16 Aries and his NN on 16 Leo (putting my Moon onto his SN) and boy did he ever trigger the Moon-Saturn-mechanism in me!

Add to that that Moon rules the 8th house and is in 2nd house and Saturn rules the 2nd house and sits in 8th, it gets quite deep there, and very serious.
I guess, as much fun a fling would be, I wouldn´t fare well with any kind of superficial affair. lol

posted October 10, 2013 05:33 PM            

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Originally posted by Ceridwen:
btw lotus,

what orb do you use for trine and sextile in synastry?

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Hi Ceri,

posted October 10, 2013 05:57 PM            

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A person with lots of hard aspects in the natal chart would have a higher tolerance for hard aspects in synastry overall. A person with a lot of soft aspects in the natal chart would have less of a tolerance of hard aspects overall.

[/B]

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What?? I would say the completely opposite. A person with many hard aspects in their own chart is probably easily stressed out. And if they find another person like this, it's gonna be like hell. Nonono, I think a person with a hard natal chart is really blessed if they find a balanced person with a good synastry.

quote:

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Do you have any Synastry ‘must haves’? Or any synastry ‘must not haves’?

[/B]

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I cannot take pluto squares or oppositions to my personal planets. If I have this in synastry I will avoid the person. These aspects generate jealousy and power-struggles and that is not my cup of tea.

posted October 10, 2013 11:34 PM            

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Originally posted by next to neptune:
What?? I would say the completely opposite. A person with many hard aspects in their own chart is probably easily stressed out. And if they find another person like this, it's gonna be like hell. Nonono, I think a person with a hard natal chart is really blessed if they find a balanced person with a good synastry.

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Hi, would you say you have primarily a hard aspect chart or a soft aspect chart? Are you a hard aspect type who like soft aspect synastry?

quote:

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Originally posted by next to neptune:
I cannot take pluto squares or oppositions to my personal planets. If I have this in synastry I will avoid the person. These aspects generate jealousy and power-struggles and that is not my cup of tea.

A must have is aspects between venus in both charts. There has to be something. And also some moon aspects. Moon and venus is the love planets, without them there is nothing... and also some mars aspects - without sexual attraction there isn't gonna be a relationship.

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Yeah, I’m not a big fan of Pluto hard aspects in synastry either, especiallly if it’s MY Pluto that’s being stressed. My 11th house Pluto gives me trouble in groups when it’s squared, and I dislike that kind of drama. Gimme peace please! Funnily enough, I’m somewhat more okay with giving harsh aspects to someone else’s Pluto, as long as they don’t mind it (as in, their not like me who hates to have my Pluto squared).

posted October 13, 2013 09:16 AM            

"eah, I’m not a big fan of Pluto hard aspects in synastry either, especiallly if it’s MY Pluto that’s being stressed."
Interesting.
It seems that I am pulled towards those I share hard Pluto aspects with.
Even in friendships that one turns up, and it hasn`t been destructive, but giving it a lot of depth and inability to hide.
It demands a lot of emotional honesty though and that can make it exhausting at times. But as long as there is genuine sympathy as a basis, the Pluto-aspects are good for growth in my case, and for making people stick together.

However, my best friend also has her natal Pluto conjunct MErcury, Venus, Mars and opposite Moon and square ASC. So I guess we both have something in common there.
For someone without hard Pluto-aspects the intensity would maybe feel a little uncomfortable.

Friendships without strong Pluto aspects, usually are not deep enough for me.

HOwever Pluto rules my 11th house and Mars and Venus rule her 11th house, so this means that our 11th house rulers are conjunct, as my Pluto is on 9 Libra and her Venus and Mars on 11 Libra.

posted October 14, 2013 01:20 PM            

I agree with your insight on Synastry. I would, also, like to add.

From my point of view, Synastry is like fortune telling, people seek out its results to see what they have. They want to know, do the results suggest a favorable future together? Quite naturally, then, some conjunctions and most trines and sextiles serve their purpose of presenting a pretty picture. But, as you may know, the squares and oppositions do pepper the Synastry charts. Those aspects then become the focus and the question becomes, (Which of those suggested squares and opposition influences do you want to accept?).

I believe you are correct, when you say that the natal chart does reflect what your Synastry Chart shows. For instances, lets say someone has a Venus (VE) exact conjunction Mars (MR) in the natal chart. How would that conjunction manifest itself in the Synastry Chart?

Here are the results of the aspect combination patterns:

Synastry Aspect Results - For Someone With A Natal VE conj. MR Aspect

Key:

The other person's planets ---->> to the natal VE conj. MR (small insight on the potential)

Sun conjunct ---->> VE Conj. MR (Sun conj MR may upset the wagon. Financially favorable.)

Moon conjunct ---->> VE Conj. MR (Moon conj. MR, in this case, creates sexual energy as well as a tendency to argue.)

North Node conjunct ---->> VE Conj. MR (reflects public approval of the unit.)

Mercury conjunct ---->> VE Conj. MR (MY conj. MR, strong forceful communications that are both stressful and productive.)

Venus conjunct ---->> VE Conj. MR (JACKPOT !! This is love (to include sexual) and affection all over the place. Financially favorable.)

Mars conjunct ---->> VE Conj. MR (MR conj. MR presents the strong potential for fighting between the parties of the unit.)

Jupiter conjunct ---->> VE Conj. MR (JACKPOT !! = Prosperity in the unit. Financially favorable.)

Saturn conjunct ---->> VE Conj. MR (This needs favorable aspect support from the rest of the Synastry Chart, in order to show a lasting union with the potential to resolve problems. Financially favorable.)

Uranus conjunct ---->> VE Conj. MR (UR conj. MR suggest strong surprising mishaps - good and or bad.)

Neptune conjunct ---->> VE Conj. MR (A possible Soul Union, but NP conj. MR requires more intellectual aspect help within the chart.)

Pluto conjunct ---->> VE Conj. MR (A passionate and potentially obsessive and possessive bond. Financially favorable.)

All of these aspect combinations will show up at one time or another in the Synastry Chart of someone who has a natal aspect of VE conj. MR. In order, for someone, to find a good Synastry Chart will depend on, which of the other person's natal planets are aspecting that Venus conjunct Mars natal aspect.

But, there are yet, other aspects, that are part of the natal chart for the VE conj. MR person, that are not shown in the natal chart. AND, which are equally important. A VE conj. MR aspect in a natal chart will, also, produce these aspects in his / her Synastry Chart too; (sextile VE sextile MR), (square VE square MR), (trine VE trine MR) and, (opposition VE opposition MR).

In order for people to know what a good Synastry Chart is for each of them, it may help to know, what kind of aspect combinations affects their Synastry Chart. And, this information can only be found in a unique and specially constructed Vertical SunCycle Calendar.

You can find an example of Bill Gates's Vertical SunCycle Calendar through here:
http://risingpeople.wix.com/synastry-aspecting#!untitled/c14ra

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