posted October 18, 2013 04:25 PM
I realised I should add a little something besides astrology here, as yes, you're sharing a personal experience with which I can relate.We had been friends, and he was VERY intense in his focus upon me (he was a senior, while I was a new sophomore). Somehow, and God knows how, he'd find a way to clear the room without really even doing anything. I'd just notice we were suddenly alone! That fascinated me; I freely admit now that a lot of that went into the development of a character I'd create my first semester of college - which is now becoming a TV series - which is neither here nor there. But it absolutely fascinated me - I couldn't admit that for a LONG time. 'Til ... last year. Maybe this one! (I'm 33.) So don't feel weak or shy or anything in regards to handling your jumble of feelings here. It's ALL okay.
Do you hear me? It's ALL okay.
If you can get that while you're young - you'll be leaps ahead of the curve.
Anyhow, he literally stalked me, but in a bizarre, protective fashion. Prime example was when I had been assaulted by a fellow student for - are you ready for this? - reporting that the synastry he had with his current girlfriend was bad. I'm not even joking! He actually hit me he was so furious. Luckily, his ass also got expelled.
But that was the beginning. (I wish I had his chart handy! It's somewhere. I'll have to dig it up. Must be some intense Mars there.) Still, this gives a perfect example of what I'm talking about.
Sometimes, I'd stay a bit late at school for whatever reason, and it was such a tiny school (only 70 or so of us) it'd clear out very quickly. In ten minutes after the bell, everyone could be gone.
On one such occasion, my ride was late, and I was simply waiting outside of the school, when the expelled student came up the walk out of nowhere. To be frank, I have no idea what he was going to do. I was certainly ready to defend myself with whatever I had on my person. (I had actually stabbed someone with a pen once; long story, except he deserved it.) Unfortunately, it was a weekend, and I had no need to bring any books back with me. About all I had were some pens - and my keys.
Of course, this guy was 6' 2" to my 5' 3". Athletic. All that. Even if here, he looked like he hadn't slept in days. His eyes were wild and his hair far from the perfect coiffed look he'd sport when he was enrolled. In law enforcement, that's called a 'high priority target' - or one that's very likely to offend given present circumstances.
Yeah, not good.
So he's coming up the walk, and EVERYONE else has gone home - teachers, administrators, students. The lights are off, the building is empty, the doors are closed. The adjacent building, which houses a deli, was even closed for some repairs that day. You could not ask for worse circumstances.
To clarify: I'm not saying he would have killed me. I'm saying that he was acting irrationally; being expelled from a top school with hopes of his future now dashed (he was a graduating senior) had painted a HUGE target on my back. He simply wasn't thinking - at all, and at that age, consequences don't even register. He was simply out for blood. Mine. How that would've played out? No idea.
I was very organised - ranking at the top of the school in terms of GPA and that sort of overachieving know-it-all at which everyone rolls their eyes but sort of accepts because they're friendly and well-meaning. So the fact I'd left my pencil box in my locker because of my lacking homework (it was a Friday) meant I'd have to hope that I could dig in my purse fast enough for my keys, or something, and have it ready by the time he got to me.
He'd shouted out from the street. He was smiling, and friendly at first. Walking at a normal pace. But as he closed in, I could see the cold fury in his eyes, warming as he approached. I rummaged and started strafing; he matched my trajectory. Fortunately, I had learnt some evasive manoeuvres that summer, so I did the only thing I could; taking the necessary chance, I kept grasping desperately for a pen or anything in my purse, keeping my eyes on him, and taking a step FORWARD so that I could get out of the enclave, which would guarantee that I'd have no exit route - as, again, the doors were locked.
I lightly jogged forward; he knew I was trying to clear myself of the bee-line as he was heading straight for me. He started RUNNING towards me.
It happened REALLY fast. To this day, I'm still kind of confused as to exactly WHAT even happened. Some of it is extremely vivid and therefore salient. Other parts - just a blur.
I was nearly thrown back by my own momentum as he stopped, pulled back.
Yes. By him.
Somehow, God knows how, he came from - somewhere! - a tree? Around the corner of the building? Was he lying on the cobblestone out of view - and he saw him coming up the walk, and instead of draw my attention to him, he chose to act? Or was he just going to play a prank and scare me? It's all a mystery, as we don't talk about these things.
All I know is that he had him in some kind of choke hold; I recognised the familiar stance and hand placement. The expression on his face was practically blank.
He was calm, collected, and potentially going to snap his neck.
That didn't surprise me at all, actually. It's a longer story as to why.
My would-be offender was appropriately stunned, and terrified. Curses flew in his face - and he remained calm. He said something to him - only to him, beneath his breath and into his ear. His eyes stayed on me - THAT much I remember, because, God. His eyes. Augh. I felt stripped bare by them so many times; a horrible, terrifying, unnerving, thing, the teenage me couldn't handle in the least.
My attacker stared at me, saying nothing. The whole thing lasted several seconds; whatever he said, several more. He nodded imperceptibly - because his head was rather stationary. Then he let him go.
He walked forward to me, slowly, but not looking at me, apologising - yes, APOLOGISING. Then turned on his heel, and fast-walked away.
I'll never know, but I'm almost certain he threatened his life. And if HE threatened someone's life - it wasn't idle. That action (actually, assaulting me at all) had made the sh*t list; but he was out of the school, so not really a problem. It's when he came back - for the sole purpose of terrorising me - that he became a problem.
He had a very ... forceful way of handling my 'problems'.
Thank God my ride was coming down the street, because I'm not sure what I was supposed to do. I know I thanked him, but I'm not sure if I forgave him for trying to kill my boyfriend.
It was weird to see him here, outside of the time in which I agreed, or allowed, myself to talk to him at all: during the lunch hour, in the study hall area, which was always empty - except for us. There's a reason for that, too.
Otherwise, I avoided him, and he respected that. We might nod to each other in the hall - if we're going right by each other. Small halls, after all. Or acknowledge each other the same way if one was in a room where the other was going. Most of the time, he other would just go somewhere else.
There's a reason for all of that.
But the long and short of it is ... he certainly changed my life. And, who knows, maybe that day he actually saved it.
I almost - almost! - had the guts to go to dinner with him when he was briefly in my city for a few days last year. But when I realised I couldn't allow myself to go unarmed - JUST in case - I nixed the idea.
Welcome to my life.
Unless you have a lot of Scorpio or Pluto (but you do, don't you?) you won't end up as much of a Persephone. In either case, yes, you go to the Underworld. But you emerge from it a Queen.
Lindaland
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posted October 18, 2013 11:34 AM
