posted October 24, 2013 10:45 AM            

I have a tight stellium in my 12th and was verbally and physically abused by my mentally ill brother my entire childhood.

It has made my ability to trust men very guarded except that my father was and still is my hero.

When Daddy was home from work I was always safe, it was Mom who turned a blind eye.

posted October 30, 2013 10:01 PM            

God, I am sooo the opposite once I got into college. It's all about community, people, and parties. My kids and I are known for the super creative parties. I always have all the children here.

I have Jupiter, Neptune, Mars and moon in my 12th. I think people use us to vent their anger, frustrations. What is it about the 12th housers that we somehow attract a dysfunctional relationship.
- Are we too empathetic and give others the benefit of the doubt?
- Are we so used to hiding parts of ourselves that it's easier to keep secrets?
-Do we feel that our voice has been disabled and we have no choice but to endure?
-Or are we cowards and just don't stand up for ourselves?

I am in a relationship with an Ares sun and mars. I did not know what I was getting into. My inability to express anger and all he does is express anger! Arghh

I have not given up, I have learned he is pushing me in a corner and I have no choice but to use my anger. My anger was completely unacceptable as I was growing up. I had to pretend that everything was fine. I could never express my frustrations. I often wonder how on earth did I not go nuts. Through my husband and how messy if feels to me I have learned to be a strong courageous woman. One who can speak up and fight for what I believe in no matter what. My mate has taught me a lot about myself and a lot of who you can become.

So I have learned maybe the easy fun may be nice but relationships that force you out of the childhood mold no matter how painful are better???

I am completely capable of expressing myself - no more doormat.

posted October 30, 2013 10:08 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by LuckyStar:
I am wondering in there are others out there who notice a packed 12th brings on situations of victimization in childhood?

I have a tight stellium in my 12th and was verbally and physically abused by my mentally ill brother my entire childhood.

It has made my ability to trust men very guarded except that my father was and still is my hero.

When Daddy was home from work I was always safe, it was Mom who turned a blind eye.

Would anyone out there like to share their experiences?

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I know moon in the 12th can indicate abuse in childhood specially from mother.

*****I am curious do you have mercury in the 12th?? or is the ruler of your third house in the 12th house?? or is the ruler of your 12th house mercury??*****

What planets are involved in this stellium?

I personally have uranus conjunct jupiter in the 12th and both planets conjunct my ascendant.

I thankfully did not experience any abuse growing up from nobody.

posted October 30, 2013 10:11 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by PixieJane:
Child abuse (and abuse by siblings) and dysfunctional relationships are so common that I can't think it's limited to the 12H.

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Yes! Maybe it's not necessarily a twelfth house issue.

posted October 30, 2013 10:16 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by LuckyStar:
Oh yes, the isolation. My mother totally isolated us as we were growing up. It was sad, everything was a bother to her. Driving us to playdates, extra curricular activities. So she dissuaded us and we sat and rotted in that house. Isolation= boredom = death

God, I am sooo the opposite once I got into college. It's all about community, people, and parties. My kids and I are known for the super creative parties. I always have all the children here.

I have Jupiter, Neptune, Mars and moon in my 12th. I think people use us to vent their anger, frustrations. What is it about the 12th housers that we somehow attract a dysfunctional relationship.
- Are we too empathetic and give others the benefit of the doubt?
- Are we so used to hiding parts of ourselves that it's easier to keep secrets?
-Do we feel that our voice has been disabled and we have no choice but to endure?
-Or are we cowards and just don't stand up for ourselves?

I am in a relationship with an Ares sun and mars. I did not know what I was getting into. My inability to express anger and all he does is express anger! Arghh

I have not given up, I have learned he is pushing me in a corner and I have no choice but to use my anger. My anger was completely unacceptable as I was growing up. I had to pretend that everything was fine. I could never express my frustrations. I often wonder how on earth did I not go nuts. Through my husband and how messy if feels to me I have learned to be a strong courageous woman. One who can speak up and fight for what I believe in no matter what. My mate has taught me a lot about myself and a lot of who you can become.

So I have learned maybe the easy fun may be nice but relationships that force you out of the childhood mold no matter how painful are better???

I am completely capable of expressing myself - no more doormat.

---

Anything connected to neptune usually gives us a savior complex even though we may not be aware of it so hence why perhaps the attraction towards dysfunctional relationship.

We are attracted to people romantically or not romantically that we want HELP either by helping them become better people or improving their life or BOTH. This probably all happens unconsciously too. We are not really realizing that we pick relationships this way.

So I have sun and moon squaring neptune, moon in pisces and jupiter/uranus in the 12th this results in me choosing to invest my time on relationships and friendships with people I feel compassion for and that I want to help some how but ofcourse I also very much enjoy their company, but that need to save or help or INFLUENCE others positively for better is always there and in an unconscious level always plays a role in who I end up investing my time for.

I hope this clarified some things.

posted October 30, 2013 10:25 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by amelia28:
Anything connected to neptune usually gives us a savior complex even though we may not be aware of it so hence why perhaps the attraction towards dysfunctional relationship.

We are attracted to people romantically or not romantically that we want HELP either by helping them become better people or improving their life or BOTH. This probably all happens unconsciously too. We are not really realizing that we pick relationships this way.

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Wow! this does help. I find myself being attracting to someone who is a train wreck. I think he is a good soul and it's almost like I want to show him the way out of his misery. (Maybe that's Hekate on my ascendant?)

Regardless my gut says- "He is only your friend because he wants to sleep with you." My heart and head want to help him. I think I should stay away.

posted October 30, 2013 10:30 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by amelia28:
I know moon in the 12th can indicate abuse in childhood specially from mother.

*****I am curious do you have mercury in the 12th?? or is the ruler of your third house in the 12th house?? or is the ruler of your 12th house mercury??*****

What planets are involved in this stellium?

I personally have uranus conjunct jupiter in the 12th and both planets conjunct my ascendant.

I thankfully did not experience any abuse growing up from nobody.

---

posted October 30, 2013 10:57 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by theunknown:
I have moon in 12th and my mother didn't abuse me; she was abused; I think it is supposed to be that the mother makes sacrifice

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The 12th can also represent hidden enemies and some people here who have moon in the 12th have expressed that their mother works against them....so it can also mean an abusive mother...plenty of people here have mentioned this who have moon in the 12th..but I see what you are saying that It could mean other things as well and I agree with you.

All in all The common theme with moon in the 12th though is that childhood circumstances forced person to rely on themselves for nurturing early on whether abuse was involved or not.

Check out this link of moon in the 12th: http://12th.tribe.net/thread/c160721f-6268-42d8-bf31-897977f99188

There is paragraph in this article that reads:

"Perhaps because of traumatic experiences as a child, in which you experienced unbearable helplessness, need, and dependency in relationship to a parent who could not sensitively respond, you learned to turn to yourself early in life and to establish your self-sufficiency. "I must do it alone; I don't need anyone," you decided, as you withheld yourself emotionally in relationships, and learned how to engage with people without full involvement. Emotionally self-contained and insulated, you became a capable survivor, and learned how to effectively play the roles required of you. But often, as a result of your repression, you feel empty and depleted, out of contact with your source of inner sustenance."

Another paragraph: "Your twelfth house moon suggests that you never felt allowed to be a child. Perhaps your mother was emotionally a child herself, and wanted you to cater to her needs rather than become capable of responding to yours. She may have been deeply troubled, psychologically or physically unavailable; she may have sacrificed herself to involvements in the outer world at the expense of her family life. Whatever your situation, her negative responses to your needs and feelings, and her messages of "don't cry" "be strong" or "do it yourself" led you to believe that you had no right to have feelings. The hurt or trauma you experienced then may have resulted in a deep-seated decision never to make yourself vulnerable again. "I'd rather die than need you," you may have inwardly said to your mother, "because if I need you I will have to bear the intolerable pain of your failure to meet my needs." As you grew older, fearing the re-stimulation and opening of earlier wounds, you may have said to yourself, " I will not be dependent upon anyone ever again." "

In your case moon in the 12th like you said could be the result of your mother not been responsive towards your needs bc she was busy making sacrifices for a cause that was important to her leading her to not have enough time for family but for others it could be abuse from the mother or neglect from the mother.