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Author
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Topic: I broke up with a Libra Man
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PassionateLady
Newflake Posts: 2
From:
Registered: Sep 2013
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posted November 24, 2013 02:36 AM
  
I am a Leo female and I broke up with a Libra male a few days ago, and although it hasn't been that long I feel confused, there is a part of me that feels like I did the right thing, and a part that feels like I might have overreacted, the reason I broke up with him is because I got tired of the unsure vibe he was giving me, one minute he would make me feel like I he wanted to be with me, calling/texting me, spending time with me, being affectionate blowing off his friends for me etc.the next he wouldn't say two words to me the final straw for me was when he went nearly a month of hardly saying anything to me, he would take hours to answer my text(if he ever did text back) or say he would call me back and don't,or promise to do something with me and break it and when I confront him his response is "I forgot" or "it slipped my mind" and then he told me he has a "good friend" that is a female he says he isn't attracted to her, doesn't want to have sex with her or be with her but if he did he knows he could, yet wants me to believe she's just a "good friend" like a sister he claims because she moved to a different State when I questioned him about how does he know he can and how that would work he said "I can visit her and she can visit me" he also said they talk all the time about everything, yet with me he doesn't I even told him one time that he is so secretive.
Anyway after he told me that and everything else I finally told him that as much as I love him that I couldn't keep hurting myself and couldn't be with him anymore, I said that I am not emotionally/mentally attached/attracted to any other man, yet he is to another woman that a man wouldn't say he knows that he can sleep with his female friend unless there was some type of attraction there and they talked about it, I also told him that I am not an option that if his only reason for being with me is because he knows I'm loyal and won't cheat on him then to me that's not good enough, because if he can't trust me enough to talk about everything to me not another woman then what's the point of saying u want to be with me and to not keep me around because I'm a sure thing, that this hot&cold vibe he keeps giving me isn't fair because he knows for sure that I want to be with him but I'm no longer sure about him wanting to be with me, and that as much as I love him I can't sit around while he has me at his beck & call doing whatever it is he wants to do, and that I will not sit back and accept him being emotionally involved with another woman that if I couldn't have all of him then I wanted none of him.
Okay so the reason I am confused is because I don't know if I did the right thing by breaking up with him. I will admit that the main reason I broke up with him was due to this other woman, to me the fact that he can talk more to another woman and trust her more then he trust me really did hurt me and I am the type that if I feel I am going to compete for a mans attention I'd rather just walk away however I am sure he has never slept with anyone else while with me, even during his disappearing act idk but I am sure of that and I know women whose s/o has cheated on them in all ways and they fight to keep their relationship and I'm wondering if I should have done that(not physically)and not let my emotions get the best of me, or did I really make the right decision considering the fact that he felt it okay to let me know he can have sex with another woman if he wanted to, I mean it's not like I didn't know that as I can do the same, but I would have never said that to him especially if that someone is a so-called friend and I was trying to convince him to believe that.
Something else I would like to add we were involved with each other a few years ago and things ended, we both moved on I got married and divorced during that time, we finally got back together and he not I started initiating future talk with me he brought up marriage, kids, house, vacation, cars, etc. I told him that he didn't need to bring up these things to me because it didn't phase me as I have already been married, I am a mother, only thing I never had was a house and that if we got married and had kids together I'd be happy but if we don't I'd still be happy, I asked him if he really feels I'm the one for him and he said yes, I asked him why he feels that way and he said "we're compatible", and "that he knew I genuinely liked him for him that I didn't always want him to spend his money on me and that I was OK with us just hanging out at his or my place spending time together because I just wanted his time" he mentioned that before we split that I use to travel over an hour to see him bring him food and sleep on the floor with him even though I had a bed at home because at the time he was just getting by and couldn't afford a bed, I did tell him that I am a jealous type and that I don't like to be lied to, that he shouldn't tell me what he thinks I want to hear and to be sure he means it and more than once he said yes. And I can't understand how he switched up so much on me, I know I wasn't the perfect g/f I do sometimes have an attitude problem, but I gave him his space, if he told me he was with the guys I would say have fun, if he let me know he just wanted to relax by himself I wouldn't bother him until he contacted me, when he wanted sex I gave it to him, he could ask/tell me to do something and I would do it.
I'm sorry that I made this so long but I would like to know from ppl that are Libras, or have dated Libras did I do the right thing by breaking up with him or does it seem like I overreacted? Also do Libras()mainly men)eventually realize that the hot&cold behavior toward their s/o or being to flirtatious can damage they're relationship, or do they not care because they have other women that want them? And lastly when u call a Libra(again mainly a male)out on their indecisiveness or break up with them over it do they realize what they did and try to come back or do they not care?
I am Leo-Rising/Sun/Moon/Venus/Mercury/Jupiter. Cancer-Mars
He is Libra-Sun/Aqua-Moon/Scorpio-Mercury/Virgo-Venus&Jupiter/Sag-Mars ------------------
Yes the truth does hurt,
but I'm a big girl, I'll
accept and get over it.
It's the pretty little
lie I'll never forget. IP: Logged |
mercuryflow
Knowflake Posts: 58
From: new hampshire
Registered: Nov 2013
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posted November 24, 2013 02:52 AM
i think you did the right thing.
they can be super wishy washy, but this thing with the other woman is a red flag, imo.and if he does really want to be with you, he'll just have to prove it. IP: Logged |
12muddy
Knowflake Posts: 1046
From:
Registered: Feb 2013
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posted November 24, 2013 02:57 AM
I don't think you made a bad decision. Sounds like the relationship has given you a lot of grief.
I've dated libras who were indecisive. I broke up with them at the 1st few signs of indecisiveness. In my experience, sometimes they came back with promises, but meh. I didn't have time for that.
My husband is a libra, and he isn't inconsistent or hot and cold. IP: Logged |
DeepFreeze
Knowflake Posts: 149
From: Pluto
Registered: Nov 2013
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posted November 24, 2013 03:06 AM
I agree. I think you did the right thing. The other woman as said, red flag. How he knows that he could doesn't necessarily mean that they talked about it. There's women that I know that I could and it's just their behavior. Like one that I have once I know that I could again because of things she's always saying, how she looks at me, etc. Maybe they have in the past and that's how he knows?
Either way, it may not mean as much as you're making it out to be.
HOWEVER, he should not say that to you even he knows that. And... what's with this hot cold from all of these guys?!?! I've done it myself and we've heard about it from Cancers so it must just be men then. LOL Not any particular sign. Anyway, this is the way I look at it. I know you're emotions are all wrapped up in it. If you look at it objectively, the relationship obviously drove you nuts by making you wonder and think and worry - a lot. If you go back it's just going to be more of the same. You can't be really happy feeling that way all of the time.
I also know it's not easy to just walk away but I think that's best. Just step away, let all of the "dust" settle. Let your emotions and clear thought come back to you. Spend some time apart. A good amount of time.
That should help you see whether it's really something that you want to pursue or not and him also. These days I'm just SO no nonsense. If I have to worry about them, question their words and actions, I don't want it. I drop it right there. That's just me. I can't stand all of that draining energy. I want someone who lights up my world and for that person, I'll do my best to do the same for them. My experience with Libras (women, sorry!). They weren't indecisive at all but CERTAINLY enjoyed lots of attention from other men. They didn't cheat on me I'm positive of it. No question but I know one cheated before on someone else. IP: Logged |
PixieJane
Moderator Posts: 3274
From: CA
Registered: Oct 2010
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posted November 24, 2013 03:27 AM
Libra is indecisive for a long time as their scales tilt back and forth carefully weighing the important decisions, though once they make up their mind they can stay the course and would be just as hesitant to end a relationship as they were to fully commit themselves to it. That is once they FINALLY decide to fully commit (which will take an extremely long time by the standards of most other people) they'll also work harder than most others to keep it going through the bad times as well as the good. But this friend is likely just a friend. Libra is analytical rather than "thinking with emotion" and is prone to speaking hypothetically. And when he commented on marrying you he was more likely CONSIDERING it, the pros & cons, rather than deciding in his heart, "Yes, I want to marry her." But much more importantly Libra NEEDS many points of views to help balance out their scales. You CAN'T have ALL of him, that would be terrible for him and in turn he would become terrible to you. So if you must have all or nothing then by all means you were right to end it, for his sake as much as your own. His Sag Mars will also rebel at your attempts to be his shadow or otherwise limiting his actions & who he can socialize with. As for does Libra know their indecisiveness hurt others? Sure, and we do regret that but it's how we are and know it's better to take the time to make the right decision rather than to make an important one right away and then change our minds later (which would be even crueler). In trying to be fair and seeing all sides Libra tries to be impartial yet Libra is not indifferent. That said, a Libra, especially with Sag Mars, isn't going to understand how intense your emotions (all that Leo with Cancer Mars) are over this and would probably be disturbed, even frightened, if he realized how intense your feelings are. And Libra likes to be fair AND likes to be liked, so you may hear from this Libra again. Furthermore, they tend to be charmers who are used to getting their way (at least for the moment) and the unevolved ones can sometimes take for granted that someone who rejects them can have their mind changed by his sweet words. But for his sake as much as your own I think you should cut him out of your life. He's not the right man for you and you're not the right woman for him, you both need to find someone else. That's not to say either of you are bad, just that the two of you aren't compatible with each other. IP: Logged |
next to neptune
Knowflake Posts: 505
From: Mercury
Registered: Aug 2013
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posted November 24, 2013 04:51 AM
Get out of that… his behavior is just wrong, it really is, but that is something aquarius sun/moon/venus don't get…actually I think they can be a bit disturbed according to relationships, they are provoking, detached(hot and cold), flirtatious and they love to have close female friends
She is probably just a friend though, but it doesn't matter, it's not okay to get a friend like that while he is with you, it's a huge red flag and no matter if it is a friend or not, he don't get how disturbed it makes you and he doesn't understand how to make you relax and be okay with itSomething tells me that you probably both don't understand the true nature of your feelings, and you haven't been honest with each other… you can probably get together again, but it will just be the same…
I would say that you should listen to yourself first of all, and if you can't take all this hurting then you should move out, cause it's not worth all the pain in the end anyways, relationships cannot take a certain amount of pain and it has the be in the right way IP: Logged | |
Lindaland
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