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Author
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Topic: extramarital affair in husbands SR - is there any other interpretation possible?
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BorntoDesire
Newflake Posts: 22
From: Berlin, Germany
Registered: Dec 2013
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posted December 13, 2013 03:12 PM
  
Oh God, I was completley paralysed when I saw my husbands SR:Venus conj Mars in 12th house SR and conj natal Venus in 8th,
Pluto trines this aspect, same time Uranus conj IC!!
We are in a real good long term relationship since nearly 20 years.
To be honest, there i no range for an other interpretation...isn´t it?
Or would u see any other interpretation?
This is so surreal, it will be in 3 years and from now on i will keep waiting for this destiny to become true!!!
In general, how do you deal with the knowledge that something unpleasent is comming up!
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YoursTrulyAlways
Knowflake Posts: 6494
From:
Registered: Oct 2011
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posted December 13, 2013 04:04 PM
It's a self fulfilling prophecy. Stop dwelling on the negatives. Do something proactive to prevent anything from happenning. IP: Logged |
IndigoDirae
Knowflake Posts: 1353
From: Venice, California, US
Registered: Jul 2011
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posted December 13, 2013 04:06 PM
Holy mackerel, BTD. Take a chill pill. If there's no reason for your husband to stray and you're happily married, why would you think he would?Look more closely at your SR, and positions of VENUS and MARS. In the 12H, that could be anything from tantra to an unexpected pregnancy - especially if there's 5H involvement. Let's look at the more important factor: your fear of abandonment and a potential obsession with this 'destiny coming true'. THAT, I believe, is the issue - and the 'point' of this.
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IndigoDirae
Knowflake Posts: 1353
From: Venice, California, US
Registered: Jul 2011
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posted December 13, 2013 04:11 PM
It's not rocket science why husbands are unfaithful. These are the top 3: (you don't even need 10) • wife no longer interested in sex
• aging with unfulfilled BDSM fantasies
• untreated sex addiction (revealed due to marital difficulty, health issue, or other factor which impedes sex - can even be a new baby) But, honestly. 12H VENUS-MARS does NOT spell an affair. It can indicate your sex-life taking a backseat, for some reason, or taking on a spiritual component. I'm voting for tantra. Tantra is amazing. Oh, and therapy. If there ARE issues - VENUS/MARS in 12H with natal 8H ties: sex / marital therapy.
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Ami Anne
Moderator Posts: 50296
From: Pluto/house next to NickiG
Registered: Sep 2010
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posted December 13, 2013 04:39 PM
You can't say a guy will have an affair from the chart, I don't think.------------------
Want To Ask Any Question About Bible Prophecy? Go For it. It is Free, of course.
http://www.mychristianpsychic.com/
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IndigoDirae
Knowflake Posts: 1353
From: Venice, California, US
Registered: Jul 2011
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posted December 13, 2013 04:46 PM
quote:
Originally posted by Ami Anne:
You can't say a guy will have an affair from the chart, I don't think.
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BorntoDesire
Newflake Posts: 22
From: Berlin, Germany
Registered: Dec 2013
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posted December 13, 2013 04:47 PM
quote:
Let's look at the more important factor: your fear of abandonment and a potential obsession with this 'destiny coming true'. THAT, I believe, is the issue - and the 'point' of this. [/B]
You are so right, maybe this is the main problem!! Currently, we have a real good time together, bonding is as strong as never before - and we have best "nights" ever (Tantra is already involved!) I dont´t believe that there are ways to prevent someone else from falling in love with another person, even if the actual relationship is fulfilling. I also believe in self fulfilling prophecy, thats why i asked for your support, I need someone to calm me dowm - thx for that! He has a libra rising in this special year, and i checked my sr, and the childrens sr as well( and years befor and after this "event"), does not look good for me...but currently neptune is opposing my sun and i have so many fantasies (positiv and negative), can´t stop them. I always thougt the 12th house is the house of secret affairs!
In our SR charts a venu-mars conjunction alsways indicated an "love theme"
We both had it when we met eachother, and we both had it the year we married.
Now: i will have a venus/mars conj. in sr 12th one year before he will have it, but mine will fall in natal 3rd, inexblicably I don´t worry about that... IP: Logged |
jjj
Knowflake Posts: 233
From:
Registered: Aug 2009
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posted December 13, 2013 04:57 PM
I would add unfulfilled emotional/intimacy needs also to the list of reasons for possible affair... if I remember correctly, you are yourself in love with another man, BorntoDesire...  ? (sry, havent looked at the charts yet, but I will)IP: Logged |
Kerosene
Knowflake Posts: 7584
From: Mercury
Registered: Dec 2012
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posted December 13, 2013 04:59 PM
The fact that you came up with this idea means you subconsciously have a suspicion before.
These placements only confirmed your own thoughts.
Never distrust your instinct, the mind is amazing..
We pick up these seemingly insignificant things.
Has he been distant? You should really think.
maybe he isn't having an affair.
He could be doing something behind your back even if it's not harmful to your relationship but would rather involve you.
Unfortunately you will never have peace of mind unless you you don't talk to your husband.Unless your the type to occasionally wonder if your lover is cheating. I don't know what to say because I've never had these suspicions before. IP: Logged |
IndigoDirae
Knowflake Posts: 1353
From: Venice, California, US
Registered: Jul 2011
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posted December 13, 2013 05:20 PM
quote:
Originally posted by jjj:
I would add unfulfilled emotional/intimacy needs also to the list of reasons for possible affair... if I remember correctly, you are yourself in love with another man, BorntoDesire... ? (sry, havent looked at the charts yet, but I will)
Unfulfilled emotional needs tend to be why women stray. Not men so much. IP: Logged |
IndigoDirae
Knowflake Posts: 1353
From: Venice, California, US
Registered: Jul 2011
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posted December 13, 2013 05:30 PM
Curiously, men don't become distant if they're involved with someone else - but MORE attentive. It seems rooted in a guilt complex. I don't think she has suspicions as much as abandonment issues, honestly. Someone mentioned that you yourself have had an 'emotional affair'? So to speak? What's going on there? If that's the case, you may be feeling guilty yourself, suspecting it's your 'payback' that he'll fall for someone else and leave the marriage? No idea; just speculating. Sounds as if you have a good marriage, but who can say from cursory glance? If you have fallen for another man, why do you think you've done so? IP: Logged |
IndigoDirae
Knowflake Posts: 1353
From: Venice, California, US
Registered: Jul 2011
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posted December 13, 2013 05:39 PM
Also, 12H isn't secret relationships so much as it's those that are alternative, different, don't fit the norm. For example, my husband and I are monogamish, as they say. I'm presently involved with another man, (my husband is submissive) and I haven't run across any (local) women who aren't skeevy. (Sounds terrible, I know; I'm not trying to judge, but ... 12H VIRGO VENUS. Safety first!) I'll have to check our marriage chart. I know our composite has a 12H SUN-VENUS-SATURN square 4H URANUS. My stepdaughter doesn't (quite) know, but my family does; his doesn't. We've been very open about it in the media under pseudonyms. Some people aren't monogamous. Some start growing apart. Open marriage can work if you know what you're doing. Anyhow. 12H can indicate similar unusual things. Especially if DSC, DSC-R and URANUS are involved. I think LILITH is more affair-ish. Again, unless you're poly(amorous). Then it's just kind of a marker. IP: Logged |
BorntoDesire
Newflake Posts: 22
From: Berlin, Germany
Registered: Dec 2013
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posted December 14, 2013 03:45 AM
IndigoD: you are on the right track. Thank you for your interpretation, to be involved make things always so cloudy for me, and difficult.
Yes, I feel quilty. And even if I haven’t done anything wrong, but I fear I could.We have a really good marriage, for sure, and we both feel this way. We are always honest with each other. I already talked to him about this, he answered: the only women I will fall for will be you again, he really adores me… so far… The facts are:
I ´m a virgo women, venus leo, mars in gemini (and moon in pieces)
he is a libra men, venus in virgo, mars in cancer
I would say, i´m the weak point in this relationship.
I m very “ top-heavy”, my mind is always running high, my fantasy is very strong! I m a very flirty person, but there is not so much behind it… its all in the head! I´m in the late 30ties, and I spend half of my life with one men, my sexual desire is as strong as never before. And then I met this men and he is the focus of all my fantasies. jjj: yes, its about a pieces men, venus aries….maybe you are interested in it, are´nt you specialist for this sort of men ;-) I´m so attracted to him, and our syn is special. Yes, i´m wondering all day long, if it’s only on my side, and now I really hope it is! When I saw our SRs I suddenly realized which sort of energy I bring in to this family, and it evoked fear!
For one night I went through all the pain, and I have no idea what I m in for! Guess it was important for me. Pluto conj my dsc. I spend a lot of time, thinking about relationships and if monogamy is really the only way, Now I´m sure it is, as long as children are involved (at least for me) I will focus on what I already have. I do not want to provoke such a scenario! But at least there is still the fear, that I cant control, if somebody else could bring it in our lives!!
How can I ever manage these thoughts, now, that I ve seen this chart aspects?
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jjj
Knowflake Posts: 233
From:
Registered: Aug 2009
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posted December 14, 2013 04:46 AM
I will look at your charts with this other fellow, let s hope that it is only in your head... Yes, Im interested in Pisces w Aries venus, do you have an alternate email address? You can cancel it later.IP: Logged |
summerlite
Knowflake Posts: 255
From:
Registered: Nov 2013
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posted December 14, 2013 05:59 AM
Unhappy people say they have happy marriages all the time.Based on those placements, I doubt he is the problem unless he has an unstable moon. You seem to be the one sexually unsatisified maybe because he's the passive one in the relationship. IP: Logged |
IndigoDirae
Knowflake Posts: 1353
From: Venice, California, US
Registered: Jul 2011
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posted December 14, 2013 01:35 PM
I'd need to see the synastry for EVERYONE involved here.People who are satisfied in their relationships don't seek outside fulfillment. If you're naturally nonmonogamous, then having multiple relationships is the norm. Perhaps this 'event' made you think about what you really want, and need. Having kids makes monogamy a more logical choice. Stability, bottom line, is what they need most. But, I'll throw out here, that if you're having thoughts of not being sure if you are monogamous ... THAT's not going to go away. Period. These are feelings you need to deal with and come to terms with, in whatever fashion you choose. I'd like to see the synastry you have with the PISCES / ARIES. You may have what I call 'unresolved 5H / 8H issues'. In other words, you've satisfied the needs of your 7H, but those of the 5H and 8H are in conflict with them - and you haven't resolved that conflict. We tend to have relationships fall into one category or another. We fall in love at the 5H - NOT the 7H. We COMMIT at the 7H. We also experience intimacy at the 8H - but we partner at the 7H. When you've got unresolved 5H, 8H, you'll find yourself attracted to partners that make you confront them. And, oh, if you got married before that point ... it's a doozy. I speak from experience there. But here's the truth. You won't have a truly fulfilling, lasting MARRIAGE until you resolve the 5H and 8H. We live in a culture and society that puts too much emphasis on certain things at certain times; we jump ahead. We skip steps. NODAL connexions can also indicate where those 'skipped steps' are. If they're involving your 5H and 8H, the need to satisfy those becomes even more prominent. Especially when hit by transits or underscored by progressions. And, of course, synastry. Synastry becomes the biggest light shining on everything you can imagine. Everything is illuminated.
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BorntoDesire
Newflake Posts: 22
From: Berlin, Germany
Registered: Dec 2013
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posted December 14, 2013 03:58 PM
IndigoD, I find your words moving, you touch me.
I was always premature, and sometimes i think its just the mid-life crisis...
I´m very interesting in your interpretation and here are our dates (i will cancel it tomorrow)Looking forward to your reply! Many thanks all of you, you really help me getting through this. IP: Logged |
BorntoDesire
Newflake Posts: 22
From: Berlin, Germany
Registered: Dec 2013
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posted December 14, 2013 04:39 PM
OK.
Just checked my fifth house...how blind I was!!!!!!!
I ve studied my chart for nearly 20 years and totally blinded out my uranus/scorpio/ 5th squares my venus/leo/2nd! Obviously I am an unstable person, but I´ve had a longterm relationship when i was 14( 4 years) and than I married my husband. So, two stable relationships, never cheated, never tempted.
It s all in my head. I need to feel safe. Safety first and with my husband i feel secure. I would say: so many years together is succsessful and fulfilling, at least for me. I have this saturn transit, Pluto and sun sextile uranus...I would say: activated and frustrated!
The other mans mars conj my uranus.. in wide Orb (8 deg).
Makes sense. How can I digest this, I have to. IP: Logged |
jjj
Knowflake Posts: 233
From:
Registered: Aug 2009
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posted December 14, 2013 08:21 PM
I gave a quick look to your and this Pisces natals (because Im interested in Pisces w Aries venus . First, your AC-DC axis are the same (but switched) (mine is also at 16 Cancer-Cap), it means that transiting Pluto and Uranus both square your both's AC-DC axis. Your NN-SN axis is exactly square to your AC-DC, so tr Uranus-Pluto stress also your SN-NN. Uranus conjuncting your NN-SN is not fun, and Pluto squaring it... probably both planets pressurize you to make major life changes.In your chart I see Neptune squares to Sun/Moon/Mercury.. this can blur your path and give you a martyr complex. Venus-Uranus square is rather wide... but yes, these people definitely want independence and variety, they NEED it. If you crave a secure relationship, you also crave variety in this relationship, otherwise your needs are not met. You have Moon quincunx Saturn and Chiron tight square to Venus. I have seen that Saturn-Chiron to either Venus/Moon can give ultra sensitive people that are born with a (self) love wound (I have Saturn-Venus and Chiron-Venus as well). They attract similar people to them, so they can heal each other. Often these relships end badly because both parties are seriously wounded. But these people need partners that are similar to them... with often otherworldly sensitivity and deep emotional needs. Libra NN and Aries SN can give very arian and me first personality, so living together with someone is important for you to develop libran qualities. This Pisces gal has also the same wound... he has Saturn conjunct Venus and Chiron conjunct Venus and Chiron contraparallel Venus in natal. His Moon is loosely conjunct Pluto, this adds intensity and maybe trust problems with women. Juno trine Venus is considered by Magi a sexual aspect, so he must be quite charming. Aries venus men are quite passive and conflicting in love, as far as I have seen, but having a Scorpio mars should make him more determinate, and a pursuer of what he wants. He is under Neptune opp Moon transit now.
Your Moon/Suns sign are respectively conjunct, that is lovely.
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IndigoDirae
Knowflake Posts: 1353
From: Venice, California, US
Registered: Jul 2011
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posted December 14, 2013 08:25 PM
Okay, I screencapped everything, just to make sure I got it.  IP: Logged |
starmoon
Knowflake Posts: 961
From:
Registered: Sep 2011
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posted December 14, 2013 08:30 PM
quote:
Originally posted by Ami Anne:
You can't say a guy will have an affair from the chart, I don't think.
agree. they can have all the traditional 'signs' of a cheater and never cheat. and they can have no signs of cheating and do it anyway. just comes down to basic relationship stuff at that point and keeping your partner happy and interested IP: Logged |
jjj
Knowflake Posts: 233
From:
Registered: Aug 2009
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posted December 14, 2013 08:48 PM
In synastry with this Pisces you have classical attraction aspects like sun-moon in switched signs, Venus and Mars trines. All his outer planets aspect your moon, this can create very powerful attraction (you are vulnerable to him), especially his Pluto /Neptune /Chiron to your moon, but your Neptune squares his Moon as well. This can look like fairytale. His Juno conjuncting your venus can give a very strong sexual attraction (Magi super sexual aspect). His Saturn squaring your Mars is problematic and your Chiron opposing his Mars is problematic, his Chiron squaring your Mars as well. You have also some major Chiron action going on, including your Chiron conjuncting his NN (I have this with someone, it seems very binding, but painful, like lifelong healing of someone's wound). His Chiron conjuncting your Moon (tight) and trining your Venus points also to powerful emotional healing (or healing through wounding). I didnt find a Chiron-Venus aspect in Magi orbs though.Chiron is wonderful, but can cause much pain. IP: Logged |
BorntoDesire
Newflake Posts: 22
From: Berlin, Germany
Registered: Dec 2013
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posted December 14, 2013 10:30 PM
You are awesome, thank you so much.
My focus always is on the venus trine, mars trine, moon conj Mercury and sun....seems like I would try to betray my self, you ve opened my eyes a bit. I will get trough this, knowledge is power, and I ve made progress today, thx for that.IdigoD: you got it...would you do me the favor and delete it please! Thank you IP: Logged |
BorntoDesire
Newflake Posts: 22
From: Berlin, Germany
Registered: Dec 2013
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posted December 15, 2013 05:59 AM
IndigoD thank you for deleting so fast, hope to hear from you...  Wow.
jjj, your interpretation does something with me, a lot of stuff is coming up...
I never had a look at Chiron in the syn, but it helps a lot.
I avoid pain, had a huge pain theme in my childhood and when I was 18 I swore, I will not allow any one to have the power to hurt me. Maybe thats the reason why I choose my libra guy. And I will avoid this other man from now on (at least in real life )
Guess I have to deal with this nasty transits, should be done in 2 years (more or less)
You have the same asc...how do you deal with similar transits? Do you also have the pluto square?
Sometimes I think I become nuts, and I used to be a very strong and settled person, thanks god I have my children, they ground me!
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jjj
Knowflake Posts: 233
From:
Registered: Aug 2009
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posted December 15, 2013 07:21 AM
Yeah, I have the same transits, Pluto will soon conjunct my DC and will remain in my 7th and 8th for years... Uranus is now squaring my AC-DC. I am in love with someone I have a bunch of Chiron aspects with, including his Chiron-my NN and my Aries Chiron conjuncts/and parallels his Aries Venus (he is a pisces).
This contact has brought out the pain (Chiron) theme and I am trying to work it through... this man seems to be the catalyst... contact with him is like landmines... I never know when an explosion comes up (these are my internal explosions). It you are the Chiron person in this Chiron-NN aspect, it looks to me that this external person has come to wake you up to deal with your pain. You can avoid the person, it is your choice, but please deal with your wound, you cant repress it, it will come out sooner or later. And follow your heart. Will send you an email later, I wanted to ask something about this Pisces. IP: Logged | |
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