posted December 15, 2013 12:50 AM              

I am the NN person, the other person is the 12th house/Chiron person.

I've read all about how this is pain, pain, pain, and lots of pain. And then more pain, because obviously that's all Chiron has to offer us, right? So I get that part. Except that Chiron is a wounded HEALER, so I suspect that he has more to offer besides pain.

I don't find that it's excruciating with the other person and myself, but there are some bad feelings.

My suspicion is that the Chiron/12th house person has wounds that she may not consciously be aware of, or that she tries to forget about/move on with.

My presence, or words, or life path, or something probably either mimics her wound or causes her to have knee-jerk reactions because of it.

So...I would be needing to help her heal her wounds, and possibly vice versa, yes?

Because the relationship is not going to go away, so...it would seem rather karmic, imo. Being in 12th and all that business.

posted December 15, 2013 01:48 AM              

This is a really odd relationship, because her NN is in my 9th--reminding me to not fall into negative, unethical behaviors. Not by way of good example, but by demonstrating clearly how much I dislike some of her behaviors that are the same behaviors I dislike about myself. And then I try not to do those things.

So it seems kind of like an inadvertent thing when she helps me. She's certainly not going out of her way to do it, but she often does so by way of negative examples.

I wonder if, since she's the Chiron person, she would be helping to heal some sort of NN issue that I have? How would a person even have a NN-related wound in the first place??

posted December 15, 2013 03:33 AM              

quote:

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Originally posted by summerlite:
if it's ur MIL, it sounds to me what needs to be fixed is the bad feelings (misunderstandings) in your relationship. I don't know how bad that is.

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Thanks, yeah...it's complicated, and I've recently had to come right out and say "hey, I'm not okay with the way we interact, let's try to fix that" and so far it seems like there's just kind of a band-aid being put on the energies between us.

I see the wounds that we're opening for each other, though. My suspicion is that whether she and I are ever pals or not, she is acting as a catalyst for me to look at some deep pain that I've had all my life.

posted December 15, 2013 12:44 PM              

...That's just effing super, isn't it?

I have Sag NN in 4th/5th.

She has already prompted me to be more straightforward, and less passive aggressive. Actually, when I had the issue with her recently that I spoke up about, it propelled me to overcome some weird domestic phobias I have, and start devoting more time willingly to my home, and I quit my job so that I could volunteer with my son's activities. But it wasn't because of admiration for her or anything, haha. Mostly I think that she teaches me inadvertently not to be a hypocrite, or do things that I don't respect.

Interestingly, my husband's step-mom was visiting with his dad at that time, and she has her NN conjunct my Sun in 8th.

Having all of them around really helped me to change some things that needed to be changed at that time.

posted December 15, 2013 01:43 PM              

quote:

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Originally posted by summerlite:
Chiron in 12th house Sag. I think there are past hidden wounds that cause her passive aggressiveness. She could have a traditional mindset or belief system that held her back from healing. She thinks she knows her own problem but she doesn't.

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Thanks for that, I tend to agree with you.

But with my NN and Neptune in her 12th, I'm supposed to bring out her deeper spiritual side, no?

posted December 15, 2013 02:37 PM              

It seems to work like this:
She says or does something (repeatedly, more often than not) that irritates me or hurts my feelings. I eventually call her on it, and she gets her feelings hurt and plays the victim. I've already been annoyed/hurt, so I try to let the situation smooth itself out, or apologize if I really feel like I should.

What an annoying aspect to have with an in-law.

Weird. I just realized that her NN also conjuncts my husband's Chiron in 4th (about a 3 degree orb).

posted December 15, 2013 05:13 PM            

Maybe she thinks she's helping you by giving u great advice, for example on how to take care of your family (which is your 4th house NN). You feel her to be a pain for being nosy but it helps you further in the NN direction. While doing so, your MIL realises what kind of parent she was in the past.

I'm guessing she didn't have a good relationship with her son in the past. Or she was "mentally away" as a parent (ur husband's 4th house chiron). Her past behaviour left guilty scars inside her that she never confronted.

Maybe your role is to change her old mindset so that she understands the problem and learns it's not her fault. Resolve anything between her and her son. And that she should be looking into her own needs/family needs instead of others.

posted December 15, 2013 05:47 PM              

quote:

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Originally posted by summerlite:
i have sag ac. maybe that's why we are exploring together. lol
http://www.bobmarksastrologer.com/chiron21.5.html
A 12th house Chiron may compulsively try to take care of the poor the sick, and the unfortunate while neglecting their own needs and those of their own family.

Maybe she thinks she's helping you by giving u great advice, for example on how to take care of your family (which is your 4th house NN). You feel her to be a pain for being nosy but it helps you further in the NN direction. While doing so, your MIL realises what kind of parent she was in the past.

I'm guessing she didn't have a good relationship with her son in the past. Or she was "mentally away" as a parent (ur husband's 4th house chiron). Her past behaviour left guilty scars inside her that she never confronted.

Maybe your role is to change her old mindset so that she understands the problem and learns it's not her fault. Resolve anything between her and her son. And that she should be looking into her own needs/family needs instead of others.

I'm not sure if I make sense. I think you are supposed to teach her how to bond properly with her current family instead of being so passive aggressive and cold towards you.

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Excellent, summerlite! I do love Sag ACs (most of my best friends, as well as my husband have that placement). I normally have very spiritually rewarding relationships with Sag ACs, as my Neptune and NN are in their 12th.

She doesn't offer a ton of advice, but she does passive-aggressively undermine the rules of our household (very basic rules, I might add) with my son, and she seems to feel threatened or competitive with me--but I don't really feel that way towards her.

I've often had to ask her to respect the basic rules that we have for our son, because he needs the structure and predictability of everyone being on the same page (he's two). We're not overly strict, so I find it a reasonable request.

I hope you're right...maybe I can help her get a more spiritual perspective on her wounds, and she is already helping me, even if by default. Maybe it will morph into something more positive as the years progress.

posted October 09, 2018 01:46 AM            

NN is an anxious position to where we are going in the future.

Chiron is already there. Chiron is, has, and always will process the pain aspect of the sign involved, more than the NN, because the NN is always in the future, the planet is there already. So, Chiron will remind, or have a hint of foreboding air of the pain around the sign/house placement. And hence, potentially add a hint of greater anxiety to the task the person has to the growth toward the NN. Anxiety is a sort of pain already that the NN has, so yes, it adds to this anxiety.

Why this synastry placement is interesting for me - the NN is hard already. Who's going to want to grow toward pain on top of that?

But, it depends.. it depends, it all depends on the rest of the charts and what is aspecting this conjunction. And also what's at the SN end, and what else is at the the NN end too, etc.

If there are other planets at the NN end for the node person, it will provide another leg of confidence to rely on, in regards to growing toward the theme of the sign/house of the NN and, too in the face of the conjunction with (scary/painful) Chiron. This other planet will push the NN person forward in that direction anyhow on their own instigation naturally. Both of these factors will reduce the added anxiety that may come from the Chiron vibe, and provide aid to confidently handling that vibe.

Also, that person through added planets there will already "be there" (Same place as the Chiron) on some level through that other planet. Which will mean the theme (the sign/house) has been processed to a degree through that planet, it is familiar and therefore the territory has reduced anxiety.

If Chiron is owned by that person, has been processed, and is integrated to some degree into the chart by aspects too.. then the pains will not be so triggered by the Chiron person in a surprising way by the growth of the NN person. And thus too, not absorbed secondary, by mirror reflection, in an overly traumatic manner back to the NN person either.

I am guessing that this synastry aspect would have to be slowly introduced and integrated into the synastry to reduce painful emotional shattering to the interaction (and to each people) because I think it is quite powerful. Because again - who want to move to the future (NN) when there is pain (Chiron).

But then again, it depends on what else is aspected and what's been integrated, etc.

The benefits of Chiron need to be "sold" too, to the NN person I suspect. This is the other side of Chiron - the healer.

How much the Chiron has been processed by the Chiron person is a factor. I would guess that a 12H Chiron will more likely to be painfully triggered because it's less integrated into a psyche (but, maybe not too - maybe they are a painter or some kind of medic/healer)?

If the Chiron is part of a T-square, or on an angle, or in any other way in the foreground of the person's life/psyche by having already caused pain, it may indicate a higher likelihood that the pain point has pushed the person to look at it as a priority and brought to consciousness. Maybe they have been to therapy over the issue and transformed into the wounded healer.

If this is the case, the benefits can be sold to the NN person and this aspect and the synastry can be eased forward for both people.

Just taking some stabs here.