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Author
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Topic: This Sag /Capricorn is not the biz.
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hannaramaa
Knowflake Posts: 6400
From:
Registered: Nov 2011
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posted December 15, 2013 10:59 PM
  
So, I made him mad enough to delete me off Facebook and not talk to me for 4 months right? Or you can look at it as he deleted me off Facebook and didn't care to fix it. Whatever. I initiated contact and basically told him I was sorry and I wanted to start over. He has not responded but he added me on Facebook and is liking my photos, and statuses. Wth, does he expect me to do the work? Since this is sort of about communication he has Mercury in Scorpio conjunct Pluto. I guess we're just better off not directly speaking to one another, or he is wanting more of a reaction from me, or nothing and he just likes what he likes. I don't know but it doesn't make sense to my Triple Aries self!IP: Logged |
MsPrism
Knowflake Posts: 1241
From:
Registered: Jun 2013
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posted December 15, 2013 11:12 PM
If you messed up then yes, you have to do the work. If he messes up then he has to do the work. If he has messed up before and you still have to do the work to fix it then he doesn't deserve your attention. If you are desperate to keep the friendship and are willing to put up with b.s. then you will always have to do the work. IP: Logged |
hannaramaa
Knowflake Posts: 6400
From:
Registered: Nov 2011
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posted December 15, 2013 11:39 PM
It's all three kind of. I'm just frustrated, and you know what I do when I'm frustrated with someone who doesn't deserve my attention? Try harder. But I won't this time, I'm going to overcome my urge to fix it and get him back. If it happens it happens. Right? Gotta let it go.i didn't mess up in my eyes, but in his he may see me as kicking him while he's down. He's easily offended / hurt and I didn't hold back this time. IP: Logged |
Venusian Moon
Knowflake Posts: 1285
From: Nyc
Registered: Feb 2013
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posted December 16, 2013 01:17 AM
quote:
Originally posted by hannaramaa:
It's all three kind of. I'm just frustrated, and you know what I do when I'm frustrated with someone who doesn't deserve my attention? Try harder. But I won't this time, I'm going to overcome my urge to fix it and get him back. If it happens it happens. Right? Gotta let it go.i didn't mess up in my eyes, but in his he may see me as kicking him while he's down. He's easily offended / hurt and I didn't hold back this time.
Aries never hold back lol U must have really ****** him off. IP: Logged |
hannaramaa
Knowflake Posts: 6400
From:
Registered: Nov 2011
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posted December 16, 2013 01:42 AM
quote:
Originally posted by Venusian Moon:
Aries never hold back lolU must have really ****** him off.
I know I did. Here's the thing though is I still believe in what I said. I don't know why it ****** him off, to be honest. I wasn't mean (at least from my point of view) just very… blunt. That's a reason to get ****** off but he didn't say anything back, just PFFT off I went. Which is whatever, I could care less about Facebook it's the actions behind it, the lack of communication I don't understand. From me looking outside the unwillingness to say anything back is like "Okay, he doesn't care enough he just thinks you're a **** stirrer" but then the actions of adding back and acknowledging my online presence in some fashion is like - what? Like, WHICH outcome do you want! IP: Logged |
Odette
Knowflake Posts: 3054
From:
Registered: May 2012
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posted December 16, 2013 01:47 AM
Guys very often don't reply to FB messages unless you ask a question.. specially guys with Scorpio or Virgo or Capricorn Mercuries.He doesn't think he needs to reply.
You said sorry - He accepted your request - which means "Ok. We can be friends again"... and now he is just taking it slowly.
If he wanted to avoid you completely - he wouldn't like your stuff and he wouldn't have added you back. I don't think he wants to make an issue out of your apology and "discuss" things. I understand his attitude. I have a water Merc as you know.. and I don't generally take it personally if someone doesn't reply. I've had a few experiences with guys not replying on FB even though we were friends and everything was cool when I saw them in RL. IP: Logged |
hannaramaa
Knowflake Posts: 6400
From:
Registered: Nov 2011
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posted December 16, 2013 02:04 AM
quote:
Originally posted by Odette:
Guys very often don't reply to FB messages unless you ask a question.. specially guys with Scorpio or Virgo or Capricorn Mercuries.He doesn't think he needs to reply.
You said sorry - He accepted your request - which means "Ok. We can be friends again"... and now he is just taking it slowly.
If he wanted to avoid you completely - he wouldn't like your stuff and he wouldn't have added you back. I don't think he wants to make an issue out of your apology and "discuss" things. I understand his attitude. I have a water Merc as you know.. and I don't generally take it personally if someone doesn't reply. I've had a few experiences with guys not replying on FB even though we were friends and everything was cool when I saw them in RL.
Well it's not healthy not to discuss things, but you're right, as usual. He has an avoidant personality. We both do, just on different things. Good perspective about avoiding completely vs. not. I haven't said anything since that message or anything, it's just been frustrating me internally and I needed a place to vent. LL happened to be there.  He's got the Capricorn moon, and while what you said about you feeling like Taurus moons are five year olds when you're explaining problems - have you ever had Taurus moons explain why they don't think your problem was a big deal, or they didn't see a reason to stress over it? I think that is why Taurus and Capricorn are supposed to compliment each other… because although Taurus obsesses, they don't have anxiety like a Capricorn moon does. (disclaimer: Some not all! ) IP: Logged |
DeepFreeze
Knowflake Posts: 520
From: Pluto
Registered: Nov 2013
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posted December 16, 2013 02:07 AM
quote:
Originally posted by Odette:
Guys very often don't reply to FB messages unless you ask a question.. specially guys with Scorpio or Virgo or Capricorn Mercuries.He doesn't think he needs to reply.
You said sorry - He accepted your request - which means "Ok. We can be friends again"... and now he is just taking it slowly.
If he wanted to avoid you completely - he wouldn't like your stuff and he wouldn't have added you back. I don't think he wants to make an issue out of your apology and "discuss" things. I understand his attitude. I have a water Merc as you know.. and I don't generally take it personally if someone doesn't reply. I've had a few experiences with guys not replying on FB even though we were friends and everything was cool when I saw them in RL.
Exactly. I was just discussing a Sag/Cap ex-gf in another thread. She was ALL Sag and Cap except Jupiter and Pluto. Oh, mars in Taurus I guess. I missed that earlier. ANYWAY, we had one effed up relationship, let me tell you.
1 year and 10 months later she wrote to apologize. She said that she doesn't like to think about past things but happened to that day so decided to apologize. She really didn't like to discuss stuff. Basically it was kind of like, "We've been civil to each other now so just forget it and move on". She didn't say that, but the attitude was such.
IP: Logged |
Odette
Knowflake Posts: 3054
From:
Registered: May 2012
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posted December 16, 2013 02:14 AM
This situation is interesting though.. because I have a Capricorn Moon - and the guy I blocked on FB (not deleted, but blocked) is a Sag with Taurus Moon opposite Pluto - I know you also have this aspect.
I blocked him in late 2012... and unblocked him not long ago. I didn't feel like there was a point in keeping him blocked. It makes things awkward since we have 50+ mutual friends. I am not going to re-add him.
He was blocked for over 4 months though. I'm not sure if the situation was at all similar.. but I did feel like he was a sh*t stirrer...
Too many things added up in my mind. His attention-seeking behaviour towards me was very annoying and I found him blatantly disrespectful.
What topped it all off was... well actually *two* things... - First of all him getting very very drunk at a party, where he looked like he was not far from collapsing to the ground and dropping dead. He also lost a $1000 item due to being that drunk. I felt like.. "I don't know who this person is anymore".
Secondly... a conversation on FB about animals eating each other, where him and this Virgo girl - were trying to top each other in some kind of "I'm crueler than you are" FB competition. It was on the tip of my tongue to make fun of them and say ... "And the 2012 Cruelty Award goes to.... Virgo Girl *claps*" ---- "PS. His d**k is still bigger than yours, since yours is non-existent". The fact that he kept getting sucked into these types of competitive situations with this girl - which put him in a very negative light... as well as the background story between them - and the way he behaved towards other mutual friends of ours - really got to me. That was the last drop - and I blocked him and never looked back. I never explained myself. I just completely avoided him since then. He has tried to get my attention in many different ways, most of which were crazy. He is also angry with me as though I was nasty or judgmental to have reacted this way and blocked him (He tells mutual friends stuff about me).
I feel like he is not at all taking accountability for his own actions.
He would likely say - that he did nothing wrong from his perspective.. but I find that kind of ridiculous. I definitely want an apology - one fine day when he understands *why* his behaviour was not ok...
But tbh - even if I got an apology - I don't think I could ever add him back. Your guy added you back - so whatever you did couldn't have been as bad. A Capricorn Moon person can be extra cold if they are upset. Adding you back means he is ok with having you back in his life. If he still had an issue with you - he would not have added you just to be "nice"... definitely not. IP: Logged |
Odette
Knowflake Posts: 3054
From:
Registered: May 2012
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posted December 16, 2013 02:17 AM
I typed that ^ before I saw your other posts! quote:
He's got the Capricorn moon, and while what you said about you feeling like Taurus moons are five year olds when you're explaining problems - have you ever had Taurus moons explain why they don't think your problem was a big deal, or they didn't see a reason to stress over it?
Ummm If I feel like a problem is a big deal to me.. and someone else trivialises it - I don't react well.
I usually have reasons to be anxious about something, when I am. So if the Taurus Moon person reacted by just saying "there is no reason to stress".. I'd probably just think.. "Well.. maybe you don't see the reasons.. but I do." IP: Logged |
hannaramaa
Knowflake Posts: 6400
From:
Registered: Nov 2011
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posted December 16, 2013 02:26 AM
^ And I totally understand that. It makes me see my own reaction to my Cappy moon friends' problems in a different light and helps me respond better. I guess it's just interesting to me that for all the analyzing Capricorns do, the ones in my life don't have much perspective. They are really responsible people but they aren't very good at putting themselves in another's shoes. I think Taurus Moons (or in general) are not very good at soothing and so that's their way of saying "It's okay, everything will be alright." In any case, yes because he added me back it seems like he is okay with having me back in his life, but I notice his Facebook is also very stark when I know he's an avid user. I didn't make any changes to mine (and this is all Facebook related btw because I no longer have his number in my phone. I deleted it in the past being prideful and vowing I would wait forever for him to make up with me instead.) but I'm just saying it's one of the reasons I don't feel completely in the clear. IP: Logged |
hannaramaa
Knowflake Posts: 6400
From:
Registered: Nov 2011
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posted December 16, 2013 03:34 AM
"Your guy added you back - so whatever you did couldn't have been as bad. A Capricorn Moon person can be extra cold if they are upset. Adding you back means he is ok with having you back in his life. If he still had an issue with you - he would not have added you just to be "nice"… definitely not."The more I think about what you said and compared it to what I said (to him), the more I think you're right. I even said in the message I didn't want to focus on the argument or the past and wanted to start fresh, so duh he's not going to respond to that. I guess I was just thinking he'd immediately start a conversation but all must be okay and I'm overreacting. IP: Logged |
Jessica2407
Moderator Posts: 4461
From: Saturn
Registered: Sep 2012
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posted December 16, 2013 06:22 AM
quote:
Originally posted by hannaramaa:
So, I made him mad enough to delete me off Facebook and not talk to me for 4 months right? Or you can look at it as he deleted me off Facebook and didn't care to fix it. Whatever. I initiated contact and basically told him I was sorry and I wanted to start over. He has not responded but he added me on Facebook ....
Say what???? he hasn't responded?? Girl, he added you on Facebook. THAT was the response  THAT is supposed to be The End of the issue. You requested that he forgave you, and he did. By adding you back. Matter closed. IP: Logged |
hannaramaa
Knowflake Posts: 6400
From:
Registered: Nov 2011
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posted December 16, 2013 06:25 AM
quote:
Originally posted by Jessica2407:
Say what????he hasn't responded?? Girl, he added you on Facebook. THAT was the response THAT is supposed to be The End of the issue. You requested that he forgave you, and he did. By adding you back. Matter closed.
I'm grinning! Lol if only you knew what I said to **** him off in the first place, Jessica! That is why I'm not approaching him or saying anything… hesitancy, not pride. I'm moving slow in my own way too. IP: Logged |
summerlite
Knowflake Posts: 271
From:
Registered: Nov 2013
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posted December 16, 2013 10:14 AM
what's his mars sign?IP: Logged |
Jessica2407
Moderator Posts: 4461
From: Saturn
Registered: Sep 2012
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posted December 16, 2013 10:17 AM
quote:
Originally posted by hannaramaa:
I'm grinning! Lol if only you knew what I said to **** him off in the first place, Jessica! That is why I'm not approaching him or saying anything… hesitancy, not pride. I'm moving slow in my own way too.
LOL IP: Logged |
hannaramaa
Knowflake Posts: 6400
From:
Registered: Nov 2011
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posted December 16, 2013 02:36 PM
quote:
Originally posted by summerlite:
what's his mars sign?
It comes up as Scorpio but it's on the Libra / Scorpio cusp at 0 degrees. IP: Logged |
summerlite
Knowflake Posts: 271
From:
Registered: Nov 2013
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posted December 16, 2013 03:04 PM
lol. Mars Libra "making peace" by liking Facebook photos/statuses... That's so..."Look i'm trying to be the better person after what you've done to me".Meh. I bet he's still angry. Capricorn moons remember everything. Just initiate contact again if u want to keep him around. IP: Logged |
page one
Knowflake Posts: 155
From: USA
Registered: Jun 2012
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posted December 16, 2013 03:33 PM
quote:
Originally posted by MsPrism:
If you messed up then yes, you have to do the work. If he messes up then he has to do the work. If he has messed up before and you still have to do the work to fix it then he doesn't deserve your attention. If you are desperate to keep the friendship and are willing to put up with b.s. then you will always have to do the work.
This response is so good I just wanted to second it. IP: Logged |
hannaramaa
Knowflake Posts: 6400
From:
Registered: Nov 2011
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posted December 16, 2013 05:12 PM
quote:
Originally posted by summerlite:
lol. Mars Libra "making peace" by liking Facebook photos/statuses... That's so..."Look i'm trying to be the better person after what you've done to me".Meh. I bet he's still angry. Capricorn moons remember everything. Just initiate contact again if u want to keep him around.
Initiate contact again even though I already wrote him? Maybe. I don't want to be a pest or look desperate. IP: Logged |
Violets
Knowflake Posts: 1422
From:
Registered: Apr 2011
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posted December 16, 2013 06:04 PM
Hmm. I have Cap Mars in 6th and a Virgo Moon. I delete people I know in real life from FB all the time, if they irritate me enough.Or I dismiss them over to the "restricted" pile, meaning "Yes, we're still technically acquaintances, and I don't hate you, but I don't like the way that you act/think, so go away now". I did have a stupid thing happen with a Leo woman I knew in real life and was friends with on Facebook. She was annoying, constantly contradicting everything I said, and so I put her on the "restricted" list. Then she messaged me asking me why, and I decided to politely tell her my reasons, as opposed to making something up or ignoring her (which would have been my preference). She got all p*ssed off, and started making a bunch of passive-aggressive remarks on her FB page about how some people just don't want to hear other people's opinions, etc (and she was right, I had absolutely zero interest in her opinion). So I blocked her. She then proceeded to call me, leave messages, etc. I thought that added an extra "Hi, I'm an effing weirdo" vibe to the whole thing, as we were barely friends who had hung out only a couple of times. So I just ignored her for a long time and kept her blocked. I finally unblocked her recently, because...well, she's married to a guy that I've known since high school. So, I dunno. But that's my random Facebook story for the day. Maybe bluntness and disagreements via Facebook, where everyone can see what you've posted isn't his most favorite thing. I know it's not mine. The Cap and Virgo in me does not like public drama. It happens, but it's not the norm for me. IP: Logged |
Odette
Knowflake Posts: 3054
From:
Registered: May 2012
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posted December 16, 2013 06:52 PM
quote:
Initiate contact again even though I already wrote him?
No. Don't initiate contact privately.
'Like' his stuff - because he has also liked yours. And post something on FB that you know he would normally reply to.
Post something death-related or sex-related... His Scorpio Merc won't be able to hold back. e.g.: http://www.mnn.com/money/sustainable-business-practices/stories/green-burial-how-to-turn-a-human-body-into-compost#
IP: Logged |
Violets
Knowflake Posts: 1422
From:
Registered: Apr 2011
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posted December 16, 2013 06:55 PM
Sorry, I didn't really offer up any advice, just random blurts. Generally, I agree with what Odette has been saying.  IP: Logged |
hannaramaa
Knowflake Posts: 6400
From:
Registered: Nov 2011
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posted December 17, 2013 12:02 AM
quote:
Originally posted by Violets:
Hmm. I have Cap Mars in 6th and a Virgo Moon. I delete people I know in real life from FB all the time, if they irritate me enough.Or I dismiss them over to the "restricted" pile, meaning "Yes, we're still technically acquaintances, and I don't hate you, but I don't like the way that you act/think, so go away now". I did have a stupid thing happen with a Leo woman I knew in real life and was friends with on Facebook. She was annoying, constantly contradicting everything I said, and so I put her on the "restricted" list. Then she messaged me asking me why, and I decided to politely tell her my reasons, as opposed to making something up or ignoring her (which would have been my preference). She got all p*ssed off, and started making a bunch of passive-aggressive remarks on her FB page about how some people just don't want to hear other people's opinions, etc (and she was right, I had absolutely zero interest in her opinion). So I blocked her. She then proceeded to call me, leave messages, etc. I thought that added an extra "Hi, I'm an effing weirdo" vibe to the whole thing, as we were barely friends who had hung out only a couple of times. So I just ignored her for a long time and kept her blocked. I finally unblocked her recently, because...well, she's married to a guy that I've known since high school. So, I dunno. But that's my random Facebook story for the day. Maybe bluntness and disagreements via Facebook, where everyone can see what you've posted isn't his most favorite thing. I know it's not mine. The Cap and Virgo in me does not like public drama. It happens, but it's not the norm for me.
LMAO! Yeah, some people take Facebook too seriously. I don't like public drama either and I get embarrassed for people who don't hide it. (I have the Taurus moon plus it's trine Saturn, so I get it!) He only deleted me off Facebook after an argument we had through texting (or not an argument but rather his ignoring me which I thought / knew I wouldn't like the answer and then me telling him how I actually felt.) IP: Logged |
hannaramaa
Knowflake Posts: 6400
From:
Registered: Nov 2011
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posted December 17, 2013 12:04 AM
quote:
Originally posted by Odette:
No. Don't initiate contact privately. 'Like' his stuff - because he has also liked yours. And post something on FB that you know he would normally reply to.
Post something death-related or sex-related... His Scorpio Merc won't be able to hold back. e.g.: http://www.mnn.com/money/sustainable-business-practices/sto ries/green-burial-how-to-turn-a-human-body-into-compost#
Sigh. This "process" is annoying. It will serve as a better reminder for me to hold my tongue than his absence does… Death or sex related, good idea! I will when it feels right. I don't want to do anything out of character or try too hard for his attention. Also thanks for validating not to contact him again! I wasn't going to but I'm still glad you said which way or the other. IP: Logged |
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