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Author Topic:   Silent treatment
I'm so cappy
Knowflake

Posts: 3966
From: Saturn (summer house on Chiron)
Registered: Nov 2012

posted December 20, 2013 03:37 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for I'm so cappy     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
What in a natal chart indicates the tendency to give silent treatments?

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I'm sooo happy! I mean, cappy.

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Ellynlvx
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From: Mountain Gate
Registered: Aug 2013

posted December 20, 2013 03:40 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Ellynlvx     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Stationary Saturn Opposite Mercury in Cancer?

Maybe something Stubborn and Taurean?

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Rosalind
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posted December 20, 2013 03:46 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Rosalind     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I don't give silent treatments. When I'm done with someone... I'm DONE. Scorpio Rising conjunct Pluto.

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Newrise
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From: Los angeles
Registered: Jul 2013

posted December 20, 2013 03:49 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Newrise     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I am actually bad at giving silent treatments. And yes when I am done, I am also done.

But if I wanted to give a silent treatment out of an ulterior motive, I couldn't. It feels horrible to me.

As far as mars goes, I have mars trine moon so that seems appropriate.

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olgatheo
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From: Pluto
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posted December 20, 2013 03:52 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for olgatheo     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Pluto aspects esp. to Mercury or ASC!
Speaking from personal exp.

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I'm so cappy
Knowflake

Posts: 3966
From: Saturn (summer house on Chiron)
Registered: Nov 2012

posted December 20, 2013 03:56 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for I'm so cappy     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
^Thanks! Especially for staying on topic

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I'm sooo happy! I mean, cappy.

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Kerosene
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From: Mercury
Registered: Dec 2012

posted December 20, 2013 03:57 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Kerosene     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
It's a passive agressive way to display frustration with someone.
so afflicted mars?

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PixieJane
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From: CA
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posted December 20, 2013 07:00 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for PixieJane     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I'm also one of those people who doesn't give the silent treatment (I expect my Libra and Sag stellium see no point to it). Yet when I'm done with someone I am all the way done which may be that my sun, merc, and pluto are on the Scorpio ascendant (and Jupiter all the way in Scorpio).

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tgem
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posted December 20, 2013 07:05 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for tgem     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I'm pretty good at this ( and no, I'm not boasting). It's one of my weaker aspects: Taurus sun, Aries mercury opposite Pluto.

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Faith
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posted December 20, 2013 07:24 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Faith     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I just shut down emotionally whenever something bothers me beyond a certain point, and can't talk because I don't trust what I'll say.

Could be my Pisces moon (overly sensitive) square Gemini Mars (verbally aggressive). The moon gets hurt and Mars immediately wants to jump in and "defend" the moon...ugh, I've learned the hard way that this is a recipe for disaster. So I just have to chill out, think about everything, and then respond. In the meanwhile, that person won't hear from me.

I also have 3H Pluto trine Mercury and Mars, sextile ASC. Since these planets are in air signs, however, I think they are what pull me OUT of a funk. Especially the Aquarius Mercury...it can't handle melodrama for too long.

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Ellynlvx
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From: Mountain Gate
Registered: Aug 2013

posted December 20, 2013 07:27 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Ellynlvx     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Faith, are you and that friend still off again?

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Odette
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posted December 20, 2013 07:30 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Odette     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I do this

*hides*

Everyone hates me for doing this.

Pisces Mercury.

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Odette
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posted December 20, 2013 07:31 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Odette     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
I just shut down emotionally whenever something bothers me beyond a certain point, and can't talk because I don't trust what I'll say.

This is exactly how I feel.

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tgem
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posted December 20, 2013 07:37 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for tgem     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Odette:
This is exactly how I feel.

Same here....

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LionFish
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posted December 20, 2013 08:24 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for LionFish     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Faith:
I just shut down emotionally whenever something bothers me beyond a certain point, and can't talk because I don't trust what I'll say.

Could be my Pisces moon (overly sensitive) square Gemini Mars (verbally aggressive). The moon gets hurt and Mars immediately wants to jump in and "defend" the moon...ugh, I've learned the hard way that this is a recipe for disaster. So I just have to chill out, think about everything, and then respond. In the meanwhile, that person won't hear from me.


I have some kind of weird formation with my Sun/Merc, Moon and Mars/Uranus. A sextile (Moon to Sun/Merc) Mars/Urans square Sun/Merc, and Mars/Uranus inconjunct Moon.

I feel the same as Faith. I don't consider it a "silent treatment," but for the benefit of the relationship between myself and the other person. Because if I'm truly hurt (Moon) my Mars/Uranus square Mercury comes out and I can say some pretty horrible, hurtful things. So instead I too, shutdown and choose not to speak if I'm really upset. It's VERY hard for me to do, but people know when I'm not speaking to them, they messed up big time.

I don't like saying things I don't mean, so I've learned to just keep my mouth shut until I calm down. That doesn't always work though, sometimes just talking (Merc) brings up my emotions (Moon) full force (Mars) again. I can be a bit volatile if I don't stfu :/

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I'm so cappy
Knowflake

Posts: 3966
From: Saturn (summer house on Chiron)
Registered: Nov 2012

posted December 20, 2013 08:37 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for I'm so cappy     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Thanks for sharing.

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I'm sooo happy! I mean, cappy.

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PixieJane
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From: CA
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posted December 20, 2013 08:44 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for PixieJane     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Faith:
I just shut down emotionally whenever something bothers me beyond a certain point, and can't talk because I don't trust what I'll say.

Could be my Pisces moon (overly sensitive) square Gemini Mars (verbally aggressive). The moon gets hurt and Mars immediately wants to jump in and "defend" the moon...ugh, I've learned the hard way that this is a recipe for disaster. So I just have to chill out, think about everything, and then respond. In the meanwhile, that person won't hear from me


I find this admirable. And I also don't consider this the silent treatment. To me the silent treatment is intended to punish and make a person stew and/or a barb of "you don't really matter" (as opposed to being done which means "we're both better off apart") but what you're doing is the opposite of that. It's self-control. I've done this at times myself when I recognized I was really angry in time to catch myself and go to cool off or otherwise work it out, but that's not to punish or belittle, that's to keep from punishing & belittling. When someone tells me they need a little time to cool off I back off for them as well. I don't hold how people feel (or their immediate impulses) against them as feelings aren't always rational or something we can control and they tend to change like the weather anyway. It's how they act on it that counts.

Likewise, I'm glad you can recognize that because something comes off a certain way doesn't mean that was how it's intended. One of the most tiresome things I find on the net is how it seems the majority of people automatically assume the worst possible "tone of voice" to a post and then immediately react to their own paranoid imagination rather than what was actually said or implied.

(OTOH, it's interesting to this heavy Libra/Sag with Scorpio influences as it's making me reassess my belief that teens are more prone to care about peer pressure due to evolutionary factors when instead it could be that as they get older they're better able to pick up on social cues better which can't be done on the net so on the net "revert back to hypersensitive teens" believing the entire world is judging them harshly when it's not reverting but rather the default settings of the typical human brain and the "tribal circuits" that subconsciously fear shunning/exile as death and thus evoking anger as a response which then make flame wars on the net inevitable. I was more hypersensitive as a teen but there could be other factors than I suppose that made me less so as I got older.)

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summerlite
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posted December 20, 2013 09:13 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for summerlite     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Moon sq Mercury?

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Kerosene
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From: Mercury
Registered: Dec 2012

posted December 20, 2013 10:41 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Kerosene     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
It's also quite easy to avoid paranoid response if one can construct a post without it sounding completely condescending.

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PixieJane
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posted December 21, 2013 12:29 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for PixieJane     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Kerosene:
It's also quite easy to avoid paranoid response if one can construct a post without it sounding completely condescending.

Sounding that way to you. I bet I wouldn't find many of the posts you consider condescending that way because I'd imagine a "different tone of voice" for it (more casual than condescending) as I read it.

More than once I've asked for clarification of what someone meant when I wasn't sure about what they meant and/or how they meant it (and some people even complain of me doing that as if I was interrogating them rather than trying to better understand them), and for some reason I usually don't get paranoid. In contrast others will be paranoid no matter how much you try to avoid giving offense, no matter how much you explain your motives they will still assume the worst. Sometimes even sugar coating something can come off as condescending to those prone to see attack where there isn't one.

And of course it's not just me that the worst is assumed over. People tend to assume the worst tone of about everyone (at least outside their clique) and thus the many flame wars (especially when it's mutual paranoia/hypersensitivity), including on LL.

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DeepFreeze
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Posts: 560
From: Pluto
Registered: Nov 2013

posted December 21, 2013 12:52 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for DeepFreeze     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Yes, I do. Very often I will simply just be done with them - completely. If I do silent treatment, it's not a punishment, it's a warning.
It's much much less likely with a significant other.

Pluto conjunct Asc
Moon square Mars
Moon sqaure Mercury

Possibly other relevant stuff relating to Mars/Mercury

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DialecticLady
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posted December 21, 2013 02:46 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for DialecticLady     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by DeepFreeze:
Yes, I do. Very often I will simply just be done with them - completely. If I do silent treatment, it's not a punishment, it's a warning.
It's much much less likely with a significant other.

Pluto conjunct Asc
Moon square Mars
Moon sqaure Mercury

Possibly other relevant stuff relating to Mars/Mercury


This ^^. I think this could be for different reasons. I've seen people doing this as punishment, to cool down and don't say wrong words while one is hurt and as a warnig too. I can do all this But it's because I hate to argue and fight and feel ashamed if I lose control like this, so I prefer give the silent treatment. I guess the aspects could be:

-many aqua/11th house/strong uranus: don't

know how to handle emotional things and shut

down.

-proeminent scorpio/pluto placements: use silent treatment as way of control.

-strong capricorn/saturn aspects:they get cold if you hurt them and use it like punishment because they never will say you affected them in this way (don't like to show vulnerability).

-strong cancer/pisces/moon/neptune/12h house/4th house: passive agressive people, they often don't say what upset them, you must guess lol.

Just my experience!

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DeepFreeze
Knowflake

Posts: 560
From: Pluto
Registered: Nov 2013

posted December 21, 2013 03:00 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for DeepFreeze     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
^ I have all of those except Saturn! Hahaha

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