posted January 06, 2014 08:05 PM            

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Originally posted by I'm so cappy:
Huh? He started dating someone while still being with you? Get some self-respect and dump his ass for good. If you broke up and then it happened then I don't understand why you made a fuss. You had no right to. And you should finally move on. Btw, this sounds like a teenage drama. Time to activate your grey cells.

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posted January 06, 2014 08:05 PM            

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Originally posted by Gracha:
He can hook up with you but say we live too far apart right. Seems he's using you for convenience. Don't look at things from an astrology view, take what hes saying to you and most importantly watch his actions. Men compartmentalize things, women are too emotional and tend to look at future possibilities too much. If he feels you're too far apart to start a relationship back up then thats the category he's placed you in his life. I wouldn't expect too much more than a hookup , i know its hard. You have to protect your heart.

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posted January 06, 2014 08:09 PM            

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Originally posted by I'm so cappy:
Huh? He started dating someone while still being with you? Get some self-respect and dump his ass for good. If you broke up and then it happened then I don't understand why you made a fuss. You had no right to. And you should finally move on. Btw, this sounds like a teenage drama. Time to activate your grey cells.

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posted January 06, 2014 08:14 PM            

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Originally posted by confused_libra:
I see what you're saying. I know you have good points. I have watched his actions for the past few months and I do think he is interested in me. He puts in all the effort to this friendship, I put in none. He initiates everything. We did hook up the last time I saw him, but before that we didn't do anything sexual since becoming friends again last June. So I don't know about the convenience part. Not to mention, it is anything but convenient. Just going to hang out with him takes effort because even when we're both home from college, it's an hour drive between our family's houses.

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posted January 06, 2014 08:23 PM            

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Originally posted by Gracha:
Hm, seems you're making excuses for him or hoping he'll come around this time. But you said he told you he's confused. When a man says this, he doesnt want a relationship with you. I've seen it happen every time but some men are different. Something is stopping him from getting back together with you. Maybe, he missed being just your friend since you two have a long history. Only he knows the real reason. Have you asked him? What type of relationship do you want with thisd guy?

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On one hand, you're right it sounds like a cop-out. He said when he thinks about our relationship it's really complicated and confusing in his head. This was not a conversation where I was asking him if we could be in a relationship. I have not asked that of him at all because I don't know if I'd want one with him... especially right now. It was a conversation that happened last summer because he started kissing me and i stopped him and asked why he would do that when he knows what happened last time. he said he is very attracted to me and loves hanging out with me.

anyway... during this conversation i pryed him more. i told him this was his one chance to be honest with me and tell me what's really going on because it's just so crazy between us. and he said that he thinks it's because of how i treated him back in high school. keep in mind, i'm not the one who brought that up. he did. i was pretty mean to him back in high school when he asked me out - i basically lied to him thinking it was better than outright rejecting him. i think this might've shaped the way he views me, i know how silly that sounds. but, since we have been friends again for the past few years i have never given him a reason not to trust me.

posted January 06, 2014 08:26 PM            

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Originally posted by Gracha:
Hm, seems you're making excuses for him or hoping he'll come around this time. But you said he told you he's confused. When a man says this, he doesnt want a relationship with you. I've seen it happen every time but some men are different. Something is stopping him from getting back together with you. Maybe, he missed being just your friend since you two have a long history. Only he knows the real reason. Have you asked him? What type of relationship do you want with thisd guy?

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posted January 06, 2014 08:35 PM            

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Originally posted by StarlightSmileSupreme:
You have got to decide what you want to do with this guy once and for all, Libra! You are acting Libran than I normally do and that's really Libran of you!

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posted January 06, 2014 08:38 PM            

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Originally posted by confused_libra:
On one hand, you're right it sounds like a cop-out. He said when he thinks about our relationship it's really complicated and confusing in his head. This was not a conversation where I was asking him if we could be in a relationship. I have not asked that of him at all because I don't know if I'd want one with him... especially right now. It was a conversation that happened last summer because he started kissing me and i stopped him and asked why he would do that when he knows what happened last time. he said he is very attracted to me and loves hanging out with me.

anyway... during this conversation i pryed him more. i told him this was his one chance to be honest with me and tell me what's really going on because it's just so crazy between us. and he said that he thinks it's because of how i treated him back in high school. keep in mind, i'm not the one who brought that up. he did. i was pretty mean to him back in high school when he asked me out - i basically lied to him thinking it was better than outright rejecting him. i think this might've shaped the way he views me, i know how silly that sounds. but, since we have been friends again for the past few years i have never given him a reason not to trust me.

sorry i'm just trying to work this out in my head, it's very confusing. thanks for listening and offering your time and advice though, i really appreciate it.

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posted January 06, 2014 08:46 PM            

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Originally posted by Gracha:
No problem. He either needs to accept that how you treated him is in the past or move along. You dont let him make you feel bad for what happened we all live and learn. Seems he's got a lot more learning to do for harping about something happening in high school. It seems like a bad excuse anyway to me. If you get into a real relationship with him, ask yourself if you'd want to hear how you lied etc to him in high school or blaming you whenever something major goes wrong or bailing when you really need him the most. I wouldn't want no part of that type of relationship. You're both still young and finding yourselves. I'd seriously put feelings aside and use logic. I'm sorry to say this but it probably wont get any better between the two of you. If he really wanted to have a relationship, he wouldve asked by now. Don't think you deserve this payback because of what happened in the past. Either he gets over it or move on.

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posted January 06, 2014 08:49 PM            

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Originally posted by incognito:
Agree. I made the same mistake in the past. Let someone hold a lie I told against me and in the end the whole relationship was based on me trying to prove myself to him. You don't want that.

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That's not fun and its abusive behavior.

posted January 06, 2014 08:56 PM            

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Originally posted by Gracha:
That's not fun and its abusive behavior.

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posted January 06, 2014 09:04 PM            

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Originally posted by incognito:
I learned the hard way unfortunately. I didn't see it as abuse til recently (venus neptune square)

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Im happy you realize the behavior for it truly was, abusive. Venus square neptune women can easily end up in abusive relationships. Those rose colored glasses and self sacrificing tends to be the culprit.

posted January 06, 2014 09:09 PM            

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Originally posted by confused_libra:
hahahaha i know i am! what would you do my fellow libra??

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Since I am a twelfth house Libra, probably not too much unless I really liked him. I am a cautious Libra.

posted January 07, 2014 01:13 AM            

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Originally posted by Gracha:
No problem. He either needs to accept that how you treated him is in the past or move along. You dont let him make you feel bad for what happened we all live and learn. Seems he's got a lot more learning to do for harping about something happening in high school. It seems like a bad excuse anyway to me. If you get into a real relationship with him, ask yourself if you'd want to hear how you lied etc to him in high school or blaming you whenever something major goes wrong or bailing when you really need him the most. I wouldn't want no part of that type of relationship. You're both still young and finding yourselves. I'd seriously put feelings aside and use logic. I'm sorry to say this but it probably wont get any better between the two of you. If he really wanted to have a relationship, he wouldve asked by now. Don't think you deserve this payback because of what happened in the past. Either he gets over it or move on.

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posted January 07, 2014 02:50 PM            

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Originally posted by Gracha:
You're welcome. Know you deserve better. He shouldn't guilt trip you. Don't feel bad, love yourself and take care. Good luck with everything.

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