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Author
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Topic: Scorpio broke up with me twice. Cold.
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rosedl
Knowflake Posts: 70
From:
Registered: Jan 2013
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posted February 07, 2014 01:30 AM
  
I fell deeply in love with a Scorpio man who broke up with me for three months. We dated for a year and a half (friends for another year and a half) and I got angry over manipulative behavior. Broke up with me like turning off a light switch. We reconciled and he came to the table apologizing for his behavior and seemed very sincere of how he hurt me and genuinely seemed to have insight into his role. We reconciled for five months, he was a dream boyfriend, we were madly in love again, then the same issues resurfaced and he did the exact same thing all over again. He was worried about his freedom and didn't want to ever be married again or live as if he was....two weeks before this he was telling me forever. I think he is a total commitment phobe, he has a lifetime of this behavior before me (come to find out). So confusing because I called him one day early in the breakup and he looked at me like he was more in love then ever. Like worshipful. But, the next day he made it clear he didn't want to reengage. I am a Cancer woman with a Cancer Venus and a Scorpio Rising. He has a Pisces moon. He is like Jeckyl and Hyde with his personality. He is so incredible and then....he did this.....He holds onto everything, he is terrible at forgiving (god forbid I disappoint him, he seems to feel the need to withdraw and go stone cold and question the entire relationship). I don't care what the hell your sign is...you don't treat people this way. It always seemed he wanted me to make it totally safe and accepting for him but he wanted to be able to keep all his options open. The worst part is that I still love him and miss him. But, I also know I can't repeatedly get my heart broken from a less then evolved Scorp People aren't kidding about the sting. It is ridiculous. He will act horrible and then sting me because I call him on it. Really put me off Scorps. IP: Logged |
coolingembers
Knowflake Posts: 447
From: California
Registered: Nov 2013
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posted February 07, 2014 02:01 AM
Astrology probably doesn't factor in MUCH here.I am going through something like this too, but he has nothing in scorpio except pluto. Unevolved men. That's the issue. You deserve better. IP: Logged |
Jo B
Knowflake Posts: 33
From:
Registered: Feb 2014
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posted February 07, 2014 02:06 AM
Jekyll and Hyde personality sounds an apt description in his case. He is putting his needs first with complete disregard to your own feelings. As hard as it may appear to be, try to move on and when/if he comes back a third time with his apologies, firmly say enough is enough. Do you really want to waste any more time on this emotional rollercoaster, are the highs worth it? As coolingembers says, you deserve better. Re Scorpio men, I've had three love interests with Scorpios in my time. Yes they can sting, and they are fixed/stubborn with it. You have to be strong in yourself to deal with that. IP: Logged |
rosedl
Knowflake Posts: 70
From:
Registered: Jan 2013
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posted February 07, 2014 02:11 AM
I agree that it is not all sign related. More his ability to become cold and punishing and make it like I never existed. I have read that Scorpios will just banish you as if you don't exist. But, the emotional unavailability is hardly just Scorpios. Seems to encompass all signs. I am seeing far too much of this behavior in relationships all around me.
IP: Logged |
Jo B
Knowflake Posts: 33
From:
Registered: Feb 2014
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posted February 07, 2014 02:33 AM
Men are so-called "emotionally unavailable" because modern society offers too many choices, they think the grass is greener, or they can get something better, so they are less likely to commit. The internet and social media has a lot to do with that I think. I wouldn't take it to heart. They'd most likely be the same with 95% of women they meet. (Sorry to sound cynical! lol) One of the Scorpio men I was involved with just banished me too, no communication, no explanation. It was very cold and somewhat brutal and kinda stunned me at the time. It took me a long time to get over him (because of the lack of closure more than anything I guess) but I look back and smile now, like I do with all my exes! I wouldn't want any of them back! IP: Logged |
rosedl
Knowflake Posts: 70
From:
Registered: Jan 2013
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posted February 07, 2014 02:34 AM
Jo B. I agree. One can't live life in that state. I took him back once and all the insight and loving words that he said when we reconciled....it was as if he never uttered those words. One thing I don't get when I read a lot of the astrology boards and forums, it is the way Scorpios (and a lot of people involved with them) seem to justify their behavior because it is such an intent sign. Even Linda's writings would have this flavor, as if they are just so powerful and intense they can't help these swings. It is just who they are... Just because you have a tendency or a chart that indicates certain negative qualities and struggles, it isn't a free pass to dismiss personal responsibility for those issues. Isn't the entire point of astrology to gain this knowledge into yourself and move past your demons. Just a side note to the post. I can just imagine if I pulled that type of entitlement with my Scorpio. He was always all about being accepted for exactly how he was..(even when that was selfish, manipulative, and controlling) but if I had the audacity not to own my possessiveness or other qualities he didn't like, I was not being independent and responsible. I wonder if people are so afraid of the Scorpio archetype, they are afraid to challenge them. My Scorpio certainly wasn't used to it, I think I was the first woman who really challenged him. Part of it stimulated him, but part of it really made him angry and he would get punishing. Always said he respected me, but I no longer reciprocate that respect. Not because he left the relationship, I can deal with that. It was how he left the relationship and the dishonesty of how he went about it. He really let the dark side win. A real shame because he is a wonderful man in a lot of ways. He could never see (no matter how gentle or patient or tactful) I tried to be in coming to him with these things) that my holding him to account for his behavior was not a personal attack. He seemed to feel so much shame and even if he agreed with what I said, it always came around again to being my fault. IP: Logged |
rosedl
Knowflake Posts: 70
From:
Registered: Jan 2013
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posted February 07, 2014 02:41 AM
Thanks JoI am not taking it personally since I have learned this is not a new pattern for him and this behavior long predates our relationship. I can understand being jaded. I am jaded. I trusted him with my whole heart after the first reconciliation and we were planning our life together. This breakup was very confusing because it was such a huge swing. Forever to GO AWAY in a couple weeks. I think it will only change as women don't put up with it and hold them to account. I was a great girlfriend to him and I deserved better then this...I wasn't perfect but I really tried and owned my stuff IP: Logged |
Jo B
Knowflake Posts: 33
From:
Registered: Feb 2014
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posted February 07, 2014 02:41 AM
You sound intelligent and very articulate, maybe he felt threatened by that?? Just a thought! lol. They can't live up to that or your expectations of them so some men project their insecurities on to YOU and somehow make you feel that YOU'RE the one in the wrong. It's a subtle and clever form of manipulation. Obviously he had many qualities you admired but really when there starts to be power struggles in relationships, that's a difficulty I can never overlook. A man should make you feel comfortable in your skin, not insecure about your actions.IP: Logged |
rosedl
Knowflake Posts: 70
From:
Registered: Jan 2013
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posted February 07, 2014 02:51 AM
I am sorry you went through that type of cold shut off as well, but it is heartening to hear how you came through it.I don't think it was my intelligence was what threatened him. It was more the fact that I saw through his manipulations and called him out and he couldn't face seeing himself like that....so he made me into the issue. He also wanted to be in control. IP: Logged |
Aries23Degrees
Knowflake Posts: 203
From: South Africa
Registered: Dec 2012
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posted February 07, 2014 03:00 AM
quote:
Originally posted by rosedl:
I fell deeply in love with a Scorpio man who broke up with me for three months. We dated for a year and a half (friends for another year and a half) and I got angry over manipulative behavior. Broke up with me like turning off a light switch. We reconciled and he came to the table apologizing for his behavior and seemed very sincere of how he hurt me and genuinely seemed to have insight into his role. We reconciled for five months, he was a dream boyfriend, we were madly in love again, then the same issues resurfaced and he did the exact same thing all over again. He was worried about his freedom and didn't want to ever be married again or live as if he was....two weeks before this he was telling me forever. I think he is a total commitment phobe, he has a lifetime of this behavior before me (come to find out). So confusing because I called him one day early in the breakup and he looked at me like he was more in love then ever. Like worshipful. But, the next day he made it clear he didn't want to reengage. I am a Cancer woman with a Cancer Venus and a Scorpio Rising. He has a Pisces moon. He is like Jeckyl and Hyde with his personality. He is so incredible and then....he did this.....He holds onto everything, he is terrible at forgiving (god forbid I disappoint him, he seems to feel the need to withdraw and go stone cold and question the entire relationship). I don't care what the hell your sign is...you don't treat people this way. It always seemed he wanted me to make it totally safe and accepting for him but he wanted to be able to keep all his options open. The worst part is that I still love him and miss him. But, I also know I can't repeatedly get my heart broken from a less then evolved Scorp People aren't kidding about the sting. It is ridiculous. He will act horrible and then sting me because I call him on it. Really put me off Scorps.
Is your Mars making aspects with his Pluto?
Is your Moon making aspects with his Pluto?
Is your Mars making aspects with his Moon? IP: Logged |
Jo B
Knowflake Posts: 33
From:
Registered: Feb 2014
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posted February 07, 2014 03:07 AM
That's what I meant by intelligence.  You had the common sense to see what he was doing. In some ways no-one can make you feel any better about the situation by saying things like "you deserve better" or "he's a fickle b******" because only YOU experienced it and to YOU it was special. When Scorpio man banished me, for months I was hankering after him, thinking "I will never meet another man like him" and basically torturing myself for a long time! Then I stumbled on his FB page a few years ago (where he was pictured with his current, imo fairly unglamorous girlfriend (ooh miaowww!) and my first thoughts were "hmmm you've aged" and "I don't feel anything for you whatsoever!" lol. But then I'm Virgo, and fickle like that!  My mother is Cancer btw, my father (rest his soul) was Leo (fixed, like Scorpio). Their relationship didn't last the course (although they never divorced) but he always held her in highest regard and probably felt intimidated by her intelligence and drive. IP: Logged |
GypseeWind
Knowflake Posts: 5915
From: Love Street, she lingers long on Love Street..
Registered: May 2009
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posted February 07, 2014 04:16 AM
I had a similar situation, although mine stretched out over 6 years and he screwed me over 3 times. The third time was in Sept. when we were moving in together. I won't go into details since this is YOUR thread, lol, but does your Scorpio have a lot of Sag in his chart or aspects to Neptune?Mine had a Sag moon conj nept and venus and he was just a stuck on Frat Boi For Life or something, even though he's in his mid 30s.
He runs away when he senses that he's needed.
But he did the same thing to me; talking, texting how much in love he was and blah blah but when it came time to actually MOVE he totally backed out. I'm sorry that this happened to you. IP: Logged |
Jo B
Knowflake Posts: 33
From:
Registered: Feb 2014
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posted February 07, 2014 05:56 AM
Not relating to Scorpio men but this is just an example of how psycho men can be when it comes to relationships. I was involved with an Aquarius man (again, fixed sign) who really drained my confidence pretty quickly. In retrospect I realized he was a narcissistic egotist but of course I didn't see that at the time, I was in love. So when he felt I was making demands on him emotionally he did the whole "she's clingy" avoidance thing (ha! clingy? I was actually going out of my way to avoid him publicly when I realized he didn't want anything serious) and went completely cold on me. Then about a year later he contacted me by email saying how he'd made the biggest mistake of his life letting me go and wanted to have another go with me, even said he would marry and have kids with me (too late for kids for me so no chance there! lol). I was of course completely over him by this stage and took great delight in turning him down, and spelt out a few home truths about his behaviour back then too. Men never cease to amaze me with their player tactics. lol He ended up marrying someone who looked a lot like me, she fell pregnant fairly quickly, and now they are divorcing after 3 years of marriage. I feel sorry for her, shes obviously had to endure the egotism too. IP: Logged |
LeonisStar
Knowflake Posts: 150
From: Daytona beach, FL, USA
Registered: Jan 2013
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posted February 07, 2014 12:16 PM
I wouldn't say it's just men. I have a Scorpio friend who has done this in many, many, many, many, MANY relationships and I've been there through all of them. She will claim with each and every relationship that she has never been so in love and even when things go downhill she'll usually stick it out and take the beating for a very long time until suddenly, unexpectedly, she's gone. The last relationship she was in she told me she could never see them breaking up (even though he treated her like dirt) and when things DID get a lot better suddenly she felt the need to leave. When I asked her why she broke up with him she said she didn't know, but seemed pretty sad about it. The same thing happened with the ex before that one.That is pretty much a testament to the "intensity" everyone talks about with Scorpios. If they have the urge to do something and it IS that intense, they just do it. You can go ahead and rule out any logic and reason. You deserve better, like everyone else has said in this thread.  IP: Logged |
Venusian Moon
Knowflake Posts: 1481
From: Nyc
Registered: Feb 2013
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posted February 07, 2014 12:22 PM
A scorpio man will keep coming back if he really does care about you. As a person who has dated many i will give u some good advice.They dive right in and give u their all then start playing games and become unstable.
Cut him off for good. No calls, no texts, no emails. If you dont cut them off they will keep coming back and forth. Its all up to you.
IP: Logged |
Jo B
Knowflake Posts: 33
From:
Registered: Feb 2014
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posted February 07, 2014 02:42 PM
quote:
Originally posted by LeonisStar:
The last relationship she was in she told me she could never see them breaking up (even though he treated her like dirt) and when things DID get a lot better suddenly she felt the need to leave.
Wow, sounds like a lot more was at play here than merely being a Scorpio. She sounds a bit masochistic. lol Maybe some people enjoy being a victim (with all the drama that goes with it) and then when something is actually GOOD, they're freaked out by it or simply get BORED by the stability. IP: Logged |
NeptunianSag
Knowflake Posts: 480
From: Your imagination
Registered: Aug 2013
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posted February 07, 2014 02:52 PM
Scorpios are confusing as hell, it's better to have your dignity and self worth than throw it away to a Scorpio. Scorpios are good for the short term but it's really hard over the long term. IP: Logged |
incognito
Knowflake Posts: 136
From:
Registered: Dec 2013
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posted February 07, 2014 03:20 PM
He married someone who looked like you. LOL.
I LOVE THIS. quote:
Originally posted by Jo B:
Not relating to Scorpio men but this is just an example of how psycho men can be when it comes to relationships. I was involved with an Aquarius man (again, fixed sign) who really drained my confidence pretty quickly. In retrospect I realized he was a narcissistic egotist but of course I didn't see that at the time, I was in love. So when he felt I was making demands on him emotionally he did the whole "she's clingy" avoidance thing (ha! clingy? I was actually going out of my way to avoid him publicly when I realized he didn't want anything serious) and went completely cold on me. Then about a year later he contacted me by email saying how he'd made the biggest mistake of his life letting me go and wanted to have another go with me, even said he would marry and have kids with me (too late for kids for me so no chance there! lol). I was of course completely over him by this stage and took great delight in turning him down, and spelt out a few home truths about his behaviour back then too. Men never cease to amaze me with their player tactics. lol He ended up marrying someone who looked a lot like me, she fell pregnant fairly quickly, and now they are divorcing after 3 years of marriage. I feel sorry for her, shes obviously had to endure the egotism too.
IP: Logged |
Venusincap89
Knowflake Posts: 170
From:
Registered: Jul 2013
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posted February 07, 2014 04:17 PM
I noticed how talking about one man led to talking about men in general
not all men are 'unevolved' plz dont let next lucky one suffer because of your unfortunate past acquaintances (?)IP: Logged |
Jo B
Knowflake Posts: 33
From:
Registered: Feb 2014
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posted February 07, 2014 05:37 PM
quote:
Originally posted by Venusincap89:
I noticed how talking about one man led to talking about men in general
not all men are 'unevolved' plz dont let next lucky one suffer because of your unfortunate past acquaintances (?)
Of course not Venusincap but we are talking about the one's who are. lol. Actually "unevolved" is probably the wrong word, I was thinking more of the controlling, manipulative ones, who are often quite intelligent men. IP: Logged |
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