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Author
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Topic: It's all too much
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charkitt
Newflake Posts: 8
From:
Registered: Nov 2013
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posted February 07, 2014 10:35 PM
  
I am writing this so my life won't be a complete waste of time. Hopefully someone will be able to glean something of use from it. Born 10-6-59 at 10:16a in Fresno CA.
If you check out my chart you can see that this is the most difficult time and it is not going to be getting any better soon. We're talking decades. This past decade has been some combination of good and bad the worst starting in 2011 when i became homeless. Now with most of the planets squaring or opposing most everything i can no longer take it.
My money and resources are gone. I have no family or friends to lean on and the one saving grace is my pickup which i live in is in constant need of fixes. I have spent 12k dollars to ensure that it would make it during a very trying time but the universe has seen to it's demise none the less.
Charlatan mechanics and bein taken advantage of by most of them here in Sacramento has made it impossible to continue.
Earlier today through the frustration of trying to do the simplist repair and failing has left me at a local Starbucks trying to find soulutions when i finally woke up to the fact that this is just the begining of what promises to be a living hell for many, many years to come. I was hoping to make it to a Saturn conjuct with Jupiter in the next few month has lead to the realization that Pluto will be squaring all of my personal planets in the coming decades. So much for trying to hang on for a couple of months more with the $200 i have left from my retirement.IP: Logged |
NandiNode
Knowflake Posts: 52
From:
Registered: Sep 2013
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posted February 07, 2014 10:42 PM
Just reading this wishing I could say something helpful.IP: Logged |
NandiNode
Knowflake Posts: 52
From:
Registered: Sep 2013
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posted February 07, 2014 10:49 PM
Your progressed moon is still in your twelfth and squaring your Pluto. That, at least, will pass.IP: Logged |
Eyesofmystery
Knowflake Posts: 113
From: ENGLAND
Registered: Jan 2014
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posted February 07, 2014 10:49 PM
quote:
Originally posted by charkitt:
I am writing this so my life won't be a complete waste of time. Hopefully someone will be able to glean something of use from it. Born 10-6-59 at 10:16a in Fresno CA.
If you check out my chart you can see that this is the most difficult time and it is not going to be getting any better soon. We're talking decades. This past decade has been some combination of good and bad the worst starting in 2011 when i became homeless. Now with most of the planets squaring or opposing most everything i can no longer take it.
My money and resources are gone. I have no family or friends to lean on and the one saving grace is my pickup which i live in is in constant need of fixes. I have spent 12k dollars to ensure that it would make it during a very trying time but the universe has seen to it's demise none the less.
Charlatan mechanics and bein taken advantage of by most of them here in Sacramento has made it impossible to continue.
Earlier today through the frustration of trying to do the simplist repair and failing has left me at a local Starbucks trying to find soulutions when i finally woke up to the fact that this is just the begining of what promises to be a living hell for many, many years to come. I was hoping to make it to a Saturn conjuct with Jupiter in the next few month has lead to the realization that Pluto will be squaring all of my personal planets in the coming decades. So much for trying to hang on for a couple of months more with the $200 i have left from my retirement.
I am sorry to hear this. But with the nature of humanity being so expansive on the earth. Major squares, negative influences, will be in the charts of many many millions of people day in day out who will not be having bad times. Maybe you are putting too much emphasis on astrology? If you truly believe something then maybe it is a placebo spiraling out of all control. Maybe you should just move away from astrology altogether and try and be happy and find peace? this faith you place in astrology seems to be making your situation worse! IP: Logged |
charkitt
Newflake Posts: 8
From:
Registered: Nov 2013
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posted February 07, 2014 10:58 PM
With pluto, venus, uranus and jupiter, my sun completes a grand cross of misery and dispare. As a bonus, saturn is currently in my 12th house squaring my uranus and nepture is squaring my ascendant and mars has and will be conjuncting my sun(in the cross for a while longer.
I going to take that as a cosmic 'hint' and do the right thing. Fortunatly my 8th house ruler is conjucnt my ascendant making that little bit of information acurate in my case.
What is interesting is that my progessed pluto is going to be conjucnt my progessed 8th house cusp exactly very soon. Cool how that worked out. I guess there is no avoiding your fate. I am trying but the universe will have it's way.
Astrology has proved, for me anyway, to be dead on balls accurate.
Oh, check this out. In 1998, I was a day trader and fairly sucessful too. My biggest day was 11-27-1998 when the transiting ruler of my 5th house sextiled my natal Jupiter and formed a Yod to transiting Saturn (2nd house ruler) in my 5th house conjuncting Sedna. Made a bundle in one trade.
What i found interesting as well is a voice compeling me to wake up and check the market. Trippy to say the least. IP: Logged |
Eyesofmystery
Knowflake Posts: 113
From: ENGLAND
Registered: Jan 2014
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posted February 07, 2014 11:02 PM
quote:
Originally posted by charkitt:
I am writing this so my life won't be a complete waste of time. Hopefully someone will be able to glean something of use from it. Born 10-6-59 at 10:16a in Fresno CA.
If you check out my chart you can see that this is the most difficult time and it is not going to be getting any better soon. We're talking decades. This past decade has been some combination of good and bad the worst starting in 2011 when i became homeless. Now with most of the planets squaring or opposing most everything i can no longer take it.
My money and resources are gone. I have no family or friends to lean on and the one saving grace is my pickup which i live in is in constant need of fixes. I have spent 12k dollars to ensure that it would make it during a very trying time but the universe has seen to it's demise none the less.
Charlatan mechanics and bein taken advantage of by most of them here in Sacramento has made it impossible to continue.
Earlier today through the frustration of trying to do the simplist repair and failing has left me at a local Starbucks trying to find soulutions when i finally woke up to the fact that this is just the begining of what promises to be a living hell for many, many years to come. I was hoping to make it to a Saturn conjuct with Jupiter in the next few month has lead to the realization that Pluto will be squaring all of my personal planets in the coming decades. So much for trying to hang on for a couple of months more with the $200 i have left from my retirement.
Please remember the stars do not compel you. And saturn is not here to punish you it's a teacher. If you stick this out it WILL get better and you will be so much bigger and better as a person. This hard time will get better and won't last a long long time. there are no influences in astrology that are that long lasting. At all! so don't kid yourself or get yourself down. Just stick it out and be strong, this is not the stars making this happen to you. There has to be actions on your part on in life too. Del with them and the rest will come. # If you are homeless try and get social help until you are back on your feet? Surely you have welfare or a safety net for people?
IP: Logged |
Eyesofmystery
Knowflake Posts: 113
From: ENGLAND
Registered: Jan 2014
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posted February 07, 2014 11:06 PM
quote:
Originally posted by charkitt:
With pluto, venus, uranus and jupiter, my sun completes a grand cross of misery and dispare. As a bonus, saturn is currently in my 12th house squaring my uranus and nepture is squaring my ascendant and mars has and will be conjuncting my sun(in the cross for a while longer.
I going to take that as a cosmic 'hint' and do the right thing. Fortunatly my 8th house ruler is conjucnt my ascendant making that little bit of information acurate in my case.
What is interesting is that my progessed pluto is going to be conjucnt my progessed 8th house cusp exactly very soon. Cool how that worked out. I guess there is no avoiding your fate. I am trying but the universe will have it's way.
Astrology has proved, for me anyway, to be dead on balls accurate.
Oh, check this out. In 1998, I was a day trader and fairly sucessful too. My biggest day was 11-27-1998 when the transiting ruler of my 5th house sextiled my natal Jupiter and formed a Yod to transiting Saturn (2nd house ruler) in my 5th house conjuncting Sedna. Made a bundle in one trade.
What i found interesting as well is a voice compeling me to wake up and check the market. Trippy to say the least.
Please stop talking like that and get help you will be fine. And you can come back stronger, Please call somebody and get help things will be OK if you do that. Astrology is not an accurate science it is an observation of a natural phenomena. Neptune and Uranus are very peripheral planets that are modern, schools of thought are split on then and they are not important. Saturn is a teacher not a punixher. There is no 'hint' for you to hurt yourself. Only a 'hint' for you to stick it out and be strong and try and change. Maybe this attitude of giving up is what needs to change. You are still only in your 50s, you have a lot of life to live. And if you just get over this hurdle you can live happily.
IP: Logged |
NandiNode
Knowflake Posts: 52
From:
Registered: Sep 2013
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posted February 07, 2014 11:07 PM
Eckhart Tolle had a Pluto opposition going just before he "hit bottom" and transformed his life. (I'm not an expert on him or anything I just remember looking at that chart). I think the point of hard transits, if any, even long-term ones, isn't just to cause us endless suffering or to make us give up but to transform us.IP: Logged |
Eyesofmystery
Knowflake Posts: 113
From: ENGLAND
Registered: Jan 2014
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posted February 07, 2014 11:11 PM
Charkitt you are saying some pretty extreme things. You need to seek help if you are so deeply troubled right now. You should never consider suicide over a transit of a planet. There are BILLIONS of people on earth. Many of them going through what we would look at as bad transits right now. who will not be having a bad time at all. You are making your hard time worse for yourself by thinking it is some inescapable divine punishment. There is no such thing, either in reality, or even in astrology. Stick it out, be strong, seek a little bit of help, if you are broke get social help, you can not be so destructive and reactionary and then wonder why Saturn is hurting you. It is what you are doing in yor own life that is hurting you. The planets are neither here nor there. Giving up and thinking you should hurt yourself over astrology is part of the problem. Just leave astrology and DEDICATE yourself to improving your life and being strong. and you will get better. :S IP: Logged |
charkitt
Newflake Posts: 8
From:
Registered: Nov 2013
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posted February 07, 2014 11:28 PM
I have tried all available govenment resouces and strangly been denied?? (homeless, broke, oh yeah, crippled, i forgot to mention that, older and female)(people are really hard on old women who have lost their looks.)
I am not one to live in the back vacant lot with the addicts for the sole purpose of living. Nothing against addicts mind you. They have their crosses to bear, but they at least have each other and a reason to continue.
I really believe in quality of life as being a reason to live. When that is gone and pain and suffering is all that is left there is no point. And when the pattern is producing and projecting the worst well...
But on too better topics.
Addressing the moon squaring pluto in progessed chart. It is also squaring my sun.
Ooo, when my progessed sun changed signs into sagittarius, (before i studied astrology,) i went on a really long drive (1.5 years)after my divorce. That was cool.
Another interesing factoid, I have lived 99% of my life in my 12th house and my 4th house cusp is pisces. just made that connection last week.
IP: Logged |
charkitt
Newflake Posts: 8
From:
Registered: Nov 2013
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posted February 07, 2014 11:55 PM
Ok, you guys are not taking this in the spirit it was intended. Making the connections to the patterns and confirming their validity. Unless of course you don't really believe.
I also believe that unless you walk a mile in my moccasins you can't really appreciate the pain and suffering, physical and emotional, that i am going thru.
I HAVE NO ONE. I HAVE NO JOB, NO FAMILY, NO FRIENDS, NO CONFIDANTS, I AM IN PAIN FROM THE ARTHRITIS AND DEFORMITYS THAT HAVE DEVELOPED FROM IT. I am alone in the world without anyone to help. Not the strangers i meet nor the govenment employees i BEG to help me.
I mentioned to a fellow homeless person that what was left in my storage would have to be forfeited, she said "ooo, give it me, if you are just going to give it away". This is what life on the bottom is. They would sooner help you on your way than help you out.
Till you experience this complete alienation from what you believed was a just life, you can't imagine how cruel life can become. Now I can. Sad this lesson comes now when I am helpless to help others in a more legitimate way.
This is why i started this thread. To contribute what i have left. This knowledge. This understanding.IP: Logged |
charkitt
Newflake Posts: 8
From:
Registered: Nov 2013
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posted February 08, 2014 12:06 AM
FYI, I don't think saturn is hurting me. I think, that like everything in nature there are patterns that are followed from genitic to the way a river will flow. And the planets just mark the time. This is not punishment this is destiny. These are the lessons that i have to learn and i am afraid that i have had enough. Time to reboot. Do over. I am tired and alone and have had enough. Sorry you can't take my gift for what it was intended as. I was hoping that maybe someone could make some use of it. Maybe someone will. Sad, I had more to empart. So many wonderful connections i've made to the patterns.IP: Logged |
NandiNode
Knowflake Posts: 52
From:
Registered: Sep 2013
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posted February 08, 2014 12:11 AM
We are not making light of your suffering. Eyes tried to ask you about the real practical issues you are facing, I tried to address the astrology of it. Though I thought Eyes had a point, that maybe it wasn't helping you much.
Neither of us wants to validate the idea that yes, you should end it. Astrologically or otherwise.
When you say things like "well on to better topics" it's confusing to me and I don't in fact feel I know what the spirit your thread is intended in.IP: Logged |
charkitt
Newflake Posts: 8
From:
Registered: Nov 2013
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posted February 08, 2014 12:59 AM
The spirit is knowlege. Passing it on and recieving it. I have come to a point where i am faced with a decision. I can face the elements and live a cold, wet, dangerous, life in the company of strangers who have completly different life experiences than me and who want to hurt me.
Or i can end my life with a modicum of dignity in the warmth of my own bed in my truck (the one that no longer works and will be towed and empounded at my expence (ha)for failing to work) quickly and quietly in peace. And as it happens, i just discovered that that is supported in my natal chart. I think that's a hoot. Fate is written in the stars.
If i'd had my druthers, i would still be in excellent health, i took care of myself. But fate had something else in mind regardless of what i "willed". And believe it or not astrology bears this out. I think that's amazing and because i've discovered so much, i want to share it with someone who would appreciate it. Ever tried to tell anyone you know that astrology works? Get anything other than a derisive snort and laugh? I haven't.
This is my point.IP: Logged |
Libcap
Knowflake Posts: 100
From: NYC
Registered: Aug 2013
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posted February 08, 2014 01:19 AM
Saturn is more of a teacher. A transformer. My family was in a very similar situation as the one you are in. When people tell you it's going to get better or to have faith it's annoying because they've never been through it. It's practically impossible to think positively in that situation. But so many people go through it and I believe change is the only constant phenomenon. We finally got out of our crazy unbearable rut. I truly believe that everything will be okay in the end. Read some Alan Watts I think he's soothing and really makes some interesting points that a person in any situation can find some meaning. I have trouble believing you have no one. You must have someone and if you think you don't look for connection for some type of help. It's the only way to progress. Going about it alone will be harder. IP: Logged |
charkitt
Newflake Posts: 8
From:
Registered: Nov 2013
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posted February 08, 2014 01:35 AM
Check this out. Billions of people are going through difficult times. Most of those people have "others". Family, friends, spouses. These alter their destinies with the addition of the "others" charts to theirs. Synatry. It alters your path and theirs. It softens the hard bits or conversly adds them. Because i am Truly alone, my chart is pretty pat. Pluto conjunct Venus square Asc. and Desc. pretty much guaranteed that. They also square my chart ruler and my moon which is my 8th house ruler because both are conjunct my Asc.
Heres another weird bit. Saturn (2nd house ruler) is square my NN and SN. Both times Saturn conjuncted my NN i was arrested on traffic violations and put in jail. (unpaid parking tickets will come back to haunt you). Not sure why traffic. Maybe because its the only place i fudged the law. Or maybe because Jupiter is my chart ruler? Oh well, I could write a book about the sycronicitys between the transits and events in my life that i've found but i suspect that no one is really interested nor would they truly believe. So, while i wish to contribute something to the science of astrology i don't think this is the right forum.
Transiting Moon square natal pluto conjunct natal venus square Asc. IP: Logged |
charkitt
Newflake Posts: 8
From:
Registered: Nov 2013
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posted February 08, 2014 01:49 AM
Libcap, I can appreciate that you find it hard to believe that there are people out here who are alone. That we must somehow have "someone". I assure you, while we are not leigon, there are plenty. I see them everyday. There are so many homeless people here were i am. But the truly hard cases will break your heart. They are the piriahs, the untouchables, that even the homeless people shun and make fun of. It's so sad to hear a fellow homeless person berate another because they believe themselves above the loners, schizophrinics and lost. Next time your out and about take a look at your homeless population. There are many there who truly have no one else in their lives. IP: Logged |
Lindaland
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