Thread Closed  Topic Closed
  Lindaland
  Astrology 2.0
  Abusive aspects in synastry

Post New Topic  
profile | register | preferences | faq


This topic has been transferred to this forum: Interpersonal Astrology.
next newest topic | next oldest topic
Author Topic:   Abusive aspects in synastry
foxxyxo
Knowflake

Posts: 413
From:
Registered: May 2012

posted February 18, 2014 12:50 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for foxxyxo     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
ok this is a really serious topic for me....and i never want this to happen to me again, so with that said ill give you guys some info...

i had a relationship of 4 years that ended about 8 months ago....we had such a loving beautiful relationship, he put so much love and warmth in my life, always felt so loved by him. anyways unfortunately towards the end of our relationship he started to rely heavily on drugs for his own personal reasons which interferred with our relationship, things started getting a lil physical, so i ended it without thinking twice..


now im with this other guy who comes off like the sweetest guy you'll ever meet, he'll whisper in your ear, pay for everything, just hang out with you all day and have a great time, tons of laughter, we just click, we clicked instantly right from the start and our sexual chemistry is amaaaaaazzzzzzing omg yes. were really close and really can talk to eachother about anything, he sings to me all the time, but i do notice he lies to me and his friends to make himself look better, alooooot. red flag. when we first met, for first 2 months he was pretty clingy, wanted to hang out with me all day everyday, i needed some space so id leave for a bit but then hed start to say "if you dont come over ill be ****** and ill have to call some ugly girl over" red flag....him being really clingy, red flag.....anyways fast forward, were still hanging out but he constantly will steal my phone wen i say no please. he has looked through every single thing. text messages pictures. he just invaded my privacy. has done it plenty of times. but reason why im typing this is because he has gotten physical with me....and it has shocked me that he is now treating me like this when he use to be so sweet to me....this past week and weekend he has called me everyday to hang out, (when we hang out we dont always have sex we just chill and enjoy eachothers company) and we went on a trip this past weekend. i was really drunk did some dumb things, never cheated on him thought, and he punched me in the face, choked me, and dragged my body around. thats just an example, he chokes me alot tho and slaps me. for example. i wanted to take a shower athis house. i didnt have any clean clothes so i asked if i could borrow his shirt, he said yes, his friends even vouched for me and said yea you said she could wear ur shirt. what does he do? he sees me wearing his shirt, gets so mad and slaps me so hard across the face. theres so many more times this has happened. i know im being abused. its past the point of playfulness, way past the point. im addicted to his beautiful sweet loving side when were alone, but then when were around his friends, he abuses me.

alot of sites say his doing this because you let him, but im not satisfied with that answer, i NEED to know, is it because he loves me so much, that he hates me? is he trying to control me? is he just an extremely insecure coward and doesnt know how to solve problems or what upsets him verbally instead of physically? is he secretly jealous of me and wants to kill me? why call me all the time to hang out and come over then be treated like **** ? is he dependent on me? he gets very jealous when other guys hit on me and he has told me that he hates me....

if someone says you let him do this to you, were going to have problems lol i know i do cause i keep hanging out with him. i just want to know WHY he does this, what is going on with him on the inside? i just want to understand. i cant talk to my family about it, my friends understand but i dont wanna burden them totally cause i just have so many questions. oh yes and im cutting ties with him, itll be hard cause i see him everywhere but its over. his a ******* loser.

im pretty btw, not to sound cocky, but i model and dance and a lot of people know me through what i do. his also very pretty, his face looks like an abercrombie model, but his just so skinny and has messed up teeth :/

anyways, when i looked at our synastry i wasnt really alarmed of any abusive aspects but i could be overlooking something

his aquarius moon falls in my 12th house and our composite sag moon falls in the 12 house as well....i could be living some really bad karma??

my libra moon conjuncts his libra asc with pluto in his first house exactly (could explain the dependency) i really care for him and want to almost "mother" him take care of him, make sure his always happy

his aqua moon exactly squares my scorpio venus

my mars sextiles his moon and trines his sun (could explain hostility towards me?)

his saturn trines my merc, which from my view doesnt seem like a bad aspects but maybe it actually is? and my saturn squares his mercury

he has mercury in leo=could explain his cocky narcisstic "i never do anything wrong" mentality

his north node conjuncts my MC exactly and my moon sextiles his north node exactly

IP: Logged

DeepFreeze
unregistered
posted February 18, 2014 01:13 AM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
You know, Astrology aside and looks aside and his sweet side aside... run.
Here's a site that you can look at if you want. It's interesting if nothing else. http://www.drjoecarver.com/clients/49355/File/IdentifyingLosers.html

Otherwise, Astrologically, my experience has just been lots of squares. I had a TON of squares with someone and it was abusive. I'm a guy but she would punch me and throw things at me. Verbally abuse me and used those things to make me feel trapped.

Of the things you listed, Venus square moon seems like it could be one perhaps.

IP: Logged

foxxyxo
Knowflake

Posts: 413
From:
Registered: May 2012

posted February 18, 2014 01:19 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for foxxyxo     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
thanks for the website ill definately look into it, why did she do that to you though? was she a miserable person on the inside? was she afraid you were going to leave?

IP: Logged

Barbiegirl19
unregistered
posted February 18, 2014 01:27 AM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
First things first is he a Virgo lol? My ex sounds identical!!! He was the exact same way in the beginning. Really sweet and nice to me and out of nowhere he got extremely clingy and needed to be around me or talking to me all d@mn day. I'm not sure what I did exactly but it's like one day he just started getting really mean with me. Call me every name in the book, make fun of me and occasionally hit me. I really cared for the kid and didn't think too much of it although I knew and should have ended it then. I ended up moving in with him and it's like after that point all hell broke loose. He was really sweet and excited like he had been when we first got together and it's like literally not even a month after living there he snapped. He'd punch me and slap me and choke me. Push me into doors, the floor. Literally anything that he could do to hurt me he did. It's like he'd wake up every single morning and hated his life and the fact that I was in it. His family all knew what he was doing to me and did nothing. So finally after almost 3 years of living with him I moved out and haven't seen him since.

My best advice for you would be to stay away from him. Don't text him or call him. Don't accept any of his texts or calls. Really isolate yourself from him and he'll get over it, hopefully. My ex did.

IP: Logged

DeepFreeze
unregistered
posted February 18, 2014 01:33 AM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by foxxyxo:
thanks for the website ill definately look into it, why did she do that to you though? was she a miserable person on the inside? was she afraid you were going to leave?

To put it shortly, she had extreme insecurity issues and jealousy.
She made fake FB profiles to test me. She always thought I was cheating, etc, and she had "break-up panic" - that fear that I would leave.

IP: Logged

LucieLemonade
Knowflake

Posts: 1592
From:
Registered: Sep 2013

posted February 18, 2014 02:00 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for LucieLemonade     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I agree with DeepFreeze. He's crossed boundaries already. You need to move on. I know it's not easy, but it is for the best.


quote:
Originally posted by DeepFreeze:
You know, Astrology aside and looks aside and his sweet side aside... run.
Here's a site that you can look at if you want. It's interesting if nothing else. http://www.drjoecarver.com/clients/49355/File/IdentifyingLosers.html

Otherwise, Astrologically, my experience has just been lots of squares. I had a TON of squares with someone and it was abusive. I'm a guy but she would punch me and throw things at me. Verbally abuse me and used those things to make me feel trapped.

Of the things you listed, Venus square moon seems like it could be one perhaps.


Out of curiousity, how many are "a ton o' squares"?

IP: Logged

acousticbob
Knowflake

Posts: 150
From: UK
Registered: Aug 2010

posted February 18, 2014 02:07 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for acousticbob     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
12th house or maybe 8th house synastry sound about right. But regardless of the synastry- this sounds like an extreme real life situation that you need to focus all your energy on leaving. Good luck.

IP: Logged

DeepFreeze
unregistered
posted February 18, 2014 02:29 AM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I guess it's 6 and an opposition.
3 to my Pluto and double whammy sun square Mars among a couple others.

IP: Logged

foxxyxo
Knowflake

Posts: 413
From:
Registered: May 2012

posted February 18, 2014 03:56 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for foxxyxo     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
barbiegirl, omg it must be a virgo thing!!!! his not a virgo, but his venus is in virgo and his a leo. i think those have to be the worst combinations cause leos will have this huge ego but then there always critisizing themselves with the virgo influence. majjjjoooooorrrrrrr insecurities. hands down biggest dissappointment ever. i almost just wanna meet his first love who cheated on him and slap her cause she really messed him up for life. well i guess that wouldve happened anyways eventuall since his so sensitive......UGHHHHHHHHHHHHH >: so dissappointing

i read virgos r soooooooo critical of themselves so they also need to have a partner who is impossibly perfect so they dont feel embarrassed or look bad. this sounds so lame and boring if you ask me. im such a free spirit that i just **** him off so much but i think at same time he secretly envys that about me because his spirit is so restrained..


its like they get abusive once they know we love and care for them .

3 years?! holy crap girl how did you survive. that is such a long time to be dealing with that much abuse. are you okay now? that can be so damaging to ur self esteem i can only imagine

IP: Logged

foxxyxo
Knowflake

Posts: 413
From:
Registered: May 2012

posted February 18, 2014 03:58 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for foxxyxo     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
deepfreeze, omg do they tests!!!! ew she sounds so creepy she needs to get a life. my guy will lie to get info out if me and he knows info about me that i have no idea how he wouldve found out otherwise unless he stalked me behind my back......its so weird, its like why cant ppl get honesty and communication really is the key to everything. deep deep trust issues for sure.

IP: Logged

cappy1277
unregistered
posted February 18, 2014 08:01 AM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Mars/Pluto synastry hard aspects is an indicator. Any harsh Pluto contacts as well.

Astrology aside, you need to run like he'll from this guy. The 1st guy you did it without much thought but you are giving this guy way too much consideration.

IP: Logged

Doux Rêve
Knowflake

Posts: 9926
From:
Registered: Dec 2010

posted February 18, 2014 08:24 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Doux Rêve     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I'm really sorry about your situation, foxxy. It's really terrible.

Please get out of it asap and take good care of yourself. This is serious...

Can you create a new thread in Personal Readings and post:

- your natal chart (with transits)
- his natal chart (with transits)
- your synastry
- your composite (with transits)

Or give the birth dates, if you don't feel like doing all that.

I'm really interested in seeing what all those charts look like...

Usually there are indicators in the natal chart for both abuse and victimization - and the synastry and/or composite can activate them big time.

Again, please stay away from that person and don't look back.
Stay strong!

IP: Logged

LucieLemonade
Knowflake

Posts: 1592
From:
Registered: Sep 2013

posted February 18, 2014 01:16 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for LucieLemonade     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by DeepFreeze:
I guess it's 6 and an opposition.
3 to my Pluto and double whammy sun square Mars among a couple others.

I had a feeling you were going to say that. :-o Someone else once said 3 squares.

My ex and I had 14 squares & 5 oppositions just counting the planets and 23 & 10 if we include Chiron, angles and NN. We had 15 very good years together and still have a great relationship. But anyway, that is a topic for another thread. Maybe I'll start one.


Anyway, back on topic: As other has been saying, whatever the astrology what this guy is doing is just wrong. There aren't subtle warning signs. They are perfectly clear warning signs.

IP: Logged

StarlightSmileSupreme
Knowflake

Posts: 9169
From: neptune
Registered: Nov 2012

posted February 18, 2014 02:09 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for StarlightSmileSupreme     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Foxxy, he does it because he is jealous and insecure.

IP: Logged

foxxyxo
Knowflake

Posts: 413
From:
Registered: May 2012

posted February 18, 2014 03:29 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for foxxyxo     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
the only pluto aspect we have is that my pluto squares his sun tightly but i always read that was good and it calls for insant chemistry which is what we had

o yea and my pluto squares his moon

omg and i just remembered his lillith squares my moon and trines my venus and aspects my ASC, and in my natal chart i have those same exact aspects, my lillith squares my moon trines my venus and sextiles my ASC...i think that has to be it

doux reve, could i send you our birth dates and time and location in everything to your email?? i would really love and appreciate you doing this for me, thank you

IP: Logged

Jo B
unregistered
posted February 18, 2014 08:21 PM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by foxxyxo:
alot of sites say his doing this because you let him, but im not satisfied with that answer, i NEED to know, is it because he loves me so much, that he hates me? is he trying to control me? is he just an extremely insecure coward and doesnt know how to solve problems or what upsets him verbally instead of physically? is he secretly jealous of me and wants to kill me?

Why are you even bothering to ask all those questions? GET OUT!

And those sites are actually right when they say you are letting him do this. You know the saying about physical abuse: "if it happens once, it's HIS fault, if it happens twice, it's YOUR fault."?

I've been hit once in my life by a long term partner and once is ENOUGH. Actually it's even laughable considering I'm a pretty physically strong woman, certainly no pushoever, have always been a bit of a tomboy, and all my other boyfriends, male colleagues, etc, have 100% respected me, even been intimidated. But anyway, it happened, and it was awful, something I hope will never happen in my life again. In my case the guy was schizo - wonderfully charming one minute, violent temper the next. I didn't see it coming.

So, to reiterate what the others have said, don't give him a second thought or chance, cut all contact, ties, communication and MOVE ON. You owe it to yourself.

IP: Logged

vansio
Knowflake

Posts: 2000
From: the outskirts of Delphi
Registered: Dec 2017

posted October 11, 2021 09:31 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for vansio     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
bump

IP: Logged

Randall
Webmaster

Posts: 148537
From: I hold a Juris Doctorate (J.D.) and a Legum Magister (LL.M.)!
Registered: Apr 2009

posted October 11, 2021 01:25 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Randall     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Moving to Interpersonal Astrology.

IP: Logged

All times are Eastern Standard Time

next newest topic | next oldest topic

Administrative Options: Open Topic | Archive/Move | Delete Topic
Post New Topic  
Hop to:

Contact Us | Linda-Goodman.com

Copyright 2000-2021

Powered by Infopop www.infopop.com © 2000
Ultimate Bulletin Board 5.46a