posted February 25, 2014 12:07 AM            

I feel I've out tired the relationship forums on this one and could really use some understanding here on 'LL that I love (if nothing else).

Well first off im a pisces sun.
Cap mars conjunct neptune in 2nd house sextile moon in 12th scorpio both tight. 7° trine Taurus Venus.

Maybe its the conjunction to neptune. Or chiron in 8th. But (and im not sure how detailed I can really be here), its very difficult for me to climax. Its hard for me to know what really makes me tick, know what useful information to give my partner.

With cap its like I just go with the flow, and for some reason I dont have much in the way of imagination (at least no fantasies to speak of. With taurus and 2nd house placements I's say the sensual descript fits me to a T.

Anyways my bf has virgo venus/mars conjunct in his 12th house squares his jupiter and nodes. Trine my mars and opposes my sun. We both have venus oppose sun DW.

In short our venus and mars are all earth placements. And its seems we're both having a difficult type. Since I rarely climax he seems to be having performance anxiety. I think what we both want more than anything is to get the other one off. And doing so is what turns us on individually so its not getting us anywhere. And we're both pretty submissive. We both want to be given directions and are both hesitant I guess to suggest things.

posted February 25, 2014 12:13 AM            

Um wondering...well many things.

What do you think of the venus and mars star signs? Do they accurately describe you?

Do you have any similar aspects that you've struggled with or overcome? Any mars/venus virgo people that can tell me a bit about yourself?

Can anyone relate to this? Or know about earth/earth combo's? Any advice?

posted February 25, 2014 12:47 AM            

There are also some other things you could do if he is the one having trouble climaxing, for example if you give him a bj first before having sex, sometimes this makes it easier or faster for them to get there, also being responsive during intercourse, even if you aren't particularly enjoying it like its the best thing ever, doing little things like kissing their neck, running your fingers along their back, etc, to get them to feel like you are there and participating and perhaps enjoying it.

And most of all sex doesn't always have to be about climax (for anyone), its perfectly fine to just have sex and enjoy it, and then stop after a certain amount of time and just cuddle or do something else. It still serves for yummy masturbation fodder later to draw upon in your imagination/memory LOL.

posted February 25, 2014 01:12 AM            

I had dated a virgo venus virgo mars guy at one point, he wasnt the most creative of lovers but he definitely enjoyed sex. despite virgos reputation, he really gave 0 f*cks about sex being a neat or clean afair (or his life/room for that matter). he did love to see me enjoy it, and even if i was bored, id crack a smile or give him a kiss anyways to encourage him.

Another thing, if you like getting massages.. I used to let him give me a back massage in exchange for a bj/hj, back massages feel so good, id imagine it would hard not to get in the mood after one LOL. I think he enjoyed getting to please me in that way as well being a virgo venus/mars, even though he wasnt always the best at giving the massages, id always be super thankful afterwards.

Another tip if he can't climax, sometimes if i wasnt in the mood id give him a HJ with lube using both of my hands, because an ordinary HJ without it is boring, and he'd really enjoy that, especially if i'd kind of twist my hands while I do it (hope this isnt too graphic).

I guess i'll just go ahead and suggest one more thing then, since you both are earth/earth and earth/earth, I think earth signs because they are very sensual in nature, it is all about the touch, feel, taste and smell of things, and texture in particular can be fun. Some things we would do to spice it up, id lay a towel on the bed and put baby oil all on his front side and on mine, so when we make love it feels frictionless and slippery hahahah, like a slip and slide.

Maybe that goes to show some of my aries/gemini nature in sex and love (3rd and 5th house respectively), I like it to be playful and adventurous. something that seems to turn me on in particular that I think is due to my aries mars is play fighting or wrestling with a guy, or playing cat and mouse, sort of cute fun physical games that would lead to inevitable intercourse when I would eventually lose to them

posted February 25, 2014 01:31 AM            

quote:

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And we're both pretty submissive.

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Ya.. that's a problem.. :\

I have Mars conjunct Neptune in Capricorn and trine Venus in Taurus. This configuration actually occurred twice.. Once in '86 and again in '88.
I have a Pisces friend born in '88 who has the same thing going on.

Personally.. I couldn't have good sex with a guy who is submissive.. I guess I could try... but I just don't see it happening.
Not sure what else to tell you.
I don't feel very compatible with Virgo Mars.. although I like Virgo Venus. Scorpio Mars is definitely the most compatible with me on a sexual level - and they are usually dominant.

posted February 25, 2014 01:36 AM            

I think he is aware of that fact, the funny thing though is that vaginally is the only way I have climaxed with him. Oral has never worked for me...meh.

I completely agree with everything you wrote. Its definately not the most important thing. But I think it becomes more important when both people are going unsatisfied for an increasing span of time. I make sure to participate and show enthusiasm etc.. I myself have never once complained about not climaxing. I basically told him very early on, its not easy for me, to not think about it or let it bother him and that I enjoy what we do together. But, you know men..lol

He doesn't seem to LOVE bjs...I put a lot of work into them and he seems to enjoy them at the time but he also tries to hold off when he gets them and afterwards wonders why I didn't want to have sex, or again upset that he didn't get the opportunity to please me.

posted February 25, 2014 01:43 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by arcturiann:
To answer the Q about mars and sex in astrology, personally my mars is in aries, i seem to enjoy sex that is quick dirty and to the point. whats funny to me is that the rest of my chart is mostly earth and water, but my venus (in gemini) and mars in aries make me come alive when i am dating, i become more playful, creative and daring. I do have a t-square with mars at the apex, but if I were to write about that it would be too long of a post. my potential inhibition or lack of inhibition during sex has a lot to do with how comfortable i am with a partner.

I had dated a virgo venus virgo mars guy at one point, he wasnt the most creative of lovers but he definitely enjoyed sex. despite virgos reputation, he really gave 0 f*cks about sex being a neat or clean afair (or his life/room for that matter). he did love to see me enjoy it, and even if i was bored, id crack a smile or give him a kiss anyways to encourage him.

Another thing, if you like getting massages.. I used to let him give me a back massage in exchange for a bj/hj, back massages feel so good, id imagine it would hard not to get in the mood after one LOL. I think he enjoyed getting to please me in that way as well being a virgo venus/mars, even though he wasnt always the best at giving the massages, id always be super thankful afterwards.

Another tip if he can't climax, sometimes if i wasnt in the mood id give him a HJ with lube using both of my hands, because an ordinary HJ without it is boring, and he'd really enjoy that, especially if i'd kind of twist my hands while I do it (hope this isnt too graphic).

I guess i'll just go ahead and suggest one more thing then, since you both are earth/earth and earth/earth, I think earth signs because they are very sensual in nature, it is all about the touch, feel, taste and smell of things, and texture in particular can be fun. Some things we would do to spice it up, id lay a towel on the bed and put baby oil all on his front side and on mine, so when we make love it feels frictionless and slippery hahahah, like a slip and slide.

Maybe that goes to show some of my aries/gemini nature in sex and love (3rd and 5th house respectively), I like it to be playful and adventurous. something that seems to turn me on in particular that I think is due to my aries mars is play fighting or wrestling with a guy, or playing cat and mouse, sort of cute fun physical games that would lead to inevitable intercourse when I would eventually lose to them

Cancer sun (6th)
Virgo moon (8th)
Capricorn asc

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posted February 25, 2014 01:54 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Odette:
Ya.. that's a problem.. :\

I have Mars conjunct Neptune in Capricorn and trine Venus in Taurus. This configuration actually occurred twice.. Once in '86 and again in '88.
I have a Pisces friend born in '88 who has the same thing going on.

Personally.. I couldn't have good sex with a guy who is submissive.. I guess I could try... but I just don't see it happening.
Not sure what else to tell you.
I don't feel very compatible with Virgo Mars.. although I like Virgo Venus. Scorpio Mars is definitely the most compatible with me on a sexual level - and they are usually dominant.

My ex had a Virgo Mars... although it was not in aspect to my Capricorn Mars. I never felt that into him on a sexual level and things fizzled out between us.
Maybe he is just not your best match.

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Awesome. How does the mars conjunct neptune affect you?

posted February 25, 2014 02:38 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by arcturiann:
Is he aware of the fact that 80 percent of women report that they don't orgasm vaginally? Perhaps he watches a lot of porn and thinks it is as easy as porn actresses make it look I have never had someone else successfully give me an orgasm, during intercourse or any other way, but that has never gotten in the way of me enjoying sex. I think if you both dont worry too much about trying to get the other person to climax and just enjoy yourselves in the moment then it will be better. Its that whole expectations thing to begin with that can ruin the experience, when really people should just enjoy themselves, its about the journey, not the destination! Lol.

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Exactly.

I can climax through intercourse but it takes work. I climax much easier through oral sex. For many women this is the case. Porn stars are often faking it!

Being "in the moment" is indeed very important.

quote:

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Originally posted by Odette:

Personally.. I couldn't have good sex with a guy who is submissive..

I don't feel very compatible with Virgo Mars.

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As usual, we agree.

I'm not as turned on by men who fear Taking Charge. Part of what arouses me is a man openly expressing his desire for me - knowing how to boldly *show* it without being over-the-top.

posted February 25, 2014 03:00 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by eyes_like_pisces:

Can anyone relate to this? Or know about earth/earth combo's? Any advice?

Do you have any advice, or kinda see where im coming from.

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Greetings!

Like you...I'm Taurus Venus, Cap Mars. Mars conjunct Neptune. Venus trine Mars. Both my Mars & Venus are also sextile Jupiter.

I definitely feel that we are highly sensual people. We're not the "wham-bam-thank-you-mam" type like Aries or Gemini Mars. But we're not necessarily delicate or mild like a Pisces or Cancer Mars either. We're COMPLEX individuals for sure!

From my perspective...we're deeply passionate people with intense desires. It's just that not everyone arouses us or brings OUT that side in us. We are choosy lovers!!! Once we have found the *right* match...they are in for some good sh*t.

As Odette mentions often, this is why Scorpio Mars is a great damn match for us! They are passionate, take-charge, deep, sensual, serious - just like us! If they don't have Scorpio Mars, Mars in the 8th works out good too!

posted February 25, 2014 03:04 AM            

I will say that it matters who the other person is. Now with a cancer Mars and Scorpio Venus.... It really "woke me up". I've never felt more passionate, sensual, or just... Alive ever before.

As for climaxing. Well, she hadn't before. At first with me either but after we became really close (she met my family) she relaxed more and now it's really no trouble at all.

posted February 25, 2014 03:52 AM            

Eyes_like_Pisces

I don't know how old you are, but maybe you should try experimenting with just yourself, maybe with your hands or a toy. Run your hands all over yourself, find the spots that you like to be touched, neck, ears, etc. Just spend the time experimenting, getting comfortable with, and getting to know your own body. If you do find out some things you like, next time take him in with you, tell him to sit and watch, saying these are some things you like, hopefully he'll twig that he should pay attention and he can reconstruct it, however his touch will usually feel better than yours because of your anticipation. You can always put your hands on his or him and guide him around as well.

Get him to do the same thing, sit and watch him, see how he likes to be touched, and learn yourself. You could even sit and watch each other at the same time.

There is no right and wrong way. Confidence is a big thing, be confident about what you want, as well as what you want to do with him, encourage the same from him. Spend time cuddling or whatever and talking about things you'd like to try, and then try it the next time the mood hits you, don't pressure yourselves to talk about something then immediately try it, give it time to sink in.

Best of luck Pisces.

posted February 25, 2014 04:24 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Swift Freeze:
There goes my low blood pressure.

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I always mix you & DeepFreeze up. Names are too similar!

Are you a Scorpio?

posted February 25, 2014 04:30 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by LovelyAries86:
I always mix you & DeepFreeze up. Names are too similar!

Are you a Scorpio?

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Yeah they are pretty similar, I'm not as Verbose on the forums as Deepfreeze was/is.

I am not a Scorpio Sun no.

posted February 25, 2014 04:58 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Swift Freeze:
Yeah they are pretty similar, I'm not as Verbose on the forums as Deepfreeze was/is.

I am not a Scorpio Sun no.

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I feel like I remember you talking about having Scorpio in your chart. Venus was it?

Maybe I'm crazy lol.

posted February 25, 2014 05:27 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by LovelyAries86:
I feel like I remember you talking about having Scorpio in your chart. Venus was it?

Maybe I'm crazy lol.

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Yes, Venus Conjunct Pluto, with some Asteroids. Must've been some time ago though, a couple years probably.

posted February 25, 2014 11:45 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by 12muddy:
I have cap venus 12th, Taurus mars 4th, my sweetie has virgo mars conj venus in the 8th. Our venuses n mars trine each other.

Have you tried talking to him ? Mine was worried about his size and timing at the beginning of our relationship, although he only admitted it after a lot of coaxing. That conversation cleared up a lot of doubts for him. After that he became relaxed and things kicked into gear.

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Well he often says that he worries about pleasing me, or making it too quick etc. I don't know where he's getting thst pressure from. Except that I know a few of his exes cheated on him and one had said he never pleased her. Im assuming just to hurt him.

posted February 25, 2014 12:07 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Swift Freeze:
Yeah they are pretty similar, I'm not as Verbose on the forums as Deepfreeze was/is.

I am not a Scorpio Sun no.

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posted February 25, 2014 12:10 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by LovelyAries86:
Greetings!

Like you...I'm Taurus Venus, Cap Mars. Mars conjunct Neptune. Venus trine Mars. Both my Mars & Venus are also sextile Jupiter.

I definitely feel that we are highly sensual people. We're not the "wham-bam-thank-you-mam" type like Aries or Gemini Mars. But we're not necessarily delicate or mild like a Pisces or Cancer Mars either. We're COMPLEX individuals for sure!

From my perspective...we're deeply passionate people with intense desires. It's just that not everyone arouses us or brings OUT that side in us. We are choosy lovers!!! Once we have found the *right* match...they are in for some good sh*t.

As Odette mentions often, this is why Scorpio Mars is a great damn match for us! They are passionate, take-charge, deep, sensual, serious - just like us! If they don't have Scorpio Mars, Mars in the 8th works out good too!

Taurus Venus wants to be pleased - to take in ALL of it's surroundings. Cap Mars wants to be the pleaser - get the job done, be the best at getting you OFF and satisfied. So it's all about finding a balance and also finding the right partner. Hope that helps!

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Hi LovelyAries!!

You definitely described the Cap mars and earth placements. Its nice to hear someone gets it

What do you think about 12th house virgo mars? He has Taurus moon in 8th if that helps...Juno too.

I dont know if I'd like a scorpio mars, scorpio venus seems like a turn off. Hypothetically it seems like pisces mars would be good for someone who has mars conjunct neptune. Which reminds me my bf does have sun conjunct pluto ...so it shouldn't be too much of a struggle to take charge.

Finding the best sexual match is kinda irrelevant for me anyways since we both plan to stay together (I mean anything can happen I suppose but we're both very committed and not anticipating any differently).

posted February 25, 2014 12:34 PM            

Eyes_like_Pisces

I don't know how old you are, but maybe you should try experimenting with just yourself, maybe with your hands or a toy. Run your hands all over yourself, find the spots that you like to be touched, neck, ears, etc. Just spend the time experimenting, getting comfortable with, and getting to know your own body. If you do find out some things you like, next time take him in with you, tell him to sit and watch, saying these are some things you like, hopefully he'll twig that he should pay attention and he can reconstruct it, however his touch will usually feel better than yours because of your anticipation. You can always put your hands on his or him and guide him around as well.

Get him to do the same thing, sit and watch him, see how he likes to be touched, and learn yourself. You could even sit and watch each other at the same time.

There is no right and wrong way. Confidence is a big thing, be confident about what you want, as well as what you want to do with him, encourage the same from him. Spend time cuddling or whatever and talking about things you'd like to try, and then try it the next time the mood hits you, don't pressure yourselves to talk about something then immediately try it, give it time to sink in.

Best of luck Pisces.

I'll be 26 soon

Ive tried lots of self experimentation. About over a year ago when orgasms were very confusing to me. I'd seek advice and responses would say you must not be having an orgasm if its not pleasurable for you. Self stimulated ones (hands, toys) doesn't matter dont really do much for me. They relieve the tension and thats about it.

Ive made a couple suggestions without any pressure and nothings been played out yet. The only suggestion hes made for me is what you've described. For him to be able to watch. I understand why it would be a good thing. But im not all that excited about it. I keep it in mind but can't seem to follow through. The problem is he just said he wants me to..when im ready. Instead of asks for it. So I never know when a good time is. It seems weird to just stop what hes doing and take over for him. And harder still because he can easily be offended...I feel like, since pleasing me is so important to him that making him watch will send the wrong message that he's not good enough.

Should I not be worried about that? When ever I talk to him about he tells me not to stress about it, and basically it goes on the backburner if we talk about it.

posted February 25, 2014 12:45 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by SunMoonStars:
Also, it would be advisable not to think about orgasm: just try to enjoy yourself/selves. It comes when and if it does, but it never will if you stress about it.

It should never be a goal, but rather a side product of something really pleasurable.

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