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Author
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Topic: Can you ever overcome venus-saturn square in synastry?
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next to neptune
Knowflake Posts: 1018
From: Mercury
Registered: Aug 2013
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posted March 11, 2014 03:27 AM
  
I think instead of just telling my boyfriend what is up, I chose that it was easier to give him the cold shoulder… what a mistake! It makes it so damn hard to be nice again, I am saturn and he is venus and we have the square by 5 degrees in synastry and the same in composite.
I think we are starting to grow cold on each other because it is simply easier than just telling what is on my mind…
Is this the point of no return with this aspect? Is it gonna be a theme from now on in our relationship?
I think we made friends again, but the next morning I found myself giving him the cold shoulder once again, and he also acted cold towards me….I hate this aspect IP: Logged |
babybull82
Knowflake Posts: 119
From:
Registered: Aug 2013
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posted March 11, 2014 03:41 AM
quote:
Originally posted by next to neptune:
I think instead of just telling my boyfriend what is up, I chose that it was easier to give him the cold shoulder… what a mistake! It makes it so damn hard to be nice again, I am saturn and he is venus and we have the square by 5 degrees in synastry and the same in composite.
I think we are starting to grow cold on each other because it is simply easier than just telling what is on my mind…
Is this the point of no return with this aspect? Is it gonna be a theme from now on in our relationship?
I think we made friends again, but the next morning I found myself giving him the cold shoulder once again, and he also acted cold towards me….I hate this aspect
What happened to free will? If you have too, fight it if only to save your relationship..trust me I know how hard it is to fight those energies...I think that's probably why me and my ex broke up..I was giving him the cold shoulder as well..but I took it a bit too far and now we are no more...Sun opposite saturn @ 6 degrees in synastry and Sun square saturn in the composite...do it before it's too late. IP: Logged |
next to neptune
Knowflake Posts: 1018
From: Mercury
Registered: Aug 2013
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posted March 11, 2014 03:59 AM
quote:
Originally posted by babybull82:
What happened to free will? If you have too, fight it if only to save your relationship..trust me I know how hard it is to fight those energies...I think that's probably why me and my ex broke up..I was giving him the cold shoulder as well..but I took it a bit too far and now we are no more...Sun opposite saturn @ 6 degrees in synastry and Sun square saturn in the composite...do it before it's too late.
Yes people say that to me as well, but I'm just a bit frustrated with him and some things he do… but I don't wan't to bring it up before I'm sure.
And we have so much saturn in our synastry, it's maybe a bit too much. My saturn square his sun, and his saturn trine my sun, so its sun-saturn dw! Also my mercury square his saturn, and we have saturn opposite ascendant double whammy as well…. so jesus christ, it's not gonna be easy to loosen up, if we first started this cold war game  IP: Logged |
Comatoes
Newflake Posts: 9
From:
Registered: Jan 2014
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posted March 11, 2014 06:59 AM
So basically both of you feel like you are reporting to some parent to be reprimanded? Saturn aspects can do that, turn the relationship cold, emotional lock-down, and "parent-like". But if there is a lot of positive Moon, Venus, Mercury, Jupiter love aspects, this can work out. Moon/Jupiter, Moon/Moon, Moon/Ascendant, Venus/Sun etc. in synastry can indicate a relationship where both parties want to take care of each other without hurting each other and it creates connections and warmth. Cold shoulder means rejection and pain, it means somehow you two don't feel comfortable with each other, if you don't feel comfortable and protected in a relationship, well you decide... I hope it works out, maybe it's a transit thing? IP: Logged |
next to neptune
Knowflake Posts: 1018
From: Mercury
Registered: Aug 2013
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posted March 11, 2014 11:15 AM
quote:
Originally posted by Comatoes:
So basically both of you feel like you are reporting to some parent to be reprimanded? Saturn aspects can do that, turn the relationship cold, emotional lock-down, and "parent-like". But if there is a lot of positive Moon, Venus, Mercury, Jupiter love aspects, this can work out. Moon/Jupiter, Moon/Moon, Moon/Ascendant, Venus/Sun etc. in synastry can indicate a relationship where both parties want to take care of each other without hurting each other and it creates connections and warmth. Cold shoulder means rejection and pain, it means somehow you two don't feel comfortable with each other, if you don't feel comfortable and protected in a relationship, well you decide... I hope it works out, maybe it's a transit thing?
hmm we actually have all those aspect you listed… we have moon trine jupiter in the composite, we both have pisces moon (its a wide conjunction though) a very tight moon trine ascendant, moon opposition venus also very tight, sun-mercury conjunction double whammy and sun conjunction venus…. I think I should just take my self seriously together and stop giving him the cold shoulder IP: Logged |
Doux Rêve
Moderator Posts: 7730
From:
Registered: Dec 2010
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posted March 11, 2014 11:22 AM
Saturn does that.Personally I've never seen it play out positively on the long-run.
The energy ends up becoming very stifling, limiting, cold and basically unbearable, unless you're an emotional masochist and enjoy feeling oppressed in some way. I wish I could say something like 'there's always free will' but looks like I don't really believe in that anymore. Wait for a while before making a decision.
Try to work things out... We never know. Good luck, next to neptune! IP: Logged |
Gabby
Knowflake Posts: 3032
From:
Registered: Sep 2012
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posted March 11, 2014 11:51 AM
If Saturn is the glue in a relationship, there such a thing as to much glue!
If your trying to use glue and get to much, it goes everywhere, you have a big mess that you need clean, it's hurting more than it is helping.Saturn is the same way...too much Saturn becomes an issue of holding the relationship together with such a tight grip that your making a mess of it!
The issues of who has and who wants control become the theme of the relationship and love takes a back seat. You have the choice to chose love, you can say...I prefer to feel love and to love this person more than I want things to be my way...I want love not control of everything!
I chose to give them control so that we don't spin out of control and I'm left alone and lose my love completely!
It's your choice and i think you need to sit down with them and explain what's going on with Saturn in your relationship and ask them for help....ask them if you both can talk about the struggle you have.
Call the issues you have, "Saturn issues" as you see them happening and try to laugh about them, "Oh there's Saturn again" at the moment you see them everyday. As you see the issues arise talk about them, try to laugh and understand it's not that either if you are wrong or right, your just different.
Talk about them and then find ways to compromise, take turns with who gets it there way or have fun coming up with creative compromises. Giving in can be fun and bond you together more than the Cold War of total domination and control of each other. Work together instead of against each other!
If you don't the relationships love will die, I'm sorry there is no other way to put it, and with all the Saturn you have you will probably stay together but hate each other! IP: Logged |
next to neptune
Knowflake Posts: 1018
From: Mercury
Registered: Aug 2013
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posted March 11, 2014 12:08 PM
quote:
Originally posted by Doux Rêve:
Saturn does that.Personally I've never seen it play out positively on the long-run.
The energy ends up becoming very stifling, limiting, cold and basically unbearable, unless you're an emotional masochist and enjoy feeling oppressed in some way. I wish I could say something like 'there's always free will' but looks like I don't really believe in that anymore. Wait for a while before making a decision.
Try to work things out... We never know. Good luck, next to neptune!
god damnit nook don't say that… it's not the strongest aspect in our chart at all, it's 5'40 degrees… :'( IP: Logged |
Gabby
Knowflake Posts: 3032
From:
Registered: Sep 2012
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posted March 11, 2014 12:11 PM
Refocus your Saturn to want to find ways to compromise and be responsible by learning to cater to each other...that is a responsibility of anyone in any relationship!
Saturn is immature when it thinks control is the only way to get things done, Saturn has matured when it sees sometimes taking control and being responsible is best served by letting go and allowing others to have their way to!IP: Logged |
next to neptune
Knowflake Posts: 1018
From: Mercury
Registered: Aug 2013
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posted March 11, 2014 12:20 PM
I've searched a lot on the internet Doux, as this matters a lot to me lol… but I see examples everywhere of people with the saturn/venus square who has been in long relationships … but you don't know any?I just hope we are one of those rare coincidences of couples who stay together IP: Logged |
Gabby
Knowflake Posts: 3032
From:
Registered: Sep 2012
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posted March 11, 2014 02:26 PM
It doesn't have to end the relationship, squares require a different or unique approach in order to over come them. They require thought, perseverance and patience.
Squares in any chart are a mind over matter issue...you must think before you act instead of just being reactive to the situation.
A square means your knee jerk reaction is creating stress and frustration, so you can't allow yourself to have that knee jerk reaction, another words you can't be reactive..you must become proactive by having a plan of action regarding what to do in any situation when the stress of the square will arise so you don't react to it thoughtlessly because your prepared for it.
As you feel the stress coming up, stop, recognize what's happening, it's Saturn trying to dominate you or your partner and that's why your feeling the stress.
Allow yourself to relax because you realize you don't need to feel stressed......you have a solution and a way to handle what your feeling that will bring peace not a battle in your relationship.
Then act on what you planned to do whenever you felt saturns tug to start to try to control.
It's not easy at first but eventually when you see the results you will be proud of yourself and Saturn will stop being so driven to control because it's found a more positive way to focus it's energy.IP: Logged |
babybull82
Knowflake Posts: 119
From:
Registered: Aug 2013
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posted March 11, 2014 06:50 PM
No it doesn't have to end, but would you rather be in a relationship where you feel happy and comfortable or miserable--but hey it's ok because the relationship will last forever? I know it's hard letting go..but sometimes you just kinda have to. Not saying that's your sitch OP, but just in general. IP: Logged |
twinky
Knowflake Posts: 30
From:
Registered: Aug 2013
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posted March 12, 2014 05:25 AM
This is very interesting. I have the same problem in a synastry. His Saturn (ruler of 7th) semisquares my Sun and squares my Venus (our most exact synastry aspect!)
While my Saturn, trines his Sun and Venus, and sextiles his Moon (very close aspects).This relationship never actually took off. He felt stiffled, as if there were to many obligations and expectations - not true. How does our Saturn sq. Venus manifest:
He feels like there are many things expected from him, he feels as if he can't give me what I want and can't make me happy and he backs off.
I feel rejected. That he doesn't accept my love and I distance myself. It seems like we go in circles..
IP: Logged | |
Lindaland
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