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Author Topic:   What is it about love?
Marandana
Knowflake

Posts: 32
From: Mex
Registered: Dec 2013

posted March 20, 2014 12:10 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Marandana     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
What is it about love?
I don't get it, I spent the whole day trying to figure it out. I hope you can join me with some thoughts. Let me tell you how I got to this.
I met a handsome man back in august, he caught my eye since the first time I saw him and at first I was a bit skeptical about him, I mean I was attracted but like, not really sure about it. He was my college professor, a bit older than me, (cause I'm actually a bit older to just start college) Anyway, He's young and after some time, I learned he was dating another student. That made me a bit sad for a while.
Besides some nevervous and curious eye-contact, our relationship was teacher-student only. But since that day, the day I met him there's no day I can't go on without thinking about him, he's been on my mind almost 24/7 and seriously I can't handle this situation anymore is like hauting me, I feel like he's everything I asked for in a man, and like the astrology fan than I am, I tried many months to know his day of bith and hour and I didn't get it, until 2 weeks ago (still I don't have his time of birth, though) but at least I have a small detail of our synastry, but more I wanted to know what did he have that I felt I wouldn't never find it again in any man. He's so unique for me. I have never felt like this BIG love for someone, it's so rare. I was so shocked when I got our synastry, it SUCKS! it has lot of squares, opps and saturn. The softer aspect it had was venus-neptune so... this lead me to think that still... synastry and sometimes astrology don't always keep up with real life. That there is still something bigger than just "venus mars" or whatever attraction or love in astrology means, and that "love" is still something so powerful that we can't even locked it those astrological parameters. and It confuse me, because then... what was the reason why he appeared in my life? As the 3rd house stellium that I am, I always want to have a logical or intelectual meaning to everything.
But what are your thoughts about this stronger force called love? Do you think that sometimes synastry or the cosmos doens't always have the right answer?

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Gabby
Moderator

Posts: 3169
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Registered: Sep 2012

posted March 20, 2014 12:21 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Gabby     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Do you have any Chiron aspects?
Sometimes I've found when I find myself feeling something for someone, whom I actually have very little contact with or don't know at all but yet I'm hurting regarding them.....it's because they touched my Chiron.
They have touched a place of deep pain and that's all that was needed to open that wound and it feels like only their love will heal it.
That's of course not the case, they have opened you up to yourself and all the answers are inside you, not them.

Chiron is tender place that hurts if we ignore it, and if someone else has touched that place in us and then they ignore us....it feels like our hearts cannot hurt anymore than they do because of the person not being there.

Chiron is just one of a couple places to look for the kind of attraction your talking about.....check first to see if he makes any personal aspects to your Chiron.

You might also look at your 9th house...does your Chiron or his Chiron or personal planets aspect anything that is in your 9th house or it's ruler?

Chiron is something only can heal, others can you open you up to it...but only your strength and courage can turn your pain into a teacher to help others.
Sometimes it good to have someone who helps you contact this point, if your natal chart doesn't aspect it in a way that allows you opportunity to heal...but normally it just hurts!
At least until you begin to heal n then it's more of a learning experience than being strictly all about pain.

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Marandana
Knowflake

Posts: 32
From: Mex
Registered: Dec 2013

posted March 20, 2014 01:05 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Marandana     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Gabby:

They have touched a place of deep pain and that's all that was needed to open that wound and it feels like only their love will heal it.

Yeah, it kinda feels like it.

I wonder how one part can feel a lot and the other nothing, I'm getting melancholic here.

I was also wondering if that "venus-neptune conjuction" we have could be the factor of all this "soulmate" kind of feeling.

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Marandana
Knowflake

Posts: 32
From: Mex
Registered: Dec 2013

posted March 20, 2014 01:16 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Marandana     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Here it is my chart, I'm the inside, he's the outside.

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Gabby
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Registered: Sep 2012

posted March 20, 2014 08:17 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Gabby     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I can't see very well but it looks like your Neptune or it might be Uranus touches his Venus.
If it's Neptune to his Venus, that can give illusions of love without their being any real love...Neptune in synastry is hard it can make you go crazy n think your in love until your blindsided by reality!
It does appear his moon and Venus make a t-square with your Chiron but I'm not sure how tight the aspects are....I think that would be hard on you because you would sense he held answers to help you heal, your going to be drawn to him for the Venus opposition, you sense his love would support and help heal you and then the outlet for the opposition would be his moon...or his emotions and validation, but he doesn't feel it!
He isn't going to feel it like you do, Chiron is a place of your deep pain, not his.
He might feel your intensity, and sense your pain, but as most men do, he probably is more likely to run from emotions or anything that feels heavy.
If he had something else drawing him to you through your pain, like his Karma sitting on your Chiron he would be more willing to open up to whatever energy is being felt between you...but without something making him feel it's his responsibility to go to you, he probably will avoid the situation.
I'm sorry!
But after looking at synastry you know it won't be hard to find someone better for you.
If you can't get him off your mind perhaps you ask yourself what is it in him that makes you want to bond to him?
Whatever it is that's drawing you to him is something you feel is lacking in yourself alone so you want to get it from him so you feel better about yourself...identify what that is and then work on giving it to yourself!

Example....if you want to feel supported and accepted at school about are not finding that support perhaps you see him as a strong foundation that would allow you to believe n feel you are supported.
Reality is you don't need anyone else to feel supported, grounded or a part of the school...you already are you just need to believe that and then work on identifying these places and building on them to make them stronger. Like if your a science major, and have some friends that are in a class with you suggest together to start a study group for kids who are struggling.

I'm just giving examples..,but I hope that helps in some way! Wish I had something more profound to tell you, but that's all I've got! Sorry

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Marandana
Knowflake

Posts: 32
From: Mex
Registered: Dec 2013

posted March 20, 2014 11:21 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Marandana     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
That's true gabby, you're right.
And yes, that's a venus-neptune conjuction and I blame that aspect for all this "love" I feel, it has been really confusing lately, but after what you say about it I finally can see it in a different perspective, a "down to earth" perspective to be honest.
Yes, the synastry really opened my eyes to show me that we couldn't work it out really well, sadly.

I think this is the first time I experience a strong chiron aspect in my love life. It hurts, but I think "hurting" is a real chiron trait.

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Swift Freeze
Knowflake

Posts: 557
From: One World
Registered: Nov 2009

posted March 21, 2014 05:17 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Swift Freeze     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Do you know anything about him?

Does he have any family or kids?
Does he live in a house or rent?
Does he drink alcohol excessively?
Does he smoke?
What does he enjoy doing in his spare time?
Does he have any religious beliefs?
Does he have any political beliefs?
Does he have good compatible ethics and morals similar to you?
Does he handle money similarly to you?
Does he have good relationships with his friends, family and any partners?

Obviously I only know what you've mentioned, which is, "Handsome man... ...I feel like he's everything I asked for in a man."

To me it seems that you don't really know anything about him. Okay, he is a professor so one would hope he may enjoy helping people learn or have an inquiring mind.

You haven't really said what it is that you find so attractive about him.

As for why he appeared in your life, you went to college to study, he went to college to teach. He ended up teaching a subject you are learning about. Happily ever after.

The End

------------------
Learn lots. Don't judge. Laugh for no reason. Be nice. Seek Happiness. Follow your dreams.

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LeeLoo2014
Knowflake

Posts: 196
From:
Registered: Mar 2014

posted March 21, 2014 06:07 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for LeeLoo2014     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I don't want to encourage you to have a crush, to start on the road of an unrequited love or to fantasize about a man you actually don't know.

I agree with Swift Freeze, we should only talk about love and think about love with a person we already know very well, who is at least a friend, with whom we already have a relationship. Especially since you are a 3rd house person.

But, astrologically speaking (if the birth times are correct), this is not an insignificant synastry. Your nodes, vertex, ascendants are aspected etc. The feeling you describe is probably due to your Uranus/Neptune conjunct his Venus: love at first sight from your part and idealization of that person. With Neptune, it might be meeting a real ideal, or an illusion. His Mars also falls on your IC, he touches your deep core, your soul, with the type of man he is.

But most of all, it's a 12th house synastry. Your Sun conjuncts his ASC. Your Sun and Mercury fall in his 12th house. His Saturn Pluto conjunction falls in your 12th house, near your ASC. 12th house synastries are karmic, especially with Pluto and Saturn falling in the 12th. He might bring a transformation into your life, whether or not you will be together, he might help you uncover hidden things about yourself. It's your choice to use this for better or for worse.

Try to make a research on Lindaland about 12th house in synastry, especially about Pluto there.

Here is an interesting excerpt about Saturn falling in partner's 12th house:

If your mate affects your twelfth house by transposition, and you want to avoid the preceeding scenario, be willing to question yourself. All of us are playing a role in the world: our personalities, our outer selves. Do actores worry about what will happen to their wardrobes, or to the stage setting when it's struck at the end of a play? They know that they are the creators; they are what is real, while the play and it's characters is a creation that comes and goes, interesting while it lasts and worth acting well, but not what is truly most important. Learn to identify yourself with your iner being, your higher self, and then your character's costumes and props and speeches, although necessary to function in the world, will become less important. You will feel more free -- and that sense of engaged detatchment from life, and the buoyancy that accompanies it, are the gifts pressed into your hands by a partner who stimulates your 12th house.

If you activate your lover's 12th house, remember: you are not his or her guru. Your presence in your mate's life can facilitate confrontation with that level of reality, but you are not there to force that growth to happen according to any scripts of yours. Your effect on your mate's life is to lessen his or her exclusive idendification with his or her outer personality. That influence can frighten your partner, and with good reason. We all need to have an outer self that functions effectively in the world; complete lack of one spells insanity. Dont try to strip your partner of his or her personality.
***********************************************************

( I dont like how in this book he always says, "When the MAN's planet falls in the females house.....so and so.")
anyway,

When the man's Saturn falls in the 12th house of his female partner's horoscpe there may be some difficulties in the relationship. He may expect her to be reliable and self-sufficient in the very areas where she is likely to be most vulnerable. In consequence, she may not feel particularly at ease in his presence and he may occasionally bring one of her weaknesses to light in a disconcerting way, arousing her resentment and his doubts about her ability to act consistently or wisely. As a result, he may be instrumental in making her more aware of those areas of her psyche where she is most vulnerable, thus giving her an incentive to eradicate such shortcomings.

When other cross-aspects are favorable, he may work behind the scenes to strenghen her position but if Saturn is afflicted at birth and the cross-aspects to it are discordant, he may work against her in secret to undermine her position and frustrate her plans.

In some cases she may be placed in a position where she has to shelter him or generally render him aid or assistance; he may make testing demands upon her sympathetic and charitable instincts.

Wherever the native's Saturn falls in another's horoscope indicates that area where he may be able to teach the other a valuable lesson in life, making him more aware of where his obligations lie, helping him to develop a greater sense of responsibility and self reliance and generally deepening his understanding .
http://www.linda-goodman.com/ubb/Forum10/HTML/002472.html

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LeeLoo2014
Knowflake

Posts: 196
From:
Registered: Mar 2014

posted March 21, 2014 06:12 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for LeeLoo2014     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Gabby:
Do you have any Chiron aspects?
Sometimes I've found when I find myself feeling something for someone, whom I actually have very little contact with or don't know at all but yet I'm hurting regarding them.....it's because they touched my Chiron.
They have touched a place of deep pain and that's all that was needed to open that wound and it feels like only their love will heal it.
That's of course not the case, they have opened you up to yourself and all the answers are inside you, not them.

Chiron is tender place that hurts if we ignore it, and if someone else has touched that place in us and then they ignore us....it feels like our hearts cannot hurt anymore than they do because of the person not being there.

Chiron is just one of a couple places to look for the kind of attraction your talking about.....check first to see if he makes any personal aspects to your Chiron.

You might also look at your 9th house...does your Chiron or his Chiron or personal planets aspect anything that is in your 9th house or it's ruler?

Chiron is something only can heal, others can you open you up to it...but only your strength and courage can turn your pain into a teacher to help others.
Sometimes it good to have someone who helps you contact this point, if your natal chart doesn't aspect it in a way that allows you opportunity to heal...but normally it just hurts!
At least until you begin to heal n then it's more of a learning experience than being strictly all about pain.


Gabby, this is very interesting, thank you for this.
Do you think that if there are many Chiron aspects in synastry, especially involving Venus, the person who opens the wound will also be the healer? I assume when the healer arrives, he will first open that wound.

Why did you say about the 9th house? Could you please explain more?

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LeeLoo2014
Knowflake

Posts: 196
From:
Registered: Mar 2014

posted March 21, 2014 06:22 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for LeeLoo2014     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Sorry, now I've reread your OP and saw you don't know his ASC. Nevertheless, it's not an insignificant synastry, so you should check those Chiron and Saturn/Pluto aspects.

Some people just pass through our life to teach us a lesson. You never know, at least in the beginning, if it's about love or growth.

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Marandana
Knowflake

Posts: 32
From: Mex
Registered: Dec 2013

posted March 21, 2014 10:06 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Marandana     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Thank you all for your wise answers!

Yes, I'm checking those saturn/pluto aspects, the thing is we have a lot of saturn with a lot of squares. (mercury-saturn. Venus-saturn. Moon-saturn. All of these, squares!) we also have a pluto square mars, which to me that's a bit terryfing cause it sounds like an explosive, probably not in a good way energy.
Yes, and about what you say lee, I learned a lot about him, I mean, not actually in the subject he teaches at the university, but in a personal way. It is a long long story, a little bit longer than what I wrote in my first post, but as the good Scorpio rising than I am, I actually struggle a lot to open up and tell details of my life. But if you want I can tell a little more haha
And swift, I actually know him, I can answer to all the questions you asked, I wouldn't fall in love with just his presence, that wouldn't be love just attraction. He doesn't have kids and is not married, I wouldn't be that interested in a married man.

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