Posts: 33
From:
Registered: Jan 2013

posted March 20, 2014 12:38 AM            

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Taurus is one of the signs that are very good parents, I know many tauruses that are like role models of parenthood. Their children adore them. So, yesterday I met my boyfriends son and it was as expected. He is a very sweet little boy with a lively imagination and he adores his father. We had a nice walk in the park and then some dinner before they drove me home. He seemed a little nervous, but not overly and when we walked holding me on one hand and the boy on the other, he seemed to enjoy it.
We started dating 3 months ago and we had talked about me meeting his son. Now that his ex went out of town for a week and the boy is at his house we had to do it if we wanted to see each other in the mean time. Although we had talked about it, he seemed very hesitant about it and postponed it for 3 days from initial day. All seemed good with our relationship, but now I am confused and do not know where we stand. He has brought me lots of flowers and some presents during those 3 months. He made me feel secure by talking about future events etc. I understood from their conversation that the boys mother will be back in town on Saturday. I miss him so much and would like to be just the two of us as soon as possible. So, I expected the same from him, but he told me to meet up on Sunday. Now I am starting to lose confidence in him and questioning our relationship status.
So, what do you think? Has the meeting with the child make him afraid of the realationship going too serious or what might be the problem?

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Posts: 200
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Registered: Feb 2013

posted March 20, 2014 02:02 AM            

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I think he's spending quality time with his son alone while he has him. Also parenting is a full time job. Trying to juggle you in the middle of it is even harder to do.

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From: Mercury
Registered: Dec 2012

posted March 20, 2014 02:11 AM            

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honestly that child will always be his first priority, so while your feelings understandable maybe try to be understanding yourself on his situation.

I'd say cautiously take more in interest in his daily life since he isn't just living bachelor lifestyle any more and he's not going to push this on to you.

Perhaps if you're not ready to be somewhat involved in his child's life it would be hard to even have a relationship with him..

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Posts: 301
From: Titan
Registered: Jun 2013

posted March 20, 2014 02:13 AM            

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Taureans are great parents (both my parents are one), but can be very inflexible when it comes to change, they seem to be creatures of habit and to get them to try new things can take a lot of convincing or you might have to prove to them that it will work rather than try to convince them with words or ideas sometimes.

He might be a little bit hesitant or unsure of how a life with you + his son might be, my advice for the both of you (if he is comfortable with it and has the opportunity) to spend more time with his son together on different occasions, because trying to imagine something like involving you in his life AND with his child can seem disorienting and confusing unless it just happens enough time that it begins to seem natural or more normal, especially since first introductions with children can be awkward. You'd just need more time for it to become natural and he will feel more comfortable with the idea. But also give him plenty of space when he needs it because like Mango said, its a lot to juggle and Taureans like to have their comforts and ease in life, and juggling too many things at once can give them anxiety.

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From: Pluto with DeepFreeze
Registered: Jul 2013

posted March 20, 2014 02:17 AM            

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My mother's a Taurus with Scorpio moon and she's the devil. I've met Taurus men who were the biggest dead beats of the planet. Any man can be a dad, but it takes a real man to be a father and a good one at that. Maybe he is just hesitant for his son's sake? Maybe he's nervous that his ex isn't okay with it? I definitely wouldn't rush it, let him decide what he wants. 3 months is still only 3 months, not years.

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Posts: 301
From: Titan
Registered: Jun 2013

posted March 20, 2014 02:27 AM            

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quote:

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Originally posted by Barbiegirl19:
My mother's a Taurus with Scorpio moon and she's the devil.

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LOL. My bro has this combination and he is definitely one scary mf'er. Natal sun-moon oppositions can result in all sorts of cognitive dissonance in people.

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From: Pluto with DeepFreeze
Registered: Jul 2013

posted March 20, 2014 02:29 AM            

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quote:

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Originally posted by arcturiann:
LOL. My bro has this combination and he is definitely one scary mf'er. Natal sun-moon oppositions can result in all sorts of cognitive dissonance in people.

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Just horrible. She's mean just to be mean. Her and I never get along unless I ignore her ignorant and plain rude passes. Let her think she's won LOL

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Posts: 301
From: Titan
Registered: Jun 2013

posted March 20, 2014 03:00 AM            

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Mean just to be mean sounds about right... I thought my bro would have gotten rid of those tendencies as he got older but he still does annoying **** like mimick me or make stupid jokes in the middle of me talking when im trying to talk about something important rofl

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Posts: 3248
From: Pluto with DeepFreeze
Registered: Jul 2013

posted March 20, 2014 03:02 AM            

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Scorpio moon isn't for everyone lol that's for sure. Especially for signs like Taurus and Gemini who can't handle it.

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Posts: 33
From:
Registered: Jan 2013

posted March 20, 2014 11:54 AM            

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I understand that the change can be confusing and scary for him. But for me it looks like he does not want me in their life and this hurts. At the moment he makes no effort to have me in his/their life. And this does not explain, why he is not meeting me on Saturday, when the boy goes back to the mother. Instead, he will come on Sunday. I did not want to ask him, what are his plans for Saturday. He can do whatever he wants, but it hurts that it is not to be with me.

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Posts: 1256
From: Pluto with Barbiegirl19
Registered: Nov 2013

posted March 20, 2014 12:06 PM            

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The Scorpio moon I knew was not mean at all. They just had emotional issues. (cancer sun)

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Posts: 3165
From:
Registered: Sep 2012

posted March 20, 2014 12:20 PM            

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I wouldn't over think it, it is emotionally stressful to let your kids meet someone new, no matter how much you like the person it's such a serious step, he might be wanting to spend time with his child in order to make sure the child is ok.
Kids have questions after things like that, emotionally draining questions...like who is that, why were you holding her hand, do I have to like them, is mommy going to be mad, do you still love momma?
He is probably an emotional wreck right now trying to make this a smooth transition.
It's hard because from your perspective you've just met this great lil kid and you feel closer to your guy at the same time allowing him to meet you has opened your guy up to a whole new can of worms!
Mom is probably not going to be happy, he will probably be getting a lot of stress over this...give him space right now!

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From: Pluto with Barbiegirl19
Registered: Nov 2013

posted March 20, 2014 12:23 PM            

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To be on topic I do completely agree with Gabby.

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Posts: 33
From:
Registered: Jan 2013

posted March 20, 2014 12:33 PM            

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Thanks a lot Gabby, your answer is making me understand him better. And I will give him space. I am a leo and attention is like air for us. So, it is going to be hard.

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From:
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posted March 20, 2014 12:48 PM            

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Originally posted by leowoman2:

Thanks a lot Gabby, your answer is making me understand him better. And I will give him space. I am a leo and attention is like air for us. So, it is going to be hard.

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I know you respect him and when you try to understand what his going through you will win so many brownie points!! It's possible everyone who loves his child is now grilling him about you! That means grand parents on both sides, uncles, aunts...some maybe telling him being irresponsible because they are not ready for him to move on....it's hard for extended family sometimes accept the changes and they will use the child's emotional state as the reason they think they have the right to grill him.
Give him space, let him come to you. He could be having ppl drag up all the old wounds, but give it time. It's just an adjustment that takes time and patience. If he didn't like you, you wouldn't have met his child!!
The fact that he put it off a few days only shows how seriously he is taking this, he knew he was going get hit hard as soon as he took this step...he prolonged it out if fear n stress of it all but in the end, you were more important. Hold onto that during this time and let him get everyone settled down!

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From:
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posted March 20, 2014 12:51 PM            

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Dp

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Posts: 33
From:
Registered: Jan 2013

posted March 20, 2014 01:30 PM            

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I did not even think of the extended family. What you are saying explains a lot ... why he has been a little distant for past 1-2 weeks, probably he has been dragging this meeting in his head etc. I care about him so much and hope that all works out. Btw, I hate that I am a self-centred leo.

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From:
Registered: Sep 2012

posted March 20, 2014 02:00 PM            

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quote:

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Originally posted by leowoman2:

I did not even think of the extended family. What you are saying explains a lot ... why he has been a little distant for past 1-2 weeks, probably he has been dragging this meeting in his head etc. I care about him so much and hope that all works out. Btw, I hate that I am a self-centred leo.

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Awe, no your not, if you were selfish you wouldn't care what he's going through!!
You do care and that shows your big heart, it's normal for something like this to cause stress n anxiety in you. My kids are older and I still stress over introducing them to new ppl.
I put it off as long as possible and I dont even have anyone to answer to anymore! Lol
It's just hard because if it doesn't work out and your child gets attached it's their heart that gets broken to, and that hurts almost more than your own heart getting broken.

My youngest son is 9, I have not introduced him to anyone for 3 years because the last guy I did let him meet he got so attached to, still today he asks if we can go say hi to him and looks to see if he at his office every time we drive by it, which is often because it's right down the road from my home.
So please don't take any of this that he's going through personally...I know it's got to be hard to understand unless you have been through it. Your really being so sweet about this and doing a great job!
Try so hard not to lose heart because it's stressful and get mad or take it out on him, unless it's obvious there is a real good reason.
This is such a sensitive area, hang in there, it'll get better!

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posted March 20, 2014 02:02 PM            

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quote:

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Originally posted by DeepFreeze:
To be on topic I do completely agree with Gabby.

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Ty

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Posts: 33
From:
Registered: Jan 2013

posted March 20, 2014 02:38 PM            

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Gabby, my hugs to you and your son!

The boy was so sweet, very smart and fun imagination, I would certainly not want to cause him any pain. And you were absolutely right about me getting now more attached to my guy.
I am not sure, how I should act when we meet on sunday. I do not want to be too clingy nor distant. What is appropriate to ask from him about the situation without him feeling pressured?

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From:
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posted March 20, 2014 03:55 PM            

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quote:

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Originally posted by leowoman2:

Gabby, my hugs to you and your son!

The boy was so sweet, very smart and fun imagination, I would certainly not want to cause him any pain. And you were absolutely right about me getting now more attached to my guy.
I am not sure, how I should act when we meet on sunday. I do not want to be too clingy nor distant. What is appropriate to ask from him about the situation without him feeling pressured?

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Be very casual, give him a hug ask how he's doing, tell him how sweet you thought his lil boy was. You can ask if he was ok meeting you. Let him tell you what he's comfortable with telling you. If he says nothing about the ex or anything else start talking about something unrelated staying very sweet and positive. If doesn't share anything or seems moody don't let it get to you by getting pouty or insulted he didn't share more, not that you would.
He might just need a chance to decompress and then he will open up. If not, wait a day or so and tell him you were worried and wondering and hoping that his son liked you...did he??
Let him answer, then ask if was his mom upset or the family that his son met you?
If he says it's all good...dont ask anything else. It could mean it all went well or it could mean it was bad and he's had enough of thinking about it or talking about it and just wants to chill.
If you pressure him he could get angry and feel like you don't really care and lump you in with all the others that are pressuring him.
It could have went great and there's nothing at all to tell. Just let it go and go back to just having fun together. Forget about it all temporarily, and let it unfold, you will know soon enough how it's all playing out.
Be casual, don't ask anything more than once....it's very personal and tender for him. If everyone else is putting pressure on him, he needs you to be his stress relief not more pressure.
In the end doing this will help him see you have his best interest at heart and he can trust you, next time he will be more likely to open up when he is stressed.
Hopefully, it's nothing at all n it all went perfectly!!

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