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Author
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Topic: Saturn-Venus and feeling repulsive
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NeptunianSag
Knowflake Posts: 624
From: Your imagination
Registered: Aug 2013
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posted March 21, 2014 02:21 PM
  
Is there anyway I can get over the insecurity of feeling ugly with this aspect? No matter what I do to improve my appearance there's always this nagging voice in my brain saying, your not good enough for society, not attractive enough, not nice enough. (Saturn and Venus in 4th) I guess my Venus trine Jupiter makes it abit easier, but even my insecurity still manages to get through. It's just hard to relax, I'm not looking for perfection, but just to feel average and accepted by others. It doesn't help, I have Virgo moon in 11th inconjunct Saturn, so it's like I need to feel attractive in order to be around groups of people to fulfill my emotional needs. It hurts when it feels like you get rejected just because the way you look... Or maybe it's imagined, but either way it hurts so so much, people without this aspect are so lucky to just express yourselves without fear or judgement. I'm a lira asc, so beauty and harmony and a good time is important to me, but I can't seem to fulfill my libra needs. It's like I'm cursed, I must of been a vain biatch in my past life and now I must pay the consequences. Has anyone "overcome" these horrible feelings? Self expression to the things I love always comes with fear. IP: Logged |
arcturiann
Knowflake Posts: 319
From: Titan
Registered: Jun 2013
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posted March 21, 2014 02:41 PM
I definitely understand these feelings, I think it comes from virgo moon, saturn in the 1st/cap rising for me. I always envied people who seem to just have a natural ease of confidence and expression in them. I notice one thing that has helped me... and that is being in public places rather than being home alone. I notice its usually when I am at home alone that i pick at my flaws usually because i'm bored, because I want to "improve" myself and my mind thinks its somehow productive to be an ******* to myself like that. I also learned to let go of the pain of what others are thinking/feeling, and realizing I don't have to react to it and it doesn't have anything to do with me, just to be confident in yourself and that will be enough. The more you care about what other people think, the more it will get to you, and the more people will sense your weakness and vulnerability and act on it. Also practicing accepting others for their flaws helps in accepting your own. If you are the type of person to only want "attractive" friends or are disgusted by people you don't think are perfect, then that is how you will treat yourself. IP: Logged |
arcturiann
Knowflake Posts: 319
From: Titan
Registered: Jun 2013
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posted March 21, 2014 02:47 PM
If you could imagine that other people could sense your own thoughts about yourself and act on them, what do you think would happen when you go around with the mental attitude that you are ugly and insecure? People start to treat you like you are ugly and insecure. The best thing is to force yourself, mentally to give up these thoughts, at least around others. You don't have to think you are the greatest thing in the world or be extremely cocky, but practice giving yourself affirmative and positive praise and forgiving yourself for not being perfect. If you can at least pretend to think of yourself as confident and assertive, people will begin to sense this about you, and it will reflect in how they treat you.Also a neuroscience tip, practicing "power poses" can help increase your confidence, pay attention to your body language which can trick your mind and signal others into thinking you are weak and vulnerable (like a dog with tail between legs)
http://www.ted.com/talks/amy_cuddy_your_body_language_shapes_who_you_are IP: Logged |
aquaguy91
Moderator Posts: 8817
From: tennessee
Registered: Jan 2012
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posted March 21, 2014 03:00 PM
You just have to accept that you arent perfect.. My dad always says sometimes you are gonna be"too skinny,too fat, too short,or too tall" . This means you aren't gonna please everyone and shouldn't try. You have to know who you are and be yourself.IP: Logged |
anonymidarkness
Knowflake Posts: 4855
From:
Registered: Aug 2012
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posted March 21, 2014 03:06 PM
IP: Logged | |
Lindaland
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