posted April 15, 2014 01:54 AM            

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Originally posted by venuscorpio86:
He has Venus in cancer...I read they were critical of ppl they care about but it still really bad of him to say, because he the one who said he likes tall girls thicker woman would tell me that so I can't believe he would cut me down behind my back about my weight or maybe I'm being over sensativw? He is the one who is small he's short but I'm not gonna point out that

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I never thought Cancers were critical. Oh well. If you put both signs together, you get an insecure little prick. Cancer is a very insecure sign, plus Virgo being a critical one, then it makes for a person to project his inner insecurities into people. He's obviously doing that to you right now.

posted April 15, 2014 06:05 AM            

I'm a Virgo but I would never criticise someone like that (to their face). Maybe I'd think it but I wouldn't say it, it's just pointless and mean. I think Virgos can be perfectionist, but usually it's directed towards themselves and what they do rather than other people. Because this guy felt "intimate" enough with you, however, he projected that on to you.

posted April 15, 2014 06:53 AM            

Venuscorpio86, I don't know him or you personally, and how was the relationship overall, but perhaps he didn't mean it? Like someone mentioned, it's a Virgo+Cancer combo. Cancer placements make people passive-aggressive, too. It's very mean what he said (where did Cancer's sensitivity disappear?).

Don't take it personally. You are beautiful, and deserve much better.

posted April 15, 2014 08:02 AM            

I can't help but wonder though, when you are that close with someone, and I know that us ViS value honesty, truth, and sincerity. Is there a line at which point we don't want to hear the truth anymore?

Communication is tough, it's tough to not immediately wonder why they said what they said. It's even tougher to ask them why they said that, to let them know it hurt your feelings without making them defensive. You're defensive because they said something hurtful, and they're defensive because they feel you are accusing them.

It's a messy situation. The most important thing to never lose sight of, is that you do both care for each other. Communication and understanding is probably one of the hardest things to have in a relationship.

Have you ever argued with your friends? Yeah but you may not see them for a day or two or maybe more, but next time, it's all fine, water under the bridge. A partner is a lot closer, and deeper. You can't just sweep these things aside easily. At least, us ViS cannot.

posted April 15, 2014 08:08 AM            

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My long-term Virgo ex almost never criticized me which is one thing that kept me close to him. But he would compliment me profusely whenever I dressed up and made the effort to be presentable...in fact, once when I looked especially good (apparently...to him), he made me swear I would marry him. Then I got a hair cut he didn't like, and I guess that broke the engagement. Things fell apart romantically for a while.

Looks were VERY important to him, especially with his Libra stellium. I didn't fully understand that at the time, because he didn't have the heart to be openly critical. Sometimes I look back and think, "I probably could have held onto him if I was more careful with my appearance, every day."

posted April 15, 2014 09:13 AM            

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Originally posted by Faith:
That would hurt my feelings, too. Not sure if it's typical Virgo behavior, but I will say that if someone talks like that once, I think chances are they are likely to keep it up, and other "jabs" will follow.

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My long-term Virgo ex almost never criticized me which is one thing that kept me close to him. But he would compliment me profusely whenever I dressed up and made the effort to be presentable...in fact, once when I looked especially good (apparently...to him), he made me swear I would marry him. Then I got a hair cut he didn't like, and I guess that broke the engagement. Things fell apart romantically for a while.

Looks were VERY important to him, especially with his Libra stellium. I didn't fully understand that at the time, because he didn't have the heart to be openly critical. Sometimes I look back and think, "I probably could have held onto him if I was more careful with my appearance, every day."

But it wasn't meant to be.

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No, don't ever! Don't ever compromise yourself by trying to act in a certain manner in order to "please" another. Don't ever!!!

posted April 15, 2014 09:26 AM            

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Originally posted by venuscorpio86:
Is it normal for Virgo man to criticize woman he likes? Example, loose weight? Or want the girl they like to look a certain way be a certain way? A guy I was talking to said I was pretty beautiful and if I lost weight I would be even more gorgeous....who says that? Who does that?? It really wounded me severely and I am now super self conscious of my appearance and can't fathom how he managed to be intimate if he felt so negative about my weight...I feel like he is disgusted by me and used me for like for 10 months where I thought he was attracted then I hear that he said that about my weight...Im really sad and humiliated I want to be intimate with someone who finds me beautiful and sexy not mention my flaws ...Im on verge of nervous break down over this I feel disgusting ugly and foolish since I was intimate with him when I thought he found me attractive ...

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I once worked with a guy who was sooo particular about detail, it drove me insane.

He would underline every flaw I made, be very long-winded in questioning every little aspect of my work. He was annoying.

I immediately thought that he could be a Virgo Asc/Sun or Moon. Turns out , he was Virgo Mars.

I am extremely sensitive to criticism(Asc/ Saturn opposition in Scorpio) and so, I tend to avoid the critical type. Or those who tell me that I need to change this and that to be a "better" person.

I know that some people will argue that by saying,"they are only saying that because they love you" etc

My argument is always,love shouldn't be conditional. I shouldn't have to "change" this and that about myself in order to "please" them or make them happy.

My father has Moon in Capricorn with Venus in Virgo. Capricorn energy can also have a similar "cut you down to size" effect that I don't like.

He doesn't say a thing to me because my mother claims that he "fears" me. I can be so completely detached from him and dismiss him like he isn't important and what he has to say is not worthwhile.

Another friend of mine has Virgo Moon and once he critiqued my work so harshly(I'm an artist), I didn't show him any of my work anymore.

He now is very careful about what he says and often will end off with "I never want you to be that cold to me again, so I won't give my opinion if you don't ask ".

You must just do the same and establish distance. Emotional distance.

posted April 15, 2014 10:16 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by venuscorpio86:
Is it normal for Virgo man to criticize woman he likes? Example, loose weight? Or want the girl they like to look a certain way be a certain way? A guy I was talking to said I was pretty beautiful and if I lost weight I would be even more gorgeous....who says that? Who does that?? It really wounded me severely and I am now super self conscious of my appearance and can't fathom how he managed to be intimate if he felt so negative about my weight...I feel like he is disgusted by me and used me for like for 10 months where I thought he was attracted then I hear that he said that about my weight...Im really sad and humiliated I want to be intimate with someone who finds me beautiful and sexy not mention my flaws ...Im on verge of nervous break down over this I feel disgusting ugly and foolish since I was intimate with him when I thought he found me attractive ...

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I am a virgo female and my husband is overweight and yes I point it out bc I want him to lose weight and be in shape for two reasons: I want him to look the best that he can and because I dont want to die alone and since he does not take care of his health he will die at 60 while I will die at 90 and dating at 60 I am sure is not easy.

Virgos like people in general to take care of themselves and be healthy, it doesn't mean that we want everyone to follow a strict diet or that we follow a strict diet ourselves but we are big on finding a balance and having our limits so as a result we expect others to take care of themselves and have their limits too.

I still find my husband attractive...he is very cute with that sun square moon, venus square mars, sun in libra and moon in cancer with Taurus rising in spite of been overweight. I have the discipline to keep in shape and expect him to at least try to as well specially since it will affect his health in the long run and shorten his lifespan leaving me alone.

He is currently walking daily. He does not think is the end of world that I point out that he needs to lose weight and deep down he thanks me for it. He thanks me for keeping him in line working towards his goals as a programmer as well although he may make a face when I do it sometimes, he admits he appreciates me watching out for him.

I have to say you need to raise your self esteem a lot though, a man's opinion about you should not lead to a nervous break down or hospitalization. Your reaction towards this clearly shows you need to spend a long time raising your self esteem before dating again.

posted April 15, 2014 10:18 AM            

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Originally posted by AscTaurus:
No, don't ever! Don't ever compromise yourself by trying to act in a certain manner in order to "please" another. Don't ever!!!

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posted April 15, 2014 10:21 AM            

I was meaning it in the case of having to conform to their standards so that they can be able to "love you more" or whatever.

posted April 15, 2014 10:30 AM            

Of course, I'm a Pisces moon with Venus conjunct Neptune, and telling me not to conform to others wishes is a bit like asking the wind not to blow....

posted April 15, 2014 10:30 AM            

My mother is Virgo rising and is extremely judgemental of everyone ever. She always sees the flaws in people over the good stuff. She's critical of me and my sister too, but I guess that because we're her daughters, she isn't as bad with us.

posted April 15, 2014 11:23 AM            

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Originally posted by StarlightSmileSupreme:
That guy sounds like he was trying to make you feel bad about yourself. Is that normal for Virgo people? My mother is very Virgo dominant and she used to be really super bad at making people feel like they were utterly worthless dirt-scum beyond all redemption and hope. She would dig into some flaw they had and be all righteous about herself when she had severe problems of her own. Hypocritical and annoying.
I am not sure if it's normal for all Virgos but it was for her and she was sooo Virgo with all personal planets in there except the sun, Jupiter too. So she was on Virgo overdrive most the time. I haven't met other Virgos as bad as her but Abby Lee Miller is somewhat similar in attitude only probably a bit more of a bully. My mother was never that loud, brash bully. She never had the guts to take on people like that. More like a cowardly lion type heh. She would cut people down like Abby Lee Miller does. For so long I have had semi panic attacks. My mom can knock the wind out of me with one sentence she's that bad then I feel all weak and freaked out over one little put down. So weird! That's the power of too much Virgo.

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Some virgos are very annoying and hypocritical yes but you have to see the rest of the chart, a virgo sun alone does not make you like that. That person probably has other planets in virgo as well and 6th house placements. I am not like that, I critize occasionally when I sense I been to lenient bc I tend to be too lenient, but I have a lot of Neptune and Jupiter influence.

For example; my first boyfriend thought I was too skinny and brought this up a lot so I ended up breaking up with him. He was an aquarius with moon in scorpio(NOT A VIRGO).

He was good guy but he had his personal preference. It hurt but I didn't get a nervous breakdown, I just had to get over the pain of letting go and moving on like we all do for different reasons when a relationship ends.

My husband is a libra and his more rigid, picky and controlling than I will ever be not about my looks but other things and when he gets like that you would assume he is a virgo. He has a lot of 6th house placements (pluto, sun and mercury) and Taurus rising with mars in scorpio and Jupiter in virgo.

Fixed signs are also very PICKY, is not just virgo sun. Actually most people that are picky don't have just sun in virgo or a virgo sun even.

posted April 15, 2014 11:32 AM            

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Originally posted by Liliya:
It's not fair to blame just Virgos for this.
friend once told me I had a big nose... "Pisces are the most sensitive and gentle people, bla bla bla... The Saints of Zodiac..." Yeah, right! Not a single Virgo
My Pisces Sun/Venus/Mars Taurus Moon male has ever been so insensitive to me. Just imagine how I felt haha At least with the weight you can loose it, or change your hair, if other style suits you more...

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Taurus rules venus and venus is obsessed with symmetry. I don't think his criticism was a pisces thing. Nor am I saying it was purely a moon in Taurus thing either but my mom is a sun in cap with moon Taurus doctor and she has the need to tell everyone when they are gaining too much weight and loves controlling people's diets. She also has venus/mars in aquarius and venus conjunct pluto. The ruler of her 6th house is Venus and like I said her venus conjuncts pluto.

posted April 15, 2014 11:36 AM            

1) are Virgos critical?
2) why has all the work you have done to become more confident about your body backfired with one stroke from one man?

I sense massive negative Saturn natal aspects in you. We seek every reason possible to beat ourselves up. If you believe he shouldn't have said that, the appropriate response is indignation, mild shock and WTF. Not sadness and definitely not humiliation. Easy for me to say, not so easy to do, right?

I'm definitely missing your Virgo's tone and history but he said you're pretty beautiful. Hes attracted to you. Have you talked about your weight before? Have you seemed self conscious about it before? Have you stopped him from doing something because you didn't want him to notice certain parts of your body? We think we are being subtle. But guys notice all of this. They know.

If he said this without any of the above and refusing to commit after 10 months, then he's being a jackass. If he said this in a relationship when your verbal or nonverbal communication has betrayed your deeper sense of inadequacy, he's voicing your thoughts (triggered by your history). Is it still awful and critical? Yea. Because attraction is at play. He's not your buddy, he's sleeping with you. Is it fine? No.

Some Virgos want a significant other who can multitask as a "project". You need help with something on an ongoing basis? Hello Virgo.

Some Virgos simply don't know how to do the whole "how to be good to someone's self esteem" bit. They're frustrating. They're critical. But they don't cross boundaries they are not allowed to pass if you enforce them.

So, learn to set those boundaries. You're good looking. A man is signing up for you, not your future potential. Use words and nonverbal communication that indicates this. It's more about knowing how not to be as much as knowing how to be.

posted April 15, 2014 11:50 AM            

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Originally posted by FruityLlama:
I had a horrible friend growing up who was a Virgo. She claimed that I was too thin and started making jabs at me for it, claiming it that it was because she was "worried about me", even though I eat like a horse in front of her all the time. She said I was verging on anorexia and even wrote down a list of what I should and shouldn't eat, on which day etc. She was and still is a huge douche, but she said it was because she cared. But that was clearly bull, so idk.

My mother is Virgo rising and is extremely judgemental of everyone ever. She always sees the flaws in people over the good stuff. She's critical of me and my sister too, but I guess that because we're her daughters, she isn't as bad with us.

My dad has either a virgo venus or mars. Same with my mum, but he's very accepting of most people. He might be Pisces rising though.

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When I was a teenager everyone and their mother thought I was too skinny.......it was the story of my life. All signs were involved in this.

I was underweight growing up until the age of 23, my whole life till 23. I am not now, and my weight is ideal for my height. A lot of people who were not underweight in HS are now overweight. People in general were on my ass about my weight, it was super annoying. OH and I never had an eating disorder of any kind, I just didn't have the best appetite. My parents made boring food.

The only person in my life that I have told them to lose weight is my husband, that is it. I don't want him to have all these health problems later that so many of my clients have and severely affect their quality of life and I want him to look his best and not die young leaving me a widow at the age of 60.

Anyone else I stay quiet, its non of my business.

Add:
There is such thing as diabetes, high cholesterol, heart problems, poor cardiovascular health that leads to strokes and strokes lead to unexpected death or paralysis! and HBP. All these things are on the rise. These in turn affect your memory and mental health. The next thing you know you are old, feeling sick all the time, and depressed/anxious as well, with a poor memory, collecting SSI.