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Author
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Topic: No affection.. no intimacy.. no nothing
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Yanmorg
Knowflake Posts: 346
From:
Registered: Feb 2013
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posted April 22, 2014 09:32 AM
  
What aspects would cause this? A person who doesn't show affection to their partner and/or who is closed and guarded when it comes to expressing love and affection. Give me examples and please explain how someone can break the ice or help them show affection if at all possible.I'm thinking Venus retrograde? Venus trine saturn?
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SDragon
Moderator Posts: 272
From: Toronto, Ontario, Canada
Registered: Sep 2012
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posted April 22, 2014 10:23 AM
No, Venus trine Saturn would take Saturnian values highly or look for them in a partner but would express the energies in a more balanced way. Usually the harder aspects between Venus and Saturn maybe. IP: Logged |
sunflower-moon
Knowflake Posts: 186
From:
Registered: Apr 2012
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posted April 22, 2014 10:24 AM
Someone with a heavy 12th house, or negative Saturn aspects. I haven't noticed anyone with a trine to Saturn have that problem. Maybe Chiron conjunct Moon or Venus would indicate some pain with showing affection. IP: Logged |
AscTaurus
Knowflake Posts: 978
From: Pretoria, Gauteng,South Africa
Registered: May 2009
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posted April 22, 2014 10:58 AM
Saturn/Capricorn/Aquarius in 12th house. The people who have this position are usually perceived as "cold".Moon in Capricorn. Can you feel the chill up in here? Moon in Aquarius. Detached much? Saturn conjunct/hard aspects to Moon. Difficulty in expressing emotions(especially in fixed signs) Venus conjunct Saturn/ Hard aspect to Saturn. Nataly or in synastry , this position can be problematic. Affection is usually postponed, given in ounces or completely held back. Mars in hard aspect to Saturn/conjunct. Either nataly or in synastry. It is the "you are so hard on me" aspect. Mars can feel self-conscious in expressing spontaneity(nataly) or in synastry, one partners' expressions are muted(Saturn) by the other. IP: Logged |
NeptunianSag
Knowflake Posts: 714
From: Your imagination
Registered: Aug 2013
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posted April 22, 2014 11:03 AM
Im an aqua Venus conjunct Saturn, relationships feel blah to me.IP: Logged |
12muddy
Knowflake Posts: 1671
From:
Registered: Feb 2013
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posted April 22, 2014 11:06 AM
I have lots of saturn (saturn conj venus/asc, square moon..etc..) and a packed 12th house. It's rare for me to feel "connected" with someone. So yeah, without connection, everything felt kinda "flat" - it didn't matter that the other people were sweet and I was quite fond of them. It was a quite "lonely" kind of feeling. So I kept my distance to think things through and eventually ended things. It may come down to synastry. In my current relationship, there is that connection. I'm full of feelings and affection for this person... everything flow naturally. IP: Logged |
charlie
Knowflake Posts: 1735
From: los angeles, ca, USA
Registered: Jun 2012
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posted April 22, 2014 11:26 AM
First thought that came to me was "Virgo-something". But seeing as I am still working on my Virgo love and am biased towards NOT liking them, I will say lots of planets in 12H.IP: Logged |
Yanmorg
Knowflake Posts: 346
From:
Registered: Feb 2013
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posted April 22, 2014 11:32 AM
The person I had in kind while writing this post is a Scorpio with Venus in Scorpio. He also his moon and mercury in libra along with his mars in Leo. I am a Scorpio with Venus in Scorpio along with mercury(r) in Scorpio, Pluto in Scorpio, Jupiter in Scorpio, and mars in Sagittarius. I also have the moon-uranus square along with mars conjunct pluto and Sun conjunct pluto. Me and the guy have Venus trine Saturn and Mercury trine saturn in our synastry together. The only sexual aspect I see between us is mars conjunct pluto, but I don't feel that too much. I'm used to wild, spontaneous, and sexy guys. He's attractive, but he doesn't get my blood boiling like my previous relationships. Maybe that's a good thing!IP: Logged |
AscTaurus
Knowflake Posts: 978
From: Pretoria, Gauteng,South Africa
Registered: May 2009
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posted April 22, 2014 11:38 AM
Why don't you post both your charts so that we can have a look? IP: Logged |
Yanmorg
Knowflake Posts: 346
From:
Registered: Feb 2013
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posted April 22, 2014 11:40 AM
I've been trying to get his birth time for the longest, but he's having issues with his mother and I'm sure she's the one still holding his birth certificate. I generated those aspects from cafe astrology so he could have all of the aspects mentioned above, but I won't know until I get his birth time. I do see his Venus retrograde trine his Saturn retrograde. That's probably the most dominant aspect.IP: Logged |
starmoon
Knowflake Posts: 1123
From:
Registered: Sep 2011
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posted April 22, 2014 12:16 PM
I have moon Capricorn, Saturn trine venus and the sun and mars, and Saturn opposite the moon. I could care less about emotional involvements with others and it's nearly impossible to get me "unguarded." you can try with people like that but you'll never succeed, it's ingrained behavior that won't change. you might break through once or twice, or even more, but the default of people who are innately guarded means you'll never get past the barriers because it is just how they are. if you're emotionally open you need to find someone who is same - that's been my experience.IP: Logged |
next to neptune
Knowflake Posts: 1304
From: The Moon
Registered: Aug 2013
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posted April 22, 2014 01:39 PM
I don't think anyone can have a great relationship without being intimate, without showing affection, and no nothing? People who can't show affection probably won't ever have a real nice relationshipI think too much saturn aspect in synastry could make a barrier from showing affection with time, especially those to venus and moon Venus and moon aspect really do show people who can be very affective and good at expressing their emotions venus= libra/taurus and moon = cancer…both signs are really sensual, affective and nurturing towards their partner so moon/venus aspect are really great to have in synastry IP: Logged |
Comatoes
Knowflake Posts: 78
From:
Registered: Jan 2014
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posted April 22, 2014 01:47 PM
Ceres can show warmth and affection, you should use it in your synastry...IP: Logged |
LucieLemonade
Knowflake Posts: 617
From:
Registered: Sep 2013
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posted April 22, 2014 03:37 PM
quote:
Originally posted by Yanmorg:
I've been trying to get his birth time for the longest, but he's having issues with his mother and I'm sure she's the one still holding his birth certificate. I generated those aspects from cafe astrology so he could have all of the aspects mentioned above, but I won't know until I get his birth time. I do see his Venus retrograde trine his Saturn retrograde. That's probably the most dominant aspect.
I have Venus R in Scorpio opp Saturn R in Taurus. I'm really very affectionate with guys I really like. Probably too much. I think I scared my last date away. LOL. But I'm quite heavily Sag. I'm probably less affectionate and more aloof with friends than with my partner. I've never been the huggy giggly girly type of friend. IP: Logged |
LovelyKitty
Knowflake Posts: 426
From: 12th House with pr.moon
Registered: Jun 2012
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posted April 22, 2014 09:28 PM
I've seen many heavy loads 12th House ( personal planets) and I could tell , they are not detach at all . They are sweet and affection even in public. I think from previous discuss about 12thH detachment must have somethings more involved than just stellium 12th ..ie Uranus (moon or venus) , saturn involved .
Btw - I've recently met stellium 12th Virgo and 12th Cancer . Both Sun in 12th too.From what I see , I think the 12th kind of want somethings in life more in esoteric dimension. It's always like they searching somethings that might not exist ,somethings deeper than the eyes or any normal sensation can feel. I've met many in Meditation / advanced Phsycology/ hypnoses / yoga/astrology and became friends. They're all not detach. Imho, the lack of affection could be Aquareus and Saturn involved. My bf is detachment in love ...hahaha . When I kiss him or try to be a bit clingy , it took quite long time that he will response back ( than any ex- ) . At the first time I think this could be a problem in a relation because I'm a Libra Sun /Leo venus/Cancer moon (I'm kind of a passion ) . He is stellium aqua , Aries venus ,and his venus square saturn. So that's why he's cold sometimes . But if those aqua do love you , you will know because they will show that they care by doing somethings for you , thinking about you at the first priority - my bf do the laundry for me , fix my electric things, clean my computer , always remember what I like or dislike . I have everythings of his except the affection that seldom come. For me , although I'm quite passion in love but I 'm a social detachment . Since I grew up , I feel happy to live my life alone , I hardly met people (except from work) , I don't like the social interact as well. The less social activity the better for me. I have Saturn in 1st Conjunct AC, saturn square Moon , Sat. wide conjunct Sun (in 1stH). People do see me as a private & detachment . Yes, I feel lonely but it's better to stay lonely than try to adjust myself with the social ...hahaha. Though in real life I'm quite a loaner but I love to chat in internet whatever about writing , maybe my venus in 11th is working 
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IV XXIV
Knowflake Posts: 31
From:
Registered: Mar 2014
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posted April 22, 2014 10:46 PM
quote:
Originally posted by LovelyKitty:
I've seen many heavy loads 12th House ( personal planets) and I could tell , they are not detach at all . They are sweet and affection even in public. I think from previous discuss about 12thH detachment must have somethings more involved than just stellium 12th ..ie Uranus (moon or venus) , saturn involved .
Btw - I've recently met stellium 12th Virgo and 12th Cancer . Both Sun in 12th too.From what I see , I think the 12th kind of want somethings in life more in esoteric dimension. It's always like they searching somethings that might not exist ,somethings deeper than the eyes or any normal sensation can feel. I've met many in Meditation / advanced Phsycology/ hypnoses / yoga/astrology and became friends. They're all not detach. Imho, the lack of affection could be Aquareus and Saturn involved. My bf is detachment in love ...hahaha . When I kiss him or try to be a bit clingy , it took quite long time that he will response back ( than any ex- ) . At the first time I think this could be a problem in a relation because I'm a Libra Sun /Leo venus/Cancer moon (I'm kind of a passion ) . He is stellium aqua , Aries venus ,and his venus square saturn. So that's why he's cold sometimes . But if those aqua do love you , you will know because they will show that they care by doing somethings for you , thinking about you at the first priority - my bf do the laundry for me , fix my electric things, clean my computer , always remember what I like or dislike . I have everythings of his except the affection that seldom come. For me , although I'm quite passion in love but I 'm a social detachment . Since I grew up , I feel happy to live my life alone , I hardly met people (except from work) , I don't like the social interact as well. The less social activity the better for me. I have Saturn in 1st Conjunct AC, saturn square Moon , Sat. wide conjunct Sun (in 1stH). People do see me as a private & detachment . Yes, I feel lonely but it's better to stay lonely than try to adjust myself with the social ...hahaha. Though in real life I'm quite a loaner but I love to chat in internet whatever about writing , maybe my venus in 11th is working
I agree. I've got Sun (Taurus), Mercury and Venus (both in Aries) and Ceres (in Leo) all in 12th house and I'm not that detached. I'm not the most affectionate, but you'll never hear someone I love say, "I wish you showed you love me more". Those closest to me say I "show affection in my own way". I am incredibly shy with showing affection though and I fear rejection, so most of the times I get the urge to show affection, I just stifle it.
Funny thing about 12th housers wanting something that almost doesn't exist... That's how I feel towards everything.. I hate small talk, hate "flings", hate anything light-hearted.. I want the deep, dark and dirty. Also, funny about psychology, I'm a neuroscience and psych double major. Hit the nail on the head with me  IP: Logged |
Odette
Knowflake Posts: 4081
From:
Registered: May 2012
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posted April 22, 2014 11:08 PM
Retro Venus can be pretty damn weird... 'Can be' ... Not 'always is'. But when you meet a coo coo one.. they won't just be cold. They'll seem robotic and alien. Like a person who literally came from another planet and can't interact with other humans. IP: Logged |
12muddy
Knowflake Posts: 1671
From:
Registered: Feb 2013
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posted April 22, 2014 11:30 PM
quote:
Originally posted by IV XXIV:
Funny thing about 12th housers wanting something that almost doesn't exist...
Yeah, that's kinda how I felt too. It was hard for me to explain - "I like you but it is not enough..." IP: Logged |
Yanmorg
Knowflake Posts: 346
From:
Registered: Feb 2013
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posted April 23, 2014 12:01 AM
So I'm guessing he's either not THAT interested or it just takes him longer to warm up? He texts and calls often, but I'm guessing he's just not that into me. His Venus in Scorpio Retrograde is very apparent, but it's obviously not the reason for his distant behavior when it comes to affection.IP: Logged |
aah08
Knowflake Posts: 207
From:
Registered: Nov 2013
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posted April 23, 2014 12:05 AM
I'm guessing something in Virgo?
I'm Virgo asc and i'm like the title.
Also I have Venus trine Uranus.
Moon in Virgo
Sun in 12th house.
Venus square Mars
Saturn in 7th opp Chiron...
Like i'm ok single, i of course, crave relationships sometimes and would like one but i'm so used to being single that i feel i don't need them anymore....IP: Logged |
aah08
Knowflake Posts: 207
From:
Registered: Nov 2013
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posted April 23, 2014 12:07 AM
quote:
Originally posted by IV XXIV:
Funny thing about 12th housers wanting something that almost doesn't exist...)
=000,, THIS so much, do you know the feel when someone tells you something and it feels like a slap in the face, well I just felt that...I had a realization!!!!!!!!! IP: Logged |
IV XXIV
Knowflake Posts: 31
From:
Registered: Mar 2014
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posted April 23, 2014 10:16 AM
quote:
Originally posted by Yanmorg:
So I'm guessing he's either not THAT interested or it just takes him longer to warm up? He texts and calls often, but I'm guessing he's just not that into me. His Venus in Scorpio Retrograde is very apparent, but it's obviously not the reason for his distant behavior when it comes to affection.
If you guys just started dating or whatever your case may be, I would say it's definitely going to take him longer to warm up. I don't automatically just get all affectionate and caring out of fear of overwhelming you or smothering you. Many people I've met are the same, regardless of their astrological signs and placements. If it's the beginning, don't worry too much. Don't let it bum you out IP: Logged |
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