Lindaland
  Astrology 2.0
  Zodiac Lightbulbs

Post New Topic  Post A Reply
profile | register | preferences | faq

UBBFriend: Email This Page to Someone! next newest topic | next oldest topic
Author Topic:   Zodiac Lightbulbs
Ellynlvx
Knowflake

Posts: 9225
From: the Point of Light within the Mind of God
Registered: Aug 2013

posted June 19, 2014 02:03 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Ellynlvx     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:

The Inevitable Lightbulb Jokes

Q: How many Arians does it take to change a lightbulb?
A1: Just the one. You want to make something of it, eh?
A2: None: Arians aren't afraid of the dark.
A3: Only one Arian, but an awful lot of light bulbs. (*smash*)

Q: How many Taureans does it take to change a lightbulb?
A1: One. But only if they can celebrate afterwards with a ten course meal and some great sex.
A2: None: Taureans don't like to change anything.
A3: One, but just *try* to convince them that the burnt out bulb is useless and should be thrown away.

Q: How many Geminis does it take to change a lightbulb?
A1: Two. Plus a portable phone, an Internet link and a copy of the "Bluffer's Guide to Changing Lightbulbs."
A2: Two (of course) but it will take all week and when they're done the light bulb will do your homework, speak French and shine any colour you want from it.
A3: Two, but the job never gets done --- they just keep arguing about who is supposed to do it and how it's supposed to be done!

Q: How many Cancerians does it take to change a lightbulb?
A1: Just one. But it takes a therapist three years to help them through the grief process.
A2: Just one, and they'll use a non-disposable diaper too!
A3: None: A Cancerian would worry herself to death with the problem.

Q: How many Leos does it take to change a lightbulb?
A1: Leos don't change lightbulbs, although sometimes their agent will get a Virgo in to do the job for them while they're out.
A2: One: He holds the bulb, and the world spins around him.
A3: None: A Leo would order somebody else to change it.
A4: None: Leos are so enthusiastic they carry their own light.

Q: How many Virgos does it take to change a lightbulb?
A1: Virgos don't have time to change their own lightbulbs. They're too busy changing them for everyone else.
A2: Approximately 1.000000 with an error of +/- 1 millionth.
A3: Let's see: One to spot the bulb, one to record the time the bulb burned out and the date it was bought, one to decide who's fault it is the bulb burned out and ask why that brand was chosen in the first place, ten to decide to remodel the house as long as they're changing the bulb ...

Q: How many Librans does it take to change a lightbulb?
A1: Er, two. Or maybe one. No --- on second thoughts, make that two. Is that okay with you?
A2: Why change the bulb? Isn't it more romantic in the dark?
A3: Well gee, I don't know really. I guess it depends on the bulb and where it burned out. It might perhaps take just one if it's just an ordinary bulb, but maybe two if the person doesn't know where to find a new light bulb, or perhaps ...

Q: How many Scorpios does it take to change a lightbulb?
A1: None --- they'd rather sit in the dark.
A2: So who wants to know? Why do *you* want to know? Are you a cop?
A3: That information is strictly secret and shared only with the Enlightened Ones in the Star Chamber of the Ancient Hierarchical Order.

Q: How many Sagittarians does it take to change a lightbulb?
A1: Look, ask me when I get back from India, okay?
A2: The sun is shining, the day is young, we've got our whole lives ahead of us, and you're inside worrying about a stupid burned out light bulb?
A3: A whole bunch: I can only keep them in the room long enough for them to give the bulb a quarter turn apiece.

Q: How many Capricorns does it take to change a lightbulb?
A1: None. Capricorns can't afford new lightbulbs --- unless they're a legitimate business expense.
A2: I don't waste my time with these childish jokes.
A3: None: Why should I bother? It's probably just going to burn out again tomorrow anyway.

Q: How many Aquarians does it take to change a lightbulb?
A1: Well, you have to remember that everything is energy so...
A2: A hundred, but they'll all be competing to be the one to change the bulb and bring light to the world.
A3: Like, why don't you just get out of my face and stop asking me to do all your work for you? I'm, like, really totally sick and tired of you asking me questions.

Q: How many Pisceans does it take to change a lightbulb?
A1: Lightbulb? What lightbulb?
A2: Huh? The light's out?
A3: None: only the inner light matters.


AstroJokes HomePage


------------------
Love,

Ellyn

IP: Logged

DeepFreeze
Knowflake

Posts: 2447
From: Pluto with Barbiegirl19
Registered: Nov 2013

posted June 19, 2014 02:18 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for DeepFreeze     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
A2 for Leo

But honestly they're all funny!

IP: Logged

fairaqua
Knowflake

Posts: 629
From:
Registered: Feb 2011

posted June 19, 2014 02:55 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for fairaqua     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
My Asc
Virgo: A1

My Sun
Capricorn: A1/A3

My Moon
Aries: A1

IP: Logged

Wild Horses
Knowflake

Posts: 245
From:
Registered: Jul 2012

posted June 19, 2014 03:43 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Wild Horses     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
These were all great. Thanks for the laughs.

I'm Cancer rising. I really do put a cloth under the bulb when I change it. I've had a few shatter on me before, so ya know Cancer's motto, "Better safe than sorry." Then, if it shattered, my Virgo Moon would wanna know, "OK! Who bought these crappy bulbs?!"

My Gemini Sun just loved reading all your jokes.

IP: Logged

Ami Anne
Moderator

Posts: 56049
From: Pluto/house next to NickiG
Registered: Sep 2010

posted June 19, 2014 03:51 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Ami Anne     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Very cute, E

------------------
Want To Ask Any Question About Bible Prophecy? Go For it. It is Free, of course.


http://www.mychristianpsychic.com/

IP: Logged

Randall
Webmaster

Posts: 42717
From: Saturn next to Charmainec
Registered: Apr 2009

posted June 19, 2014 03:56 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Randall     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
You know you're dealing with Astrologers when they check more than just their Sun.

IP: Logged

Ellynlvx
Knowflake

Posts: 9225
From: the Point of Light within the Mind of God
Registered: Aug 2013

posted June 19, 2014 05:58 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Ellynlvx     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Well, now that I think of it, Romantic CandleLight Glow Does have a Nice Ambiance.

Hmmm...

IP: Logged

Ellynlvx
Knowflake

Posts: 9225
From: the Point of Light within the Mind of God
Registered: Aug 2013

posted June 19, 2014 06:01 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Ellynlvx     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Oh course it's Hot Enough this time of year without adding more Heat to the room.

I really think I hesitate to throw the bulbs away because it's difficult to decide which recycling stack in which to place them.

So There.

Hrmph.

IP: Logged

Odette
Moderator

Posts: 4450
From:
Registered: May 2012

posted June 19, 2014 08:15 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Odette     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:

Q: How many Pisceans does it take to change a lightbulb?
A1: Lightbulb? What lightbulb?
A2: Huh? The light's out?

omg LOL

That's me! Pisces Merc..

IP: Logged

Mercurian Intellect
Knowflake

Posts: 3593
From: Vulcan & Mercury. Yes, I was born on both planets, somehow.
Registered: Sep 2013

posted June 19, 2014 09:10 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Mercurian Intellect     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
"Gemini:
A3: Two, but the job never gets done --- they just keep arguing about who is supposed to do it and how it's supposed to be done!"

"Leo:
A3: None: A Leo would order somebody else to change it."

Me - Gemini Moon and Leo Ascendant, lol.
The Gemini one especially. But the job will get done... it's just a light bulb, lmao.

IP: Logged

aquaguy91
Moderator

Posts: 9726
From: tennessee
Registered: Jan 2012

posted July 18, 2014 06:36 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for aquaguy91     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Haha thats great

IP: Logged

lalalinda
Moderator

Posts: 3912
From: nevada
Registered: Apr 2009

posted July 18, 2014 06:48 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for lalalinda     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote

------------------

"For all those who believe, expect a miracle.”
Linda Goodman 1925-1995

IP: Logged

Ellynlvx
Knowflake

Posts: 9225
From: the Point of Light within the Mind of God
Registered: Aug 2013

posted July 18, 2014 03:49 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Ellynlvx     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Yeah, I still laugh when I think of them...

IP: Logged

scorpio17
Knowflake

Posts: 799
From: Netherlands
Registered: Dec 2009

posted July 19, 2014 06:28 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for scorpio17     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
LOL

IP: Logged

Geeky
Knowflake

Posts: 597
From:
Registered: Dec 2012

posted July 19, 2014 03:37 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Geeky     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
"Leos don't change lightbulbs, although sometimes their agent will get a Virgo in to do the job for them while they're out."

I have Leo asc. & this is soooooo like me. *lol*

IP: Logged

CAY_512
Knowflake

Posts: 599
From:
Registered: Nov 2010

posted July 19, 2014 05:02 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for CAY_512     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Lol love this

IP: Logged

7Grace
Newflake

Posts: 12
From:
Registered: Jul 2014

posted July 19, 2014 05:04 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for 7Grace     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Thanks for posting this Ellynlvx. They're all s funny.

IP: Logged

All times are Eastern Standard Time

next newest topic | next oldest topic

Administrative Options: Close Topic | Archive/Move | Delete Topic
Post New Topic  Post A Reply
Hop to:

Contact Us | Linda-Goodman.com

Copyright 2000-2014

Powered by Infopop www.infopop.com © 2000
Ultimate Bulletin Board 5.46a