posted July 06, 2014 11:22 AM            

This is not interpersonal, since I'm talking about the natal Venus.

Not only in a man's chart Venus is supposed to show his romantic preferences, but you know how it is universally referred to as an image of our "love method", a way to treat romance and romantic expectations? (I'm a girl so the perfect lover image doesn't apply.)

I keep thinking about the reasons why it doesn't work for me. Like, at all.
I have Venus in Virgo. You know the drift: cool-headed, analytical, loves calm stable relationships, is attentive to detail, doesn't show too much emotion, doesn't appreciate it, either, and so on.

And it couldn't be any more different for me. My idea of a good romantic relationship is passion, passion and more passion. Intense, emotional, sparks flying in all directions, deep, hot, soul-scorching, intense, dramatic, romantic, did I mention intense? (Also highly sexual, I would never in my life consider a possibility of a romantic relationship without sex being amazing, and I'm super demanding, too.)

I've got a placement which fits the description and it has nothing to do with my Venus sign. It is my Sun, Mercury & Uranus stellium in Scorpio. I also have a tight dynamic aspect between Moon and Uranus, which maybe contributes, and a Sun-Pluto conjunction across the border between signs. Anyway, the Virgo-like idea of a romantic relationship bores me to tears. If I had to choose a Venus for myself without knowing my birth date, based on personality description alone, it would have been either Aries or Scorpio.

But Venus must affect something in the romance field? It has to. Otherwise, its whole interpretation as a personal planet is a moot point. A feral planet might have explained it, but mine isn't, it has several aspects to personal planets.

So... any theories? Does anyone else feel like the traits of their Venus sign and their idea of a good romance are very much at odds?

posted July 06, 2014 11:56 AM            

Do you have any conjunctions or hard aspects to your Venus? These aspects especially tend to change the way said planet expresses itself.

Oh, and Mercury, the ruler of your Venus (as in Virgo is ruled by Mercury), is in Scorpio. That must be why you like passion and intensity so much.

Duads have some effect, too.

If you don't feel like your Venus/Moon/Mars sign or whatever planet, check the house, aspects and dispositor (= the planet that rules the sign Venus/Moon/Mars, etc. is in).

This is coming from a Virgo Venus who has it in her 12th house, square Jupiter and Uranus and in the Cancer duad. Ruler Mercury is in Virgo 12th house as well. I relate a lot to the descriptions of Venus in Pisces (my 12th house) and Cancer (the duad). Even Sagittarius and Aquarius (the squares to Jupiter and Uranus) to a lesser extend.

posted July 06, 2014 02:07 PM            

Venus conj Jupiter in Virgo in 3rd house
Venus conj Saturn (very loosely & in different sign)
Venus trine Moon
Venus sextile Mercury
Venus square Neptune
Venus semisextile Pluto-Lilith conjunction

the tighest aspect (0 degrees) is Venus sextile Uranus (in Scorpio in 5th house), and Uranus also rules both my 7th and 8th houses. But I never paid too much attention to sextiles, to be honest, they seem kind of weak to me. More like a tendency, perhaps.

meissieri,
this is super interesting: you are right. Mercury, the ruler of my Venus, is in Scorpio in the 5th house *and* is in conjuction with the aforementioned Uranus.

Oh I just realized. My Moon's dispositor is also Mercury--which is once again in Scorpio.

I made a list of dispositors and it's only 3 signs for the whole list: Scorpio, Sagittarius and Virgo. The whole list is too long, but here's the personal planets:

Scorpio Sun, dispositor in Sagittarius
Gemini Moon, dispositor in Scorpio
Scorpio Mercury, dispositor in Sagittarius
Virgo Venus, dispositor in Scorpio
Sagittarius Mars, dispositor in Virgo

posted July 06, 2014 03:18 PM            

I don't know why so many people dismiss sextiles. I think it's a powerful aspect. It blends he two energies together so you are the two energies, while a square would bring tension and you have to consciously make it work to bring them together. You might not notice the sextile because the energies are already blended together. You don't have to do anything about it, that's just how it is.

TO ME at least I think Venus is how both men and women express our love whether we like it or not. So even if you're a guy Venus would show you how you love. So you might WANT something other than your Venus. Venus I don think goes deep enough to describe an actual relationship. What's your moon and it's aspects? What about Mars? Mars is more about the passion and sex and chasing. Also Venus can just describe your aesthetic. You just might need a calm environment and hate clutter.

posted July 07, 2014 01:52 AM            

The kind of romance I want is something that is somewhat detached, but the sex should be extremely passionate. Like, I want to be able to talk to the guy for hours about the randomest things ever and never get bored. I want to be able to express myself fully in a relationship without my partner judging me, instead, he'll love me for being weird. I also want a relationship where we go to random places where I've never been before and try things I've never tried before. Communication is very important to me as my Venus (Virgo) and my chart ruler (in conjunction) are in my 3rd house. I would feel uncomfortable dating someone who is inarticulate and intellectually deprived. Like I said, I want a relationship that is somewhat detached, so that means no getting jealous over the smallest things or being too overpossessive. I like intimacy and passion, though. Mostly only when physically touching with someone like cuddling and kissing.

I feel like my descendant (Sagittarius) describes more of the kind of relationship I want than my Venus.

posted July 07, 2014 03:16 AM            

I always pay attention to the aspects of conjunctions and squares that the personal planets make to the outer planets.

When I read what kind of relationships you are into,I couldn't help but feel that it is quite a tall order.

One question though;Do your relationships border on the obsessive, "can't live without you" stuff?

Do you find that you may even stalk the person that you are attracted to-should they not reciprocate in kind?

Venus in Virgo is not void of emotion and this placement has been given a bad reputation.

Venus in the sign of Virgo is serious about love and is willing to do all the work that is required to keep their partner happy.

They are at their best when they are serving their partner and making their partner comfortable.Does this ring a bell?

Also, the "detachment" that is described by this placement is not-so much intellectual detachment as Gemini/Libra and Aquarius placement.

But it is the detachment and a tendency for this placement to be so acutely aware of every nuance in a relationship,that they get distracted tending to the details and fail to be "in the moment".

Venus in Virgo(much like Cap and Taurus) is an earth placement and is thus strongly sensual and physical. They really can be very proficient in the art of making love and enjoy driving their partner wild.

For them,it is seldom about themselves and, much like Libra,it is through pleasing their partner that they themselves are happy.

Their mantras usually are: "Did I please you?", "Are you satisfied?", "How can I go about making you happy?", "What can I do to make it better?","Do you like it when I touch you there?" etc.

Those who are "prudes" or seem rigid are usually the ones that are terrified of being the "best perfect lover" that they have expect themselves to be.

For them, the imagined failure to live up to their highest ideals is so painfully strong, that they don't even try.

posted July 08, 2014 03:35 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by bansheequeen:
I don't know why so many people dismiss sextiles.

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quote:

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Originally posted by bansheequeen:
Venus I don think goes deep enough to describe an actual relationship. What's your moon and it's aspects? What about Mars? Mars is more about the passion and sex and chasing. Also Venus can just describe your aesthetic. You just might need a calm environment and hate clutter.

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My Moon is in Gemini
the tightest aspect is Moon trine Jupiter in Virgo (0 degrees)
also
Moon trine Venus in Virgo
Moon trine Saturn in Libra
Moon opp Uranus in Sagittarius
Moon sextile Asc in Leo

My Mars is in Sagittarius
the tightest aspect is Mars trine Asc in Leo
also
Mars sextile Saturn in Libra
Mars conj Neptune in Sagittarius

In the first stages of the dating game, I behave like my Moon & Asc, I think. And the way I act towards my boyfriend is like a mix of Moon, Sun and Asc. Maybe because my Asc is super aspected (there are major aspects to Sun, Moon, Mars, Jupiter, Saturn, Cupid and North Node), I feel it very strongly and people see it, too.

quote:

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If you ask me I would say your scorpio energy eclipses your virgo energy and with a stellium probably by quite a ways. Sure your venus is in virgo but scorpio trumps just about all and it sounds like to me that is what is taking over in that department.

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quote:

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having a Capricorn Venus in 3H makes mental stimulation important to me. Having a partner I can exchange knowledge with about any topic under the sun is a turn on. I love the arts and great conversation.

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quote:

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Originally posted by Solar_Leo_Queen:
I feel like my descendant (Sagittarius) describes more of the kind of relationship I want than my Venus.

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But jealous and possessive, oh my it's like the fuel my relationships run on.)) I had fights with partners over jealous threats. Which not only I'm prone to, I also find them romantic. And hot. I remember those conversations with an Aries Moon + Scorpio Venus guy I used to date:
"Who the hell is that blonde person you've been talking to?! Why the hell didn't you come straight to me?" *glares*
"Aww... you missed me sooo much, I see." *flattered*

posted July 08, 2014 03:51 PM            

Yes, that Jupiter conjunction makes me think the traits should be pronounced. Jupiter is also in Virgo. It's double Virgo, and Jupiter tends to make everything "more", so...

quote:

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Originally posted by Aries23Degrees:
When I read what kind of relationships you are into,I couldn't help but feel that it is quite a tall order.

One question though;Do your relationships border on the obsessive, "can't live without you" stuff?

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No bells are ringing.)) I’m more likely to want to own my lover or to go on an adventure with them rather than to make them comfortable. Sometimes I actually enjoy making them uncomfortable in order to make their emotions flow more freely. Too much comfort, to me, leaves very little room for either growth or fun. There is this deep and transformative Scorpio energy at play: don't feel comfortable with me. Joyful and full of energy, yes--but don't get cozy, neither of us will grow that way. It's supposed to be an extreme adventure, exciting and scary and happy and heart-rending and heart-mending at the same time. I'll rock the boat if it's too cute.

posted July 08, 2014 06:20 PM            

Having a lot of fire will make you very passionate. I would say Scorpio is a more like a hot coal. They smolder and burn very hot for you but they won't always make a display of it, even to you. Sometimes I feel like they'd rather burn alive inside lol. Fire signs are all out explosions. If you want passion without babies and a Mortgage I'd say that's more of a fire sign influence.

And scorpios love comfort. They love being made to feel safe and all that jealousy and mind games is just a way to bring about that security and comfort for them. You know how after a fight you feel extra secure in a relationship. Something like that.

posted July 10, 2014 07:02 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Aries23Degrees:
Would you mind posting your chart?

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quote:

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Originally posted by bansheequeen:
They love being made to feel safe and all that jealousy and mind games is just a way to bring about that security and comfort for them. You know how after a fight you feel extra secure in a relationship. Something like that.

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I wonder what was that Virgo man's Mars--reflecting the actual actions he was taking.

quote:

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Originally posted by jenny415:
Will also point out I know a gem man w venus in gem and he is very jealous when girl tAlks to other guys and very possessive. He has mars in scorpio but I thought mars is not important in a relationship for a man...?[/B]

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posted July 11, 2014 01:42 PM            

I stand by what I said. Venus is the attractor and signifies what people find "sexy" about us. It also rules the "sex appeal" we project in order to attract others to us.

What I failed to mention however, was that it works in conjunction with the 5th house.

Since you have a packed 5th house,it suggests a very playful attitude and a tendency towards creativity/artistic pursuits.

You look at the Scorpio placements as the indicator of "intensity", I am looking at Mars(traditional ruler of Scorpio)in the 5th.

To me,Mars here suggests a very bold person, even intense,who is not averse to attracting mates through being assertive, straight-forward and candid etc.

The 5th house and Venus, however, are all about courting and the initial stages of the relationship. As the relationship matures, the Moon and the 7th house take over.

Your Moon makes an opposition aspect with Uranus and this,to me, suggests that you may initiate a lot of changes within the relationship and dislike it when things get stagnant.

Your affections towards your partner can be abrupt and they can find you unpredictable at best.

With the 7th house in Aquarius and the ruler (Uranus)in the 5th house,it suggests that your partner could be someone who is playful and romantic.Someone who may also be very creative or have a childlike nature.

This "intensity" you insist upon, is all Pluto in the 4th house Angle.

Pluto in 4th makes family ties an "all or nothing" avenue. You could love your family very much or just be indifferent to them.

It also suggests that you can reach levels of very deep self-introspection and become very aware of who you are, your motives and what makes you tick.

Pluto on the IC suggests that this is the part of your personality that you reserve only for yourself and will not share with others.

The interesting thing is that Pluto is also the ruler of the 5th house and thus has the issues of this house brought to the 4th- making them very much a part of your "sense of belonging".

It is natural for you to be playful, natural for you to be creative etc. It gets you in touch with your inner child.

What's more is,the the ruler of the 1st house(Sun is also placed here)in the 4th house;so to have a sense of belonging is very important to your identity and knowing who you are.

Your "intensity" is more likely to be "Cancer" in feel than anything else: You protect the home,the hearth and what makes you feel like you belong. You obsess over these things a great deal.

If the relationship is one projection that re-enforces a strong sense of "belonging" for you, than Pluto is activated and you will do as much as you can to revolutionize, examine,deepen and authenticate the bond between yourself and the person.

But with so many placements in the 5th and that restless Moon-Uranus opposition. i doubt that you stay long enough past the initial "exciting' stages. Because that is really when you most feel alive.

posted July 13, 2014 02:57 PM            

What kind of sex appeal is projected by Venus in Virgo? I did have a guy tell me once that there is something in my looks that's like a 'teacher from a Catholic school for girls who's more wicked than she seems'--is that it?

Playful attitude, yes, absolutely correct. If it's a serious relationship (=I'm emotional about it), then I'll waver between playful/affectionate and jealous/possessive/angry.

Also yes on the lot of changes. It's like a mix of wanting change/sudden/adventure and a certain stability of depth.

quote:

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Originally posted by Aries23Degrees:
Pluto in 4th makes family ties an "all or nothing" avenue. You could love your family very much or just be indifferent to them.

It also suggests that you can reach levels of very deep self-introspection and become very aware of who you are, your motives and what makes you tick.

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Also yes on the exciting stages.
It's like a buddy movie about cops, only without the guns and chases, you know? The cop partners have this bond between them, but their life together is exciting with changes and adventures and stuff happening. They can rely on each other, that's their stability--but everything else is not stable. If it makes any sense...