posted July 10, 2014 02:32 AM            

I'm a polymath. I can draw photo-realistically, write well, dance well, play instruments well without ever having played them, spontaneously create new music within the boundries of prescribed structures.

Most of all people call me a brain blower. I say things that blow people's minds open. But for some reason I always feel like I need to repress what I'm going to say.

It's like the taoist thing, "those who know do not speak." It's not that I'm silent because I want to know. I'm silent because I do know. I know that as soon as I say something, no matter how true I think it is, I will move further along the road and discover something new that completely reverts what I previously thought.

It's like the discovery of the higgs boson field and the implications of quantum physics. I know what quantum entanglement implies before quantum physisists do because I know so many random things from so many general topics, along all lines of cognition, sensory, intuition, feeling, etc, that the sollution presents itself to me visually.

That's why I can look at a chart and memorize it for 30 different people in a room. I know if someone is a gemini ascendant that their seventh house is the opposite sign, sagitarrius...I could pretty much calculate it instantly in my head.

I know that a paradox is the edge of our perceived reality.

But then I think it's pretty pointless to say much about anything. All that really matters is love.

All that matters is that we make the memories we won't regret. And if we do regret memories we convert them in to loving ones.

I know that when I run five miles at the two and a half mile mark I begin to cry. Part of it is from joy and part of it is from sadness. Part of it is from my personal joy and sadness and a part of it is from my transpersonal joy and sadness.

That feeling in that moment, the images of the starving children, the images of my sick loved one, the joy of my hard work, the light at the end of the tunnel during the dark night of my soul.

What is the point of writing it? Will anyone ever even read it in this day in age?

It all dissolves. I don't know what to do with my insights. I just keep them to myself. I apply them, I live them, I breathe them, and I sweat them.

But they weigh me down whether I share them or not.

Something tells me though that one day I may share or write them. One day.

I think...

I don't know...

I have sun conjunct neptune...is that what dissolves me?

posted July 10, 2014 02:51 AM            

Yeah, the instantaneous grasp of subjects, the "brain blowing", the random intuition all sounds pretty Uranian. Especially quantum entanglement...

Maybe keep a journal?

posted July 10, 2014 11:12 PM            

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Originally posted by socialgraffiti:
You sound a bit like my friend, who has an exact Mercury/Uranus conjunction in Sagittarius. Which exactly sextiles my exact Moon/Uranus conjunction in Aquarius

Yeah, the instantaneous grasp of subjects, the "brain blowing", the random intuition all sounds pretty Uranian. Especially quantum entanglement...

Maybe keep a journal?

I try to keep a journal to just write things down when I get the impulse, but I don't do it regularly, cause I keep on forgetting.

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posted July 11, 2014 02:50 AM            

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Originally posted by fishbull11:
http://polymathprojects.org/

Maybe this is a place for some release, just a thought. With all that knowledge and boiling it down to "love" being the target of life I would thing someone like yourself could make it just fine in this world. I don't know after reading what you had to say I thought maybe a professional blogger would be a good outlet. Good luck finding outlets for your ways and means, you have quite a gift.

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I'm doing well. I've passed some difficult exams but I don't know what to do when I'm done.

I think I'll start writing a blog to help calm people's nerves. Or help those too far in the sky return down to the ground.

posted July 11, 2014 02:55 AM            

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Originally posted by arcturiann:
Sounds like youve figured it out! I wanted to ask though if you had any quintiles in your chart?

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I have two quintiles that I think help..or a biquintile and quintile..

I have a moon(pisces) quintile chiron(gemini). I think this helps me spontaneously create. I do it almost as a shamanic experience. I used to want to be a performer.

Sometimes I feel an overwhelming urge to go on stage either in a comedic sense or to write songs for someone with a beautiful voice and face.

I only think about the comedy because I once was in front of a crow and read a personal narrative which was entirely serious.

The entire crowd laughed and the speaker asked the crowd if they ever laughed so hard. Everyone nodded to mean no and that's when I saw potential dollar signs.

But the idea of doing comedy irks me...yet excites me...can you tell I'm a gemini ascendant?

I also have jupiter in capricorn biquintile my ascendant...

I have some quintiles to asteroids too...I might have to check my harmonics some time if you'd like...the one for quintiles.

I know I have vesta in libra quintile neptune and biquintile venus...

posted July 11, 2014 03:08 AM            

I'm saying this because in person I've been likened to public speakers, although I see my self as a total introvert recluse. My previous employer said I had a gift with connecting things that seemed completely unrelated and by that method blowing open the mind.

We've had long discourses on topics ranging from past lives to why stories are extensions of our biologies and modify our dna.

I've thought about starting a you-tube channel too because like Alan, I have an idiosyncratic voice, quite distant, although I sound nothing like the man, I have all the same moves. But sometimes I get paranoid or feeling like I'm doing something wrong by using youtube. I feel my privacy is invaded. I guess I am a one on one type person.

Yet...again, I am reminded, those who know, do not speak.

posted July 11, 2014 05:32 AM            

I put it down to sag moon wanting to spill & Scorpio asc wanting to hide and mercury-Pluto self-censorship. Sag moon conj Neptune I think has something to do with the sacred bit & also feeling it's futile which I gather applies to sun Neptune too

But I do have mercury Uranus inconjunct and the mind bending act of talking about not talking about something appeals to that stressful aspect in a sick way lol

posted July 11, 2014 12:42 PM            

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Originally posted by florence:
I have some similar urges about the not saying certain things as something sacred but it doesn't feel natural to me. I feel more like I know through experience and reading that certain things should not be said. But I really want to say them, don't have the maturity to not have that urge.

I put it down to sag moon wanting to spill & Scorpio asc wanting to hide and mercury-Pluto self-censorship. Sag moon conj Neptune I think has something to do with the sacred bit & also feeling it's futile which I gather applies to sun Neptune too

But I do have mercury Uranus inconjunct and the mind bending act of talking about not talking about something appeals to that stressful aspect in a sick way lol

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