Author
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Topic: Venus in Pisces in 1st + Fragility
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freebrainstorms Knowflake Posts: 1282 From: Registered: Sep 2010
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posted July 10, 2014 01:06 PM
Does anybody else have venus and ascendant in pisces in 1st? I feel like I'm just too fragile for this life right now. I'm so godamn sensitive and everything wounds me. There's this group that i used to want their approval REALLY badly - ok, I still kind of do. I always feel like the nerd wanting to hang with the cool kids. Last night when they were really high they were like "ha, see i told you if we stuck around here we'd run into her" They always do that, just talk around me - they're nice enough in person but then sometimes I feel like they really bully me like that. I suffer from bad anxiety and am super awkward at times so I never know what to do when they do that so i just go silent and internalize it but it really hurts me because i'm so hyper aware of acting weird with my anxiety, The same with sometimes people will say something to me, and it's like I can't tell if they're talking to me or to somebody else. I never want to assume that they're talking to me but i'm never sure. This happens a lot where i can't tell if people trying to hit on me or not. Just last night I wasn't sure if my friend was hitting on me or not. Then in my head I thought hey if he is, I've already slept with his best friend and ruined that friendship and his friend that I slept with was right there and I felt like I might hurt his feelings going for his friend right in front of him. I don't even know if I want to sleep with him, but I really really care about him, he makes me feel comfy but not sexualized - I'm not sure and this how I get all wrapped up in my head and go crazy. lol Delusion is a real problem for me, I wish people would just be straight up and say what they're thinking or what they mean.I'm an empath too and this all just eats me up inside and I'm really suffering from all this and the bullying really hurts and I'm just not sure how to deal with it. Sorry, I guess I just needed to rant. They really hurt my feelings....I really wish I had tougher skin. I do have amazing friends, but these people disempower me so badly and I don't know what I give them the power to do so. I feel like my heart's too big for this world, because even through all this I still like them all and want their approval and I don't understand why they don't like me or feel the need to do that to me. I just want to hug the world and it breaks my heart having people not care about me as much as I care about them. much love to you all. p.s. Despite how this rant seems, I am 26 but apparently going on 16. FML, ok LiveJournal out. IP: Logged |
Selenite Knowflake Posts: 72 From: Registered: Aug 2013
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posted July 10, 2014 03:18 PM
my ex has this. he is indeed very sensitive, but he has aqua sun/moon/rising, and he kept his sensitivity very under control to the point where he was always mad at me (and abusive!) and I had no idea why. i would say make sure you have an outlet. try as hard as possible to embrace it. you will have to, eventually. it's good you're aware of it i am an empath, too and i can barely go to the mall without absorbing hate and sadness. but it can be done. you can protect yourself and make your own energy stronger. this, i am still learning to do. but it's actually pretty cool once it starts working IP: Logged |
Comatoes Knowflake Posts: 195 From: Registered: Jan 2014
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posted July 10, 2014 04:58 PM
I know how you feel, but the first thing you need to do is ditch everything that is not empowering to you. Friends and family can be the worst for empaths, you may need to surround yourself with people who are understanding and supportive, since you are impressionable you need to do this ASAP.Start cleaning up your environment, get great music, books, art, and start learning how to shield yourself, a lot of info is available on the internet. IP: Logged |
freebrainstorms Knowflake Posts: 1282 From: Registered: Sep 2010
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posted July 17, 2014 10:53 PM
Thanks all, I have actually spent a great deal of time getting to the place I'm was at where I thought I could push away some of that negative energy - that's kind of why that hit me so hard. I spent a few hours crying after that whole thing happened, then I read a bunch of Elephant Journal articles such as: http://www.elephantjournal.com/2013/09/5-ways-to-detect-toxic-people-cheryl-kemp/ and this one which revolutionized my way of thinking: http://www.elephantjournal.com/2013/08/are-you-empowered-by-being-here-jamie-khoo/ (I highly reccomend Elephant Journal for all - I pay for a subscription, they're just that good.) Then I sang along to a loud musical at the top of my lungs....and then I went back and faced those people (ok I ignored them as much as I could - we were at a festival so I just didn't choose to go to the places I thought they would be, rather than consciously avoid them) and you know what? it totally worked itself out. I transformed over that week, I told the people I care most about about my experience and they all were so outraged and showed me such overwhelming love and support that by the time the weekend was over I finally felt fully free from this group for the first time in about 5 years. I actually feel healed, and I no longer give a **** about them. I passed by them numerous times and for the first time ever, I felt like I had actually held the power. The tides seem to have turned now and two of them chose to say hi to them (where they never would have gone out of their way to say anything to me) and I got invited to two events by them including a smaller gathering - the invite seriously shocked me. I feel absolutely transformed and I wholly feel like I radiate love lately. I also seem to finally be able to be vulnerable and accept affection towards myself which is something I've always struggled with. I even managed to use my empathy to make somebody feel better. I found an acquaintance of mine looking (feeling) sad and alone while he was surrounded by people and I ran up to him and gave him a big hug and told him that he could always talk to me because I've been there. He was so grateful that I felt like I just saved a puppy from a car or something. I honestly feel as if I saved him a tiny bit that morning, especially because I know he's super depressive and even wears arm warmers at all times... Thank you for responding and for your amazing support. Honestly, I know that I have never ever been more at peace with myself and it's amazing to finally feel that way. I know that I won't always feel this way, but right now it's just so amazing to feel strong, powerful, while also recognizing that I am sensitive and passionate and empathetic. YAAAAAY FOR GROWTH!! hehe IP: Logged |
12muddy Knowflake Posts: 1906 From: Registered: Feb 2013
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posted July 17, 2014 10:58 PM
my mom has 1st house pisces sun/venus conj asc. She has an aqua stellium. Nag she's not fragile.... She was raised in a tough environment though. Very devious. IP: Logged |
PisceanDream Newflake Posts: 13 From: Alexandria, VA, USA Registered: Jun 2014
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posted July 17, 2014 11:07 PM
I have my Venus in Pisces (along with Sun, Mercury, and Saturn) all in the first house but I'm an Aqua ascendant. I'm not sure that it would imply fragility because I wouldn't describe myself as fragile (especially in social situations) although I do consider myself sensitive. I'm more curious about your moon sign because I feel it's more relevant to what you're going through. Sorry to hear that you are being bullied, people can be really awful. Is your chiron by any chance in aspect to your ascendant? I think a first house Venus usually gives off charming energy and makes the native quite likeable and easy to get along with (perhaps far too much). IP: Logged |
freebrainstorms Knowflake Posts: 1282 From: Registered: Sep 2010
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posted July 17, 2014 11:23 PM
Interesting! My moon is in virgo, so opposite both venus and ascendant.IP: Logged |
sweet-scorpion Moderator Posts: 1793 From: CO, USA Registered: Apr 2012
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posted July 18, 2014 01:10 AM
I am sorry to hear about your struggles. The first things that came to mind when I read your post: A: Does Chiron touch your Moon? Is Chiron prominent in your 11th house of friends and social circles? Is it near the Descendant? B: What is going on with your 11th house in general? Is Pluto and/or Saturn there? C: Does Saturn afflict any of your personal planets, especially your Descendant ruler, or your Moon? Your Sun? D: Your Moon in Virgo opposite the Ascendant will show that you feel you have a very hard time being understood in certain social settings. I have this Moon placement and it's no cake walk...you'll feel nervous easily and with the ASC/DSC emphasis, you will feel nervous about how you present yourself socially. Moon opp. Venus can indicate a cognitive dissonance between emotional and romantic needs. IP: Logged |
StarlightSmileSupreme Knowflake Posts: 8809 From: neptune Registered: Nov 2012
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posted July 18, 2014 02:03 AM
I have felt like this before lots of times IP: Logged |
freebrainstorms Knowflake Posts: 1282 From: Registered: Sep 2010
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posted July 18, 2014 08:15 PM
quote: Originally posted by sweet-scorpion: I am sorry to hear about your struggles. The first things that came to mind when I read your post: A: Does Chiron touch your Moon? Is Chiron prominent in your 11th house of friends and social circles? Is it near the Descendant? B: What is going on with your 11th house in general? Is Pluto and/or Saturn there? C: Does Saturn afflict any of your personal planets, especially your Descendant ruler, or your Moon? Your Sun? D: Your Moon in Virgo opposite the Ascendant will show that you feel you have a very hard time being understood in certain social settings. I have this Moon placement and it's no cake walk...you'll feel nervous easily and with the ASC/DSC emphasis, you will feel nervous about how you present yourself socially. Moon opp. Venus can indicate a cognitive dissonance between emotional and romantic needs.
A: Chiron is in Gemini at 23 degrees, but I have nothing in gemini in my chart, just an awful lot of Sagittarius and a few Aqua placements and one aries. My moon is Virgo 27 degrees but I'm pretty sure now it's progressed to Libra. Gemini *is* pretty common among people I hang out with, partly because of all my aqua and sag. My desendant is at 8 degrees in Virgo. B: 11th house = Neptune (capricorn) but only because it's at the end of my 10th house and so interpreted as the 11th. It unofficially trines my moon and officially sextiles my Pluto (3.29) and my ascendant (0.53). Pluto is in my 8th in Scorpio and saturn is in my 10th in sagittarius. C: Saturn sextiles my mercury, and unofficially my sun, and it squares both my moon (1.46) and venus (2.50) and trines my jupiter and conjuncts my uranus. D: I totally agree with you about moon opp ascendant, it's definitely a tricky one. IP: Logged |
freebrainstorms Knowflake Posts: 1282 From: Registered: Sep 2010
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posted July 20, 2014 06:51 PM
BUMP for sweet-scorpionIP: Logged |
sweet-scorpion Moderator Posts: 1793 From: CO, USA Registered: Apr 2012
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posted July 20, 2014 08:36 PM
quote: Originally posted by freebrainstorms: A: Chiron is in Gemini at 23 degrees, but I have nothing in gemini in my chart, just an awful lot of Sagittarius and a few Aqua placements and one aries. My moon is Virgo 27 degrees but I'm pretty sure now it's progressed to Libra. Gemini *is* pretty common among people I hang out with, partly because of all my aqua and sag. My desendant is at 8 degrees in Virgo.B: 11th house = Neptune (capricorn) but only because it's at the end of my 10th house and so interpreted as the 11th. It unofficially trines my moon and officially sextiles my Pluto (3.29) and my ascendant (0.53). Pluto is in my 8th in Scorpio and saturn is in my 10th in sagittarius. C: Saturn sextiles my mercury, and unofficially my sun, and it squares both my moon (1.46) and venus (2.50) and trines my jupiter and conjuncts my uranus. D: I totally agree with you about moon opp ascendant, it's definitely a tricky one.
Hi there, sorry for the delay in my reply. I lost track of the thread somehow. Can you post a picture of your chart and progressed chart? I've been having some cloudy thinking tonight and seeing a visual would really help me out. From what you wrote, I can make some quick observations: Saturn sq. Moon is a very painful placement that can make you feel like you are not good enough as you are. With your Moon in Virgo, this will be quite difficult for you since Virgo is already a perfectionist. Saturn-Moon hard contacts seem to make one secretly sensitive and prone to bullying or feeling excluded. Since your Moon is in the 7th you may feel you have real insecurities in showing your emotions when going one-on-one. Saturn sq. Venus is also a hard-hitter. This denotes that you wish to be more outgoing and affectionate, but feel that you were not appreciated for who you were since you were young... you may feel you attract close relationships that are burdensome and painful, and you can easily become melancholic and downtrodden about how heavy your personal contacts are. Issues of self-esteem will be prevalent for you and you may find you never have enough of it, especially in social situations. Neptune in the 11th is a tricky placement for socialization. You may be too gullible and willing to trust when it comes to making friends. An acquaintance may be mistaken for a good friend when he/she does not return the same feeling. Be wary of users. At best, you'll have open minded, sensitive and artistic friends so all hope isn't lost. But Neptune also has a shadow side like any other planet. I'll observe your chart and see how tight the Moon-Neptune trine is... that can definitely point to sensitivity. The fact that the trine takes place between planets in two social houses indicates an even greater awareness of social sensitivity and a need to be 'perfect' in social settings in order to feel love and security.
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Randall Webmaster Posts: 42894 From: Saturn next to Charmainec Registered: Apr 2009
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posted July 22, 2014 10:58 PM
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Randall Webmaster Posts: 42894 From: Saturn next to Charmainec Registered: Apr 2009
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posted July 24, 2014 04:21 PM
Bump so she can see the chart request.IP: Logged |
freebrainstorms Knowflake Posts: 1282 From: Registered: Sep 2010
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posted July 24, 2014 07:46 PM
I saw it, just haven't had time to figure out how to post my chart yet. I'm getting ready to go out of town for a month in a few days.IP: Logged |